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Highlight Real: Finding Honesty & Recovery Beyond the Filtered Life
A music prodigy, head of her class, and well-liked in school, Emily Paulson decided early that embellishment paved the road to success. As she grew up, she figured out how to make the picture look even better--with a successful husband, five beautiful children, and all the required accompanying accoutrements.
Then along came social media, where those pictures of the perfect life grew her a following of women who believed that everything about Emily was blessed and inspiring.
But behind the filtered façade was a reality filled with trauma, addiction, and dysfunctional behavior. From disordered eating to breaking the law and nearly destroying her marriage, Emily had been running from her own trauma for years. Living a life shot through with more self-destruction than she could track, Emily knew things had to change when she woke up one morning and realized that she was barely participating in the picture she had so carefully crafted.
Highlight Real: Finding Honesty and Recovery Behind the Filtered Life is the true story of what happens when a so-called perfect mother and businesswoman is forced to find reckoning with her past and build a future based on the authenticity she has always sought.
Searingly honest, heartbreaking and packed with uncountable did-she-actually-just-say-that moments, Highlight Real is a memoir of healing as well as a fully modern look at what happens when the filters fall off and real life emerges into the light.
Then along came social media, where those pictures of the perfect life grew her a following of women who believed that everything about Emily was blessed and inspiring.
But behind the filtered façade was a reality filled with trauma, addiction, and dysfunctional behavior. From disordered eating to breaking the law and nearly destroying her marriage, Emily had been running from her own trauma for years. Living a life shot through with more self-destruction than she could track, Emily knew things had to change when she woke up one morning and realized that she was barely participating in the picture she had so carefully crafted.
Highlight Real: Finding Honesty and Recovery Behind the Filtered Life is the true story of what happens when a so-called perfect mother and businesswoman is forced to find reckoning with her past and build a future based on the authenticity she has always sought.
Searingly honest, heartbreaking and packed with uncountable did-she-actually-just-say-that moments, Highlight Real is a memoir of healing as well as a fully modern look at what happens when the filters fall off and real life emerges into the light.
226 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 11, 2019
About the author
Emily Lynn Paulson
4 books138 followersEmily Lynn Paulson is the author of Hey Hun and Highlight Real, is a speaker, and the founder of Sober Mom Squad. She has given two powerful TEDx talks, both challenging the status quo of parenting, alcohol use, and feminism as we know it. Paulson has also been featured in major publications such as the Today Show, New York Times, Washington Post, The Seattle Times, Chicago Tribune, Next Question with Katie Couric, and the Tamron Hall Show. She lives in Central Oregon with her husband and their five children.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
June 5, 2023
Oh, Emily.
I am very often wary of anything written by an author about themselves. How can you really trust what they are putting on paper? It is so easy to change your motivation after the fact. I picked up “Highlight Real” because I read Paulson’s second book, “Hey, Hun” first, and I loved it. I wanted to see what set up Paulson to have the epiphanies she had in her second book.
Do I believe Paulson put it all out there? Yes. Totally. She puts it all out there and I know it’s the truth because this is a searing indictment of her actions for years. Yes, she talks about how alcohol was a problem. Yes, she dives into her trauma. However, she doesn’t distance herself from her actions. She was responsible and she knows that. She doesn’t blame the alcohol or the trauma and excuse herself.
I uttered (out loud) quite a few times the opening line to this review. There are many places where you feel the pain and embarrassment of everyone involved. However, that honesty makes you root for Paulson instead of turning on her. Some people write outrageous things because they are desperate for any attention. Some people are trying to learn from their mistakes and let other people know they are not alone. Paulson is the latter.
I am very often wary of anything written by an author about themselves. How can you really trust what they are putting on paper? It is so easy to change your motivation after the fact. I picked up “Highlight Real” because I read Paulson’s second book, “Hey, Hun” first, and I loved it. I wanted to see what set up Paulson to have the epiphanies she had in her second book.
Do I believe Paulson put it all out there? Yes. Totally. She puts it all out there and I know it’s the truth because this is a searing indictment of her actions for years. Yes, she talks about how alcohol was a problem. Yes, she dives into her trauma. However, she doesn’t distance herself from her actions. She was responsible and she knows that. She doesn’t blame the alcohol or the trauma and excuse herself.
I uttered (out loud) quite a few times the opening line to this review. There are many places where you feel the pain and embarrassment of everyone involved. However, that honesty makes you root for Paulson instead of turning on her. Some people write outrageous things because they are desperate for any attention. Some people are trying to learn from their mistakes and let other people know they are not alone. Paulson is the latter.
September 14, 2019
Simply amazing!!
Real, raw, brave, honest and inspiring. Such a gut-wrenching, great read! And fast too!! I could not put it down!
Real, raw, brave, honest and inspiring. Such a gut-wrenching, great read! And fast too!! I could not put it down!
November 16, 2023
Fast-moving and focused, this book slips along a young
woman’s childhood, teen years and early adulthood, fulfilling my first requirement for one star: being interesting.
She details a life of doing well in school, being pretty, and having no real responsibility. School comes easily, and her parents don’t challenge her.
Soon she is drinking, sexually active (though abused) and involved with police.
I won’t ruin her story, but her downfalls were not not dramatic, and her consequences small. It leaves one to wonder if she yet has any idea how much she has hurt her !!!! children born in !!! years.
woman’s childhood, teen years and early adulthood, fulfilling my first requirement for one star: being interesting.
She details a life of doing well in school, being pretty, and having no real responsibility. School comes easily, and her parents don’t challenge her.
Soon she is drinking, sexually active (though abused) and involved with police.
I won’t ruin her story, but her downfalls were not not dramatic, and her consequences small. It leaves one to wonder if she yet has any idea how much she has hurt her !!!! children born in !!! years.
December 15, 2019
The title of this book is pretty misleading. I expected this to be more of a non-fiction book discussing the importance of authenticity and how social media hinders that. This book is essentially the life story of the author. As much as I appreciate her honesty and vulnerability, I wish I would have known that was the entirety of the book before reading it.
September 23, 2023
It was an interesting story, but it seemed to lack a sense of personal responsibility. We do suffer from our trauma, but we are ultimently responsible for how we respond to them.
February 6, 2021
This was such an honest, rich, authentic and vulnerable read of a women’s resilient journey through trauma and addiction and understanding herself. And learning to love herself and give her self grace again. A must read especially for women dealing with motherhood and the stress of life and the critical job of keeping everyone alive happy and healthy including themselves.
September 2, 2019
I was so fortunate to get chosen for the advanced readers for this book which launched today on Amazon! This book was a stunningly BRAVE, heartbreaking but hope-inspiring view of a seemingly perfect woman’s journey through her childhood and adult life trying to deal with the aftermath of a innocence-shattering childhood event and how the prison of our “image” can keep us in feelings we cannot run from.
Emily learns early to compartmentalize, escape, reinvent and self-medicate after significant and repetitive traumas as a child and young woman. And it does seem to work well- her perfectly crafted social media posts surely attest- until the pressures of adult life and the consequences of her seeking escape from her numerous traumas finally catch up with her. But with the love of her family and friends, she finds the courage to break down the walls she had built to hide from her deep pain to find her authentic, present self as an adult woman.
In a world of social media perfection, Emily shines the light on the pitfalls of getting caught up in the highlight reel of a falsified image and to encourage all women to live their authentic lives unapologetically through her grippingly honest account. All women should read this!
Emily learns early to compartmentalize, escape, reinvent and self-medicate after significant and repetitive traumas as a child and young woman. And it does seem to work well- her perfectly crafted social media posts surely attest- until the pressures of adult life and the consequences of her seeking escape from her numerous traumas finally catch up with her. But with the love of her family and friends, she finds the courage to break down the walls she had built to hide from her deep pain to find her authentic, present self as an adult woman.
In a world of social media perfection, Emily shines the light on the pitfalls of getting caught up in the highlight reel of a falsified image and to encourage all women to live their authentic lives unapologetically through her grippingly honest account. All women should read this!
August 10, 2021
I admire Emily for writing her memoir. I love that she was so open in sharing such a difficult traumatic experience along with how she dealt with that over many years (drinking to escape). I felt like I was reading her journal.
I feel sorry for her and so many others who have dealt a traumatic event in their lives. It's hard to imagine that. (I am blessed not to know what that feels like.) She is blessed to have married someone who stood by her through thick and thin.
This book was a bit fluffy. It was like reading People Magazine. Not deep. It was quick read.
I feel sorry for her and so many others who have dealt a traumatic event in their lives. It's hard to imagine that. (I am blessed not to know what that feels like.) She is blessed to have married someone who stood by her through thick and thin.
This book was a bit fluffy. It was like reading People Magazine. Not deep. It was quick read.
September 25, 2019
It was definitely a MUST read!!!
A must read!!! It was touching to my life in so many ways. I can’t thank Emily enough for sharing her story. It makes me want to open up to my story to others as well.
A must read!!! It was touching to my life in so many ways. I can’t thank Emily enough for sharing her story. It makes me want to open up to my story to others as well.
October 15, 2019
I just read this book and it is amazing! Emily’s honesty about what alcoholism looks like is spot on! I felt like I was reading about my own life in many, many ways. She bares her soul and shows us that we all have stuff that we’re ashamed of but when we face it and own it, we can heal!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 29, 2020
Nothing new here. Kudos to author for the hard work of healing, etc. but I didn’t connect with it the way I did other books in this genre. Seemed very superficial.
June 7, 2023
I usually can't read the addiction recovery genre. In the past, I have gone so far as to avoid books I think I would otherwise enjoy if they touch upon that subject. Reading Hey, Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing, I realized something inside of me was resonating with Emily Lynn Paulson. Once I realized what Highlight Real: Finding Honesty & Recovery Beyond the Filtered Life was about, I knew I needed to read it. I did, and I'm glad I did. Emily Lynn Paulson has managed to do something that I'm not sure anyone has done before-- encourage me. I'm a work in progress (aren't we all), and my traumas aren't all Emily Lynn Paulson's. Our paths will sometimes merge, sometimes verge, but I think we're heading towards the same destination. Highlight Real: Finding Honesty & Recovery Beyond the Filtered Life is a slimmer volume than I would've liked, but read in tandem with Hey, Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing you get a much fuller picture.
Thank you, Emily Lynn Paulson, for putting yourself out there. Thank you for showing up and being there for us. Just, thank you.
Thank you, Emily Lynn Paulson, for putting yourself out there. Thank you for showing up and being there for us. Just, thank you.
July 31, 2020
Being a man and in recovery for a year now, I almost past on this book because it was written by a woman. I’m glad I didn’t
From the very beginning of the story, I could relate to many of the writer’s shared experiences despite being a guy. Once I started reading it was hard to stop. She gave great insight on why we do the things we do from, “kinda” like a neuroscience perspective. She talked about the brain and how trauma can affect our brain and our behaviors. It was informative and easy to understand, even for a dead head like me.
The author displays a lot of courage by sharing her poor choices and regrets without too much graphic detail. She keeps it simple which I appreciated. I feel that many will be able to relate to her story, but it’s especially a good read for the ladies and of all ages too.
She shares about partying with drugs and alcohol and an eating disorder all through high school and college, getting into legal trouble, getting married and having kids. When she talked about a losing a friend, I found myself fighting back tears. Eventually her drinking got out of hand again that led to more poor decisions that nearly destroyed her marriage.
Eventually she found her way to AA where she finally found the help and joy she had been searching for.
I highly recommend this book, it was informative and interesting and that’s coming from a guy! LOL
Favorite line in book- When describing Motherhood:
“Every time life threw me a curve ball, I acted like it was a homerun in the making.
But Like a lot of pros, I had my juice to get me through.”
From the very beginning of the story, I could relate to many of the writer’s shared experiences despite being a guy. Once I started reading it was hard to stop. She gave great insight on why we do the things we do from, “kinda” like a neuroscience perspective. She talked about the brain and how trauma can affect our brain and our behaviors. It was informative and easy to understand, even for a dead head like me.
The author displays a lot of courage by sharing her poor choices and regrets without too much graphic detail. She keeps it simple which I appreciated. I feel that many will be able to relate to her story, but it’s especially a good read for the ladies and of all ages too.
She shares about partying with drugs and alcohol and an eating disorder all through high school and college, getting into legal trouble, getting married and having kids. When she talked about a losing a friend, I found myself fighting back tears. Eventually her drinking got out of hand again that led to more poor decisions that nearly destroyed her marriage.
Eventually she found her way to AA where she finally found the help and joy she had been searching for.
I highly recommend this book, it was informative and interesting and that’s coming from a guy! LOL
Favorite line in book- When describing Motherhood:
“Every time life threw me a curve ball, I acted like it was a homerun in the making.
But Like a lot of pros, I had my juice to get me through.”
February 22, 2024
Memoirs are always hard for me to rate because the subject matter is usually traumatic, but I get something from the story. I read the author's "Hey Hun" first, so I had an idea of some of the details, but wow - this is a rough journey.
I'm not an alcoholic, but I grew up with alcoholics. I never had the chance to process and try to heal the trauma from growing up in that type of household, and now they are gone, so I can't. I find myself reading books like this, reading stories of those who have had addictions to try to understand my parents, what it did to me as a child and how I can heal as an adult. This was a very moving story, because even though I didn't develop an addiction to alcohol or drugs, I did suffer some of the issues the author did, and I'm a mom and was a 'stay at home mom' through their growing up years, so I could connect with some of what she has shared here. IT felt real and I felt heard.
I wish the author and her family all the best in the future. And thank you for sharing your story.
I'm not an alcoholic, but I grew up with alcoholics. I never had the chance to process and try to heal the trauma from growing up in that type of household, and now they are gone, so I can't. I find myself reading books like this, reading stories of those who have had addictions to try to understand my parents, what it did to me as a child and how I can heal as an adult. This was a very moving story, because even though I didn't develop an addiction to alcohol or drugs, I did suffer some of the issues the author did, and I'm a mom and was a 'stay at home mom' through their growing up years, so I could connect with some of what she has shared here. IT felt real and I felt heard.
I wish the author and her family all the best in the future. And thank you for sharing your story.
February 24, 2023
“On the other hand, I learned that if you keep trying to throw all that shit into the back seat, it will only smack you in the back of the head when you finally hit the breaks”
I cannot think of a single friend I would not want to recommend this book too. Emily tells her story in a way that not only digs deeper into the trauma that warrants trigger warnings but truly opens your eyes to how blind we can be to what happens behind closed doors with our “social media friends”. Super excited to read her new book Hey Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and The Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing.
I cannot think of a single friend I would not want to recommend this book too. Emily tells her story in a way that not only digs deeper into the trauma that warrants trigger warnings but truly opens your eyes to how blind we can be to what happens behind closed doors with our “social media friends”. Super excited to read her new book Hey Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and The Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing.
August 15, 2023
At age twelve, Emily suffered a trauma that caused her shame and secrecy throughout her life, resulting in a married life with five kids and a perfect look from the outside, while inside she was suffering and medicating with alcohol. Emily's book is honest, though slim, so some of her difficulties are not explained as much as they could be. However, readers who can recognize themselves in her truths will find a connection regardless, and her follow-up book (HEY, HUN) gives more context to a large period of her life. The reader, ultimately, wants her to heal and succeed along with others who were abused or are seeking help.
October 23, 2020
Loved this book. Reading it was so much like reading so much of my own story. I am in the process of writing my own but Emily’s story encouraged me to be 100% open and honest with things I haven’t included yet. I have been sober one month less than her, I wish I would of read this early on in my sobriety journey so I wouldn’t have felt so wrong and alone. I also didn’t correlate the things I did as a youth like lying and exaggerating with all my addictions. So much of her story I related too. It was very inspiring to read.
March 6, 2020
This book is NUTS. I have so much respect & admiration for people who can be so honest. Such courage to share all the behind-the-scenes. Emily’s story... it really is like watching a bad horror movie & yelling at the characters to not open that door. Every time you think it can’t get worse, it gets worse... and then worse.... and then worse.
You’ll feel a full range of emotions hearing/reading her story.
You’ll feel a full range of emotions hearing/reading her story.
December 12, 2023
This book is a shameless plug for the author's life coaching services and also could be summarized as the life of a poor little rich girl. She hasn't been through anything that millions of other women don't go through. I admit that I might be biased by her conduct exploiting women in her MLM role, see her book "Hey, Hun", but I also just find her life and work dominated by manipulativeness and exploitation of other women.
June 9, 2023
Short and compelling, nearly read in 1 sitting (unable to sleep). Read right after hey hun and felt like I would have enjoyed this more if I read it first. Must have taken Emily major courage to share her life story from the beginning - made me really emotional (probably needs a trigger warning or I just didn’t read the summary or marketing materials)
June 23, 2023
I loved this book. It was a quick read and kept my attention. I would give it 4.5 stars but bumping it to 5. Emily really details her struggles in life without giving excuses. She takes accountability for her actions. She is an encouraging example of how to confront your “demons” and come out on the other side.
November 19, 2023
It was a good book but the title was a little misleading. I was expecting the book to be more about social media addiction but instead we got a look at how trauma repeats itself throughout life and the way addiction can slip in without someone realizing it. Wasn't what I expected when I bought this book, but I don't regret it
January 20, 2024
A quick read, but laden with bits of research inside the memoir of trauma and addiction. I didn’t feel it was quite as engaging as her second book, but I still appreciate the author’s willingness to show all the ugly with minimal excuses. She’s a brave soul and as an adult child of an alcoholic myself, I hope her newfound sobriety continues to bring her peace.
January 28, 2024
This is the perfect companion novel to Paulson's other non-fic, Hey, Hun. This one goes into Paulson's struggles with multiple traumas & addictions, along with how she recovered. It is an incredibly brave, raw & honest portrayal of extremely heavy topics. Trigger warnings galore, please check before reading. For those who enjoyed Hey, Hun I HIGHLY recommend this debut novel!
February 1, 2024
I picked this up because I loved this authors Hey Hun memoir about her life in, and escaping, an MLM. I thought this book would be less memoir and more about the dangers or social media or mommy blogging? It was not that and that’s my fault for not looking into what I was listening to beforehand. Just didn’t connect with me, but was a quick listen.
February 25, 2024
I read Emily Lynn Paulson’s second book, Hey Hun. This fall, so I was excited to go back and check out her first book, Highlight reel.
Wow! I learned a lot about her life and the struggles with addiction & being a pathological liar. I super appreciated her rawness in this book and I would recommend it.
Wow! I learned a lot about her life and the struggles with addiction & being a pathological liar. I super appreciated her rawness in this book and I would recommend it.
April 9, 2020
Absolutely loved this book. I started my journey towards living alcohol free almost seven months ago and have read a ton of "quit lit". Highlight Real is definitely on the top of my recommended list. Emily's raw and realness is portrayed through the entire book and she is relatable.
May 17, 2020
Really identified with author, who struggled with not only alcohol but also trauma from rape, bulimia, perfectionism, and codependency. She inspired me to keep going, despite setbacks, and that healing is possible.
March 27, 2020
Fantastic read!! I highly recommend reading Emily's book! Thank you again for sharing your story Emily!
May 11, 2020
Great read! Touching, honest and raw! Finished it in one night. Highly recommended and have already given it to others to read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews