Sense Of Belonging Quotes

“If we don’t find the magic to keep living on the bright side of life, we must cultivate our mindset. Let us learn to be grateful for the present moment, the morning dew enchanting our eyes, the random smile of uplifting people we encounter, and the happy flashes sprinkling our life canvas. Compassion to others and ourselves gives us a sense of belonging, fulfillment, and satisfaction, brightening up the sidewalk of our day. ("Côté cour…Côté jardin")”
― Erik Pevernagie

“Fitting is a luxury rarely given to immigrants, or children of immigrants. We are stuck in emotional purgatory. Home, somehow, is always the last place you left, and never the place you're in.”
― Scaachi Koul, One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter

“If beauty connects us to the world and to ourselves, it also gives us a sense of belonging. It confers our place in the larger tapestry of life and fuels creative power and imagination, adding depth and meaning to our journey. ("Absence of beauty was like hell")”
― Erik Pevernagie

“Teaching a boy to be a man is the primary job of a father.”
― Clayton Lessor MA, LPC

“When a boy feels as if no one cares about him, or as if he will never amount to anything, he truly believes it doesn’t matter what he does.”
― Clayton Lessor MA, LPC

“There’s a wound most troubled boys share, which, at its core, comes from the feeling that they don’t have their father’s unconditional love.”
― Clayton Lessor MA, LPC

“The gangs filled a void in society, and the void was the absence of family life. The gang became a family. For some of those guys in the gang that was the only family they knew, because when their mothers had them they were too busy having children for other men. Some of them never knew their daddies. Their daddies never look back after they got their mothers pregnant, and those guys just grew up and they couldn’t relate to nobody.
When they had their problems, who could they have talked to? Nobody would listen, so they gravitated together and form a gang. George Mackey, the former representative for the historic Fox Hill community in The Bahamas.”
― Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

“When I went to prison and came out, it was like another stripe being added to my shoulder—another notch of respect on my belt. On the streets, you cannot get a name until you do something. You have to prove who you are by doing something outrageous, like shooting someone from a rival gang. It allowed others to see what type of person you were, and established the fact that you were ready for anything.
Back in the day, what we were looking for was for someone to have our backs. So every time I did something and was recognized for what I did, it gave me more nerves to continue. After the deed was all said and done, and we were hanging on the blocks, everyone is praising you and talking about what you did. You all should have been there. You should have seen how Taco rushed up on that fella and dealt with him.
Those praises were like drugs that eventually poison the mind, and gave you more inspiration to do things to have more people talking about you. People recognizing you as one who isn’t scared, one who is ready to do whatever is needed.
No one ever wants to go to prison. I never wanted to go to prison. I just wanted to be recognized as one willing and ready for a battle anytime. Troit Lynes, former death row inmate of Her Majesty Prison in the Bahamas”
― Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

“I asked Troit, ‘What was it about the gang leaders that made you want to be more like them?’
Troit answered,
‘To be truthful, I used to feel good in their presence. I used to feel wanted in their presence. I used to feel appreciated in their presence. In their presence, you can sit down and talk and you can feel that they appreciate you. Troit Lynes, former death row inmate of Her Majesty Prison in The Bahamas”
― Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

“A group of us were downtown on Bay Street. It was some twelve to fifteen of us with nothing to do. We had just been in a fight with some Kemp Road fellas. It really wasn’t anything to talk about, because we quickly ran them off Bay Street. Feeling pumped up about what we had just done and looking for more action, we started running in the middle of Bay Street, screaming and shouting ‘Rebellions!” and ‘Raiders for life!”, making a real nuisance of ourselves. About nine of us were arrested by the police and charged with public terror and disorderly behavior. So in fact, we were given our gang name by the police, and Milton Street became known as the Public Terrorist Rebellions. Galen ‘Ninja’ Nordelus former leader of the Public Terrorist Rebellions through Milton Street.”
― Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

“Despite what you might believe right now, your son’s future is bright. You only
need the right tools to help him get there.”
― Clayton Lessor MA, LPC

“You can begin by connecting your daily efforts to they way they contribute to specific people's lives — connecting what you do with who your work serves.
...
My takeaway from all this research is that people experience a far greater sense of belonging and more sustainable well-being when they connect their efforts in the moment with a larger influence on others.”
― Tom Rath, Life's Great Question: Discover How You Contribute To The World

“A lot of those young men were just looking for love, and they got that love from Scrooge. They were not perhaps able to get it from home or from no one in the community. So instead of holding on to Scrooge, they could hold on to me. That was the way I looked at it. If Scrooge could get a young boy to follow him, I should have been able to get one to follow me as well: so why can’t I as a police officer do the same? Allerdyce Strachan, the first female to rise to the rank of superintendent on the Royal Bahamas Police Force.”
― Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

“Do you know the reason why fellas liked hanging around me? It is because I made them feel appreciated and respected. If you were a scary fella but you are good at stealing cars, then be good at that. This is where your respect is coming from. Scrooge, former leader of the Rebellion Raiders street gang that once boasted of having some ten thousand members.”
― Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

“The Rebellions were the first gang in The Bahamas, to come up with a popular logo/brand in the wearing of Raiders clothing. However, other neighborhoods gave birth to their own gangs using popular sporting team images as their official colors and name. You had the Hoyas Bull Dogs out of Kemp Road; the Coconut Grove area took on the name Nike, which became their clothing of choice. Miami Street took on the name Hurricanes, and wore Miami Hurricanes clothing. However, when you look at it closely, because of the lack of involved fathers, a lot of us were simply lacking an image and a positive identity of ourselves.”
― Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

“I asked, “When the Rebellions were at its peak doing nonsense, everyone was trying to keep away from the area, yet you were going in, why were you going into that area?
Supt. Strachan answered quite frankly,
Because I was not afraid. I felt like they are my people, they are my color. I don’t know of anyone born after me that I should be afraid of, that was how I felt. I knew I could’ve walk through Strachan’s Corner, sit down and felt at home, and their parents also accepted me.
I came to the conclusion; these kids just need someone to show them some attention. They just wanted to belong, that was what a lot of them were looking for. So I said to myself, if I could assist them I would, and that was what I did. Supt. Allerdyce Strachan, the first female officer to rise to the rank of superintendent on the Royal Bahamas Police Force.”
― Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

“Geno told them why I was there, and they all came down off the truck and looked me over — I guess just to make sure that they didn’t have any prior problems with me.
Geno was standing on my right side. He said to me, “Now I’m going to start it.” He took two steps out in front of me, spun around quickly, and delivered a punch to my left jaw. My head jerked back from his blow. I remember thinking to myself, at least that wasn’t bad. However, before I could register another thought, the five Truck Boys were on me like white on rice. They threw blows and slaps on me. For the next minute or so, I stood there and took it all in like a good soldier.
This was the price I was more than willing to pay to become a member of the Rebellions. After it was all over, they welcome me in with handshakes. Then they started asking me where I lived, and what school I had attended. Just like that I was now in the gang, these were my new best friends, individuals whom I would go all out for, and who would do the same for me.”
― Drexel Deal, The Fight of My Life is Wrapped Up in My Father

“Healing, it turns out, is a journey. It doesn’t happen all at once.”
― Clayton Lessor MA, LPC

“According to most studies on the subject, boys who grow up without fathers grow up at a disadvantage.”
― Clayton Lessor MA, LPC

“Indeed, I would not achieve the integration I sought until I found two nutrients essential to so many survivors. First, I found community and then I found a way to contribute.”
― Sue Klebold, A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy

“Careless of her own life, the princess sought to protect the precious new life first. This is in contrast to her cousins, Princesses Akiko and Noriko, who shoved their imperial guards in front of them." Mariko stops and takes one overexcited breath. Her cheeks are flushed. She is dreamy-eyed. This is what gets her excited. Good to know. "They compare you to the empress after the 1923 earthquake!" The empress rolled up her sleeves and laid bricks for a new school. She refused to leave until the town was fed, the children safe. There is a famous picture of her hugging a mother who lost her son, both of their cheeks coated in dust. "They end with calling you our very own royal."
Words fail me. Mariko seems to know I need a private moment. She places the article in my lap, then glides out the door. When she's gone, I pick it up. I rub my thumb over the last sentence of the article. It's not the royal part that warms me. No, it's the other two words. Very own, it says. Very own. Yes. That's me. A true daughter of Japan.”
― Emiko Jean, Tokyo Ever After

“Julius was lost in a dream, he was nothing, he was no one [...] He would never be touched, he was the flight of a bird, the shadow of a flower; he was the river bed and the desert sand and the snow upon the mountains.”
― Daphne du Maurier, Julius

“It’s time to stop dreaming about who you want your son to be and help him become the healthy, happy, and successful man he’s supposed to be.”
― Clayton Lessor MA, LPC

“Healthy boys grow into healthy men.”
― Clayton Lessor MA, LPC

“One thing I've learned through this is that family is incredibly precious. Other things may change us, but we start and end life with our family, whether it's the one we're born with or one of our own making. It means that you love and are loved, whoever you are....And you know you're not on your own.

[Lady Gwendoline Strickland, to Zelda Dupont]”
― Jennifer Ryan

“Katherine sits at a table of four. She's a defensive diner, with her back to the wall like Al Capone. James asks for her order. Tea. Spicy tofu. Does she want it with, or without pork? She wants the pork. Would she like brown rice? No, she says, brown rice is an affectation of Dagou's, not authentic. White rice is fine. Whatever her complications, James thinks, they're played out in the real world, not in her palate.
But Katherine's appetite for Chinese food is hard-won. She's learned to love it, after an initial aversion, followed by disinclination, and finally, exploration. Everyone knows she grew up in Sioux City eating peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches, carrot sticks, and "ants on a log" (celery sticks smeared with peanut butter, then dotted with raisins). Guzzling orange juice for breakfast, learning to make omelets, pancakes, waffles, and French toast. On holidays, family dinners of an enormous standing rib roast served with cheesy potatoes, mashed potatoes, and sweet potatoes with marshmallows, Brussels sprouts with pecans, creamed spinach, corn casserole, and homemade cranberry sauce. Baking, with her mother, Margaret Corcoran, Christmas cookies in the shapes of music notes, jingle bells, and double basses. Learning to roll piecrust. Yet her immersion in these skills, taught by her devoted mother, have over time created a hunger for another culture. James can see it in the focused way she examines the shabby restaurant. He can see it in the way she looks at him. It's a clinical look, a look of data collection, but also of loss. Why doesn't she do her research in China, where her biological mother lived and died? Because she works so hard at her demanding job in Chicago. In the meantime, the Fine Chao will have to do.”
― Lan Samantha Chang, The Family Chao

“All of the people look like me. Of course there are variations, different eye and face shapes, but there is more dark hair than I've ever seen in my entire lifetime. It hits me: I'm not a novelty here. I am not a sore thumb. What a privilege it is to blend in.”
― Emiko Jean, Tokyo Ever After

“…What I wanted...was a little more structure, a little more sense of purpose and some acknowledgment from somewhere that I was important.”
― Mary Laura Philpott, I Miss You When I Blink: Essays

“My name-all three words of it-no longer appeared on report cards or regular pay stubs...My name wasn't even spoken aloud much anymore. (Think about it: Does a spouse or baby call you by name? No. That only happens in the outside world of professional and social interactions.) I just wanted to see it in print-proof that I was still alive.”
― Mary Laura Philpott

“The inspiration of a noble cause involving human interests wide and far, enables men to do things they did not dream themselves capable of before, and which they were not capable of alone. The consciousness of belonging, vitally, to something beyond individuality; of being part of a personality that reaches we know not where, in space and in time, greatens the heart to the limits of the soul's ideal.”
― Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain