Satire, zombies, political send-up, the world's most renowned mass murdering barber and haircuts aplenty - Douglas Lindsay's standalone Barney ThomsonSatire, zombies, political send-up, the world's most renowned mass murdering barber and haircuts aplenty - Douglas Lindsay's standalone Barney Thomson novella takes readers on a hilarious roller-coaster ride on the other side of life - the undead.
The British Prime Minister wants to take over the world - and do it on the cheap. Enter the zombie army. British scientists have developed a world class fighting unit, with no health care, pay, or expensive training, this undead army is both efficient and cost effective. As they ravage country to country without much international intervention, the PM starts to see his vision come to fruition.
That is, until the zombies break their containment at the hands of the army and raid the PM's quarters. The living dead, on a mission for human flesh look to eradicate the living to satisfy their craving.
Where does Barney Thomson fit in all this chaos? He's been assigned the personal barber to the PM, having undertaken such duties for previous members of office, he comes highly recommended, with a minor caveat...people seem to die when he's around.
As the laugh out loud story progresses Barney assumes the role of action hero, fending off the undead along side Humphrey Bogart and a small contingent of PM staff.
Douglas Lindsay's Barney Thomson books are far fetched but this takes the cake, it's a story without any sense of believability yet it demands the reader's attention by virtue of it's clever plotting, pitch black humour, and interesting characters.
Fans of Barney Thomson, new and old, can read BARNEY THOMSON, ZOMBIE KILLER without having read all the previous books in the series, though having some understanding of his previous exploits will enhance the jocularity. ...more
Ah, you know you’re onto something good when a book opens like this:
There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who have never accideAh, you know you’re onto something good when a book opens like this:
There are two kinds of people in the world. There are those who have never accidentally murdered their work colleagues, discovered their mother is a serial killer, had to dispose of eight bodies, gone on the run from the police, hidden out in a monastery where the monks were murdered one by one, killed the monastery murderer and been allowed to walk free by the two investigating officers at the scene of the crimes. And those who have.
Barney Thomson, infamous barber and accidental murderer attracts chaos no matter where he goes - the reaper waiting with sickle ready to slash anyone in close proximity to the unassuming alleged serial killer. THE FACE OF DEATH is a novella which takes place after the blood letting frenzy at a monastery where Barney found himself one again the target of a couple of determined investigators and that of a crazed monk on the warpath.
In THE FACE OF DEATH Barney finds himself smack bang in the middle of a four person murder, all given bad haircuts before their untimely demise. With the media abuzz with Barney, the finger pointing takes no time and Barney once again finds himself in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Much like THE END OF DAYS (another Barney Thomson novella), THE FACE OF DEATH is as short as a number 2 haircut and as sharp as barbers cutthroat razor blade. Loaded with outlandish humour and engaging yet simple characters, THE FACE OF DEATH will appeal to long time Barney Thomson fans and newcomers alike.
Barney Thomson just attracts serial killers. After surviving mass murder at a monastery in THE BARBER SURGEONS HAIRSHIRT, the barber with bad luck stuBarney Thomson just attracts serial killers. After surviving mass murder at a monastery in THE BARBER SURGEONS HAIRSHIRT, the barber with bad luck stumbles upon a group of murderous maniacs trying to rein in their addiction by joining murderers anonymous. Thing is - not all of these violently inclined individuals have been caught and soon enough a secluded retreat that was meant to hint at romance in the air and redemption turns to spoilt meat and relapse.
I don't know how Douglas Lindsay does it, but every time I read a Barney Thomson book the dialogue and healthy dose of satire just gets better and better. Even with the expanded cast in Mulholland and Proudfoot (and her fictitious addiction, Jade Weapon), both police officers who have aligned their lives to the Barney Thomson phenomenon, Lindsay manages to keep the dialogue fresh and unique to the characters without sounding like carbon copies of one another.
Witt and humour are key to these books, however in MURDERERS ANONYMOUS, it's a shocking turn of events and a sequence so bloody and cannibalistic that horror fans may cringe that seals the deal. The third instalment shows no signs of the series slowing down, if anything, Lindsay appears to be gearing up for more high octane laughs and comedic accident murder.
The second book in the Barney Thomson series sees the accidental murderer on the run from police after being sought out for multiple homicides. THE BAThe second book in the Barney Thomson series sees the accidental murderer on the run from police after being sought out for multiple homicides. THE BARBER SURGEON’S HAIRSHIRT is a vastly different book to THE LONG MIDNIGHT OF BARNEY THOMSON insofar as the focus and plotting sets Barney aside to a certain degree and allows for a couple colourful coppers to shine in Mulholland and Proudfoot.
The investigative nature of the story tended to be repetitive, yet this was offset by a saturation of satire. The humorous dialogue and tabloid sensationalism of Barney’s many outlandishly accused crimes provides a nice form of escape from the monstrosity at the monastery Barney finds himself hiding.
Living under the persona of Brother Jacob, Barney adapts to life as a monk, cut off from real world problems yet finding himself embroiled in a much sinister turn of events. A monk seeking vengeance for his father’s treatment by his fellow brothers many years ago makes the halls of the monetary run red with the blood of brothers. Naturally, Barney is once again the unfortunate suspect by virtue of his poor timing and bad luck.
Mulholland and Proudfoot, on the trail to track down the Glasgow Ripper (aka Barney Thomson), bounce from one B&B to another, shining a light on civilian incompetency and their ilk’s inadequate policing until they luck out and land knee deep in the thick of a multiple homicide at the secluded monastery. Douglas Lindsay does a good job at building chemistry between the attractive and available Proudfoot and the man with a marriage on the rocks, in Mulholland – I hope Lindsay revisits these two characters again after putting so much effort into establishing them.
As with any Barney Thomson story there is a fair degree of tongue in cheek storytelling. The emphasis on soap opera tv and entertainment journalism taken to the extreme (i.e. made-up) crosses the border to the outlandish. While Barney himself is the unassuming fool, a simple yet wholehearted fellow who just wants to cut hair.
I enjoyed THE BARBER SURGEON’S HAIRSHIRT and look forward to reading MURDERERS ANONYMOUS.
‘The End of Days’ is a rare find – as outlandish as it is outstanding, the stand alone novella featuring everyone’s favourite serial killer (who’s yet‘The End of Days’ is a rare find – as outlandish as it is outstanding, the stand alone novella featuring everyone’s favourite serial killer (who’s yet to actually kill anyone), Barney Thomson is a laugh a minute. Lindsay mixes a cocktail of equal parts murder and humour as Barney lands himself a position as inadvertent right hand to an insane Labour Prime Minister. Just so happens, a serial killer is on the loose taking out MP’s one by one at the same time – naturally it doesn’t take long before the law points the finger at Barney and the fun really beings.
Douglas Lindsay is fast becoming one of my favourite writers, one whose dexterity is on full display here switching from waxing lyrical of utter despair to shine a black light on the darkness that dwells within the hearts of men:
‘The gloom of the day seemed to sweep into the room, so that the three men were each suddenly gripped by an horrendous, soul-sapping melancholy, and despair whipped around them and sucked all hope and joy from them, as a bitter succubus sucks the life from the gods.’
To laugh out loud jocularity as is evident from the except below taken from one of the many irrational and incomprehensive diatribes delivered from the wayward PM:
‘I want a haircut that transcends hair. That’s what Gandhi had. He had a haircut that didn’t even need hair. I want something like that, but a haircut that doesn’t need hair but has hair anyway. You see where I’m coming from? You know that today isn’t about policy, it isn’t about substance or platforms or issues take a stance. It’s about hair.’
Who would’ve thought a plot centralised around a mad hatter of a Polly, a barber, a serial killer, and a nation on the verge of declaring the third world war would be so funny and fast paced that its consumption is measure in minutes rather than hours? As far as expectations go for Douglas Linsdsay’s work – set ‘em high dear readers, he’ll reach ‘em every time. Highly enjoyable from start to finish with a fantastic ending borrowing from the traditional who-done-it books of yesteryear. 4 stars. ...more
'The Long Midnight of Barney Thomson' oozes black humour just as much as it does sticky red blood. By day Barney Thomson is a slave to his trade as a 'The Long Midnight of Barney Thomson' oozes black humour just as much as it does sticky red blood. By day Barney Thomson is a slave to his trade as a Glasgow barber, an accidental serial killer in the evenings, and one hell of a laugh 24/7. Making light of his dark intentions, Lindsay crafts a protagonist more suited to sitcom than death row. From subtle taunts and a general lack of recognition of his skill in the workplace spawns murderous thoughts, acted upon in dream scape, then played out in reality through acts of fate. Interestingly enough, for a serial killer, Barney doesn't actually kill anyone - intentionally. He's just an average Joe trying to have a go and make the best of his meager life. Unfortunately for Wullie and Chris (co-workers), the tools of their trade are a tad too conveniently located when the accidental assassin strikes, the result - pure genius and laugh out loud hilarity.
Douglas Lindsay manages to do it all - create suspense as the long, rather disenfranchised arm of the law reaches out for a killer, blacker than black humour, captivating characters (Cemolina - Barney's mother is a hard one to forget), and punchy dialogue in delivering a lighthearted look at a man destined for a cult following. Enjoyable from start to finish - 5 stars. I look forward to reading the other books in the series. ...more
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