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Discworld #22.5
The Sea and Little Fishes
Free online fiction. Novelette.
This is the story of the time that Granny Weatherwax didn't win the Witch Trials and was nice about it, too. It was horrifying.
"It's not right! She's got no right to go around being cheerful at people!"
Originally published in the collection Legends Vol. 3.
This is the story of the time that Granny Weatherwax didn't win the Witch Trials and was nice about it, too. It was horrifying.
"It's not right! She's got no right to go around being cheerful at people!"
Originally published in the collection Legends Vol. 3.
76 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 1998
About the author
Terry Pratchett
511 books43.7k followersSir Terence David John Pratchett was an English author, humorist, and satirist, best known for the Discworld series of 41 comic fantasy novels published between 1983–2015, and for the apocalyptic comedy novel Good Omens (1990), which he co-wrote with Neil Gaiman.
Pratchett's first novel, The Carpet People, was published in 1971. The first Discworld novel, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983, after which Pratchett wrote an average of two books a year. The final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was published in August 2015, five months after his death.
With more than 100 million books sold worldwide in 43 languages, Pratchett was the UK's best-selling author of the 1990s. He was appointed an Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) in 1998 and was knighted for services to literature in the 2009 New Year Honours. In 2001 he won the annual Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, the first Discworld book marketed for children. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2010.
In December 2007 Pratchett announced that he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. He later made a substantial public donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust (now Alzheimer's Research UK, ARUK), filmed three television programmes chronicling his experiences with the condition for the BBC, and became a patron of ARUK. Pratchett died on 12 March 2015, at the age of 66.
Pratchett's first novel, The Carpet People, was published in 1971. The first Discworld novel, The Colour of Magic, was published in 1983, after which Pratchett wrote an average of two books a year. The final Discworld novel, The Shepherd's Crown, was published in August 2015, five months after his death.
With more than 100 million books sold worldwide in 43 languages, Pratchett was the UK's best-selling author of the 1990s. He was appointed an Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) in 1998 and was knighted for services to literature in the 2009 New Year Honours. In 2001 he won the annual Carnegie Medal for The Amazing Maurice and His Educated Rodents, the first Discworld book marketed for children. He received the World Fantasy Award for Life Achievement in 2010.
In December 2007 Pratchett announced that he had been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease. He later made a substantial public donation to the Alzheimer's Research Trust (now Alzheimer's Research UK, ARUK), filmed three television programmes chronicling his experiences with the condition for the BBC, and became a patron of ARUK. Pratchett died on 12 March 2015, at the age of 66.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 163 reviews
November 15, 2017
While it’s true that Sam Vimes is one of my favorite literary characters, Sir Terry Pratchett’s Granny Weatherwax is high in the running as well. And not too far behind is Granny’s friend and confidant, Nanny Og. Joining these two together, Pratchett has achieved a comedic duo on the level of Tim Conway and Harvey Korman.
This short story / novelette was first published in 1998 and describes the Lancre Witch Trials and specifically the one in which Granny was asked not to participate since she won every year, to allow for a more favorable playing field for all the other witches. A committee was formed and a delegation of senior witches went to visit Granny and the rest is Discworld history.
Granny’s magic, while very real and extremely powerful, is most frequently used by her in more subtle ways. Granny is a master of “headology”, an understated but blisteringly effective method of getting what she wants. In Nanny Og’s assessment, Granny doesn’t do good for people, but she does right by them. In other words, mess with Granny and you’ll get you’re just desserts, perhaps in the form of jam that you could pitch a roof with.
Hilarious.
This short story / novelette was first published in 1998 and describes the Lancre Witch Trials and specifically the one in which Granny was asked not to participate since she won every year, to allow for a more favorable playing field for all the other witches. A committee was formed and a delegation of senior witches went to visit Granny and the rest is Discworld history.
Granny’s magic, while very real and extremely powerful, is most frequently used by her in more subtle ways. Granny is a master of “headology”, an understated but blisteringly effective method of getting what she wants. In Nanny Og’s assessment, Granny doesn’t do good for people, but she does right by them. In other words, mess with Granny and you’ll get you’re just desserts, perhaps in the form of jam that you could pitch a roof with.
Hilarious.
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September 24, 2019
Available in the books A Blink of the Screen and Legends, volume 3.
This Discworld short story tugged at my heart and my brain so much I could not not give it the maximum amount of stars; indeed, it already owns the maximum amount of my love. As one would expect from Sir Terry, it is beautifully written but there is such a wonderful, human undertow to the entire story that it cannot be faulted, despite there perhaps being one or two typos and maybe a sentence that didn't really make sense.
It concerns my favourite Discworld characters, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, which perhaps makes me wholly biased toward it. It was also the second ever printed story that has ever made me cry and that is a very difficult thing to do. I cannot think of any other superlatives to describe it; it is perfect. I dislike short stories and, yet, five stars is not enough.
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This Discworld short story tugged at my heart and my brain so much I could not not give it the maximum amount of stars; indeed, it already owns the maximum amount of my love. As one would expect from Sir Terry, it is beautifully written but there is such a wonderful, human undertow to the entire story that it cannot be faulted, despite there perhaps being one or two typos and maybe a sentence that didn't really make sense.
It concerns my favourite Discworld characters, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg, which perhaps makes me wholly biased toward it. It was also the second ever printed story that has ever made me cry and that is a very difficult thing to do. I cannot think of any other superlatives to describe it; it is perfect. I dislike short stories and, yet, five stars is not enough.
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January 1, 2020
The Sea and Little Fishes (Discworld #22.5), Terry Pratchett
A coalition of witches, led by self-appointed organiser Lettice Earwig, asks Granny Weatherwax not to participate in the annual Lancre Witch Trials, on account of her always winning. She agrees, becoming disconcertingly nice. It is revealed in later stories, most specifically the Tiffany Aching series, that this is because Granny has made it clear that she does not approve of Lettice Earwig's methods, and admitting that a rival is correct "at the time of her own choosing" is the greatest and most calculated insult Granny can possibly deliver to another witch, essentially having agreed with Lettice Earwig's own unwitting 'admission' that she cannot beat Granny. The title has confused people; Pratchett has since explained that Granny is the sea, and the other witches are the fishes (at one point Nanny says that calling Granny 'full of pride' is like calling the sea 'full of water'; water is what the sea is). It is based on the "ancient phrase" The big sea does not care which way the little fishes swim, which Pratchett made up at some point before the story, and finally used in Night Watch.
نخستین کتاب مجانی که خوانش آن در نخستین روز ماه ژانویه سال 2020 به پایان رسید
عنوان: دریا و ماهیهای کوچک (دیسکوراد، #22.5)؛ نویسنده: تری پرتچت؛
ائتلافی از جادوگران ، به سرپرستی سازمان دهنده خود لتایس ایرویگ، از مادربزرگ ودرواکس میخواهند، که به خاطر پیروزی، همیشه در جلسات سالانه جادوگران لنکر شرکت نکند. او موافقت میکند، ولی از اینکار خوشش نمیآید و خوشایند او نیست. «دیسک ورلد»، یک مجموعه کتاب فانتزی هستند، که بدست «تری پرچت (پرتچت)»، نویسندهٔ انگلیسی، نوشته شده اند. داستانهای این مجموعه، در جهانی با نام «دیسکورلد» میگذرند، که صفحه ای مسطح است، که بر شانه های چهار فیل عظیم الجثه قرار دارد. این فیلها نیز به نوبهه ی خود بر پشت یک لاکپشت غولآسا، با نام «آتوئین بزرگ»، قرار دارند. در این مجموع،ه بارها از موضوعات کتابهای نویسندگانی همچون: «جی. آر. آر. تالکین»، «رابرت هاوارد»، «اچ. پی. لاوکرافت»، و «ویلیام شکسپیر»، به صورت طنز استفاده شده است. از مجموعهه ی «دیسکورلد» بیشتر از هشتاد میلیون نسخه، در سی و هفت زبان به فروش رفته است. ا. شربیانی
A coalition of witches, led by self-appointed organiser Lettice Earwig, asks Granny Weatherwax not to participate in the annual Lancre Witch Trials, on account of her always winning. She agrees, becoming disconcertingly nice. It is revealed in later stories, most specifically the Tiffany Aching series, that this is because Granny has made it clear that she does not approve of Lettice Earwig's methods, and admitting that a rival is correct "at the time of her own choosing" is the greatest and most calculated insult Granny can possibly deliver to another witch, essentially having agreed with Lettice Earwig's own unwitting 'admission' that she cannot beat Granny. The title has confused people; Pratchett has since explained that Granny is the sea, and the other witches are the fishes (at one point Nanny says that calling Granny 'full of pride' is like calling the sea 'full of water'; water is what the sea is). It is based on the "ancient phrase" The big sea does not care which way the little fishes swim, which Pratchett made up at some point before the story, and finally used in Night Watch.
نخستین کتاب مجانی که خوانش آن در نخستین روز ماه ژانویه سال 2020 به پایان رسید
عنوان: دریا و ماهیهای کوچک (دیسکوراد، #22.5)؛ نویسنده: تری پرتچت؛
ائتلافی از جادوگران ، به سرپرستی سازمان دهنده خود لتایس ایرویگ، از مادربزرگ ودرواکس میخواهند، که به خاطر پیروزی، همیشه در جلسات سالانه جادوگران لنکر شرکت نکند. او موافقت میکند، ولی از اینکار خوشش نمیآید و خوشایند او نیست. «دیسک ورلد»، یک مجموعه کتاب فانتزی هستند، که بدست «تری پرچت (پرتچت)»، نویسندهٔ انگلیسی، نوشته شده اند. داستانهای این مجموعه، در جهانی با نام «دیسکورلد» میگذرند، که صفحه ای مسطح است، که بر شانه های چهار فیل عظیم الجثه قرار دارد. این فیلها نیز به نوبهه ی خود بر پشت یک لاکپشت غولآسا، با نام «آتوئین بزرگ»، قرار دارند. در این مجموع،ه بارها از موضوعات کتابهای نویسندگانی همچون: «جی. آر. آر. تالکین»، «رابرت هاوارد»، «اچ. پی. لاوکرافت»، و «ویلیام شکسپیر»، به صورت طنز استفاده شده است. از مجموعهه ی «دیسکورلد» بیشتر از هشتاد میلیون نسخه، در سی و هفت زبان به فروش رفته است. ا. شربیانی
February 6, 2017
What better way to start 2017 with than this short story about Nanny Ogg and Granny Weatherwax, both firm favourites of mine already. Both are kick-ass characters in their own right, but this tale puts a "twist" on how both ladies tend to operate.
Granny is not an expert in headology for nothing, you know.
Granny is not an expert in headology for nothing, you know.
January 1, 2017
The Sea and Little Fishes is a cute short story in the Discworld universe, featuring Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg. It can be found for free here: http://loki.ovh.org/T%20Pratchett%20-...
In this story, we see what happens when somebody accuses Granny Weatherwax of not being “nice”. Sometimes you don’t really want what you think you want… This was a fun story, featuring two of my favorite Discworld characters.
In this story, we see what happens when somebody accuses Granny Weatherwax of not being “nice”. Sometimes you don’t really want what you think you want… This was a fun story, featuring two of my favorite Discworld characters.
December 11, 2020
"Trouble began, and not for the first time, with an apple."
Originally published in the Legends, Vol. 3 anthology, later reprinted in A Blink of the Screen, it can however be easily found online to read for free. It's the longest and most fleshed-out Discworld short story I've read yet, and my new favorite, featuring two of my favorite characters, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg. This story blends together the two main things I love about Discworld: Hilarity and humanity, all while holding up a mirror so we can see ourselves clearly in this alternate world. Maybe too close for comfort.
It's time for the annual Witch Trials, which Granny always wins, and a self-appointed committee feels that she should not enter in order to give other witches a fighting chance. And Granny... acquiesces. Not only that, she takes it well. She's nice about it. And that's enough to mess with everyone's heads, more than any petty power play or actual curse ever could. A story about getting what you think you wanted, only to find out that it's not what you needed, and about expectations, as well as the consequences of missing them. Plus, it features Granny in a frilly pink dress, bringing homebaked goods for the community. If that doesn't scare you out of your wits, I don't know what will.
"Granny was an old-fashioned witch. She didn't do good for people, she did right by them. But Nanny knew that people don't always appreciate right. Like old Pollitt the other day, when he fell off his horse. What he wanted was a painkiller. What he needed was the few seconds of agony as Granny popped the joint back into place. The trouble was, people remembered the pain."
May 24, 2020
This is the perfect Granny Weatherwax story and captures the very essence of one his best characters. time are changing and Granny is not. She is no-nonsense, lances the boil regardless of the pain because it must be done. She is not the nice one, but when times are absolutely the worst, she is the one you need. This gem of a story is a bit different for Terry Pratchett, much darker than one normally gets from him and what a great read. the witch trials are coming up and a self appointed committee approaches Granny Weatherwax and asks her not compete because she wins every year. What ensues is one of the greatest metaphorical stories I have read in ages. Highly satirical that pokes fun at the nature of competitions and the idea that everyone can be a winner. A great look at the self-important and their views as compared to reality. The title says it all. I do not recommend this wonderful tale for those not initiated in the Disc World series. You will miss too much of the inside joke.
February 8, 2017
I've struggled with Terry Pratchett books on a few occasions and wished I could get into them. My partner is a big fan and has urged me to try them many times as he insists they're truly the work of a genius. I wasn't overly convinced. Until now. This Pratchett short story is an absolute gem! It had me giggling a treat! I'm so glad I took the time to read this, it has whetted my appetite, particularly the books about the witches. I loved this, it really cheered me up and helped with my January blues.
June 30, 2023
I love the witches. ♡
December 15, 2023
Nice short story about the Discworld witches, can be found for free online. Granny Weatherwax is surprisingly nice, after she's been asked to step down in the witches' contest, one she always wins. Funny like always, the short stories by Terry Pratchett are really entertaining.
November 12, 2016
Just marvellous. This is a great little story of the witches... No spoilers.
June 8, 2017
Features Granny Weatherwax attempting to be nice. If that doesn't scare you, I don't know what will.
October 17, 2022
Granny Weatherwax gets asked not to participate in the annual Lancre Witch Trials, to give someone else a chance as Granny always wins. It's just a fun short story in the Discworld series.
September 24, 2020
Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg stories are the best stories, even when they are short stories.
And when Granny decides to kill them with kindness, even Nanny Ogg is scared.
And when Granny decides to kill them with kindness, even Nanny Ogg is scared.
August 2, 2024
Trouble began, and not for the first time, with an apple.
The witches are back! This is just a short story about the witches’ trials. When all witches come together and of course Granny Weatherwax wins every time!
But this year... The committee doesn’f find it fair, so they don’t want granny to compete. Then maybe the other witches might have a chance?
But how will granny Weatherwax react to this? Can she just accept it?
Pointy hats and entertainment for everyone, you gotta love the witches and how they think!
February 22, 2021
A lovely short story in between more Discworld installments :). The Witches are my favorite bunch of characters and sub-series within the Discworld arc. Just look at how perfect this dialogue is: :)
"But ... Letice didn't mean to be cruel, Esme. I mean, she's spiteful and bossy and silly, but -"
"You've known me since we was girls, right?" Granny interrupted. "Through thick and thin, good and bad?"
"Yes, of course, but -"
"And you never sank to sayin' "I'm telling you this as a friend", did you?"
Nanny shook her head. It was a telling point. No one even remotely friendly would say a thing like that.
"But ... Letice didn't mean to be cruel, Esme. I mean, she's spiteful and bossy and silly, but -"
"You've known me since we was girls, right?" Granny interrupted. "Through thick and thin, good and bad?"
"Yes, of course, but -"
"And you never sank to sayin' "I'm telling you this as a friend", did you?"
Nanny shook her head. It was a telling point. No one even remotely friendly would say a thing like that.
March 22, 2021
I did not know about the existence of this short story and so it was such fun to discover it. Our favourite witches and the annual Witch Trials where witches come to show off their skills - except everybody knows Granny Weatherwax will win. So Letice Earwig takes it upon herself to ask Granny to not compete this year, and Granny decides to be nice....Loved it as always.
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https://www.angelfire.com/weird2/athe...
February 9, 2019
Сборник с кратки творби на уникалния Тери Пратчет! Съдържание, което е идеално както за дългогодишните почитатели на един от най-големите майстори на фантастичното перо, така за хора, които винаги са искали да се запознаят с творчеството му, но изправени пред десетките романи от Света на Диска, не са знаели от къде да започнат. Това е „Примигване на екрана”! Прекрасна колекция от разкази, обхващащи различни периоди от творчеството на Пратчет – както ранните години, така и по-уверените, в които маестрото вече е напипал разпознаваемия си стил и продължава да се гъбарка, както с всичко на света, за което можете да се сетите, така и със... самия себе си. Изданието идва с логото на „Сиела”, в първокласен превод от Светлана Комогорова-Комата. Прочетете ревюто на "Книжни Криле": https://knijnikrile.wordpress.com/201...
May 5, 2020
A short story I missed the first time I read the Discworld so I'm happily enjoying it now for the first time. Great segue to the witch trials in later novels. Pratchett had such a way of understanding and describing gatherings, this reminds me of Beltane celebrations in the UK.
July 5, 2020
Leer a Pratchett es como encontrarte con un viejo amigo, aunque pasen meses sin coger un libro suyo cuando empiezas a leer sobre las brujas, Mundodisco o la "cabezología" es como si no hubiera pasado el tiempo. En este relato se narra otra historia más de las brujas y aunque sea corta deja un par de frases magistrales como siempre.
August 11, 2024
Humorous
September 17, 2016
This was the very first thing I ever read by Terry Pratchett, it was in a compilation book called Legends. I was blown away, and I think it is because this was my introduction to the Discworld, and my introduction to Granny Weatherwax that my all tame favorite Discworld stories feature the Witches, and Later on Tiffany Aching :)
bloody brilliant!
bloody brilliant!
April 19, 2014
Granny Weatherwax wreaks psychological terror in a pink dress. Wonderful short story that encompasses everything I love about the Lancre Witches.
July 5, 2015
Brilliant and funny!
October 8, 2018
This may be my favorite summation of what it means to be Granny Weatherwax. A great short story. Favorite quotes coming later :)
April 17, 2021
Letice had a black velvet cloak so fine that if looked as if a hole had been cut out of the world. Nanny did not. Nanny did not want a fine velvet cloak and did not aspire to such things. So she didn't see why other people should have them.
It was the same in just about every trade. Sooner or later someone decided it needed organizing, and the one thing you could be sure of was that the organizers weren't going to be the people who, by general acknowledgement, were at the top of their craft. They were working too hard. To be fair, it generally wasn't done by the worst, neither. They were working hard, too. They had to.
No, it was done by the ones who had just enough time and inclination to scurry and bustle. And, to be fair again, the world needed people who scurried and bustled. You just didn't have to like them very much.
Pratchett’s fantasy is unusual in two ways: it has humans in it, and it has social development in it. Most have only the tails of us: the worst and the best, the peak and trough experiences which don’t actually cover very much of life.
November 10, 2023
I’m sure I once read a Terry Pratchett book, but judging by my records it must have been many years ago. I read this book largely because of his reputation; I could do with some laughter in this awful world we currently inhabit.
Fortunately, I found the humour I needed. But it’s an intelligent humour, gently poking fun without today’s tendency toward cruelty when seeking a laugh. Refreshing to come across a writer who can bring a smile, grin, and even a laugh out loud response to the antics of his creations without feeling the need to belittle others.
The story has enough twists and turns to explore and reveal the characters in all their glory, and the events and actions are combined to take full comic advantage of the oddities and foibles of these people.
Terry was a master storyteller, and I shall definitely be reading more of his work once I’ve ploughed through the sixty-odd titles in my TBR list!
Fortunately, I found the humour I needed. But it’s an intelligent humour, gently poking fun without today’s tendency toward cruelty when seeking a laugh. Refreshing to come across a writer who can bring a smile, grin, and even a laugh out loud response to the antics of his creations without feeling the need to belittle others.
The story has enough twists and turns to explore and reveal the characters in all their glory, and the events and actions are combined to take full comic advantage of the oddities and foibles of these people.
Terry was a master storyteller, and I shall definitely be reading more of his work once I’ve ploughed through the sixty-odd titles in my TBR list!
March 8, 2019
This Pratchett short story is about the witches, one of my favorite sets of characters from Discworld. As always, Granny Weatherwax shows her supreme skills at headology when a committee is formed by other witches to suggest to Granny she not compete in the yearly Witch Trials.
This is available online here, with the same terrible background as Troll Bridge, but this story is too long to copy & paste into a review. You'll just have to muddle through.
You can also read it in A Blink of the Screen (a set of short stories by Pratchett) and Legends Vol 3, a compilation of short stories by Pratchett, Le Guin, Robert Jordan, and Tad Williams (not familiar w/ that author), set in their respective well-known worlds.
This is available online here, with the same terrible background as Troll Bridge, but this story is too long to copy & paste into a review. You'll just have to muddle through.
You can also read it in A Blink of the Screen (a set of short stories by Pratchett) and Legends Vol 3, a compilation of short stories by Pratchett, Le Guin, Robert Jordan, and Tad Williams (not familiar w/ that author), set in their respective well-known worlds.
January 2, 2022
If you want to understand Pratchett’s philosophy of witchcraft right out the gate, I would recommend reading this as the second in anyone’s Witches series journey. It encapsulates and summarises transparently what lies at the root of any of the witches’ decisions, and it served to clarify many of my questions about the series.
Furthermore, it’s the least parody-like book of the series, but what it lacks in light-hearted humor it makes up for in the raw conflict and the intensity. It does not sugarcoat when exploring what people see in Granny Weatherwax, the power of perception and her very human relationship with Nanny Ogg.
It’s one of the few Pratchett works I’ve felt the need to reread outside of the Tiffany Aching series.
Furthermore, it’s the least parody-like book of the series, but what it lacks in light-hearted humor it makes up for in the raw conflict and the intensity. It does not sugarcoat when exploring what people see in Granny Weatherwax, the power of perception and her very human relationship with Nanny Ogg.
It’s one of the few Pratchett works I’ve felt the need to reread outside of the Tiffany Aching series.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 163 reviews