Geek Humor Quotes

“No one messes around with a nerd’s computer and escapes unscathed.”
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

“Ambition is a funny thing. It’s like being a Trekkie in that if you admit to it, those around you are mock supportive of your confidence but are quick to call you a loser behind your back.

Or maybe that’s the opposite of being a Trekkie.”
― Christy Leigh Stewart

“For most people, home we represented by four walls and a roof. Not for Noa. She preferred a motherboard to a mother, a keyboard to house keys. Nothing was more comforting than the hum of a spinning hard drive.”
― Michelle Gagnon, Don't Turn Around

“... there was one new metallic monstrosity stacked in one corner that she hadn’t seen the last time she was a visitor to his strange chamber, it appeared to be a mass of hard drives all fused together, but they looked too sophisticated to be merely hard drives.
“What on earth is that?”
“That’s my Kung Fu,” he said proudly, patting the top of the futuristic-looking stack.
“Is that what you wanted to show me?”
“No, but it’s impressive, isn’t it?”
“If you say so.”
Steves sighed and shook his head, so few people could appreciate the intellectual complexity of an almost untraceable hacking device.”
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

“Simon did not solve problems, he just shamed them into going away.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“The coding was anachronistic, kind of like bokeh in a renaissance painting.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“You learned a lot by playing RPGs, although not all of it was useful, or real for that matter – unless you really believed that wolves normally carry seven gold pieces, a flawed garnet, a scroll of ice storm, and a lock pick somewhere about their person.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Geek e-mail sign-off: No trees were killed to send this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.”
― Neil deGrasse Tyson

“and don't tell me there isn't one bit of difference between null and space, because that's exactly how much difference there is”
― Larry Wall

“Alan shrugged. “I love the CBC, really, but being voted its president—” “Co-president,” Sputnik corrected. “—is kind of like being declared King of Nerds.” “Co-king,” Sputnik asserted.”
― J.M. Richards, Tall, Dark Streak of Lightning

“He was a good storyteller, but he told the kind of stories that made children run away from the village and adults look for a length of rope and some soap.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Her assignment had been to write a simple Sumerian code for preserving a jar of pickled eggs. (To the programming-inclined reader, this is the magical equivalent of “HELLO WORLD.”)”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“That was when I realised a sad but incontrovertible truth: I was a geek, and there was no getting around it. I could dress in Kate’s clothes, but it didn’t make me Kate.”
― Sharon Sant

“Behind the cool mask of bravado, past the one-way mirror of his mind, underneath the rock-solid layers of self-control, in the Zen garden that was Master Sewer’s soul, a high-pitched anxiety fart rustled through the still leaves. If farts could talk, this one would have said, “Damn coppers!”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Master Dung’s study was silent. So silent, in fact, that one might have been able to hear a gnat passing air, if only an obligingly flatulent gnat had happened nearby.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“He knew for a fact that he was so hopelessly bad at seeing through camouflage that, if left alone in the forest, he might even attempt to make fire by rubbing two snakes together.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Wonderful craftsmanship, Simon decided with the expert eye of one who had played enough computer games to know art when he saw it.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“Many things have been compared to a brick, mainly as a tribute to their intellect or to their aerodynamic characteristics.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“It was all kind of fuzzy, as if his mind was doing its thinking in limericks.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“The conversation had been so lacking in quality that it actually made Toddlers and Tiaras look like good entertainment by comparison.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“On a scale ranging from very little to too much, Merkin could just about categorize the amount of personal data stored in Master Loo’s computer as a shitload.”
― Sorin Suciu, The Scriptlings

“As far as I could tell, the quickest way to a geeky guy's heart usually involved geometric shapes.”
― Angela N. Blount, Once Upon an Ever After

“Wham. She glommed onto him like white plastic on a Stormtrooper, shamelessly pressing against his body, groping and kissing.”
― Angela Quarles, Beer and Groping in Las Vegas

“I left the Shire,
got 7 outstanding N.E.W.T.'s
and became a Vampire;
Because Winter is Coming...”
― Various

“She decides against doing anything that might disrupt the amazing inner calm he’s conveying right now. Cool and collected as ever, he appears to be applying that clever mental preparation technique he developed for himself – the one that involves a lot of shallow fast-paced breathing, staring unblinkingly into space and quivering intensely.”
― S.R. Thomas, Geeks Beyond Time

“Yeah, baby, learn Git lingo and impress your date!”
― Ravishankar Somasundaram, Git: Version Control for Everyone

“Star Wars was released in the UK in December 1977 and it's fair to say, like the peaceful planet of Alderaan, I was totally blown away.”
― Simon Pegg, Nerd Do Well

“Mel shook her head. “I mean, we could have a ‘whose friends hate them more’ competition, or you could explain to me what a DM is when you’re not sliding into someone’s?”
― Katherine McIntyre, Strength Check