uh, guys...i'm definitely with you and everything...absolutely one of the cool kids, having the popular opinion, agreeing with the mainstream, etc...buh, guys...i'm definitely with you and everything...absolutely one of the cool kids, having the popular opinion, agreeing with the mainstream, etc...but um. just remind me.
why do we not like this book?
the average rating is 3.5. and i totally get it. but for argument's sake, or just for laughs or whatever...explain it to me like i enjoyed it.
as if, for example, this was so funny and weird and magical and emotional.
i will admit that for the first, like, 200 pages, it was an absolute chore to pick up. i dreaded it. i could only make myself do it by sandwiching chapters between chapters of other books i wasn't really enjoying (otherwise there was no way i was returning to it).
matters were made worse by the fact that i was reading an ebook with a tiny font, meaning i had to read 4 normal-sized pages for what counted as 1 page, and by the end my laptop was so overwhelmed it required 10 seconds to turn those pages, and 10 seconds is actually a long time if you think about it in that context, the context being that this book is 637 pages long. so, to me, 2,548 pages.
i now understand sisyphus completely.
but at some point, my feelings did a 180. even when i was reading books i liked, or listening to enjoyable audiobooks, or picking up my most anticipated read of the year, or even - gasp - watching tiktoks...i kind of always low level wanted to be reading this.
it's that good.
it's very one of a kind: three kids die and come back, and there's a death-like figurehead and a magical music teacher and a cursed splinter and a moon woman and a haunting carousel and a child named carousel. there's an unforgettable unrealistic town. there's a series of weird annoying romances. there are twists and laughs and tragedies, and all of them made me actually feel something, which - to those of you who know my whole thing - is not nothing. (see: my cold dark chunk of christmas coal of a heart.)
when i got past the rock-pushing task of the page count and the brain-murdering task of the first third, i had a really good time.
that's not nothing, either.
bottom line: i'm having the fun kind of unpopular opinion again.
4.5
------------------------- tbr review
me at a horror movie: :) me at a haunted house: :) me at a long book: AHHHHHHHHHH
things nicolas cage and jo firestone have in common: - national treasure
this is funny and if you ever have an opportunity to have jo firestone read alothings nicolas cage and jo firestone have in common: - national treasure
this is funny and if you ever have an opportunity to have jo firestone read aloud a reality tv-show based cozy mystery involving murder, jell-o, and fake teeth, i recommend you take it.
even if it doesn't quite stick the landing, more cozy mysteries should be like this.
halle said this book is the 70s equivalent of sally rooney, and she was completely right.
this is the kind of book that is so enjoyable for every seconhalle said this book is the 70s equivalent of sally rooney, and she was completely right.
this is the kind of book that is so enjoyable for every second it makes you want to go back and lower the rating of everything you've read of late.
it is so funny and so precise and so clever, and a page will have a random unshakable description that is so goddamn weird and right. i fell completely in love with these characters and with this book, and as the end of it approached i read slower and slower in the hopes i'd discover 100 or so pages had been stuck together and hiding.
this satisfied two of my driving forces in this life: a) my desire for everything i ever encounter to be funny, and b) my need for gossip. it'hot dog!
this satisfied two of my driving forces in this life: a) my desire for everything i ever encounter to be funny, and b) my need for gossip. it's essentially a hot dog-filled memoir, like if a pretty amusing person you know did an incredibly specific quest and recounted the quest to you but mostly told you salacious life updates in doing so.
which is a dream.
i also found out while reading this that my boyfriend went to high school with the author, which was both another source of gossip and the biggest reveal i could possibly imagine.
Cookies are my favorite food, and yet I am extremely picky about them. I'm a Phoebe Bridgers fan. I am the dreaded rarity that It's not easy being me.
Cookies are my favorite food, and yet I am extremely picky about them. I'm a Phoebe Bridgers fan. I am the dreaded rarity that is a blonde adult.
And I hate writing positive reviews.
In some ways, I make this easier for myself, due to the fact that I am so critical, hateful, and generally unpleasant that it happens as infrequently as possible.
But this is a double-edged sword, because I also have no reason to ever attempt to hone or even improve this skill.
Here we find ourselves. I have to write at length (because if I'm one thing besides difficult, it's verbose) about a perfect book.
This is a nightmare situation for me.
And even worse: THIS BOOK MADE ME CRY. A lot! Lately I've been tearing up at endings a lot, probably due to some hormonal imbalance or debilitating illness and definitely not emotion (I don't have those). But this was not a glamorous single tear sliding down my cheek.
This was a full-on ugly cry. From me. I only cry twice a year: at my annual rewatch of About Time, and when I am somehow held down or arrested and unable to prevent myself from listening to the song The Luckiest / watching an animal video / thinking too hard about a nice tweet I saw four months ago.
How do I write about THAT.
This is my favorite kind of story, one about how hard it can be to be alive in an on-fire world with a semi nonfunctioning brain, but also about how beautiful life is, how wonderful people are. This book is very funny, and very sad, and above all so lovely.
I don't know what to say beyond that.
Can't the five stars speak for themselves???
Bottom line: I will never get better at being nice. But this book deserves me to be.
---------------- pre-review
i am ashamed to admit this, but:
i am sobbing right now.
review to come / 5 stars
---------------- currently-reading updates
this book is about me (girl in therapy and being weird about it)
---------------- tbr review
when i see a title like that, all i can do is hit that want to read button...more
"Women want to be loved like roses. They spend hours perfecting their eyebrows and toes and inventing irresistible curls that fall by accident down th"Women want to be loved like roses. They spend hours perfecting their eyebrows and toes and inventing irresistible curls that fall by accident down the back of their necks from otherwise austere hairdos. They want their lover to remember the way they held a glass. They want to haunt."
have you ever read anything so perfect in your life?
that's just a goddamn random paragraph of this.
this book is so funny, so striking, gripped me from the first line, not even 200 pages but feels immersive, like everything, just excellent, eve babitz forever.
bottom line: a book so good it reduced me to babble.
--------------- currently-reading updates
cool girl summer
--------------- tbr review
treat people with kindness. you never know what they're going through. for example, every day i have to resist the urge to buy every book in this edition...more
Merry Christmas! My gift to all of you is the following: - holiday spirit year round - the ability to gently smile anytime you want - the greatest televiMerry Christmas! My gift to all of you is the following: - holiday spirit year round - the ability to gently smile anytime you want - the greatest television show ever to air - an inescapable affinity for the Buffalo Bills.
All you have to do is google Joe Pera. Or read this book.
A lot has already been made of the wonder of Joe Pera's comedy, in New York Times profiles and on countless podcasts and in a bajillion tweets with between 1 and 4 likes, but not enough, if you ask me, has been written on this hellsite.
And this hellsite is my specialty.
Joe Pera has a quiet, kind sense of humor that almost escapes you before you laugh just in time. His show is nonsensical and perfect, made for soft-spoken people and introverts and weirdos, without having the horrible cringey pat-yourself-on-the-back style of most content in that niche.
I kind of can't even describe it to you, really. If you like people, and long for the simplicity of a bygone era, and are sometimes (or all the time) shy, and bean arches are something you could spend between 10 minutes and a year's worth of time on, interest wise, you're in the right place.
But basically, to everyone - welcome! And read this book.
Bottom line: It's taking everything in me to give up on the idea of gatekeeping Joe Pera.
----------------- pre-review
i love joe pera and i love this book.
review to come / 4.5 stars
----------------- currently-reading updates
i think being at an event so uncomfortable that you have to hide in the bathroom qualifies as "spooky"
clear ur shit prompt 9: a spooky book follow my progress here
----------------- tbr review
there is nothing i love in this life more than the comedic stylings of Joe Pera. except for books.
For example: I would have thought I knew what I wanted from this book. Before I read it, I had an idea of it. WhiIt turns out I don't know everything.
For example: I would have thought I knew what I wanted from this book. Before I read it, I had an idea of it. While I was reading it, I thought I knew how it would go. And as I approached the ending, I thought I knew how I wanted things to finish.
I was wrong about ALL OF IT.
This was a million times cleverer and funnier and one-of-a-kind brilliant whatever than anything my dumb old brain could come up with.
For once I am not in the right, and for even rarer I am okay with that.
Bottom line: Listen to Kiley Reid, not me!
-------------- pre-review
literally, i'm sitting here silently typing this pre-review, but metaphorically and still in a very real way, i'm screaming forever because of this.
review to come / 4.5 stars
-------------- tbr review
love to read the book everyone was reading ages after everyone's already read it...more
Attention to the following things: - raindrops on roses - whiskers on kittens - bright copper kettles - warm woolen mittens - etc.
You are officially ON NOTAttention to the following things: - raindrops on roses - whiskers on kittens - bright copper kettles - warm woolen mittens - etc.
Because you can no longer qualify as a few of ANYONE'S favorite things when Sarah Hogle is writing romance novels.
I almost never love anything. The idea of wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings can hardly bring even the ghost of a smile to my evil face. My average rating on this godforsaken website has been under three stars for more than three years. I eat pain for breakfast. And those are just three examples.
But one thing I did love is Sarah Hogle's debut, You Deserve Each Other. In fact, I loved it so much that I read it like a million times (okay, four, but honestly that's almost as shocking) and felt Emotion and Pangs To The Heart and Butterflies and otherwise feelings that tend to be the stuff of my nightmares every time.
And since lightning doesn't strike twice (lightning in this case being me acting like a normal person), I assumed this would be a three and a half star read, tops. Because I do not deserve happiness and have presumably been cursed by some sort of witch or creature with haunting capabilities or mean anthropomorphic pond dweller to ensure it.
And this isn't a five star read.
But it's pretty close.
I tend to like a little hatefulness in my romance novels. A little darkness. A little b*tchiness. That's why You Deserve Each Other, a book with several top reviews that are like "why are this people so mean," worked for me SO well.
And this is a VERY sweet book. A little too much so, for me. I like a daydreamer or a sweetiepie as much as the next person, but as it turns out I draw the line at elaborate romance-novel-within-a-romance-novel AUs.
But this is fun anyway.
Bottom line: Cure for cynicism discovered by Sarah Hogle! Yours for the low low price of like...under $20, or something. I don't know. It's worth it.
------------------ reread update
this particular reread was not EXACTLY what i needed, but this book was the first time i read it, so i'm (mostly) leaving the review and only dropping it a star.
also, when you're comparing something to the perfect romance, it's hard for anything to live up to it.
------------------ pre-review
a few things: 1) while reading this, i pressed my hand to my heart on multiple occasions, like an affronted victorian woman 2) i feel like my emotions and brain and soul just went through a blender, which it turns out is a good feeling 3) i might cry???? 4) i think this is the best romance i've ever read.
review to come / 5 STARS!!!!!!!
------------------ tbr review
I AM HOLDING MY MOST ANTICIPATED BOOK OF THE YEAR IN MY HANDS....more
The thing about this book is that it is cotton candy-level, cavity-threatening, headache-inducing type sweet, and simultaneously very sad and real andThe thing about this book is that it is cotton candy-level, cavity-threatening, headache-inducing type sweet, and simultaneously very sad and real and filled with the most upsetting things about being alive.
A real whirlwind.
If you are in the right mood for this book (which I was when I started it), then it is a whimsical, amusing, life-affirming journey to becoming an optimist.
But if you are not (which I suddenly shapeshifted into at some point), it is arduous to get through and kind of annoying.
I personally prefer the version of myself that enjoyed this book, but unfortunately that version of myself only stuck around for a day or less and left the more powerful version of me to wade through this for the following 6 days.
Still, I'd like to be an optimist. So...3.5 stars.
But rounded down. I'm not Mary goddamn Poppins.
Bottom line: Depends on whether you're nice or not!
-------------------- currently-reading updates
not sure at this point if i'm even capable of reading without lily
-------------------- tbr review
insert joke about this being about multiple copies of Me...more
A fun fact about this book is that it is the funniest, the most interesting, the unique-est, and the most underrated book of all time.
If I need to dedA fun fact about this book is that it is the funniest, the most interesting, the unique-est, and the most underrated book of all time.
If I need to dedicate my life to forming various legitimate-seeming committees and subcommittees and awards ceremonies and aliases in order to convince people of that fact, so be it. I am willing to make screaming from the rooftops on the subject of this my sole purpose.
This is just the best. I slumped so hard after reading it because I couldn't imagine finding any book that brought me the joy that this brought me - and then I remembered that there's a sequel, and I promptly bought it both in paperback and as an ebook - and then I remembered that Shirley Jackson, in a truly nonsensical and evil act, is no longer with us, and therefore once I read the sequel I will be plumb out of nonfiction memoirs about her demon children growing up in Vermont.
And I just am not prepared to live that lifestyle yet.
Bottom line: Subcommittee-forming it is.
----------------- pre-review
sometimes i go so long without truly enjoying a book from first page to last that i forget how to even rate them.
review to come / 4.5!!!!
----------------- tbr review
there's a distinct possibility i'm in love with shirley jackson...more
This is the best version-of-Taylor-Jenkins-Reid-that-writes-chick-lit-about-marriage-scenarios-that-make-my-brain-and-heart-hurt book.
(As opposed to This is the best version-of-Taylor-Jenkins-Reid-that-writes-chick-lit-about-marriage-scenarios-that-make-my-brain-and-heart-hurt book.
(As opposed to the current TJR, the version that writes exclusively historical fiction about empowered women in rarely-written-about eras of the second half of the 20th century.)
I would know, because I read all of them in like a week.
This subgenre that is wholly dominated by TJR is so addictive that it tricked me into thinking I was out of my reading slump. This was a month ago. I'm still not out of it. I'm in the slump of my life and yet I COULD NOT STOP reading these books.
This is a heartwrenching nightmare, but also the characters are funny and fun and there are a lot of cinnamon roll descriptions.
So it balances.
Bottom line: Current historical TJR's books are better, but man oh man they do not have that concerningly addictive drug pizzazz.
--------------
if making me like books more than i expected to was a game, taylor jenkins reid would be undefeated.
review to come / 3.5 stars
--------------
there's a character in this who works in a hospital who collects the hair ties he finds on the ground there.
i'm sure there are also other things happening in this book, but i wouldn't know, because i now devote 100% of my time to being grossed out by that.
--------------
for too long i've decided on what to read by "whether the plot sounds like something i could possibly be interested in for even a second" or "if this book sounds like a full-on nightmare or not" but no more!
I am unable to tell you any sort of “plot.” I cannot give you an “idea” of the “narrative.” If you request Please do not ask me to describe this book.
I am unable to tell you any sort of “plot.” I cannot give you an “idea” of the “narrative.” If you request any sort of summary or synopsis of what goes down in these pages, my brain will explode and none of us will win.
But I can tell you it’s a delight.
Nothing really happens in this at all. There’s no story. There’s very little character development. The romance kind of falls together. Friends bicker but not in any real way.
Overall if you confidently told me this was under 90 pages long I’d be like “Oh! That makes more sense.”
And yet I thought this was a blast.
The characters are lovely! Sure, maybe they all fall between the ages of 18 and 20, but it’s like you know what, fine, no development needs to happen here, you guys are great the way you are. Just be adolescent forever. See if I care!!!
(Feeling like the degree to which I earnestly like this book is coming off as sarcastic, which...not an awesome impression I’m giving here on the ol’ internet.)
I also read a good amount of rom-coms, but I feel like the “com” in that term has a lot more to do with “does not include an unrelenting tide of trauma/death/angst that’s not the good kind of angst where you’re like ‘oh my god just kiss already,’” rather than actual humor.
But this one was truly funny! And charming! Hurray.
There were also so many lovely little details in this book that media rarely talks about, like really serious acne. Or low self-esteem. Or being from Australia.
This was just so refreshing.
Bottom line: I want to read a million more books by this author. Or at least three, immediately.
The best things in the world are as follows: - when you perfectly toast a bagel. I mean we all know how easy it is to underdo that bad boy so it’s stilThe best things in the world are as follows: - when you perfectly toast a bagel. I mean we all know how easy it is to underdo that bad boy so it’s still a weird squishy bread circle or even more likely, burn that baby till it’s glorified charcoal but when you really find that sweet spot...(chef’s kiss) - baking cookies and then eating them while they’re still warm, and then you eat a whole tray because if you made them they don’t count as caloric - genuine, believable enemies to lovers where you really feel them fall in love and also it’s funny and also everything is perfect.
Aka this book.
Because I am extremely picky about books and am disappointed by most of what I read, I like to do this very adorable and charming thing where when I like one thing, I assume I will like everything that is similar to it.
I very much enjoyed The Hating Game (possibly to an extent in which I compared myself both to a jack o’lantern and a gif from Disney’s Tangled in my review, I don’t know, who’s to say), and so I assumed I would like every rom-com. Especially ones that were actually funny.
Especially-especially of the enemies to lovers.
And, like the new Star Wars movie and orange-flavored Skittles and every other disappointing thing, that was not to be.
But finally, FINALLY, my suffering has been rewarded.
Because...dare I say it…
This book is better than The Hating Game.
I KNOW.
Look at us. Hey! Look at us. Who would’ve thought?
Not me.
This is The Hating Game in terms of tropes and plot and the overall yay-falling-in-love feeling it gives off, but with better characters. And more humor.
GOD. This is so funny it doesn’t make sense. Since when are books funny? When was the last time I truly laughed at a book and I wasn’t laughing out of all the anger and hatred in my cold dark soul?
Not sure. Well before this, I’ll tell you that.
But it wasn’t just a barrel of laughs my friends. It also made my heart hurt, but in the good emotional way where you’re like, oh my god...fools...just love each other...kiss already...except also don’t because the drama and conflict and miscommunication and will-they-won’t-they (they will) is the fun part.
Basically what I’m saying is: I don’t know how to love anything without being obsessed with it, and I already want to read this eleven more times.
Bottom line: I didn’t play Animal Crossing for this! ANIMAL CROSSING!!!
-------------- project 5 star update
welcome back to PROJECT 5 STAR, a project in which i revisit all the books i've ever given five stars, mostly out of cynicism and masochism, but in this case just as an excuse to reread the most perfect romance novel of all time.
simply rereading this so i can write a kickass review and not because i've been searching for a reason
-------------- pre-review
please don't tell anyone i burst into tears at the gushy part of this book. it'll ruin my bad-boy image.
review to come / POSSIBLY FIVE STARS
-------------- tbr review
just saw this quote from this book: “I’m a miserable cynic (a newer development) and a dreamy romantic (always have been), and it’s such a terrible combination that I don’t know how to tolerate myself” and instantly started reading it because girl if that ain't me...more
Heaven, hell, demons, angels, a ragtag group of children, witch-hunters, witches, Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, and the Antichrist all teamed up to maHeaven, hell, demons, angels, a ragtag group of children, witch-hunters, witches, Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett, and the Antichrist all teamed up to make this book happen.
And a readathon, a discount book-selling website, the buzz from a streaming-service television adaptation, boredom, poor decision-making, and a lack of social life had to come together to get me to read it.
And it turned out pretty good.
In spite of those long lists, the pacing of this was kind of clunky and odd. You'd think a book about the homoerotic enemies to friends/lovers? relationship between an angel and a demon with the rapidly approaching Antichrist-inspired apocalypse in the background would be, at the very least, a nonstop excitement rollercoaster.
Regrettably you would be just a little bit wrong.
This is, on the whole, very funny and fun, but it is also intermittently quite boring. This is because this book indulges in a dreadful habit known in certain villainous circles as "multiple perspectives," which means that sometimes you are hanging out with characters you enjoy and they are bantering and goofing and crazy hijinks-ing and then right when the going gets good, boom.
You are in the English countryside with a group of children.
C'est la vie, but in my opinion this whole thing would be better if children didn't exist.
You decide whether I mean this book or this life.
Bottom line: The most disappointing still-recommended read of my lifetime! I'll survive.
3.5
---------------------
hard to say which i could use more at the moment: anything written by neil gaiman, or a good omen.
i'm going with both!
clear ur shit prompt 6: steal a book from someone's tbr follow my progress here...more
I love her so much that I knew if this book even made me think about her, I’d be a fan, but it did way more than that. I felt like I love Jenny Slate.
I love her so much that I knew if this book even made me think about her, I’d be a fan, but it did way more than that. I felt like I was in what appears to be the single most magical non-fictional place in all the world: inside Jenny Slate’s brain.
If you have so much as watched an interview of hers, it’s immediately clear that she sees the world in a way that is totally unique to her. It is such a gift to be able to see that perspective for 304 pages.
She uses language differently. Words are lovely and flowerlike and carefully selected. Images are clear and breathtaking. This is an extraordinary thing.
Now, for a small request.
I would like every book I read to be written by Jenny Slate, thanks very much.
Okay, fine, compromise. I at least would like her to write 100 more books.
I got one dose of the beautiful starlike lens through which she perceives everything and just one look through her perception is not going to cover it please and thank you.
This was so gorgeous that when I finished it I immediately wanted to restart.
Also now I want to again.
Bottom line: This is a perfect little book.
---------------- project 5 star
welcome back to PROJECT 5 STAR, an event in which i revisit books i used to love and see if i still do out of masochism or completionism or...something.
i feel (gag) hopeful about this one.
update: not to worry. STILL FIVE
---------------- pre-review
while i was reading this, i had to stop for a moment, close it, put it down, take a breath, and whisper to myself: oh, my gosh. i love this so much.
review to come / 5 stars
---------------- currently-reading updates
i am 11 pages into this book and i already know i've never read anything like it in all my life.
---------------- tbr review
i love jenny slate and i can't wait to have this book in my brain....more
It is taking...everything I have not to stop writing this review and pick up this book instead.
I could justify it so easiHAPPY FALL!!!
----------------
It is taking...everything I have not to stop writing this review and pick up this book instead.
I could justify it so easily. “Just refreshing the ol’ memory,” I could say. “It’ll take less than an hour. And think of the review! Masterful, probably.”
Wow, I am really convincing myself. THIS IS DIFFICULT.
This was exactly what I wanted it to be. I wanted to read this book desperately that on release day, I dragged myself to Target (by which I mean journeyed out to Target with great delight because that place is the best), and when Target didn’t have it, I did the unthinkable.
I went to the dreaded Books-A-Million in the mall, which I hate because a) it’s small, b) it’s weirdly dark, c) the employees are overbearing in a way that borders on unsettling, like YOU’RE BOOK PEOPLE TOO YOU SHOULD KNOW I DON’T WANT THIS, and d) the books are so expensive that it seems like they’re adding on to list price.
And they didn’t even have it either.
Anyway, eventually (after an excruciating wait), I got this book, and oh boy was it worth it.
What I wanted: - autumn-ness - trademark Rainbow Rowell Banter & Chemistry - friendship - delicious treats - pretty art - cuteness
I got all that in HEAPS.
This is probably the most charming book I’ve ever read? It’s so funny and cute, and the characters are so lovely, and the little world of the pumpkin patch is a goddamn delight.
The first time, I read this fast because it’s addictive, and the second time, I read it slow because it’s filled with lovely little Easter eggs and funny things and turns of expression on the characters’ faces and wowow.
It’s just perfection.
Bottom line: As a reward for writing this review, I’m going to reread the book now.
--------------- reread 4
i have been in one of the reading slumps of my life, but then my guardian angel (presumably) gave me an idea...
IT'S BASICALLY FALL IN MY HEAD AND THAT MEANS IT'S TIME FOR THIS SLUMP-KILLER.
update: it worked? maybe? at least it was fun and delicious.
--------------- reread 3
phew. i almost let fall pass without rereading this book
--------------- reread 2
i read this book, and then i took a day, and then i read it again.
do i want to read it again already? naturally.
--------------- reread 1
i'm reading it again.
yes, it's been 2 days.
--------------- pre-review
I LOVE THIS BOOK AND I WANT TO LIVE INSIDE IT.
but i will settle for rereading it immediately.
--------------- tbr review I AM READY FOR FALL AND I AM READY FOR THIS BOOK...more
F. Scott Fitzgerald. J.D. Salinger. Hemingway. All you boring old white guys whose various books about boring white guys are often touted as "the greaF. Scott Fitzgerald. J.D. Salinger. Hemingway. All you boring old white guys whose various books about boring white guys are often touted as "the great American novel" - sorry.
You lost to a woman writing about women in the nineteen-effing-twenties.
This book (or two books, really) is so ahead of its time and so funny. I can't believe it came out in 1927. I didn't know women were writing like this in 1927! And being published! And critically acclaimed!
It's rad.
Better than the movie, and I didn't even know the movie was based on a book. (Sorry. Embarrassing. Revoke my bookworm card.)
Bottom line: I know probably this isn't underrated in the Literary Canon...but I'm still going to call it underrated so you read it.
------------ pre-review
going to take my life's inspiration from this and start calling myself a "professional lady" (when the profession i mean is gold digging)
review to come / 4 stars
------------ tbr review
i wonder how i'll feel about this book, as someone who does not care what men prefer or do...more
I have definitely said this before, but I don’t know if you’ve really HEARD me. And they say actions speak louder than words, soI am a soulless void.
I have definitely said this before, but I don’t know if you’ve really HEARD me. And they say actions speak louder than words, so here I am.
Taking this book, which everyone has hailed as pure joy / cookie-level sweetness / the greatest romance of our generation even though it’s fictional / overall so happiness-bringing it seems like it should be relegated to black market dealings…
Rereading it...and dropping a three point five rating (already gives a Scrooge-like aura of grumpiness) to...two point five. (DON’T HURT ME.)
And generally being so discombobulated and displeased that I have to write a whole new review.
(If you know anything about me, you know I am too lazy to write multiple reviews of one book unless the circumstances are truly life-ending-ly dire. That’s where we’re at.)
This just. Did not do it for me.
Let’s talk about why, in bullet points, so as to hopefully limit my wordiness and therefore limit how mad at me you guys will be (please don’t yell at me I am already heartless and depressed):
- THE ROMANCE: First time I read this, I felt like the human equivalent of a waffle. Sweet and fluffy and, uh, delicious. (I didn’t have a third one.) This time, the plot (which is just romance) never grabbed my attention, and the cheesy love story...grated. (Get it? Because cheese? Come on, now you can’t yell at me. That was too good.)
- THE SMUT: Okay, I’ll admit this is personal preference. I don’t like when there’s too much smut in a book. That’s a me problem, however, and usually I will remedy it by just not reading it. However if I had skipped all explicit scenes in this book, I would only have a pamphlet trying to get me to join the fictional perfect glorified Democratic Party in my hands. (But more on that later.) Anyway, a romance that is 99% either sexting or sex is not convincing or fun for me. Sorry.
- THE CHARACTERS: I love Bex or Bea (I think it’s Bea), and I love Henry’s friend whose name I can’t remember (is it Pez? Or is that just a candy), I love June and Nora so much I would marry them, and also remember their names, which is apparently high praise for me. Henry and Alex, however...I hate very much. They are annoying. Alex is obnoxious and made me feel like either a) a person with a hangover yelling at the still-drunk people to shut up or b) a grumpy old man telling snot-nosed children from the 1950s to get out of his yard. Henry is just boring.
- THE POLITICS: This is, by far, the WORST thing about this book. It’s what got my first read to drop from presumably 5 to 3.5. Single-handedly. And it’s even more gruesome the second time. This is the most idealized, grotesque, good-versus-evil look at politics I have EVER SEEN. In this book, the Democrats are a rainbow-wearing gloriously diverse coalition of kumbaya-singing angels, and everyone else is a villain we won’t talk about. Democrats are 100% motivated purely by the love of Doing The Right Thing, and they have never done anything wrong, ever, in their lives. The American people love them implicitly and will turn historically red states blue just to show them that.
It’s not only sickening, it’s damaging. DO NOT IDEALIZE POLITICIANS. THEY ARE NOT CELEBRITIES. Don’t you think I want to get EMMA + AOC tattooed on my lower back? I do. But I won’t because she is a person who is driven to power, and all of those people have flaws.
In the interest of full transparency, I am a leftist, so I by definition think the Democrats are a little better than the Republicans. But I mostly think that glorifying parties is f*cked up and wrong, and results in things like sainting Pelosi and falling in love with Fauci and generally being unable to hold people accountable for doing their job (which is representing you), and therefore results in corruption and useless politicians and the end of the world.
Dramatic enough for a stopping point?
Bottom line: Before you guys start yelling at me, can anyone refer me to a good dentist? I got a cavity in every tooth from how saccharine this book is.
-------------------- reread pre-review
rounding this rating down because the overall political fanfiction vibe is a lot harder to ignore on round 2.
potential updated review to come / was 3.5 stars, might be 3 now
---------- reread updates
starting the year as i mean to go on: buddy reading with lily
-------------------- original review
THIS IS THE CUTEST FLUFFIEST BOOK ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET.
This made me...blush? And I famously cannot blush. One time my high school English teacher overheard me saying I didn’t do the assigned reading and he called me out in front of the whole class, and I, like a tiny badass (pretending my heart wasn’t pounding and I wasn’t more nervous than I’ve ever been), was like “Yeah, I’m not trying to hide anything. I didn’t do the reading.” And he, taken aback, went, “...You’re not even blushing.”
So, to recap: me, a school-obsessed profoundly shy 15-year-old being called out in front of all her very cool peers by her scary old man teacher = no blushing.
The sheer adorableness of this book = Blush City, population me.
CASEY MCQUISTON IS A STAR.
This book has: - amazing banter - the best side characters - fantastic friendships - so much humor (I laughed! At a book! When does that HAPPEN!) - tons of angst (actually too much angst sometimes - I got a little tired of this book towards the end) - a great meet cute (except not actually a meeting. A re-meet-cute? Can I coin a term?) - the best idea for a forbidden / enemies-to-lovers romance EVER!!! No exaggeration.
So, in short, Casey McQuiston is, after just one book, a complete auto-buy author for me.
However.
This was not a perfect book. And in truth it made me cringe many times.
Like, yes, on the one hand everyone is right and this is the cutest, fluffiest, most fun read of all time.
On the other hand...I do not want my politics to be cute-fluffy-fun. I do not want them to be revisionist history where the current administration is absurdly well motivated and diverse and perfect and there is no corruption or back-hallway negotiation at all. It’s not realistic and to be honest, it makes me cringe.
If I wanted an idealized-to-the-point-of-unbelievability fictional American president, I’d watch the West Wing and ignore the bigoted parts.
I also think the scene with the Queen of England was Cringe Central. Again, not realistic, just completely good politics versus completely bad politics depending on which better serves the plot.
This just felt...very juvenile. And I’m not saying that romance novels need to have the best ever take on politics. I’m not even saying that I was reading this book FOR the politics.
All I’m saying is...I care about politics and seeing it idealized and completely unrealistic took me out of the story??
(Can I say the word politics more.)
Anyway. Even that was not enough to take away from this book so much for it to be a negative rating or an unenjoyable read.
But...it was a takeaway. (SORRY.)
Bottom line: Casey McQuiston give me your next book immediately please, and also thank you for not writing it about politics. (OKAY I’M DONE USING THE WORD POLITICS NOW.)
-------------------- original pre-review
nothing but respect for MY (alternate reality where the fictional president from this book is the actual) president
review to come / 3.5 stars
-------------------- tbr review
i'm a simple girl. i see a bajillion five star reviews of a contemporary, i read that contemporary...more