“How would life feel if I didn't have to always hold on tight against the darkness? Who would I be if I
ARC provided by the publisher via Netgalley
“How would life feel if I didn't have to always hold on tight against the darkness? Who would I be if I could live in the light?”
i just am always completely in love with k o’neil’s characters, worlds, and themes. they create stories that are such a gift to our world, and this newest graphic novel will probably resonate with so many people who are reading this review, because the central theme is all about burn out and not realizing when you need a break and when you need some help, too. we are all so small in the grand scheme of things, and it's so easy for things to feel overwhelming, especially these last few years, and especially in a pandemic that is still going on. but our value as creators and, more importantly, humans, will never ever be dependent on how much we produce.
this is also a very heartfelt tale about community, and the things we can achieve when we are kind and offer help to people – and how that kindness and help can go such a long way and have the most beautiful healing rippling effect to so many. but this also touches on how hard it can be to ask for help, when you have been turned away from it by people who are supposed to be there for you. but also, in turn, how unconditional love + friendship can be the most powerful force in all the world.
ah, this is just perfection. i wish i could put this story in the hands of everyone, but especially every child. i immediately finished the arc, and purchased a physical for my own personal library (which surprisingly had the most beautiful art under the dustjacket). i think this will for sure make my best of 2023 come december. truly, a gift to this universe in all ways.
trigger + content warnings: mention of loss of a loved one, parental neglect + abandonment
oh i was invested in so much... this was the best romance ive read in years! highly highly highly recomm
“The world is doable when she is near me.”
oh i was invested in so much... this was the best romance ive read in years! highly highly highly recommend! but as much as i loved the romance, the friendships were really the star of this for me. healing, and hope, and building new friendships, and rebuilding old friendships. and seeing platonic breakups be even harder than romantic breaks ups so much of the time, and the trauma that can come from that... very beautiful and powerful to me. i loved this completely.
“It’s hard when you look up and realise that everyone’s moved off and left you in that place by yourself. Like they’ve all gone on and you’re there
“It’s hard when you look up and realise that everyone’s moved off and left you in that place by yourself. Like they’ve all gone on and you’re there still, holding on to this person you’re supposed to let go of.”
this is a heartbreakingly beautifully written book that the reader can interpret in many different ways. But this ultimately is a story about how grief can impact us, change us, shape us.
this will not be a book for everyone, and even though there are so many eerie scenes, the sadness and loneliness and helplessness i felt while reading was the scariest horror elements for me. i cried for the entire end of this, and for sure at least half of my tears were because i was purely heavy sad, but i also think it’s because this story is so expertly crafted that half of my tears were the light feeling of feeling seen and felt cathartic to let out.
letting go can be so hard, even when it is the right thing, and especially if you are given no other option but to let go. but this book just amplifies, and continues to echo throughout, that reality so very much, because sometimes you really are forced to give up the entire sum of your heart, and you’ll never be prepared for the timing of it. we as humans just are not equipped to deal with that instant emptiness, no matter how many times we read about it in books.
“I want to explain her in a way that would make you love her, but the problem with this is that loving is something we all do alone and through different sets of eyes.”
i saw someone else say this, but this writing truly feels like the ebb and flow of a great body of water. i even noticed myself rocking slightly back and forth while turning these pages, because this is crafted in such a way that it truly does make the reading experience feel like waves (sometimes crashing against my heart over and over again eroding at something). such a hypnotic style and craft, i really can’t believe this is a debut novel.
again, i just know this is not going to be for everyone, maybe not even for the majority of readers, but i think this book could very much connect with certain readers. And if it does, i think you’ll love it wholeheartedly. also, maybe unimportantly, this book cover is truly an all time favorite for me. haunting, beautiful, and memorable just like the story inside.
lastly, this is an interview with them magazine that just really just makes my heart overflow with immeasurable joy, seeing queer writers subvert, empower, and reclaim the horror genre.
trigger + content warnings: grief, depression, death, loss of a loved one, loss of a parent, terminal illness, not great parents, a lot of blood depiction, body horror, talk of eating habits, hypochondria, insect mentions, menstruation mention, needle imagery, vomit, memory loss, nightmares, suicide, confinement that made me feel a little claustrophobic with the descriptions (being trapped in a submarine at the bottom of the ocean for six months)
“Pandemics don't approach like wars, with the distant thud of artillery growing louder every day and flashes of bombs on the horizon. They arrive i
“Pandemics don't approach like wars, with the distant thud of artillery growing louder every day and flashes of bombs on the horizon. They arrive in retrospect, essentially. It's disorienting. The pandemic is far away and then it's all around you with seemingly no intermediate step.”
i was a little apprehensive going into this story, because Station Eleven is one of my favorite books of all time, but i really didn’t enjoy The Glass Hotel. i was really on the fence about starting this, but i am so happy that i did because i ended up really loving, and being so very moved, by this story. Also, apparently i am really starting 2024 off with reading all the scifi books involving time and love.
sea of tranquility is a story that starts in 1912 and ends in 2401. we get to read from four characters throughout this timeline: edwin (1912), mirella (2020), olive (2203), gaspery-jacques (2401). and slowly (and oh so beautifully) see how they all connect because of a maple tree and a violin.
i feel like i really don’t want to say anything more about the plot, but i promise you these four people are woven together in a really lovely way. we get to see plagues and heartbreak and loss, but we also get to see love and hope and devotion. to me, this book was all about the connections we make, the ripples we all leave in the universe, and how even when humanity looks and feels so hopeless at times, more humans ultimately want to do good and want to help one another. And seeing this story unfold over 500 years was just a really heartfelt reminder that maybe 2024 melanie needed.
trigger + content warnings: colonization, vomit, suicide mentions, talk of a lot of loss of loved ones (partners, parents, siblings, friends), grief, gun violence, incarceration, brief prison setting, blood, and a lot of talk of pandemics and plagues and illness (this book heavily talks about pandemics in a way that i think could be very triggering. I’m not sure i was ready for that in 2024, but i just kept reading, but i do want to warn friends that this book feels very heavy a lot so please use caution!)
“Please don’t ever tell Jace I said he was a badass.”
This short story is just a transcript of voicemails that the Shadowhunters left for M
“Please don’t ever tell Jace I said he was a badass.”
This short story is just a transcript of voicemails that the Shadowhunters left for Magnus after the end of City of Lost Souls, when he and Alec broke up. It just wasn’t enjoyable and was a lot of harassment even though I know that it was coming from a place of good. I just, thought this was honestly a bit pointless, but I know it was supposed to be heartwarming. I will also say that I think it was a really poor choice for a concluding story, because it for sure finished the entire anthology on a low note.
“Even if it meant being wild on soil never meant to bear me.”
This was harrowingly heartbreaking and carmen is really such a gifted author and can evoke so much pain and so much healing, even with so few pages. This short story is told under the guise of a research paper from the future, and moves forward with a new article or new interview, researching children’s hand clapping games that gives clues about how a small Pennsylvania town, named Never-Again, was massacred by tigers in 1999, where only one child did not disappear. With the last interview in this research project being from that sole survivor, now very much an adult. And this reading like a real piece of nonfiction really just added a whole other layer.
But carmen always weaves this unexplainable magic of breaking my heart and simultaneously healing it with each piece they craft, and this short story was no different. To find freedom and power from your trauma(s) is something i deeply wish for everyone.
trigger + content warnings: a lot of off page violence to children, off page rape and sexual assault, off page pedophilia, mention of suicide, mentions of colonization, death, blood depictions, drawing blood, animal death. (i know these are some heavy tws but truly all were done in a very nongraphic way for me, personally. But still use caution for your own self and mindset.)
nk jemisin is so brilliant and such a gift to our world. i really recommend going into this one without reading reviews, just enjoy this wonderfully crafted story that is very clever and... ahhh, i just love jemisin so much.
also, personal to me, i love an unexpected colorado river mention :)
i keep putting off this review, because i know whatever i type will just not do this book justice. this really is a masterpiece in every way, and for i keep putting off this review, because i know whatever i type will just not do this book justice. this really is a masterpiece in every way, and for sure one of the best books i've ever read, but it also felt physically painful to read while being an american right now. (i mean, always, but just... extra heavy right now.) but, i will try my best.
“This book is dedicated to anyone who has ever fallen in love with a culture that was devouring their own.”
a memory called empire follows mahit dzmar, who is from a very small mining space station, and this story begins as soon as she lands in the center of the multi-system, the teixcalaanli empire, where she will be the newest ambassador. she has been raised learning everything about teixcalaan, in hopes of one day being able to work in the heart of the empire she has loved her whole life, but when the last ambassador goes missing, mahit is able to make that dream come true bigger than she ever imagined.
in this world, there is implant technology that manhit’s people have, called imagos. and basically, as long as the people are compatible, they can share a chain of actual human life memory, that they can keep passing down, essentially sharing a body, at least your current body when the years of memories of the person’s implant that is implanted in you. yskandr, the previous ambassador, has been missing for three months, and they do not have this implant of the last twenty years, but they have an out of date imago of his first five years in teixcalaan, and that is what mahit has with her while she is embarking on this new job and new journey.
when she arrives, she realizes really quickly that maybe this empire wasn’t very worthy of her dedication. the people of teixcalaan remind her that she never will truly be one of them throughout this book. she also is experiencing riots and uprising from resistance groups, while also seeing people in power using war as a source of profit for themselves. mahit getting very intertwined with the emperor and learns lot about what yskandr was doing during the fifteen years he was not checking in with lsel station.
there is also a sapphic situation going on with mahit’s cultural liaison, three seagrass, who she meets when arriving to the empire, and who is supposed to kind of bridge the two cultures more easily for mahit, and assist her with anything she needs or does not understand. And they really make a connection of poetry, which is a big part of this world and story, and i just really loved reading about them - even though i know there is a lot of layers to this and it’s really complicated (which is also probably why i enjoyed reading it).
this is a space opera, this is a murder mystery, this is a romance, this is about connecting and learning and loving other cultures that are not your own, this is about imperialism and the forever more and more and more colonization that comes from it. arkady martine really has created something powerful, and important, and real, yet also very beautiful and filled with empathy. this duology really deserves all the awards it has received, and a memory called empire really is one of the best books i’ve ever read. (also, it is my favorite book title of all time, i think, too!)
trigger + content warnings: colonization, colonialism, use of the word barbarians talking about people who are others, death, panic attacks, mention of consuming ashes of someone, blood, bombings / explosions, talk of child birth, assault (unwanted touching), poisoning, wound descriptions, surgery, needles, riots, fetishization, grief, war, seizures, violence, loss of a loved one (friend), self harm (to get blood for an oath), suicide / sacrifice, and a lot of xenophobia
“For when man has the power to do anything, then anything he will do.”
this was such a cute start to a story about a girl who has been intri[image]
“For when man has the power to do anything, then anything he will do.”
this was such a cute start to a story about a girl who has been intrigued by magic her whole life, only to realize that it has been at her fingertips in wait. also, the magic system in this is so smart and unique - i am very in love with it and even more in love with the visual learning incorporated into this story! but there are a lot of secrets in this first volume, one big one being a magical school/apprenticeship that is going to change how she has viewed the world for her entire life.
but why i gave this volume four stars was truly because this has some of the most beautiful art i've ever seen. from castles, to trees, these panels were able to evoke so much emotion from me, so very unexpectedly. one of the most impressive mangakas i've ever laid m eyes upon, truly.
i am so thankful so many friends recommended this one to me. i couldn't resist already purchasing volume two!
trigger + content warnings: brief mention of loss of parent to illness in past, fire, hurt parent
“Because if I allow myself to be angry, I will never stop.”
i'll be completely honest with you, i adored the cover of this book, and it kept catchi
“Because if I allow myself to be angry, I will never stop.”
i'll be completely honest with you, i adored the cover of this book, and it kept catching my eye over and over, so i picked it up without knowing anything! i liked the story, but i didn't love the story, but i do believe the next book in this series will be even better. and i did really love and appreciate that one of the biggest themes of this book is getting your own agency back, no matter what, especially after years of someone forcing you through abuse to be codependent on them.
trigger + content warnings: blood, death, war, genocide, murder, invasion, slavery, kidnapping, abuse, torture, brief mention of animal death, mention of rape in past, self harm to get blood, mentions of suicide, vomit mentions, loss of a loved one in past, child death in past, grief, anxiety, possession / magical compulsion, gaslighting in past, a little bit of a medical/surgery setting, a lot of talk of scars + burns, snakes + insects
listen, i am always and forever going to love a bodyguard romance. And this second book in this series follows a best friend from 1.) Twisted Love ★★★
listen, i am always and forever going to love a bodyguard romance. And this second book in this series follows a best friend from book one, who also happens to be a princess, and she is getting a brand new bodyguard. things get even more complicated when her life truly takes an unexpected twist with her royal duties and obligations that she was very much not prepared for. oh, and someone might also be trying to sabotage her family’s throne, too!
our main character, princess bridget, was so easy to love and just be endeared by from the very first page. yet, the reason this book is getting three stars is because the love interest and new bodyguard, rhys (i should have known from the name lol) was just so immensely hard to root for. Obviously i felt empathy for him and his past, but my gosh he was just insufferable in the present for me. but the wild thing is, even though i didn’t like him, oh my gosh the sex scenes were really good. like really good. that throne scene was 11/10 (and iron flame is currently shaking) !!
overall, i had fun most of the time and i am happy i read this. and i really can’t wait to read even more from ana huang.
trigger + content warnings: talk of loss of parents in past, brief mention of losing a mother in child birth, paparazzi / unwanted photos and videos being taken (including a sexual video), abandonment, talk of time in military, ptsd, talk of loss of friends in past, kidnapping, mass shooting, gun violence, blood, hurt child, talk of overdose in past, hospital setting, talk of heart condition, alcohol consumption, child abuse in past / parental abuse in past
“Your enemies are my enemies, your friends are my friends, and if you wanted, I would burn down the world for you.”
Let me first say that i really
“Your enemies are my enemies, your friends are my friends, and if you wanted, I would burn down the world for you.”
Let me first say that i really did enjoy reading this and i could not put it down, but this was just not what I was expecting. Which is completely on me, but you’re going to see the trigger warning below and… I truly thought this was going to be a light little romance with a girl and her brother’s bestie and, again, there is no one to blame but myself for not looking at any reviews first, but whew this book got pretty heavy so many times. I still enjoyed it, I can’t wait to read more from this author, but I just don't know if I loved reading this first installment. But I also could not stop reading this and read it pretty much in two sittings, back to back, so I feel happy giving this a good three star rating. But this book heavily puts the childhood trauma for both of our main characters at the forefront of this story, so please use caution and make sure you're in a good head space.
trigger + content warnings: severe aquaphobia (fear of water), blood depictions, abuse/parental abuse, gaslighting, attempted murder, attempted harm to a child, death, murder, grief depiction, depression depiction, ptsd depiction, mention of ex cheating in the past, mention of marital infidelity, divorce, brief mention of sexual assault (not main character), harry potter reference, stalking, assault, unwanted touching, panic attacks, kidnapping, torture, suicide mention/overdose mention, bad nightmares, and loss of loved ones/family members.
[image] ARC provided by Tor - thank you so much !!
“The door wasn’t there because you have any obligations left to these people, or this world. It wa
[image] ARC provided by Tor - thank you so much !!
“The door wasn’t there because you have any obligations left to these people, or this world. It was there because sometimes people can’t let go of who they thought we were, and so they keep trying to tangle us in nets and drag us back. That doesn’t mean we have to go. Or if we do go, that doesn’t mean we have to stay.”
let me start this review with something that is probably going to make you all very happy and then something that might make you all not happy!
the happy: some of this book actually takes place in kade’s portal world (which i know i have been begging for since day one), and it was truly the most amazing glimpse that left the reader wanting so much more.
the unhappy: now… this did not bother me whatsoever, but basically it takes 100 pages until the reader gets to see a dinosaur in this book. and truly? it is a very small glimpse for maybe 20 pages? the cover of this one probably wasn’t the best choice, even though it is very beautiful.
okay let me actually type what this book is about! so i was very surprised when i started this, because it really does pick up right after the events of Lost in the Moment and Found, where we see antsy recounting things to eleanor, before she starts classes at the school. But then we get a six month jump, after the rescue mission of Where the Drowned Girls Go, and we get to see antsy with so many new and old beloved kids at this school. But once some people find out what magic antsy’s nexus has given her, our crew goes on a quest to protect her and the school at all costs.
all wayward children books have a different powerful message inside their amazing stories, and i feel like this installment’s was all about breaking cycles of abuse. from realizing healthy ways to feel safe and heal from abuse that was done to you in the past. to reclaiming a childhood that was taken from you, instead of feeling like you can repress the way the world made you grow up too quickly. to having a responsibility to protect children and the generations to come, and not use your abuse as an excuse to continue the cycles of abuse. And ultimately be able to listen, and grow, and be better, continuously and constantly. and I also think there is an underlying message too of how everyone heals from things differently, and we should allow people to heal and live how they want to live, and how there is no time limit on making different choices - just when you’re reading to make them.
overall, i had a good time with this one, but i didn’t love it as much as some of the other books in this series (especially with Lost in the Moment and Found being a five star read for me). but seeing antsy’s power and some different worlds (some we know, some we know about, some brand new) was so beyond cool. also, i just love sumi so very much.
trigger + content warnings: mentions of loss of parents & loved ones in the past, depression, grief, ptsd, nightmares, abandonment & loneliness, a one sentence brief mention that hints at disordered eating in the past, talk of colorism, mind altering magic, one sentence mention of chemotherapy in past, implied transphobia in past, implied mention of pedophile in past, mention of chronic pain, blood depiction, talk of death and murder, and just a lot of mentions of bad parenting and child abuse.
okay i am so not the target audience for this, and i still really loved it. and i was constantly surprised, which is something i didnt expect going inokay i am so not the target audience for this, and i still really loved it. and i was constantly surprised, which is something i didnt expect going in! but it did touch on some dark things, so i will post some tw/cw down below, but highly recommend this to anyone, even if you think it's not for you! (maybe especially if you think it's not for you!)
trigger + content warnings: mention of cheating in past, blood, abusive relationships, drugging attempt, mention of stalking, mention of sexual assault + rape, mention of taking photos without consent, mention of blackmail, very brief mention of trafficking, maybe a very brief mention of cancer ("the big c"), hurt/abandoned dog.
“...Maryse had finally learned, after five years as a medium, what the dead spoke of.”
nghi vo is one of my favorite authors, so i knew i would enjoy this short story from this collection. it was spooky, unsettling, and truly all the vibes were exactly what i look for in horror. we follow two people posing as mediums traveling in historical illinois, where they find themselves stranded at a very isolated school for young girls, in a really creepy and unsettling town, with a river that is holding dark secrets.
again, vo is such a talented writer that i felt like i was barely breathing while reading this and watching everything happen. This a very high three star from me, but upon finishing it just really left me wanting more in a good way, but also in a way that really makes me think this story would be better in a longer and more expandable format. i still fully recommend and i am still very curious about this collection of short stories.
trigger and content warnings: racism, blood depictions, murder, death, gore, + maybe choking (the writing is so good and descriptive, it made me feel it a little hehe)
“Welcome home. Welcome back. We missed you. I missed you more than I should have, more than I wanted to. I went to hell for you. I’d do it again.”
a reminder that 3 star ratings aren't bad ratings hehehe! i enjoyed this, i just didn't love it the way i wish i did... but that's okay because i still had a really good time turning these pages! this is still such a powerful series, and i can't wait for whatever book three has in store! <3
trigger + content warnings: loss of a loved one, blood depictions, abuse, mentions of rape in past, murder, death, gore, panic attacks, fire, talk of attempted suicide, talk of suicide, self harm for blood for magic, possession and compulsion, bullying, brief mentions of overdosing, drugs, drugs use, police brutality, cancer mention, vomiting, heat attack mention, animal death, talk of electric shock therapy, mentions of bugs/maggots/spiders, and very bad and abusive relationships with people and with parents in the past. this book can get very dark at times and has constant themes of abuse - please use caution while reading and make sure you're in a good space for it in your life.
“He kissed the center of each of your palms, precisely where the priest said the Savior suffered the nails to be driven.”
in the last 24 hours, i have heard nothing but people screaming their love for this on social media… even including kpop social media circles! it has been a very long time since i have seen a story spread so quickly, with such high praise, via word of mouth before. so i knew i had to pick it up and see if these thirty pages were going to be literary life changing, and… you all were very right. this really is a heartfelt masterpiece.
i feel like i keep saying this in my mini reviews lately, but i do believe it would be best to go into this not knowing anything, because i really believe this helped my enjoyment of this short story. i do have some trigger and content warnings down below if you want/need them, but besides those - i highly recommend just picking this book up without looking at reviews until after you finish!
this is a very beautiful and emotion evoking story about a girl trying to feel needed, to feel seen, to feel love, to feel like she is not nothing, to feel anything that is real. but love can be exceptionally hard, especially when you enter into this world not knowing what love is. while also slowly figuring out what you will do in the name of it, mixed with the overwhelming feelings we all have of wanting to leave something behind, but to also belong so desperately in the time we are presently here.
but we are more than being tools for other people, but especially for their cruelty and destruction. and when we are truly loved and truly seen… that’s really the most powerful magic of all stories. we can be the saints of so many things, if we only allow ourselves to be.
“I wonder what the songs will say about the Devil now that she is covered in the blood of her own God.”
the writing is perfect, and these thirty pages of heartfelt pain and love will truly leave you feeling dizzy in the best way possible. this is a perfect example of why i love short fiction and how it can be so very powerful and inspiring.
“And you understood, finally, that there had never truly been a she or a you but only a terrible, lonely I.”
content + trigger warnings: war, battle, violence, a lot of blood depiction, gore, nightmares, codependency depiction, exploitation depiction, sickness/child sickness, medical things, death, child death, drowning, + suicide.
“If anyone were to claim greater happiness in their careers than I do in poking about sunlit wildwoods for faerie footprints, I should not believe
“If anyone were to claim greater happiness in their careers than I do in poking about sunlit wildwoods for faerie footprints, I should not believe it.”
A woman who has been in love with the fae all her life and is taking us along on her academic research with the encyclopedia she is currently writing about them and her experiences with them? Oh, what more could I possibly ask for friends? Actually the life i wish i could have if i was around in 1909. This is also told epistolary style, with a lot of field notes, but a lot of stories, and some unexpected entries as well. But this was just a book that really worked for me and my reading wheelhouse (and heart). There is a little romance too that is also very sweet and again… the field notes are just so good. We also get to travel to some fae realms to solve a mystery that did get a little dark - so please use caution. Like, there are a lot of cozy vibes and moments and settings (omg did i love the market too) in this, but, again, there are a lot of darker themes and the story takes showing the dark faery side of things!
But i am really and truly begging for a book two.
trigger + content warnings: mention of loss of a loved one in past, mention of suicide very briefly twice, talk of kidnapping + actual kidnapping, violence, blood, gore, vomit, animal violence + death, child abandonment, spider mentions
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