Beer Quotes

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

[misquote of a letter about wine, see quotes/831031]”
― Benjamin Franklin

“I look up at the sky, wondering if I'll catch a glimpse of kindness there, but I don't. All I see are indifferent summer clouds drifting over the Pacific. And they have nothing to say to me. Clouds are always taciturn. I probably shouldn't be looking up at them. What I should be looking at is inside of me. Like staring down into a deep well. Can I see kindness there? No, all I see is my own nature. My own individual, stubborn, uncooperative often self-centered nature that still doubts itself--that, when troubles occur, tries to find something funny, or something nearly funny, about the situation. I've carried this character around like an old suitcase, down a long, dusty path. I'm not carrying it because I like it. The contents are too heavy, and it looks crummy, fraying in spots. I've carried it with me because there was nothing else I was supposed to carry. Still, I guess I have grown attached to it. As you might expect.”
― Haruki Murakami, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.”
― Oscar Wilde

“What were they thinking? 'It's an alien apocalypse! Quick, grab the beer!”
― Rick Yancey, The 5th Wave

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.”
― Abraham Lincoln

“Never underestimate how much assistance, how much satisfaction, how much comfort, how much soul and transcendence there might be in a well-made taco and a cold bottle of beer.”
― Tom Robbins, Jitterbug Perfume

“Beer is made by men, wine by God.”
― Martin Luther

“Whoever drinks beer, he is quick to sleep; whoever sleeps long, does not sin; whoever does not sin, enters Heaven! Thus, let us drink beer!”
― Martin Luther

“You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you have some kind of football team, or some nuclear weapons, but in the very least you need a beer.”
― Frank Zappa

“Whenever the devil harasses you, seek the company of men or drink more, or joke and talk nonsense, or do some other merry thing. Sometimes we must drink more, sport, recreate ourselves, and even sin a little to spite the devil, so that we leave him no place for troubling our consciences with trifles. We are conquered if we try too conscientiously not to sin at all. So when the devil says to you: do not drink, answer him: I will drink, and right freely, just because you tell me not to.”
― Martin Luther

“I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a brand of beer.”
― David Sedaris

“That's right, there's free beer in Irish paradise. Everyone's jealous.”
― Kevin Hearne, Hammered

“I like my coffee black, my beer from Germany, wine from Burgundy, the darker, the better. I like my heroes complicated and brooding, James Dean in oiled leather, leaning on a motorcycle. You know the color. ("Ode to Chocolate")”
― Barbara Crooker, More

“Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it.

- The Watchful Poker Chip of H. Matisse”
― Ray Bradbury, The October Country

“If I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.”
― Craig Ferguson

“There are more old drunks than there are old doctors.”
― Willie Nelson

“I don't think I've drunk enough beer to understand that.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Last Continent

“A man who lies about beer makes enemies”
― Stephen King, Pet Sematary

“I’m driving,” Louis-Cesare said, sliding into the low seat as easily as if he’d done it a hundred times. “You’re drunk.”
I wished. “I had all of two beers, mostly for the water content.”
“If you needed water, why didn’t you drink water?”
“I don’t like water.”
― Karen Chance, Midnight's Daughter

“I want a beer. I want a giant, ice-cold bottle of beer and shower sex.”
― Nora Roberts, Chasing Fire

“Religion is a non-alcoholic man's alcohol. Alcohol is a non-religious man's religion.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana, Divided & Conquered

“Millions of deaths would not have happened if it weren’t for the consumption of alcohol. The same can be said about millions of births.”
― Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“Do you even know what hammerd means?" I asked.

"Something to do with drinking your American beer out of a hole in the side of a can?"

Dave reached over and slapped him on the shin. "Close enough.”
― Jennifer Rardin, Bitten to Death

“Thirstily he set it to his lips, and as its cool refreshment began to soothe his throat, he thanked Heaven that in a world of much evil there was still so good a thing as ale.”
― Rafael Sabatini, Fortune's Fool

“And ... and what is civilisation if it isn’t people talking to each other over a goddamned beer?”
― James S.A. Corey, Cibola Burn

“Oh, this beer here is cold, cold and hop-bitter, no point coming up for air, gulp, till it's all--hahhhh.”
― Thomas Pynchon, Gravity’s Rainbow

“So, if people didn’t settle down to take up farming, why then did they embark on this entirely new way of living? We have no idea – or actually, we have lots of ideas, but we don’t know if any of them are right. According to Felipe Fernández-Armesto, at least thirty-eight theories have been put forward to explain why people took to living in communities: that they were driven to it by climatic change, or by a wish to stay near their dead, or by a powerful desire to brew and drink beer, which could only be indulged by staying in one place.”
― Bill Bryson, At Home: A Short History of Private Life

“If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.”
― David Daye

“Oh my God. I'm not Keith Richards. I'm Otis from Mayberry! A fucking drunk!”
― Dave Mustaine, Mustaine: A Heavy Metal Memoir

“I've been to Australia.
I've met the devil
drank beer
and snogged kangaroos.”
― Alan Martin, Tank Girl 2