Boundaries and COVID-19: What to Do When Your Adult Children Come Home
With college campuses closed and many entry-level jobs being impacted by the economy, adult children are moving back home with their parents. Now what?
Dr. John Townsend helps families to navigate expectations and responsibilities to set healthy boundaries and show mutual respect. He addresses communication issues and formulating and implementing a plan for rules in your home that can work for everyone.
Below is a partial transcript of part of the discussion between Jim Daly, of Focus on the Family, and Dr John Townsend, co-author of Boundaries.
Dr. Townsend:
Because of what’s happening [with Covid-19], they (young adults) are loosing jobs and they can’t be in school and they’re coming back as adults.
Basically what we have happening is a temporary reversal of God’s entire created order. Because when you look at Genesis 2, it says, what do you do when you get old enough to get out there and be autonomous, you leave and cleave. You find your own mate and social system, and career and passion. All of a sudden the breaks are on that stuff, and somebody who had these dreams to get out there and find their way … [now] I’ve got to come back to my bunker room with my bunk bed and my little brother on the bottom of it?
The reversal of the created order creates a tension in and of itself.
Jim Daly:
You as the 19, 20 year old, maybe 25-year-old, come back into this environment, and it’s got to be weird. Right?
Dr. Townsend:
it’s very weird. First off, they’re sort of embarrassed. I was ready to go make my move, to start my company, start a church, find the right guy or gal to get married — now all of a sudden I’m dependent again. I’m moving from independence to dependence.
The second thing is that it’s all freedom. They’ve lost freedom…. So the challenge is to be able to give them appropriate freedom in a space where there’s not as much freedom as there was, and make it work out.
Watch the entire interview below.
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