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I’m Not Yelling: A Black Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Workplace
"What a gift to Black women in the workplace!…For those committed to challenging stereotypes and enhancing workplace inclusion, this book is a must-read." — Dana Brownlee , Forbes Careers senior contributor #1 Best Seller in Women & Business and Business Etiquette I'm Not Yelling is a strategy guide empowering Black businesswomen to combat workplace discrimination, redefine workplace culture, and find their voices in toxic work environments.
Navigate corporate America fearlessly. Explore the data and hear the accounts of Black women in business who face, work through, and rise above workplace discrimination. This book offers a blueprint for Black women in business to tackle a toxic work environment and assert their rightful place. Facing obstacles such as imposter syndrome and structural racism, I'm Not Yelling arms you with the knowledge and strategy needed to succeed in the face of adversity.
Become a strong Black leader and instill positive change in the workplace culture. I'm Not Yelling is your guide to understanding and implementing changes in human resource management that promote diversity and inclusion. Celebrate the significance of Black History Month, define racism in its subtle and overt forms, and emerge as a beacon of strength and resilience.
Inside
If you have read books like Black Women Will Save the World , We Should All Be Millionaires , The Light We Carry , White Women , or Your Next Level Life , then you’ll love I'm Not A Black Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Workplace .
Navigate corporate America fearlessly. Explore the data and hear the accounts of Black women in business who face, work through, and rise above workplace discrimination. This book offers a blueprint for Black women in business to tackle a toxic work environment and assert their rightful place. Facing obstacles such as imposter syndrome and structural racism, I'm Not Yelling arms you with the knowledge and strategy needed to succeed in the face of adversity.
Become a strong Black leader and instill positive change in the workplace culture. I'm Not Yelling is your guide to understanding and implementing changes in human resource management that promote diversity and inclusion. Celebrate the significance of Black History Month, define racism in its subtle and overt forms, and emerge as a beacon of strength and resilience.
Inside
If you have read books like Black Women Will Save the World , We Should All Be Millionaires , The Light We Carry , White Women , or Your Next Level Life , then you’ll love I'm Not A Black Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Workplace .
216 pages, Paperback
Published December 13, 2022
About the author
Elizabeth Leiba
7 books26 followersElizabeth Leiba is a writer, college professor, and advocate for Black business women. She has over 100,000 followers on LinkedIn who range in age, race, background, and location, and are primarily located in the US, Canada, and the UK.
Her passion for Black history changed her life and catapulted her into a fulfilling line of work as a powerful advocate of social justice and equity for Black women, especially Black business women. Elizabeth strives to create resources which support, empower, and amplify Black business women and their businesses.
She was featured in the 2020 New York Times article,“Black LinkedIn Is Thriving. Does LinkedIn Have a Problem With That?,” which highlighted her social justice advocacy work. The response to this article spurred her to launch her online, accessible e-learning platform, Black History & Culture Academy, the stunning educational resource which earned her the recognition of a LinkedIn TOP VOICE in Education in 2020.
She is also the host of Black Power Moves, a podcast on EBONY Media Covering Black America Podcast Network and is a published writer. Her most recent writing includes an Op-Ed piece on racial profiling for CNN, which had more than 2 million views on their news website.
In early 2022, Elizabeth launched her website directory, Black Women Handle Business, which is the premier website for Black women entrepreneurs and professionals to network, collaborate and share resources.
Her passion for Black history changed her life and catapulted her into a fulfilling line of work as a powerful advocate of social justice and equity for Black women, especially Black business women. Elizabeth strives to create resources which support, empower, and amplify Black business women and their businesses.
She was featured in the 2020 New York Times article,“Black LinkedIn Is Thriving. Does LinkedIn Have a Problem With That?,” which highlighted her social justice advocacy work. The response to this article spurred her to launch her online, accessible e-learning platform, Black History & Culture Academy, the stunning educational resource which earned her the recognition of a LinkedIn TOP VOICE in Education in 2020.
She is also the host of Black Power Moves, a podcast on EBONY Media Covering Black America Podcast Network and is a published writer. Her most recent writing includes an Op-Ed piece on racial profiling for CNN, which had more than 2 million views on their news website.
In early 2022, Elizabeth launched her website directory, Black Women Handle Business, which is the premier website for Black women entrepreneurs and professionals to network, collaborate and share resources.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
August 27, 2023
Welp. I wanted to love this. I really did. This is completely in line with my interests and so much of what I read. So when it came in from the library, I snapped it up, despite already having three other books out ahead of it.
But I did not love it. I struggled with this very much.
First, let's get what I DID like out of the way. Because I don't want it to seem like I'm saying this isn't a good book. I think the concept and themes and general idea of what Leiba is writing about here is important and necessary. And even though I'm not the target audience for it, I am still interested in learning and educating myself on ways that I can be more anti-racist and aware of these things. So I can be a more supportive co-worker, friend, ally, sponsor, etc. These things are important to me, so I read books like this to educate myself and UNLEARN as many racially biased thoughts as I can - like the kneejerk reaction of certain hairstyles being "unprofessional", for example. This kind of thing is ingrained in society's concept of "professionalism" and what "appropriate" workplace attire is, etc. And of course it's designed to ensure that certain kinds of people are kept down and in their place.
So yes. I am glad that this book exists, and I think the message that it conveys, overall, is a good one. I am fully on board with being who you are, in appearance and style and affectation, etc. Everyone should be able to live confidently and openly and not having to conform or adjust to a set of societal expectations that were designed to exclude and diminish you for something entirely outside of your control, like the color of your skin or the texture of your hair, etc. I learned quite a lot, and at the very least can be more aware of how I engage with my own coworkers and friends to not inadvertently cause harm out of ignorance.
I wish I could leave this review at that, but that's not how I roll. I always review books with my full and honest opinion. So let's get into what I didn't like.
I said before that this book wasn't for me, meaning that I'm not the target audience. But this book also wasn't for me in that it's the kind of "self-help" "motivational" book that just isn't for me. (Had I known this, I probably still would have read it, but likely would have tuned out the parts that don't work for me, instead of fixating on them.) Full of buzzwords and pseudo-meaningful phrases intended to be empowering and insightful, meaningful and honest... but the amount of overuse of them ends up feeling calculated to me because these buzzwords SOUND empowering and insightful and meaningful and honest, instead of BEING those things. To me, using one's own words instead of industry or societal buzzwords will always feel more honest.
It was the buzzphrase equivalent of when you look at a word too long and it loses all meaning.
For example, I listened to this entire audiobook, some parts of it more than once (for reasons I'll get to), and I don't know what "walk in my power" means anymore. BEFORE I listened to this, I understood it, or at least felt like I understood what was being conveyed by it. But WHILE listening to this... it lost all meaning.
Why walk? Why not sit? Why not stand? Why not dance or live or be? What is the significance of WALKING vs any other action? It was always, ALWAYS "walk". And so MY brain starts overanalyzing it. Picturing it as a yellow brick road-style path. Or maybe it's intended to be a sort of glowy aura that follows the walker, rather than a path that the walker must take? But why is one's power something they must WALK in? Is it not something inherent in them no matter what they are doing? Something that they can CHOOSE to express or exert or display, or choose NOT to should they decide that? Or is it more like an assistance device, maybe a pair of glasses or contacts, that allows interaction with the world?
The amount of times this was repeated throughout the book kept snagging my attention and focus and then we ended up down the aforementioned rabbit hole. Which was less than ideal.
Same with "I Belong in Every Space I Inhabit/Exist In". Like, I GET IT, and it's good to drive the point home with a few repetitions. But there were multiple times that this phrase was repeated several times within a few sentences. It was just... a lot.
Part of the problem is that this seems like it was a bunch of articles, or more likely social media posts, which were then compiled into this book. The overlap between them led to SO MUCH of this repetitiveness. I really wish that this had been edited AS A WHOLE BOOK, specifically looking for that kind of thing. I had this exact same criticism of “You Just Need to Lose Weight”: And 19 Other Myths About Fat People, which suffered from the same issue. While I'm always happy that someone is able to transfer their content into book form, I do wish that it was TREATED like a whole book.
Anyway, let's move on. I think I've kicked that horse enough times now. (POINTED LOOK AT BOOK.)
The audiobook reader was TERRIBLE. The word that kept coming to mind for me while I was listening tot his was "mushy". Words would lose syllables, or run together, or just kind of get jumbled up, and OMG her pronunciations are so bad. This is definitely a case where I would have preferred the author to just read her own book.
"Aggregate" pronounced as "agree-jate" and "unenviable" as "unviable".
"Rapport" was said as "ra-port".
"Protege" was "protege" once, then "protezay" the very next time.
There were SO many examples that had I stopped to list or note them all, this 6 hour audiobook would have taken me a month to get through. As it was, I already had to relisten to sections over and over to try to figure out the words or names that were being said. And somehow, this only got WORSE when I tried to slow the audio down from my normal listening speed. I think my brain is so used to bridging some gaps at the speed that I listen, that when I tried to slow it down, it made the awkwardness of the reading style unbridgeable. It was really bad. Another audiobook reader on my "never" list.
SIGH.
Anyway. I wish I could rate this higher. I think had this been better edited and formatted as a whole book, cutting out a lot of the repetitions and buzzwordiness, it would have worked much better for me. (Also, if the reader had been... not this one.)
But as this book isn't FOR me, take my opinion with a grain of salt. Almost every other review of this is extremely positive. I loved the idea and concepts here, but the delivery left a lot to be desired for me. Maybe read it in book form?
But I did not love it. I struggled with this very much.
First, let's get what I DID like out of the way. Because I don't want it to seem like I'm saying this isn't a good book. I think the concept and themes and general idea of what Leiba is writing about here is important and necessary. And even though I'm not the target audience for it, I am still interested in learning and educating myself on ways that I can be more anti-racist and aware of these things. So I can be a more supportive co-worker, friend, ally, sponsor, etc. These things are important to me, so I read books like this to educate myself and UNLEARN as many racially biased thoughts as I can - like the kneejerk reaction of certain hairstyles being "unprofessional", for example. This kind of thing is ingrained in society's concept of "professionalism" and what "appropriate" workplace attire is, etc. And of course it's designed to ensure that certain kinds of people are kept down and in their place.
So yes. I am glad that this book exists, and I think the message that it conveys, overall, is a good one. I am fully on board with being who you are, in appearance and style and affectation, etc. Everyone should be able to live confidently and openly and not having to conform or adjust to a set of societal expectations that were designed to exclude and diminish you for something entirely outside of your control, like the color of your skin or the texture of your hair, etc. I learned quite a lot, and at the very least can be more aware of how I engage with my own coworkers and friends to not inadvertently cause harm out of ignorance.
I wish I could leave this review at that, but that's not how I roll. I always review books with my full and honest opinion. So let's get into what I didn't like.
I said before that this book wasn't for me, meaning that I'm not the target audience. But this book also wasn't for me in that it's the kind of "self-help" "motivational" book that just isn't for me. (Had I known this, I probably still would have read it, but likely would have tuned out the parts that don't work for me, instead of fixating on them.) Full of buzzwords and pseudo-meaningful phrases intended to be empowering and insightful, meaningful and honest... but the amount of overuse of them ends up feeling calculated to me because these buzzwords SOUND empowering and insightful and meaningful and honest, instead of BEING those things. To me, using one's own words instead of industry or societal buzzwords will always feel more honest.
It was the buzzphrase equivalent of when you look at a word too long and it loses all meaning.
For example, I listened to this entire audiobook, some parts of it more than once (for reasons I'll get to), and I don't know what "walk in my power" means anymore. BEFORE I listened to this, I understood it, or at least felt like I understood what was being conveyed by it. But WHILE listening to this... it lost all meaning.
Why walk? Why not sit? Why not stand? Why not dance or live or be? What is the significance of WALKING vs any other action? It was always, ALWAYS "walk". And so MY brain starts overanalyzing it. Picturing it as a yellow brick road-style path. Or maybe it's intended to be a sort of glowy aura that follows the walker, rather than a path that the walker must take? But why is one's power something they must WALK in? Is it not something inherent in them no matter what they are doing? Something that they can CHOOSE to express or exert or display, or choose NOT to should they decide that? Or is it more like an assistance device, maybe a pair of glasses or contacts, that allows interaction with the world?
The amount of times this was repeated throughout the book kept snagging my attention and focus and then we ended up down the aforementioned rabbit hole. Which was less than ideal.
Same with "I Belong in Every Space I Inhabit/Exist In". Like, I GET IT, and it's good to drive the point home with a few repetitions. But there were multiple times that this phrase was repeated several times within a few sentences. It was just... a lot.
Part of the problem is that this seems like it was a bunch of articles, or more likely social media posts, which were then compiled into this book. The overlap between them led to SO MUCH of this repetitiveness. I really wish that this had been edited AS A WHOLE BOOK, specifically looking for that kind of thing. I had this exact same criticism of “You Just Need to Lose Weight”: And 19 Other Myths About Fat People, which suffered from the same issue. While I'm always happy that someone is able to transfer their content into book form, I do wish that it was TREATED like a whole book.
Anyway, let's move on. I think I've kicked that horse enough times now. (POINTED LOOK AT BOOK.)
The audiobook reader was TERRIBLE. The word that kept coming to mind for me while I was listening tot his was "mushy". Words would lose syllables, or run together, or just kind of get jumbled up, and OMG her pronunciations are so bad. This is definitely a case where I would have preferred the author to just read her own book.
"Aggregate" pronounced as "agree-jate" and "unenviable" as "unviable".
"Rapport" was said as "ra-port".
"Protege" was "protege" once, then "protezay" the very next time.
There were SO many examples that had I stopped to list or note them all, this 6 hour audiobook would have taken me a month to get through. As it was, I already had to relisten to sections over and over to try to figure out the words or names that were being said. And somehow, this only got WORSE when I tried to slow the audio down from my normal listening speed. I think my brain is so used to bridging some gaps at the speed that I listen, that when I tried to slow it down, it made the awkwardness of the reading style unbridgeable. It was really bad. Another audiobook reader on my "never" list.
SIGH.
Anyway. I wish I could rate this higher. I think had this been better edited and formatted as a whole book, cutting out a lot of the repetitions and buzzwordiness, it would have worked much better for me. (Also, if the reader had been... not this one.)
But as this book isn't FOR me, take my opinion with a grain of salt. Almost every other review of this is extremely positive. I loved the idea and concepts here, but the delivery left a lot to be desired for me. Maybe read it in book form?
March 20, 2023
This book is so important to read as it gently reminds us that we are not alone on our journey. We, as Black women, might be the only ones that look like us at our company/organization; however, there’s an entire community having the same experience with micro aggressions, stereotypes, etc. that we can lean on. I’m Not Yelling stresses the importance of finding your voice and being one’s own advocate.
This book is also important if you’re a person that is truly committed to being an ally. It will allow you to identify behaviors which contradict the goal of achieving equality and inclusion.
I’m Not Yelling is a book I highly recommend.
This book is also important if you’re a person that is truly committed to being an ally. It will allow you to identify behaviors which contradict the goal of achieving equality and inclusion.
I’m Not Yelling is a book I highly recommend.
March 2, 2023
Read this book for a workplace book club and it was seriously packed with information.
It was really enlightening about various things black women experience not just in life but within the workplace. Gave me some great ideas on how I can be a better ally in the workplace.
It was really enlightening about various things black women experience not just in life but within the workplace. Gave me some great ideas on how I can be a better ally in the workplace.
December 30, 2022
Liz Leiba is an international treasure. From being born in the UK to navigating life in America as a Black Woman to code switching to finally being herself and seeing her star sky rocket, she is an inspiration.
i'm not yelling is a book written from the heart by someone that knows that in society today you have to backup everything you do and have three contingency plans just in case.
i'm not yelling evokes every possible emotion but if there is one that stands out for me it is pride. I have pride because it is only when Liz takes off the mask that so many Black Women are forced to wear by society that she discovers she is loved for exactly who she is.
The greatest compliment I can pay is to say that i'm not yelling will be sitting on my bookshelf and when my daughters get older, it will be required reading for them.
I encourage anyone out there to read this book with an open mind and open heart because it will change you.
I can't wait for her next one.
i'm not yelling is a book written from the heart by someone that knows that in society today you have to backup everything you do and have three contingency plans just in case.
i'm not yelling evokes every possible emotion but if there is one that stands out for me it is pride. I have pride because it is only when Liz takes off the mask that so many Black Women are forced to wear by society that she discovers she is loved for exactly who she is.
The greatest compliment I can pay is to say that i'm not yelling will be sitting on my bookshelf and when my daughters get older, it will be required reading for them.
I encourage anyone out there to read this book with an open mind and open heart because it will change you.
I can't wait for her next one.
June 7, 2023
There was some good information in this book. Loved the affirmations given, as well as the questions to ask yourself. This was a great start to understanding that your voice matters in the workplace. I just wish it was more information regarding how to be the advocate for yourself in the workplace while not feeling like you have an "angry black woman" sticker on your forehead.
August 24, 2024
So Timely & Necessary!!
“I’m Not Yelling: A Guide to Navigating the Workplace” by Elizabeth Leiba is a must-have for Black women like me who often feel out of place at work. This book touched me deeply, making me feel genuinely seen and understood
as it showed that others share similar struggles.
Leiba provides invaluable, practical advice for navigating tough work situations, whether you decide to stay and thrive or pursue happiness elsewhere. The book highlights the importance of understanding your purpose, staying
true to yourself, and boldly standing up for what’s right. It’s essential for anyone who wants to fully grasp the unique challenges Black women face in the workplace and learn how to support ourselves and each other effectively.
Leiba dives into difficult topics such as microaggressions, imposter syndrome, and hair discrimination, offering reflection questions and affirmations that encourage personal growth and empowerment. As a Black woman seeking validation, I found this book profoundly valuable.
Although primarily aimed at Black women, this book is also incredibly important for white women who aspire to be genuine allies. Leiba skillfully combines credible sources with personal experiences to reveal the daily racism
Black women endure, making it indispensable for anyone serious about combating racism. It reassures readers they are not alone and emphasizes the vital importance of finding your voice and advocating for yourself.
In essence, this book is more than just a guide; it’s a powerful tool for allies. It helps identify and address behaviors that undermine equality and inclusion, making it crucial in the ongoing fight for justice
“I’m Not Yelling: A Guide to Navigating the Workplace” by Elizabeth Leiba is a must-have for Black women like me who often feel out of place at work. This book touched me deeply, making me feel genuinely seen and understood
as it showed that others share similar struggles.
Leiba provides invaluable, practical advice for navigating tough work situations, whether you decide to stay and thrive or pursue happiness elsewhere. The book highlights the importance of understanding your purpose, staying
true to yourself, and boldly standing up for what’s right. It’s essential for anyone who wants to fully grasp the unique challenges Black women face in the workplace and learn how to support ourselves and each other effectively.
Leiba dives into difficult topics such as microaggressions, imposter syndrome, and hair discrimination, offering reflection questions and affirmations that encourage personal growth and empowerment. As a Black woman seeking validation, I found this book profoundly valuable.
Although primarily aimed at Black women, this book is also incredibly important for white women who aspire to be genuine allies. Leiba skillfully combines credible sources with personal experiences to reveal the daily racism
Black women endure, making it indispensable for anyone serious about combating racism. It reassures readers they are not alone and emphasizes the vital importance of finding your voice and advocating for yourself.
In essence, this book is more than just a guide; it’s a powerful tool for allies. It helps identify and address behaviors that undermine equality and inclusion, making it crucial in the ongoing fight for justice
April 3, 2023
The statistics provided in this book were a wonderful addition to the information the author attempts to provide.
I thought this book would provide a more coherent story as to why Black women feel as if we are yelling, when we are not. Ms. Leiba did touch on this topic approximately half-way into the book when she notes that imposter syndrome is not particularly applicable when bias, systemic racism and micro-aggressions are imparted on someone. As someone who does not believe in imposter syndrome, I agree with her assessment. That says, later in the book she questions whether another storyteller feels imposter syndrome.
I think the affirmations are useful, but what I think is most important is to ask yourself why on a weekly basis, instead of waiting until you hit a point of crisis. The murder of George Floyd was Ms. Leiba's point of inflection and she invokes it throughout the book. I struggled to understand why it took her so long to see how the system she was trying to conform to, nearly became her undoing. I posit all Black women and women of color take some time every week to assess how they are doing and what they are doing BEFORE a break point.
Lastly, her over- generalization of Caribbean parents is sad. I am a child of immigrants and I was not taught to submit, assimilate, be quiet or fit in. Our stories are individual and while parents from the Caribbean are strict, there are reasons, but not all want their children to blend in to rise up in their lives and the world.
Like any book, we all will take what we can, but I challenge Black women to always check themselves and feed their needs and wants first before putting others before us .
I thought this book would provide a more coherent story as to why Black women feel as if we are yelling, when we are not. Ms. Leiba did touch on this topic approximately half-way into the book when she notes that imposter syndrome is not particularly applicable when bias, systemic racism and micro-aggressions are imparted on someone. As someone who does not believe in imposter syndrome, I agree with her assessment. That says, later in the book she questions whether another storyteller feels imposter syndrome.
I think the affirmations are useful, but what I think is most important is to ask yourself why on a weekly basis, instead of waiting until you hit a point of crisis. The murder of George Floyd was Ms. Leiba's point of inflection and she invokes it throughout the book. I struggled to understand why it took her so long to see how the system she was trying to conform to, nearly became her undoing. I posit all Black women and women of color take some time every week to assess how they are doing and what they are doing BEFORE a break point.
Lastly, her over- generalization of Caribbean parents is sad. I am a child of immigrants and I was not taught to submit, assimilate, be quiet or fit in. Our stories are individual and while parents from the Caribbean are strict, there are reasons, but not all want their children to blend in to rise up in their lives and the world.
Like any book, we all will take what we can, but I challenge Black women to always check themselves and feed their needs and wants first before putting others before us .
August 22, 2023
Must read for any African American female in the workforce!
February 7, 2024
I loved this book! I felt so seen and heard. Like are you in my head! So much to think about!
March 29, 2024
I want to acknowledge before writing this review that I am not a black women. I have not faced the injustices that many black women face everyday nor will I. This was a compelling book that describes how Elizabeth Leiba navigated being a black woman in the corporate world and her struggles living in a world that tries to diminish her qualities because of her race. Not just that but she tells of situations where she was discriminated against because she was black. Specifically when she was arrested for stealing a $2 pack of batteries from a store in her college town’s mall (she couldn’t find the receipt during the accusation but after she was released from jail she then found it. She went on to file a lawsuit against the store and won). It’s absurd to realize this is what everyday is like for many black women having to handle racial and gender discrimination. Throughout this book Leiba conveys the stereotype that black women tend to yell in certain situations is false and a way to silence their voices. Leiba encourages black women to build their confidence to “speak their truth” in order to become one’s authentic self. And with the help of social media Leiba has been able to reach an audience of more than 100,000 people. Because of this she has been able to uplift black women and speak on her professional life such as battling micro aggressions and individuals not viewing her as qualified, even though she is well educated.
I could continue with my review however I feel Leiba speaks for herself. I can not emphasize enough how important it is for everyone to read this book. This is an eye-opening book that details the struggles of black women navigating the corporate world. It puts into perspective various topics of work based discrimination but also detailing personal experiences and also providing a guide to help other black women find their voices. Even if you don’t take anything away from this book you should take away the fact that whenever you’re at work and in room with many people to make sure that black women’s voices are heard and if people are speaking over allow them to find the power to speak up for themselves but if they don’t try to be a supportive coworker because it can help build their confidence in knowing they have an ally.
I could continue with my review however I feel Leiba speaks for herself. I can not emphasize enough how important it is for everyone to read this book. This is an eye-opening book that details the struggles of black women navigating the corporate world. It puts into perspective various topics of work based discrimination but also detailing personal experiences and also providing a guide to help other black women find their voices. Even if you don’t take anything away from this book you should take away the fact that whenever you’re at work and in room with many people to make sure that black women’s voices are heard and if people are speaking over allow them to find the power to speak up for themselves but if they don’t try to be a supportive coworker because it can help build their confidence in knowing they have an ally.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 29, 2023
A must read for Black woman who are questioning the spaces they find themselves uncomfortable in. There are strategies and discussions that will help take inventory on how you can move in or out of those spaces and find your joy. Finding one's voice is par for the journey to personal happiness.
December 25, 2023
“I’m Not Yelling: A Black Woman’s Guide to Navigating the Workplace” is a nonfiction book focusing on helping black women find their voice in a predominantly white corporate America workplace.
The book consists of a foreword, introduction, eight chapters, a conclusion, and a blurb about the author.
In the foreword, activist, writer, and speaker Lisa Hurley shares her personal experience with being asked “Why are you yelling?” and the cloaked meaning of this phrase including why does a black woman choose to speak up, hold ground, or hold others accountable? Hurley also writes of how she became friends with author Elizabeth Leiba during the COVID-19 pandemic via LinkedIn since they are both Black women with Caribbean roots, have professional qualifications on top of qualifications as well as a shared strong social justice streak.
In the introduction, Leiba that as a black British child of Jamaican immigrants in South Florida, she decided to become the class clown in order to survive rather than being made fun of by classmates. As an adult, Leiba silences her voice and personality to be accepted by those in professional work environments however after viewing the murder of George Floyd in 2020, she decides to present her authentic self personally and professionally. This book is meant to help the reader to learn the strength of their own story, learn the difference between imposter syndrome and a trauma response, find their real voice and be able to clearly articulate the value they bring to the workplace.
In chapter one, “How It Began,” Leiba starts the chapter by asking the reader to think about who they are at their core. Leiba introduces “Angela” her code-switching persona she used to assimilate into her work environments. By being Angela, she spends hours before working made her appearance and behavior “acceptable” to stay safe in her job. As I read this chapter, it was shocking to learn that Black women were paid sixty-three percent less of what non-Hispanic white men were paid in 2019 and that it takes the typical Black women nineteen months to be paid what the average white man earns in twelve months.
In chapter two, “Finding Your Voice,” Leiba uses her personal role model, author Maya Angelou to show how Angelou used childhood trauma to speak her truth and create a legacy of freedom for herself and others. As the chapter progresses, Leiba encourages the reader to reclaim our voice by correcting others when their words are misinterpreted or create a false narrative using own words against us. Leiba uses examples of prominent Black women such as Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama and Beyoncé to show how by telling their stories and revealing their successes and failures, this lead resonating with others, drawing more attention, empowering others. Trying to appeal to everyone leads to appealing to no one.
In chapter three, “Imposter Syndrome or Imposter Treatment,” Leiba begins by defining the term “imposter syndrome” as well as highlighting that even famous women such as former First Lady, Michelle Obama experiences imposter syndrome at times. As the chapter progresses, Leiba introduces the term “imposter treatment” which is defined as being professionally accomplished yet being treated liked a fraud from sources outside of yourself. It was fascinating to read how imposter feelings are more likely to occur when entering spaces where most of the people do not look like you. Likewise, lack of representation, less pay, and lack of role models can lead to imposter feelings for Black professional women. Reading this chapter encouraged me to carry myself with a persona of belonging and know that I have the skills needed to take up space in professional environments regardless of whether or not there are other black people there.
In chapter four, “Code-Switching and Other Exhausting Behavior,” Leiba defines how code-switching as switching from one language to that of another since being one’s authentic self could be viewed as unprofessional. Sadly, Black children are taught at an early age to speak flawless English, not laugh loudly, and not use hand gestures to be more acceptable in predominantly white spaces. As I continued to read this chapter, I became aware of the unconscious ways I have been doing code-switching behaviors such as working through lunch or breaks and not talking to animatedly during conversations. To some, there is an expectation of Black people to adopt the speech, dress, and behavior of the majority culture but there is not logical reason provided for why this is.
In chapter five, “Afros, Locs, Twists, and Braids-The Politics of Natural Hair,” Leiba shares her personal experience of feeling judged and viewed as unprofessional due to wearing her hair in an Afro versus a more refined bun to a job interview. It was interesting to learn of the tigon law in 1786 that forced Black women to wear a tignon headscarf due to white women feeling threatened by lighter skinned white women as romantic competitors. Bias against black women with natural hairstyles still exists and thankfully, the CROWN (Create a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair) Act was created to prevent discrimination against those who choose to wear natural hairstyles in the workplace.
In chapter six, “I’m Not Yelling-The Psychology of Microaggressions,” Leiba shares how reprimanding a coworker speaking over her which led to her feeling that her coworkers weren’t respecting her. Some microagressions are highlighted such as saying such phrases as “you’re so articulate,” someone asking about your background to quantify your ability to weigh in on a conversation, someone thinking you’re the receptionist when you are the director of the department, or expressing a belief that race doesn’t make a difference in success in life. Leiba implies that the term “microagressions” is downplaying its long-term impacts on individuals as well as the whole business. It was interesting to read how many Black professionals were hesitant to run to the office following the COVID-19 pandemic after a long break of microagressions, conforming to dress codes, natural hair discrimination, and daily code-switching. Leiba encourages the reader to address microagressions immediately as a way to create a teachable moment, regardless of if the behavior makes you feel uncomfortable.
In chapter seven, “Opening the Door-Mentorship, Sponsorship, and Sisterhood,” Leiba shares how although she personally has not had a mentor, by interviewing dozens of Black women, she is able to learn the importance of mentorship and sponsorship. Through this chapter, I learned about the difference between mentorship and sponsorship which is a mentor is an individual who gives you through a specific career, goal, or even life while sponsor acts as brand manager and publicist for their protégé. For a mentor, Leiba directs readers to have a mentor who’s been who you are as well as multiple people who are experts in different fields. In addition, as a woman, Leiba says it’s vital to have a woman mentor since men and women process things differently. It was interesting to learn about sponsorship and the ABCD of Sponsorship including amplifying, boosting, connecting, and defending a protégé. Look outside of traditional places to find mentors such as through social groups as well as virtually through social media platforms. Mentorship can be more successful when you stop viewing it as formal and transactional and focus on creating natural authentic relationships based on mutual trust and understanding. Leiba recommends the reader have mentors of different races and gender since they can use their privilege to help advance your career and support you in your goals.
In chapter eight, “A Seat At The Table Or Building Your Own Empire,” Leiba shares her experience of realizing that once she had a seat at the table, it was too small to hold her ambitions. Likewise, Leiba highlights the importance of knowing what you have to bring to the corporate table and introduces the terms “the Black Ceiling” which refers to the highest level Blacks can obtain in corporate positions. We’re more than worthy. Black women should stop asking if we belong in a white space and start asking does this space recognize our contributions and deserve our presence. It’s not Black women’s job to heal predominantly white spaces. We are not required to stay in places that are unhealthy physically, mentally, and emotionally and should be treated as stops along the way, not our final destination.
In the conclusion, Leiba encourages reader to discover their why, think of how it fits into their personal narrative, and use their voice to reflect who they authentically are. Although it may get hard, Leiba directs the reader to embrace every opportunity that comes their way and develop a community of support to bolster the Black women to help her thrive in predominantly white workplaces while being their most authentic self.
As I finished reading the book, I liked how each chapter begins with a quote which directly ties to the chapter. I appreciated the depth of research Leiba presents throughout the book regarding the regarding black men, women, and children. I felt enlightened by the reflection questions provided in each chapter as well as encouraged by the positive affirmations for the reader to use in their daily lives. Although Leiba puts the primary focus on black women working in corporate workplaces, the knowledge she shares throughout the book makes this a must read for all black women, regardless of where they work to act as a literary support system.
The book consists of a foreword, introduction, eight chapters, a conclusion, and a blurb about the author.
In the foreword, activist, writer, and speaker Lisa Hurley shares her personal experience with being asked “Why are you yelling?” and the cloaked meaning of this phrase including why does a black woman choose to speak up, hold ground, or hold others accountable? Hurley also writes of how she became friends with author Elizabeth Leiba during the COVID-19 pandemic via LinkedIn since they are both Black women with Caribbean roots, have professional qualifications on top of qualifications as well as a shared strong social justice streak.
In the introduction, Leiba that as a black British child of Jamaican immigrants in South Florida, she decided to become the class clown in order to survive rather than being made fun of by classmates. As an adult, Leiba silences her voice and personality to be accepted by those in professional work environments however after viewing the murder of George Floyd in 2020, she decides to present her authentic self personally and professionally. This book is meant to help the reader to learn the strength of their own story, learn the difference between imposter syndrome and a trauma response, find their real voice and be able to clearly articulate the value they bring to the workplace.
In chapter one, “How It Began,” Leiba starts the chapter by asking the reader to think about who they are at their core. Leiba introduces “Angela” her code-switching persona she used to assimilate into her work environments. By being Angela, she spends hours before working made her appearance and behavior “acceptable” to stay safe in her job. As I read this chapter, it was shocking to learn that Black women were paid sixty-three percent less of what non-Hispanic white men were paid in 2019 and that it takes the typical Black women nineteen months to be paid what the average white man earns in twelve months.
In chapter two, “Finding Your Voice,” Leiba uses her personal role model, author Maya Angelou to show how Angelou used childhood trauma to speak her truth and create a legacy of freedom for herself and others. As the chapter progresses, Leiba encourages the reader to reclaim our voice by correcting others when their words are misinterpreted or create a false narrative using own words against us. Leiba uses examples of prominent Black women such as Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, Oprah Winfrey, Michelle Obama and Beyoncé to show how by telling their stories and revealing their successes and failures, this lead resonating with others, drawing more attention, empowering others. Trying to appeal to everyone leads to appealing to no one.
In chapter three, “Imposter Syndrome or Imposter Treatment,” Leiba begins by defining the term “imposter syndrome” as well as highlighting that even famous women such as former First Lady, Michelle Obama experiences imposter syndrome at times. As the chapter progresses, Leiba introduces the term “imposter treatment” which is defined as being professionally accomplished yet being treated liked a fraud from sources outside of yourself. It was fascinating to read how imposter feelings are more likely to occur when entering spaces where most of the people do not look like you. Likewise, lack of representation, less pay, and lack of role models can lead to imposter feelings for Black professional women. Reading this chapter encouraged me to carry myself with a persona of belonging and know that I have the skills needed to take up space in professional environments regardless of whether or not there are other black people there.
In chapter four, “Code-Switching and Other Exhausting Behavior,” Leiba defines how code-switching as switching from one language to that of another since being one’s authentic self could be viewed as unprofessional. Sadly, Black children are taught at an early age to speak flawless English, not laugh loudly, and not use hand gestures to be more acceptable in predominantly white spaces. As I continued to read this chapter, I became aware of the unconscious ways I have been doing code-switching behaviors such as working through lunch or breaks and not talking to animatedly during conversations. To some, there is an expectation of Black people to adopt the speech, dress, and behavior of the majority culture but there is not logical reason provided for why this is.
In chapter five, “Afros, Locs, Twists, and Braids-The Politics of Natural Hair,” Leiba shares her personal experience of feeling judged and viewed as unprofessional due to wearing her hair in an Afro versus a more refined bun to a job interview. It was interesting to learn of the tigon law in 1786 that forced Black women to wear a tignon headscarf due to white women feeling threatened by lighter skinned white women as romantic competitors. Bias against black women with natural hairstyles still exists and thankfully, the CROWN (Create a Respectful and Open World for Natural Hair) Act was created to prevent discrimination against those who choose to wear natural hairstyles in the workplace.
In chapter six, “I’m Not Yelling-The Psychology of Microaggressions,” Leiba shares how reprimanding a coworker speaking over her which led to her feeling that her coworkers weren’t respecting her. Some microagressions are highlighted such as saying such phrases as “you’re so articulate,” someone asking about your background to quantify your ability to weigh in on a conversation, someone thinking you’re the receptionist when you are the director of the department, or expressing a belief that race doesn’t make a difference in success in life. Leiba implies that the term “microagressions” is downplaying its long-term impacts on individuals as well as the whole business. It was interesting to read how many Black professionals were hesitant to run to the office following the COVID-19 pandemic after a long break of microagressions, conforming to dress codes, natural hair discrimination, and daily code-switching. Leiba encourages the reader to address microagressions immediately as a way to create a teachable moment, regardless of if the behavior makes you feel uncomfortable.
In chapter seven, “Opening the Door-Mentorship, Sponsorship, and Sisterhood,” Leiba shares how although she personally has not had a mentor, by interviewing dozens of Black women, she is able to learn the importance of mentorship and sponsorship. Through this chapter, I learned about the difference between mentorship and sponsorship which is a mentor is an individual who gives you through a specific career, goal, or even life while sponsor acts as brand manager and publicist for their protégé. For a mentor, Leiba directs readers to have a mentor who’s been who you are as well as multiple people who are experts in different fields. In addition, as a woman, Leiba says it’s vital to have a woman mentor since men and women process things differently. It was interesting to learn about sponsorship and the ABCD of Sponsorship including amplifying, boosting, connecting, and defending a protégé. Look outside of traditional places to find mentors such as through social groups as well as virtually through social media platforms. Mentorship can be more successful when you stop viewing it as formal and transactional and focus on creating natural authentic relationships based on mutual trust and understanding. Leiba recommends the reader have mentors of different races and gender since they can use their privilege to help advance your career and support you in your goals.
In chapter eight, “A Seat At The Table Or Building Your Own Empire,” Leiba shares her experience of realizing that once she had a seat at the table, it was too small to hold her ambitions. Likewise, Leiba highlights the importance of knowing what you have to bring to the corporate table and introduces the terms “the Black Ceiling” which refers to the highest level Blacks can obtain in corporate positions. We’re more than worthy. Black women should stop asking if we belong in a white space and start asking does this space recognize our contributions and deserve our presence. It’s not Black women’s job to heal predominantly white spaces. We are not required to stay in places that are unhealthy physically, mentally, and emotionally and should be treated as stops along the way, not our final destination.
In the conclusion, Leiba encourages reader to discover their why, think of how it fits into their personal narrative, and use their voice to reflect who they authentically are. Although it may get hard, Leiba directs the reader to embrace every opportunity that comes their way and develop a community of support to bolster the Black women to help her thrive in predominantly white workplaces while being their most authentic self.
As I finished reading the book, I liked how each chapter begins with a quote which directly ties to the chapter. I appreciated the depth of research Leiba presents throughout the book regarding the regarding black men, women, and children. I felt enlightened by the reflection questions provided in each chapter as well as encouraged by the positive affirmations for the reader to use in their daily lives. Although Leiba puts the primary focus on black women working in corporate workplaces, the knowledge she shares throughout the book makes this a must read for all black women, regardless of where they work to act as a literary support system.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
January 29, 2023
Excellent book about understanding your why, passion, being your authentic self, using your voice to speak truth to power, and how to successfully navigate in predominantly white spaces.
July 20, 2023
When you’re in middle school, you’re told “You won’t be able to do that in high school.” When you get to high school, they say “that won’t fly in college”. When you’re a rising senior on the brink of graduation, you’ll hear “The workforce won’t accept that.” We’re constantly told what will and what won’t work as we step into new environments but beyond that, we’re never really notified on what we’ll be up against. With I’m Not Yelling: A Guide to Navigating the Workplace we’re given a little bit of insight. While most of these topics in the book are not new, especially for black women, it was interesting to read about the statistics as they pertain to micro-aggressions, imposter syndrome, and hair discrimination, to name a few. What makes this book special and different from others to me are the reflection questions and affirmations that come just before each chapter ends. Not only does the author want readers to simply read but she seems to want them to grow. She wants them to analyze their situations and rise above them. She wants them to be empowered and black women deserve to be that in every space we inhabit.
January 29, 2024
I took in this book as window into a perspective. I’m not who the book is for but what I felt was an honest accounting of another perspective. I really enjoyed it in full, but there are parts I struggled with because of my lens. This struggle is not a critique of the book at all. It’s more of a reexamination of my experience. At multiple points Leiba encourages the reader to be their honest self which I applaud, but in my experience the results of this are different than what she describes.
The final chapter drives home the point about bringing who you are and making the leaders around you deal with that, or leaving. There’s a cost associated with this that I’m completely comfortable with but bears consideration as I process this book. For those at my intersection of class, race, and gender I don’t believe the results or the prescribed mitigating actions would be as clear. Ultimately, I would say it’s still worth it to be unapologetic and to leave the places that aren’t open to you. It’s just not worth it to contort ourselves, which is in line with what I believe this book is saying.
The final chapter drives home the point about bringing who you are and making the leaders around you deal with that, or leaving. There’s a cost associated with this that I’m completely comfortable with but bears consideration as I process this book. For those at my intersection of class, race, and gender I don’t believe the results or the prescribed mitigating actions would be as clear. Ultimately, I would say it’s still worth it to be unapologetic and to leave the places that aren’t open to you. It’s just not worth it to contort ourselves, which is in line with what I believe this book is saying.
April 21, 2023
You how you read a book and want to savor it because you’re enjoying it so much. This was one of those. I wish this book came out when I was starting my career but it’s found me in the right season of life. It’s been like reading an affirmation to myself every damn morning. I want to share this book with every black woman I know. I definitely feel less alone. I feel empowered, affirmed and heard. What I love about this book is that you get reflection questions along with affirmations at the close of every chapter that are beyond the surface level.
I want everyone I work with to understand that this is what I am navigating. However, after reading this I understand that I do not need to be understood, I need to be myself and own my own voice power. Just wow. What a gift.
I want everyone I work with to understand that this is what I am navigating. However, after reading this I understand that I do not need to be understood, I need to be myself and own my own voice power. Just wow. What a gift.
June 9, 2023
This book's target audience is, of course, Black women.
And nonetheless, as a white woman, I found it incredibly educational, moving, and necessary to read. Any white woman who would claim to be an ally to Black women should absolutely be reading this book. Elizabeth Leiba, in her own words, brings the receipts with this book. From an extensive list of credible sources to her own, lived experience, Leiba shows the racism that Black women endure daily, both in their professional and personal lives.
White folx, especially fellow white women: If you claim to be an ally, if you want to continue your antiracism education (as we all should), this book is required reading.
Thank you to the author for bringing this necessary book into existence.
And nonetheless, as a white woman, I found it incredibly educational, moving, and necessary to read. Any white woman who would claim to be an ally to Black women should absolutely be reading this book. Elizabeth Leiba, in her own words, brings the receipts with this book. From an extensive list of credible sources to her own, lived experience, Leiba shows the racism that Black women endure daily, both in their professional and personal lives.
White folx, especially fellow white women: If you claim to be an ally, if you want to continue your antiracism education (as we all should), this book is required reading.
Thank you to the author for bringing this necessary book into existence.
July 1, 2024
3.75 stars
C 8 | A 7.5 | W 7 | P 6 | I 6 | L 6.5 | E 5
I feel like this title is misleading. I appreciated the book overall but didn't feel like it was really groundbreaking. I also feel like it asked for the reader to make a lot of changes with little information on coping with these changes. At most, you get some examples of quotes to inspire you and affirmations to say. I would have loved to see this talk more about maintaining your confidence when jobs question your capability or intentions. I feel like this was more of a "be who you are and f em" vibe which comes from a really privileged perspective.
C 8 | A 7.5 | W 7 | P 6 | I 6 | L 6.5 | E 5
I feel like this title is misleading. I appreciated the book overall but didn't feel like it was really groundbreaking. I also feel like it asked for the reader to make a lot of changes with little information on coping with these changes. At most, you get some examples of quotes to inspire you and affirmations to say. I would have loved to see this talk more about maintaining your confidence when jobs question your capability or intentions. I feel like this was more of a "be who you are and f em" vibe which comes from a really privileged perspective.
April 17, 2023
This book was inspiring in two ways, one, from the perspective of observing Leiba's journey of reestablishing and claiming her space through acknowledging that she is as worth as anyone else, and secondly, how this was followed by a period of time where she retreated into herself and created a persona that allowed her to survive in spaces where she didn't feel welcome. It also led me to reflect on my own journey from High School to now, reflecting and celebrating my confidence that I worked so hard to develop. Thank you Elizabeth, this was beautiful.
January 22, 2024
This book centers and GETS Black women. Black women in the workforce, academia, and honestly, any PWI. The anecdotes are relatable while the affirmations are encouraging. "I'm Not Yelling" is the first step to understanding and framing the experiences of Black women. There are some repetitive points, but perhaps that's intentional to drive the message home. Black women are the intended audience, yet I encourage anyone who is dedicated to "doing the work," to read this. It's educational, affirming and a valuable read.
April 11, 2023
Brilliant intermixing of academic research and personal story. While the stats are specific to the author's American context, the information and discussion still reasonate with experiences of women of colour, and Black women in particular, across the diaspora.
One phrase that really resonated with me is Leiba's discussion of Imposter Treatment not Imposter Syndrome. Talk about an "aha moment"
Great book, highly recommend.
One phrase that really resonated with me is Leiba's discussion of Imposter Treatment not Imposter Syndrome. Talk about an "aha moment"
Great book, highly recommend.
January 14, 2024
Beautifully written and very relevant
This book is a great mix between her personal experience and the similar experiences of others. Personally, it spoke to my own fears and experiences. Especially the section on imposter treatment vs imposter syndrome. It is such a truth bomb and I fully agree. Professionally, it provides practical steps for dealing with the workplace abuse we suffer. As a black / brown woman, this book felt like a coming home for me.
This book is a great mix between her personal experience and the similar experiences of others. Personally, it spoke to my own fears and experiences. Especially the section on imposter treatment vs imposter syndrome. It is such a truth bomb and I fully agree. Professionally, it provides practical steps for dealing with the workplace abuse we suffer. As a black / brown woman, this book felt like a coming home for me.
June 11, 2024
Take-aways
- Overcome self-limiting beliefs and step into your authenticity and power.
- When the world tries to silence and shrink you, embrace your true voice.
- Stop blaming yourself for imposter syndrome when others treat you like an outsider.
- Refuse to endure microaggressions silently; instead, speak up and empower others to do the same.
- Mentors and sponsors are important
- Don’t be afraid to leave a table if people don’t see your worth.
- Overcome self-limiting beliefs and step into your authenticity and power.
- When the world tries to silence and shrink you, embrace your true voice.
- Stop blaming yourself for imposter syndrome when others treat you like an outsider.
- Refuse to endure microaggressions silently; instead, speak up and empower others to do the same.
- Mentors and sponsors are important
- Don’t be afraid to leave a table if people don’t see your worth.
June 25, 2024
This was a book recommended by one of my book groups. It shared some of the struggles African American women encounter in the workplace. There were no surprises with some of the author's personal experiences, but it was still difficult to read. Unfortuntely, in some work spaces we cannot be our authentic selves. A complicated truth is that some African American women feel as though they have to "blend" in to be accepted as an equal in the workplace.
March 6, 2023
Whew! I feel validated! What can I say about this much needed, affirming work of art? The author's lived experiences, feelings, and thoughts mimic my own and likely those of most Black women before, during, and after the pandemic. The pandemic and other significant events during the height of it only made these extra more conspicuous. I am grateful for this book!
March 21, 2023
This is what I have been waiting for. I have watched Ms. Leiba grow and transform and find her voice! Boy, did she find it! From her chapter to chapter, I was glued. Her ability to tell a story and pull the reader in is what I didn't know I needed. Thank you Elizabeth! I look forward to so many more!
May 24, 2023
This book is a must read for anyone who ever hopes to be a good, fair coworker or manager of Black women. Elizabeth Leiba writes from the heart and acknowledges the barriers Black people, particularly Black women, face in the workplace. But she also leads readers along her path to finding and sharing her voice. And we are all better for having heard it.
September 18, 2023
A good non-fiction on the topic of microagressions and subtle racism in modern workplace (and life). It seems like it's mostly aimes at POC readers, but there is plenty to learn and take on board for white people as well.
There's positive affirmations after each chapter, which wouldn't be my normal cup of tea, but I am sure other readers might enjoy this part as well.
There's positive affirmations after each chapter, which wouldn't be my normal cup of tea, but I am sure other readers might enjoy this part as well.
April 13, 2023
Unfortunately, I could not get into this read. I found the story about her arrest interesting & enlightening to understand how that affected her. However, I struggled thru the next few chapters before I decided to put it down
June 29, 2023
So much of this book resonated with me and in numerous instances I had to stop and really think on what I had just heard. From rethinking imposter syndrome as imposter treatment, to the realization of how important mentorship is, every chapter gave me something tangible to walk away with.
Every day I continue on my journey to be more authentic and step into my true self.
Every day I continue on my journey to be more authentic and step into my true self.
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