This fun and breezy book is a window not only into the social mores of modern dating but into some of the ways in which technology has impacted the waThis fun and breezy book is a window not only into the social mores of modern dating but into some of the ways in which technology has impacted the way we think and interact.
Aziz starts out by exploring the ways in which dating has changed in just a few decades. Whereas adults once expected to get married in their early twenties, today they tend to spend that decade exploring a variety of options before settling down (maybe) in their late twenties or early thirties. Unlike those in earlier generations who were happy to select from a limited pool and settle down with a good-enough spouse for a companionate marriage, people today tend to seek their soul mates and want a marriage that will be instantaneously passionate and fulfill a wide range of lofty expectations -- a set-up for inevitable disappointment, some scholars say.
The protocol of asking someone out has changed as well. The rise of texting has led, it seems, to heightened anxiety about actually calling a prospective date. Texting also tends to depersonalize the other person and disinhibit the texter, and texts can be highly embarrassing or, perhaps worse, generic and noncommittal. Texting can also result in an endless and unproductive back-and-forth before people actually meet, and some confusion about whether the person is being asked to "hang out" or asked out on a real date. When the dater is actually interested in the person, a whole lot of mind games ensue (e.g., how long to wait before texting back, the length of your texts vs. the length of their texts, etc.). Then, there's the question of how to respond if you're not interested in dating the person who texted you. Etiquette just gets more and more complicated, it seems.
Aziz goes on to discuss online dating and the impact of having exponentially more dating choices. "That's the thing about the Internet," says Aziz. "It doesn't simply help us find the best thing out there; it has helped to produce the idea that there is a best thing and, if we search hard enough, we can find it...we live in a culture that tells us we want and deserve the best, and now we have the technology to get it." We have an unprecedented number of romantic options today, but is having more choices a good thing?
Aziz explains the concepts of maximizers, people who do a rigorous amount of research to seek out the best, and satisficers, who are happy to make do with good-enough. In today's day and age, with the Internet, why not be a maximizer, right? Interestingly, research has found that with regard to jobs, maximizers put more time and effort into their job search and land better jobs but are less satisfied with them. Satisficers, on the other hand, have jobs that seem worse on paper but actually report higher job satisfaction. What happens is that the maximizers, who research a large number of jobs, end up creating a fantasy in their mind combining the best features of all the jobs they've researched and wishing for this unattainable ideal. The same may very well be true for people who perceive themselves as having lots of dating options available.
In fact, in another famous experiment, while people are more likely to sample jams from a stand that offers many choices, they're more likely to actually buy jams from a stand that sells a smaller number of flavors. Aziz seems to suggest that daters would be better off focusing on a smaller number of people and trying to get to know them better rather than allowing themselves to be continually distracted by the availability of so many other options.
With so many options available, people can also set the bar unrealistically high for a first date to impress them. This is compounded by the fact that first dates are often boring, taking place in banal settings with unoriginal choices of activity and conversation. They arguably don't offer daters the opportunity to show much personality or creativity, in contrast to more original date settings. Aziz also suggests giving dates more than one opportunity to impress you; many first dates are just okay whereas second and third dates can give someone an opportunity to warm up and improve rapport.
After going cross-cultural to inform us about the dating scenes in Tokyo and Buenos Aires, Aziz discusses the impact of technology on many age-old dating behaviors, e.g., jealousy, infidelity, and sexual intimacy. He explores the rise of sexting, the disinhibiting effect of texting and social media on infidelity, the fact that difficult breakup conversations can now take place on screens rather than in person, and the temptation to monitor your significant other's activities by snooping in their phone and/or computer.
Aziz then explores the process of deciding to settle down in a serious relationship as opposed to continuing to play the field. Casual dating is fun for a while, says Aziz, but eventually it gets old, particularly as your single buddies increasingly couple off. Despite this, it can still be difficulty to take the plunge and remove oneself from the single life, where there is always the theoretical possibility of an "upgrade."
Aziz discusses the typical phases of relationships, passionate love followed by companionate love. Passionate love is, and should be, short-lived; the world couldn't function if people remained infatuated with their partners and obsessed with their relationships. That being said, the transition from passionate love to companionate love can create some challenges. In some cases, as the haze dissipates, people realize that they've made a poor choice of partner. Even in the best-case scenario, the relationship's waning excitement can make people wonder if they've made a poor choice. According to researchers, this phase is normal and typical and, if you stick it out, you'll often find that you've created a deeper relationship.
Examining all of this, Aziz asked an interesting question. Wouldn't life be more enjoyable with a series of multiple passionate relationships, so that someone can repeatedly experience passionate love rather than only experiencing it once and having it dissolve into apparently more mundane companionate love? The answer he received from the psychologist he asked bears quoting: "If you think the best life would be the one with the most passion in it, then yes, that strategy would be much better than getting married. Falling in love is the most intense and wonderful experience..." However, the psychologist adds that there is another way of thinking about satisfaction -- what he calls the narrative view, "that the best life is about building a story." He states: "If you take a narrative view, there are different things to accomplish at different stages of life. Dating and having these passionate flings are perfect when you're younger, but some of the greatest joys of life come from nurturing and from what' called 'generativity.' People have strong strivings to build something, to do something, to leave something behind. And of course having children is one way of doing that. My own experience having children is that I discovered there were rooms in my heart that I didn't even know were there. And if I had committed to a life of repeated sexual flings, I never would have opened those doors. If you think the whole point of life is to gaze into your lover's eyes all day until you die -- well, then, I wouldn't want your life." Aziz also tells us honestly that although it's one thing to imagine a single life that is an endless series of passionate relationships, the reality is far more complicated and less satisfying.
Since many of my clients are adult singles seeking a relationship, it was fascinating to get this window into today's dating world and how things have changed. What I truly appreciated, though, was the opportunity to consider the impact of technology on our functioning beyond dating. The accessibility of so many choices -- good for us, or bad for us? Is it better to be a maximizer or a satisficer? Finally, Aziz points out that although books like this can make us get negative about technology and its impact and romanticize the past, the reality is more nuanced. Technology also gives us tools to store, remember, and share reminders of our love for each other. And finally, Aziz tells us, "no matter how many options we seem to have on our screens, we should be careful not to lose track of the human beings behind them. We're better off spending quality time getting to know actual people than spending hours with our devices, seeing who else is out there."...more
Objectively, this isn't the greatest or most literary memoir I've ever read, or even the most inspiring. That being said, if you're a therapist workinObjectively, this isn't the greatest or most literary memoir I've ever read, or even the most inspiring. That being said, if you're a therapist working with anxious clients who would like to recommend a book that isn't overly clinical or self-helpy, this is a good choice. It's a readable and engaging story which relates to both exposure and mindfulness concepts and can inspire some good, relevant discussion....more
Eh. Like any collection of personal essays, this one was uneven. Some of the essays were pleasantly insightful and/or humorous. Others left me cold.
IEh. Like any collection of personal essays, this one was uneven. Some of the essays were pleasantly insightful and/or humorous. Others left me cold.
It might be Passover-induced ADD, but I'm just not feeling motivated to finish this. Maybe I'm just not in the mood for this type of thing right now. There were some essays that I briefly considered sharing with clients, so that's a good thing I guess.
Once again, I'm clearly in the minority here so pay me no mind. The overwhelming odds are that you'll like this more than I did....more
Once again, a reluctant three. 'Cause let's be honest -- a lot of this book was really dumb. Silly and over the top. And it also went on way too long;Once again, a reluctant three. 'Cause let's be honest -- a lot of this book was really dumb. Silly and over the top. And it also went on way too long; chick lit should be short and sweet. But there was some semi-interesting stuff here, buried among all the chick lit cliches (puppet men, good women who were sassy and spunky, bad women who were too stupid to live, etc., etc.).
Grace is a lifestyle blogger, living in the perfect house, thinking she's married to the perfect man until -- surprise! She discovers that he's having an affair with her 26-year-old assistant. Whereupon Grace pulls a movie-ready stunt straight from the pages of Switcheroo (I'll give Mary Kay Andrews the benefit of the doubt here, but the humor of the scene really lost in the duplication even if it was accidental).
So now, forced to move in with her blue-collar mother, Grace also finds herself the victim of a misogynistic judge who sentences her to divorce group therapy. The therapist is completely out to lunch (her unpunished incompetence could only happen in the pages of a chick lit novel), but the group members discover that they can provide each other with support during post-group meetings in Grace's mother's bar. Grace discovers friends, a love interest, a new and exciting project...you get the picture. Turns out, divorce was the best thing that could have happened to her.
Okay. So this was severely over the top, with unbelievable characters and plot twists, and way too long. I remember enjoying Savannah Blues a lot more, although that may have been timing (I think I was craving chick lit more at that time) and/or the fact that that was my first Mary Kay Andrews novel.
Still, though, I did finish it and I'm giving it three stars because it was a light and entertaining audiobook that got me through a lot of laundry. There were some mildly interesting themes and conflicts, even if they weren't fully explored. Silly though this was, it wasn't completely superficial or uninteresting.
With Gary Shteyngart I tend to be more enthusiastic about the parts than about the overall whole.
I remember reading The Russian Debutante's Handbook, With Gary Shteyngart I tend to be more enthusiastic about the parts than about the overall whole.
I remember reading The Russian Debutante's Handbook, falling all over myself laughing at the first chapter and gradually losing interest as the book progressed. Here too, there were many great moments but unfortunately not as much sustained momentum.
I do love the guy's writing. I love, in spite of myself, the whole angsty Jewish thing even if I find it a bit hackneyed at times. This book reminded me of Foreskin's Lament in many ways though it was less bitter and religion played a more marginal role. I related to Gary's conflicted identity and to his vivid descriptions of his critical but devoted Russian parents. Gary willingly portrayed himself as a bit of a jerk, which sometimes felt admirably honest and sometimes felt off-putting as well as self-indulgent and navel-gazing. Overall I found Gary sympathetic in spite of himself, even if there were times when I wanted to look away or cringe.
I'm not sure I fully appreciated the book, or my experience of reading it, but I did develop an affinity for Gary. He's about my age, and I remember when a whole bunch of Russians suddenly arrived on the shores of America and we Jewish elementary school students tried to welcome them into our schools. The language and culture gaps proved challenging, and I often found myself wondering what went on in their heads but not sure how to ask. In that way, reading Gary's memoir felt enlightening and interesting.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that, while I didn't love the book, I loved a lot of things about it. Three stars. And a big thank-you to Netgalley for providing me with a review copy and making me feel validated in my goodreads addiction. ;)...more
Eh. Somehow I don't seem to have loved this as much as everyone else did. I'll round the stars up for effort, though, and for the fact that statisticaEh. Somehow I don't seem to have loved this as much as everyone else did. I'll round the stars up for effort, though, and for the fact that statistically speaking the overwhelming odds are that you'll like this more than I did.
This was kind of like reading a cross between The Silver Linings Playbook (which I loved) and The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (which I didn't love, I suspect for some of the same reasons I didn't love The Rosie Project). The main character appears to have Asperger's, although it's never been officially diagnosed. He undertakes a project to find himself a compatible wife using an impersonal and detailed questionnaire, and finds his project challenged when he meets a woman who seems entirely unsuitable but...
The plot treads typical rom-com lines, I was ambivalent about the depiction of the main character's Asperger's, and it didn't surprise me to learn that this started out as a screenplay because of the frequent highly visual gag scenes designed to pull the laugh strings of compliant movie audiences. So my final verdict is a long-suffering "Eh." With that said, there were moments that made me smile and clearly the rest of goodreads was far more forgiving than I was, so feel free to disregard my curmudgeonly review....more
Eh. I realized I wasn't really listening to this and finally, after several commutes where I attempted to stay focused, decided to just leave it unfinEh. I realized I wasn't really listening to this and finally, after several commutes where I attempted to stay focused, decided to just leave it unfinished.
I can see why someone would like this, which is why I gave it three stars. Carl Hiaasen writes a fantastic sentence, and has a great sense of the absurd. But it just got to be too much for me, with all the characters and subplots and over-the-top humor. Admittedly some of this may have been due to some recent schedule disruptions that broke up my audiobook time and the book's continuity. Regardless, I lost patience and am moving on to something else....more
This was one of those silly, over-the-top chicklit books that was perfect for audio. Because despite its farcical nature, I never actually got to the This was one of those silly, over-the-top chicklit books that was perfect for audio. Because despite its farcical nature, I never actually got to the point of snorting and rolling my eyes and abandoning it as I have with many others of this genre. It didn't demand a great deal of attention and I was able to enjoy it even as I tuned out here and there.
Rachel Chu, a New York academic of Chinese origin, has just been asked by her great boyfriend Nick to spend the summer with him in Singapore and meet his family and friends. What Rachel doesn't know, but will painfully learn, is that Nick actually comes from an extremely wealthy background. Aside from Nick's mother's horror about Rachel's humble roots, lots of high-maintenance social-climbing Singapore women want Nick for themselves. What this adds up to is a whole lot of plotting by various parties to break Nick and Rachel up as Rachel innocently goes through the motions of meeting people and attending social gatherings.
The extreme wealth and conspicuous consumption (with the exception of the tight-fisted, principled "old money" crew) was lavishly described and, as I said, over the top. So were some of the reactions to Rachel and the diabolical plotting behind her back. Just about everyone in this book was either a Mary Sue (particularly Astrid, who was truly beyond belief) or completely evil. This is definitely not a book to be read with any seriousness or high expectations.
But for a chick lit read on audio, I actually thought it was pretty decent. If you find yourself in an airport bookstore frantically searching for a plane read, I would give you the go-ahead to choose this one.
Yeah, I know -- it's the same chicklit people keep writing over and over. Three middle-aged women are friends, and betwThis was really almost a three.
Yeah, I know -- it's the same chicklit people keep writing over and over. Three middle-aged women are friends, and between the three of them we have infidelity, alcoholism, debating whether to pursue a long-lost love, and illness. They live in a small town which doesn't happen to be in the deep south this time but may as well be. The characters are not particularly fleshed out; the issues are not new or dealt with in a new way. But still, I could be a little forgiving of what was basically a pleasant and undemanding audio listen for my long commute. It was even kind of engaging at times.
Except the book jumped the shark with that ridiculous wedding about 3/4 of the way through. It's cheap when authors try to make the reader laugh by creating a few characters who are such obvious caricatures and are basically begging you to hate them. And then the author delivers their comeuppance in a way that is so unbelievably over the top that, alone in the car, I found myself snorting and rolling my eyes when I should really have been paying more attention to the road. Just like it annoys me when authors try too hard to get me to like their characters, it also annoys me when authors try to hard to get me to hate their characters, and it only gets worse when ridiculous jokes are made at their expense. There were also a lot of highly visual scenes that basically had "Please! Make me into a movie!" written all over them, which didn't exactly enhance their believability.
So I'm going with two stars, although I'm sure a more forgiving reader would certainly give this three (and it seems many have rated it even higher, judging from its high average goodreads rating). If this is your type of book and you haven't already read ten like it, you'll probably enjoy it more than I did....more
Meh. I guess I'll give this a three. It was okay I guess. But I didn't love it.
Maybe it's a function of the ADD/internet-addled generation, but the neMeh. I guess I'll give this a three. It was okay I guess. But I didn't love it.
Maybe it's a function of the ADD/internet-addled generation, but the new epistolary novel seems to be a pastiche of e-mails, interviews, memos, etc., all of which are far more informative and lyrical than actual e-mails, interviews, and memos would be in real life. After tolerating this style in Where'd You Go, Bernadette and The Lawgiver, it's getting old for me and was a bit of a turnoff in Salmon Fishing in the Yemen. (Just as an aside -- does anyone actually call "Yemen" "The Yemen"? I've never heard that, and found it jarring.)
Anyway, this book is about a scientist who is roped into a project to create a place where people can fish for salmon in the desert of Yemen, an idea which could bring peace to the Middle East or at least be politically influential in other ways. Apparently this is scientifically quite ill-advised and very expensive, but if you believe...blah blah blah. And the over-the-top wealthy sheik who's bankrolling the project believes, and manages to convince the scientist and others to work to make this happen. Field of Dreams, take two. In the meantime, the scientist's marriage is on the rocks, the sheikh's life is threatened, and a romance may be budding between the scientist and a woman working closely on the business end of the project.
It seems this was supposed to be a satire, but the satirizing went over my head. There was some chuckle-inducing humor but nothing hysterical. The plot didn't grab me and I found the characters very two-dimensional and uninteresting (the format may be partly to blame for that, but that was the author's choice).
It was a light enough read and not unpleasant, which is why I'm veering over to three stars rather than relegating it to a more disappointed two. I suppose if you're stuck somewhere and find this book in a pile of otherwise unpromising-looking reads, you're better off with this one. That's about the strongest recommendation I can give it....more
Okay. You know what you're getting into when you pick up a Sophie Kinsella book. But an intelligent goodreads friend of mine recommended this, I saw iOkay. You know what you're getting into when you pick up a Sophie Kinsella book. But an intelligent goodreads friend of mine recommended this, I saw it had an enormously high rating from a large number of people, and I was desperate for an audiobook. So there you go.
Sometimes I'm willing to suspend my disbelief and usual snarkiness for a book that serves as a fun escape. Sadly, this wasn't one of those times. This book was way over the top, between the ridiculous premise and the too-stupid-to-live heroine. When the book opens, our heroine, Poppy Wyatt, has lost her precious irreplaceable heirloom engagement ring. Why? Because she let a whole bunch of people try it on at a banquet without keeping track of it and then the fire alarm went off. Whoops.
Then, when her phone is stolen as she continues hunting for her ring (what will she lose next? Her mind? Too late), Poppy finds a phone in the garbage and adopts it. Turns out this phone belongs to the former PA of a large company official, but when Poppy refuses to relinquish the phone (for reasons that are unclear; it can't be that difficult to just get a new one and give people the number just like she did with this one), she ends up becoming increasingly enmeshed in the life of the (conveniently male and attractive) company official. Oh, dear!
I admit -- there was a scene the beginning involving an improvised singing telegram which cracked me up, and there were occasional charming moments. But overall, this book was much too over the top for me. If you're a kinder and more forgiving reader than I am, this may be the fun escape you're looking for. But personally I did better with chick lit books such as What Alice Forgot, Flavor of the Month, On Love, and Kiss & Tell....more
This was (mostly) a cute and charming read with some interesting insights into the inefficiency you often encounter among businesses and individual woThis was (mostly) a cute and charming read with some interesting insights into the inefficiency you often encounter among businesses and individual workers. Basically, Peter says, if workers do well (and especially if they have "pull"), they will keep being promoted until they reach a point where they can no longer do their job well. But once that happens, they usually won't be demoted unless they're exceptionally incompetent. Rather, they will remain in their positions. To compensate for their incompetence, additional workers may be brought in to help them, while their title may be redefined so that they can continue being glibly inefficient while others pick up their slack.
Though I sometimes felt Peter was overstating his case, many points and examples resonated with my experience. I thought his point about varying definitions of competence was particularly well-taken, i.e., to a boss, competence is less about being good at what you do and more about being a worker who maintains the organization's hierarchy. In fact, being too good at what you do can pose a threat to the organization's hierarchy and result in your dismissal. Basically, we're all kind of doomed to mediocrity and incompetence, both in our own careers and as individuals who have to deal with workers in other businesses. I think it's a bit of an overstatement, but to the extent that it's true it's pretty depressing when you think about it. Thankfully, some of the book's humor keeps you from getting too depressed about it....more
I wasn't sure whether to go with 3 or 4 stars for this one, but I rounded up for two reasons -- the author's fabulous turn of phrase, and the fact thaI wasn't sure whether to go with 3 or 4 stars for this one, but I rounded up for two reasons -- the author's fabulous turn of phrase, and the fact that I suspect that my more lukewarm reading moments were less about the book itself and more about the fact that I had to rush through it in order to return it to the library on time which isn't the book's fault. With that said, I think I would have appreciated this more had I been more familiar with the genre being satirized. I got a lot of the humor but suspect there were quite a few inside jokes that I missed.
Cold Comfort Farm, written in the early 1930s, is the story of Flora Poste. Orphaned at 20, Flora decides to live with her eccentric relatives on a distant farm and proceeds to wreak havoc on their lives. Lots of clever humor in both the writing and the characters, although the plot got a little too crazy and fast-paced for me after the book's halfway point. But again, this may be a function of my needing to rush through it and kind of skimming along.
This was fun, though, and would probably be appreciated even more by someone with more knowledge of the satirical targets than I have....more
Although I think this book would have worked better condensed into a long article, with only the most interesting anecdotes and insights and no fillerAlthough I think this book would have worked better condensed into a long article, with only the most interesting anecdotes and insights and no filler, I still found it undemanding, mostly enjoyable, and occasionally provocative -- kind of like a good friend.
Rachel Bertsche, a newcomer to Chicago, felt isolated and friendless. Too old to meet people at college, too young to meet them at Mommy & Me or preschool gatherings, there was simply no natural way for her to make friends in her new city. As a relative newcomer to my current place I can certainly relate, although admittedly Rachel seems to have a lot more time than I have (no kids) which may have made her more motivated to actively seek friendships. Rachel did something quite original and brave in my opinion. The way an anxious single might determinedly pursue a variety of avenues for meeting random guys in search of "The One," Rachel decided to go through all sorts of contortions -- friends of friends, websites, all kinds of networking ideas -- to meet 52 different new women over the course of a year in the hope that at least one might fill the role of "BFF."
I admired Rachel's courage, which was part of what kept me reading. As Rachel points out, people understand if you're direct about being single and wanting to meet the love of your life, but they're far less forgiving if you openly state that you're looking to make friends. What kind of a loser doesn't already have friends? What kind of a loser is so desperate that she would put herself out there like that? To her surprise, Rachel finds that the vast majority of women she meets are not losers, and tend to be just as open as she is to the possibility of making a new friend even if the chemistry with Rachel herself doesn't quite work. Her quest proves successful and enlightening as she comes away with some solid new friendships, even if she also realizes that becoming a BFF is a longer and more complex process. Throughout, Rachel shares some interesting ideas about friendship that she picks up both from her reading and from her own experience.
As I said, the book was a little too long for me and is really a 3-star read; I couldn't see giving it more stars. I wish I had found it on audio, because I think I would have appreciated it more as a diversion during monotonous tasks than as a read I actually had to sit down with. But it was certainly pleasant, and made me think a little more about my own social relationships....more
Another one of those books that falls into that gray area between three and four stars.
In Where'd You Go, Bernadette, fifteen-year-old Bee is trying Another one of those books that falls into that gray area between three and four stars.
In Where'd You Go, Bernadette, fifteen-year-old Bee is trying to piece together the facts behind her heretofore doting if eccentric mother's abrupt disappearance. The book is a pastiche of Bee's collected evidence, including revealing e-mails, official documents, and a wide range of correspondence between centrally and peripherally involved characters. This is where my ambivalence first came in: creative or gimmicky? The e-mail revelations felt a little too contrived at times; didn't these people ever talk to each other?
I also wasn't sure how I felt about Bernadette as a character. Endearingly snarky, or self-pitying and whiny? I had a hard time buying some of Bernadette's central conflicts, and felt they could have been far more easily solved had Semple not been determined to write a novel. I had mixed feelings about the satire too -- sometimes chucklingly funny, sometimes way over the top.
On the other hand, this book definitely had its four-star moments. Something I love in a book -- complex characters in complex situations making serious mistakes with the best of intentions. Yup -- this book had that in spades. I was tempted to up the rating to four stars just for that, despite all the other flaws. And I have to admit that even cynical old me actually got choked up at times, which is saying a lot although it may reflect on my state of mind rather than on the book.
So I'll give the book three stars because I don't want to oversell it, but it's really more of a 3.5. Certainly not perfect, but if you're looking for a decent story to pass the time with, you could definitely do worse....more
A.J. Jacobs is always fun, even if his shtick is getting predictable. In his latest the-crazy-thing-I-tried-for-a-year line-up, A.J. is trying to get A.J. Jacobs is always fun, even if his shtick is getting predictable. In his latest the-crazy-thing-I-tried-for-a-year line-up, A.J. is trying to get healthy. As with his experiment in living biblically, he tries a wide range of extreme experiences and eventually comes out with some interesting insights and a newly enhanced lifestyle, having incorporated a more moderate version of some of his more felicitous discoveries. I wouldn't tell you to drop everything and run out to read this book, but if you have some downtime and can't find something you've been dying to read, you could do worse. ...more
This was my first encounter with Sarah Vowell, and it was interesting to read reviews from friends who felt Sarah is funnier heard than read. Since thThis was my first encounter with Sarah Vowell, and it was interesting to read reviews from friends who felt Sarah is funnier heard than read. Since this was an audiobook read by Sarah, one could argue that I had the best of both worlds. But maybe Sarah is funnier off-the-cuff than she is in a planned delivery.
From listening to Sarah's voice and to her content (when I was able to stay tuned, which was unfortunately not as often as I would have liked), she sounded like a quirky person I would enjoy being friends with although I don't know if I'd enjoy it enough to agree to be dragged on her crazy pilgrimages to presidential assassination sites. Somehow, though, I couldn't maintain interest in her book. I would say that it was audiobook ADD but others who read the book in print believed it would be more entertaining as a listen.
So I don't know what to tell you, especially since lots of other people liked this book. It just didn't hold my interest. But I'm certainly open to revisiting Sarah Vowell at some other point, in some other venue....more
Whatever you want to say about Auslander as a Jew, he is a talented writer. As a novelist, though, he leaves a lot to be desired.
Assuming you can toleWhatever you want to say about Auslander as a Jew, he is a talented writer. As a novelist, though, he leaves a lot to be desired.
Assuming you can tolerate Holocaust irreverence, the concept behind this book was actually clever. A Woody Allen-esque neurotic Jew (Solomon Kugel) moves his wife, child, and mother to a farmhouse in the country only to discover a decrepit Anne Frank living in his attic. There's a lot here. The age-old literary trope of discovering a crazy lady living in your attic and the symbolism there. The idea that, for many American Jews, the crazy lady in the attic is the ghost of the Holocaust that's so difficult to shake no matter how comfortable we may get in America. The irony of juxtaposing Kugel's mother, a very much alive woman with an illusory (though intense) claim on Holocaust experiences, with Anne Frank, a supposedly dead woman with genuine Holocaust associations. And what that means in terms of whether the Holocaust is alive or dead, and the people trying to claim the Holocaust for themselves for their own ends.
I've said a lot, but you may notice that I haven't mentioned plot. Or characters. You know, the things most of us read novels for. That's because there wasn't much of either in this novel. We get a lot of Solomon Kugel's neurotic and nihilistic inner life, ruminating on the concept of hope as something that brings us down. Kugel's wife, Bree, is understandably frustrated with Kugel and his histrionic mother; Anne Frank is foul-mouthed and demanding. So much for characters. I can't even say anything about plot, because the situation was the plot. Kugel feels he has to keep Anne Frank's existence a secret from his family members (why? This was never quite clear to me) while he struggles with the dilemma of what to do about her presence. Kugel fears an arsonist burning down farmhouses in the neighborhood. That about sums it up.
It was a fast read but not fast enough, actually, as I found myself skimming the last half of the book. So it's possible I missed something. But I would say, unless you're morbidly curious about what outrageous thing Auslander may have written (in which case you'll probably be disappointed), don't waste your time on this one....more
Eh. Not bad for the genre, i.e., humorist's essay collection slash memoir. My low expectations were met, pretty pleasantly I might add. Like many essaEh. Not bad for the genre, i.e., humorist's essay collection slash memoir. My low expectations were met, pretty pleasantly I might add. Like many essay collections this one was uneven but there were a few interesting pieces and it didn't demand a great deal of time or attention. ...more
Although I've left Israel, I hope to continue participating as a member of my beloved Jerusalem-based book club thanks to the blessings of technology.Although I've left Israel, I hope to continue participating as a member of my beloved Jerusalem-based book club thanks to the blessings of technology. Only one of them is on goodreads so Randi, if you're reading this, I'll try to be a little nicer in the meeting but here I'm going to be brutally honest. This book was crap.
The story is about a family -- Dad, who remains voiceless and nameless until the final scenes, Mom/Mo, a surprisingly uninsightful child psychologist, Dora, her 17-year-old ditzy daughter who sounds a lot more like a 14-year-old, and Peter/Oscar, her 16-year-old son with an Oscar Wilde obsession. Naturally there's a wise and all-knowing grandmother whom all of them love and turn to for advice, a woman who manages to be hip while remaining empathic and right there with the home-baked goodies (recipes at the end of the book! I'm starting to think that's a sign of seriously low-level chick lit, much as I love recipes). It's told from multiple perspectives, a style which usually doesn't work for me and certainly didn't here.
Dora hates her mother bitterly for reasons most 17-year-olds have gotten over -- deep-seated, complex issues like not being allowed to get a navel ring. You'd be amazed at the amount of vitriol launched by this conflict. The completely thick Mo is -- irony of ironies! -- in the process of writing a survival manual for parents of teens as she remains completely clueless about and/or at loggerheads with her own. Dora clearly came by her stupidity honestly. I don't know how much Dawn French knows about child psychology or child psychologists, but typically when we struggle with our own kids, we do engage in some self-reflection at some point usually informed by some theory or another. We don't simply throw our hands up and continue to fancy ourselves deeply prescient simply because we're in this field, even as our fights with our children continually prove us wrong.
Sigh. Dawn meant well. The family dynamics here could have been interesting, had she given Dora several more IQ points and made her feelings about her mother more complex and three-dimensional; had Mo been a little more psychologically aware (hello?) and self-examining (how did she make it through graduate school with such a profound absence of this quality?); had, oh, I don't know, had this been a different book I guess. I really can't believe I read the whole thing, shaking my head and rolling my eyes the entire time, and I sure hope my book club chooses something better next time because I fully intend to finish that one too....more
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