Toaster Quotes

“The toaster (lacking real bread) would pretend to make two crispy slices of toast. Or, if the day seemed special in some way, it would toast an imaginary English muffin.”
― Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster

“But the toaster was quite satisfied with itself, thank you. Though it knew from magazines that there were toasters who could toast four slices at a time, it didn't think that the master, who lived alone and seemed to have few friends, would have wanted a toaster of such institutional proportions. With toast, it's quality that matters, not quantity.”
― Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster

“I am definitely not a fucking toaster.”
― Jim Chaseley, Z14

“In any case, muffins that are only imaginary aren't liable to get stuck.”
― Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster

“So, without saying anything to the others, it made its way to the farthest corner of the meadow and began to toast an imaginary muffin. That was always the best way to unwind when things got to be too much for it.”
― Thomas M. Disch, The Brave Little Toaster

“[The Toaster]
A silver-scaled dragon with jaws flaming red
sits at my elbow and toasts my bread.
I hand him fat slices, then one by one
he hands them back when he sees they are done.”
― William Jay Smith

“I knew a kid who stuck a knife in the toaster on a few occasions. He learned it hurt. He grew up to be a great electrician.”
― Travis Jeremiah Dahnke, Write like no one is reading

“I was always a great believer in buttered toast.”
― Frank O'Connor, Collected Stories

“These robots are literally inhuman, and yet I react no differently to their stumblings and topplings than I would to the pratfalls of a fellow human. I don’t imagine I would laugh at the spectacle of a toaster falling out of an SUV, or a semiautomatic rifle pitching over sideways from an upright position, but there is something about these machines, their human form, with which it is possible to identify sufficiently to make their falling deeply, horribly funny.”
― Mark O'Connell, To Be a Machine : Adventures Among Cyborgs, Utopians, Hackers, and the Futurists Solving the Modest Problem of Death

“This stupid toaster is ruining my life!”
― Cole Gibsen, Katana

“A person is not the same as a toaster.”
― David Walton, Superposition