I remember loving, as a kid, a comic book called “Dial ‘H’ For Hero”. It was about these two kids who, whenever their town needed a superhero, they diI remember loving, as a kid, a comic book called “Dial ‘H’ For Hero”. It was about these two kids who, whenever their town needed a superhero, they dialed an old rotary phone that would magically turn them into a superhero. They’d be weird superheroes, too, with powers that were kind of ridiculous, like shooting ketchup and mustard from their fingers, or being able to turn into smoke or inflating into a giant beach ball and bouncing everywhere. And they’d never be the same superhero twice. I guess that was the charm and appeal of the comic book.
Well, apparently, in 2012, DC Comics brought the title back with the writing talents of China Mieville, an award-winning British science fiction/fantasy author. Potential goldmine, right?
Here’s my problem: best-selling novelists who try their hands at writing for comic books don’t always do well in the transition. Jodi Picoult, Jonathon Lethem, Brad Meltzer, and even Stephen King have all written comic books, to varying degrees of success. Generally, I have found that novel-writing is a very different animal than comic book writing. Sometimes, what makes a great novel doesn’t always make a great comic book, and vice versa.
That said, Mieville’s “Dial H” is, at the very least, intriguing. It’s also darkly humorous, especially with the weird array of superheroes. My favorites: Boy Chimney, a Jack Skellington look-alike with a long top hat that belches smoke; Captain Lachrymose, a sad superhero whose superpower is to incapacitate villains by bringing to mind their most tragic and heart-breaking memories; and Cock-a-Hoop, a giant hula hoop with the head and wings of a chicken. There’s a helluva lot more, too.
I won’t bore you with a plot synopsis, because, Really? There’s a superhero named Cock-a-Hoop that is literally a hula hoop with the head and wings of a chicken. Do you even care about the story?
As weird as this is, I will probably read the second volume....more
The world’s gone to Hell in a hand basket, and the only think that can save it is Swamp Thing. Like, Duh…
Jeff Lemire’s “Swamp Thing: Green Hell” is a The world’s gone to Hell in a hand basket, and the only think that can save it is Swamp Thing. Like, Duh…
Jeff Lemire’s “Swamp Thing: Green Hell” is a pretty depressing look at a very believable future for the human race: devastation from massive natural disasters brought on by global warming, global drought and starvation, a majority of the population wiped out by warfare.
The Parliaments have all pretty much given up on humanity because humanity gave up on them decades ago. What’s left of the Parliaments have decided to just eradicate the small pockets of humanity left on Earth.
A grizzled, ancient John Constantine (who still wears a trench coat and tie and manages to always have a pack of cigarettes) summons Swampy from his protective secret garden where he and his wife, Abby, and their daughter, Tefe, live sequestered from the rest of the world. Swampy’s pissed, but he’s more surprised at the shape the world is in.
Swampy’s like “What the—-?” And Constantine’s like “Right?” And then all literal Hell breaks loose.
Fun cameos from Deadman, Animal Woman (Animal Man’s daughter, all growed up), and the Legions of Hell led by Lucifer himself, who struck a deal with Constantine.
Lots and lots of blood and guts and carnage in this. Definitely not for the squeamish....more
Starting in issue #58 of the DC comic book series Wonder Woman in 2020, G. Willow Wilson (of Ms. Marvel fame) took over as head writer for the series,Starting in issue #58 of the DC comic book series Wonder Woman in 2020, G. Willow Wilson (of Ms. Marvel fame) took over as head writer for the series, and it’s the best stuff I’ve read in the series since Brian Azzarello’s run.
Volume 2, “Love is a Battlefield”, finds Diana teaming up with—-of all people—-Giganta to battle what appears to be Titans that have appeared on Earth after the fall of Olympus. Maggie and her new friends (a satyr, a minotaur, and a pegasus) are wandering the forests when she discovers a sword at the bottom of a lake. A suburban town has been taken over by Aphrodite’s child, Atlantiades (who prefers the “they/them” pronoun), where every inhabitant succumbs to their greatest desire, at the sacrifice of their responsibilities (like work, marriage, childcare, etc.). Also, a gateway to some hellish dimension is found in a closet, where hordes of fish-people are waiting to cross over into our world, but they have to get through Diana, Maggie, and Atlantiades first, and they have a hankerin’ for sushi.
Wilson’s writing is fun, humorous, and exciting. She adds a breath of fresh air to a series that was getting a little stale....more
G. Willow Wilson, who had tremendous success with her teen superhero Ms. Marvel for Marvel Comics, brings her talents as writer to DC, for her 2019 ruG. Willow Wilson, who had tremendous success with her teen superhero Ms. Marvel for Marvel Comics, brings her talents as writer to DC, for her 2019 run of Wonder Woman.
In Volume 1, “The Just War”: Ares, the God of War, escapes from his prison under Themyscira; Diana finds out that Steve Trevor is in trouble (again); traveling to the war-torn country of Durovnia, Diana finds Ares, who claims to have turned over a new leaf, which is actually just the same old leaf; they fight a lot, but then Ares saves a baby and has a come-to-Jesus moment (sorry to mix religious iconography); Aphrodite shows up, and she ends up wearing a lot of Steve’s clothes, which is awkward; Greek mythical beasts like minotaurs and Pegasi find themselves as refugees in Washington, D.C., which I’m sure really pisses off Ted Cruz; Veronica Cale is keeping Diana’s supervillain Nemesis as prisoner in her basement… or is she?
This is a superb run of well-written stories with plenty of action and humor to please everyone. Also, great artwork by Cary Nord, Xermanico, Jesus Merino, and Emanuela Lupacchino....more
My only other exposure to Adam Strange was in an old Swamp Thing comic book, and that issue was writte“You should never meet your heroes.” —Allan Carr
My only other exposure to Adam Strange was in an old Swamp Thing comic book, and that issue was written by Alan Moore. Apparently, Moore’s Strange was a slightly weirder, darker version of the science fiction hero created in the 1950s.
Strange was an Earthling who somehow stepped into the path of an interstellar “Zeta-beam” which instantly transported him to the planet Rann, where he became a hero to the Rannians.
Tom King’s “Strange Adventures” is a graphic novel that examines the notion of heroism and asks the question: How far are you willing to go to be a hero?
“Strange Adventures” begins with Strange and his wife, Alanna, living on Earth. The death of their daughter, Aleena, is still fresh after the war on Rann against an alien race called the Pykkt. Strange has just published his memoirs to great acclaim and is enjoying celebrityhood when a man, on live television, accuses him of lying and committing war crimes against the Pykkt. Not long after, the man is found murdered. Strange is, of course, the prime suspect.
Strange asks his friend, Batman, to take on the investigation. Batman calls in Mr. Terrific, who may have a unique perspective that could be helpful to the investigation. He receives a very cold response from Alanna and Strange, making him wonder if the couple really are hiding something.
Thus begins a 12-issue mystery that delves deep into the Adam Strange mythos. It is definitely not a typical superhero comic book series. Scenes alternate between past and present, gradually uncovering a truth about the Stranges that will have major repercussions for their future.
King cleverly dissects American hero-worship and exposes the man behind the myths, something that most Americans are rather loathe to do when it comes to our real heroes....more
Not sure what the hell is going on in Simon Spurrier’s The Dreaming Volume Two: “Empty Shells”, but I’ll be honest: I just like it for the pretty pictNot sure what the hell is going on in Simon Spurrier’s The Dreaming Volume Two: “Empty Shells”, but I’ll be honest: I just like it for the pretty pictures anyway. Bilquis Evely and Abigail Larson provide some of the best, dreamy comic book artwork I’ve seen in a while. The artwork reminds me enough of the original Sandman artwork to make me momentarily forget that this is not written by Neil Gaiman. There’s a helluva lot of characters rambling on about… stuff. Some of it’s interesting, some of it is incomprehensible. There’s a lady with a heart-shaped cigarette lighter who has a daughter who dated the Lord of Dreams but gave him a tattoo which made him vulnerable and weak and it looks like Desire had something to do with it and, meanwhile, in the Dreaming, the bug-eyed giant moth-child that now rules the Dreaming is trying to figure out what certain things mean, like dreams, and the House of Mystery is on fire but nobody cares because everybody’s stuck in an endless story-within-a-story until Nora comes along and saves the day. Anyway, that’s my take-away…...more
I was a bit leary about this one. Only because John Constantine—-the real Constantine, not the lackluster attempt by DC to shape him into some kind ofI was a bit leary about this one. Only because John Constantine—-the real Constantine, not the lackluster attempt by DC to shape him into some kind of DC version of “Dr. Strange”—-is a bloody wanker, a tosser, and a blighter. He’s certainly no superhero. He’s a blue-collar Joe schmo from the mean streets of London who fancies himself a sorcerer-for-hire. He doesn’t give a shit about saving the world, unless, of course, there’s something in it for him. He is, not to put too fine a point on it, an asshole.
The real Constantine would likely cringe at a teeny-bopper reboot, which is what Kami Garcia’s YA graphic novel “Constantine: Distorted Illusions” is. Garcia has basically turned Constantine into a lovable young punk (but PG-punk, not R-rated punk) version of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. He’s a bad-boy with a heart of gold.
Fuckin’ yuck!
I was leary going into it, leary reading it, and I’m still fucking leary about it.
Maybe it’s Isaac Goodhart’s artwork, which brings to mind the god-awful 80s cartoon series “Jem” for some reason. A horrified part of me keeps thinking that DC is planning to sell a line of Hasbro “Constantine” dolls, and that’s more frightening than any demonic force that Constantine could conjure up.
Maybe it’s the fact that the story’s set in New York City, which is fine if Constantine were American, but he’s British, so he should be in London.
Maybe it’s because his whole “bad-boy” persona isn’t all that “bad-boy” at all. So, he disobeys his parents. Whoopity-doo! He steals a book from a sorceress’s library. Shock and horror! He accidentally unleashes a demon which possesses his best friend. Oh wait—- that actually does sound like something the real Constantine would do.
This isn’t for me. Besides being nowhere near the target demographic (teens between the ages of 13 and 19, female, and gay), I’m just feeling like a cantankerous old coot who misses the old days when John Constantine smoked and drank to excess, constantly made horrible decisions and didn’t learn a damned thing from it, and only really did anything worthwhile (like save the world) when there was a piece of ass involved or if he’s the soddin’ arsehole who fucked up the world in the first place…...more
The second, and final, issue of Joe Hill/Gabriel Rodriguez's "Locke & Key" cross-over event with Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman" is awesome. Mary Locke, dThe second, and final, issue of Joe Hill/Gabriel Rodriguez's "Locke & Key" cross-over event with Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman" is awesome. Mary Locke, donning the Dream Lord's magical regalia and cleverly making a copy of Lucifer's Key to Hell, goes to Hell in search of her twin brother, killed in Europe during the War. With the help of Fiddler's Green and Etrigan the Demon, Mary wages war against Lucifer's army. Her secret weapon? The enemy's serious underestimation of her... ...more
Wonder Woman Volume 9, “The Enemy of Both Sides” is a bit of a “kitchen sink” collection, if you know what I mean. Steve Orlando writes the four-issueWonder Woman Volume 9, “The Enemy of Both Sides” is a bit of a “kitchen sink” collection, if you know what I mean. Steve Orlando writes the four-issue title run, involving a Mexican super heroine named The Aztek, teaming up with Diana and Artemis to battle ancient gods from another dimension. Again. (Didn’t we read something like this in the last volume?)
Anyway, the rest is a bunch of stand-alone short stories written and drawn by multiple writers and artists. Some of them are good, some are great. (My faves: a World War II-era story by Renae De Liz, and a humorous rip on IKEA stores by Hope Larson, writer, and Ramon Bachs, artist)
Despite some ups and downs within the past couple volumes, this series continues to be one that I enjoy consistently, and it’s not just because I have a crush on Diana (although that’s part of it)…...more
While I wasn’t particularly in love with the ‘60s “Batman” TV show starring Adam West, I certainly didn’t hate it, and it was, more often than not, goWhile I wasn’t particularly in love with the ‘60s “Batman” TV show starring Adam West, I certainly didn’t hate it, and it was, more often than not, good for a few laughs. I’m not sure, but it may have been my first real introduction to the character as a kid. The Dark Knight it so wasn’t.
DC, having ridden the nostalgia wave for all things ‘70s and ‘80s (“Superman ’78”, “Wonder Woman ’77”, “Batman ’89”) simply couldn’t stop there. In 2014, “Batman ’66” came out, resurrecting the cheesy Technicolor silliness of the classic series.
Writer Jeff Parker has captured the zaniness and the camp, which, honestly, gets pretty old by the midway mark, but the team of contributing artists must be commended for a contemporary interpretation of Golden Age-style comic book art. Seriously, if anything, this series is worth it just for the pretty and super-colorful drawings....more
Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman Book Two, in which: Dream’s sister, Death, reveals to him that he has a pretty horrible track record with women because he’sNeil Gaiman’s The Sandman Book Two, in which: Dream’s sister, Death, reveals to him that he has a pretty horrible track record with women because he’s kind of a dick, and, surprisingly, he agrees; out of a sense of guilt, Morpheus travels to Hell to save an ex-girlfriend that he had banished there several thousand years ago because she wouldn’t be his queen (total dick move); expecting to go to war with Hell, Morpheus finds that Lucifer has just up and quit, unleashing all the demons and the dead unto Earth and other realms and leaving Morpheus the keys to Hell; Gods and deities are flocking to the Dreaming to strike a deal with Morpheus in regards to taking possession of the keys; Barbie (a character from “The Doll’s House”) has lost her connection with her dream-world, which has serious repercussions in the Dreaming and the real world; the tragic story of Orpheus, son of Morpheus, is told, revealing that not only was Morpheus a shitty boyfriend but also a shitty dad…
It’s hard to believe that these stories are thirty years old, as they seem as fresh and exciting as they were when I first read them in high school. ...more
Joe Hill & Gabriel Rodriguez's fantastic graphic novel series "Locke &Key" combines with (in my opinion) the best graphic novel series of all time, NeJoe Hill & Gabriel Rodriguez's fantastic graphic novel series "Locke &Key" combines with (in my opinion) the best graphic novel series of all time, Neil Gaiman's "The Sandman" in issue #1 "Hell and Gone".
It's 1927, and a young woman from America arrives (via magic key) at the door of a wealthy British sorcerer who supposedly has a god locked up in his basement. The god in question isn't really a god. It's Morpheus, Lord of Dreams. Stealing Morpheus's helm and amulet, the young women finds her way to the realm known as the Dreaming, which is in a slight upheaval since the Master disappeared. She encounters Cain and Abel, who direct her to the Library, which appears to be under new management, a suave but nightmarish fellow known as the Corinthian... ...more
My love for Wonder Woman began as a child of four, in 1975. I couldn’t technically read comic books yet, but I could watch TV. In 1975, TV introduced My love for Wonder Woman began as a child of four, in 1975. I couldn’t technically read comic books yet, but I could watch TV. In 1975, TV introduced me to a super heroine that—-even at such a tender and innocent age—-made parts of my body that I didn’t even have names for do strange and interesting things.
I was far too young to understand the biochemical processes of my body, but I knew that I was watching something extraordinary. I am, of course, talking about Lynda Carter and her wonderful boobs. She was my first introduction to Wonder Woman, and I have loved her ever since, in every iteration.
Writer Marc Andreyko and the team of brilliant artists for the graphic novel series Wonder Woman ‘77 can probably relate.
This comic book series is totally groovy. Each issue actually feels like an episode of the classic late-70s TV show, only better. (Because—-let’s be honest—-the writing on the show wasn’t that great, which is perhaps why it never got nominated for an Emmy and only lasted 3 seasons.)
In these colorful pages, Wonder Woman battles supervillains Silver Swan, Dr. Psycho, the Cheetah, Celsia, and Solomon Grundy. She also manages to get in some disco-dancing time with her man, Steve Trevor. I really hope that a second volume of this series is in the works. ...more
Wonder Woman, Volume 8, “Dark Gods”, by James Robinson, is slightly better than the last volume written by him but not by much. The whole thing feels Wonder Woman, Volume 8, “Dark Gods”, by James Robinson, is slightly better than the last volume written by him but not by much. The whole thing feels like a DC cross-over “Crisis” story that got shot down in a meeting and Robinson had to tweak it to fit in a four-issue run. The whole thing feels rushed and badly-paced. Add to that that Wonder Woman is literally ripped from the story at one point to be part of another completely-unrelated story. The entire volume had me scratching my head. I’m pretty sure this was Robinson’s last run as writer, and I won’t miss him....more
Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman is, by far, my favorite comic book series of all time. I have recently taken to re-reading them from the beginning and, unliNeil Gaiman’s The Sandman is, by far, my favorite comic book series of all time. I have recently taken to re-reading them from the beginning and, unlike many other things I treasured from childhood in the ‘80s (the TV show “The Dukes of Hazzard”, the movie “The Lost Boys”, just to name two), they have managed to remain cool as hell.
It was with some trepidation that I picked up Simon Spurrier’s graphic novel series The Dreaming, which is set in the Sandman universe. I wasn’t sure about it, mainly because Neil Gaiman had very little to do with it. (He’s credited as having written the story that Spurrier and other writers have fleshed out in comic book form.) Even though I have read other stuff by Spurrier and recognize that he is a good writer, the fact remains: he is not Gaiman.
Volume One, “Pathways and Emanations”, starts much the same way that the original Sandman series started back in 1988: Dream (a.k.a. Morpheus a.k.a. the Lord of Dreams, one of the all-powerful Endless) has gone missing from the Dreaming, the world that exists between wakefulness and sleep.
Lucien, left in charge of the Dreaming, tasks Matthew, the raven, with trying to find the Lord of Dreams, with no success. The Dreaming, meanwhile, is falling apart. Again. And the inhabitants—-dreams and nightmares alike—-are beginning to form factions against one another. Add to the mix an ominous figure that has escaped from a prison that Morpheus put him in eons ago, Judge Gallows, and a strange geometric apparition that seems to be alive and growing.
I’m not sure how, but Spurrier (and a team of other writers) manages to succeed in creating an excellent and exciting new chapter in the Sandman mythos. Perhaps Spurrier’s saucy humor (his extremely subtle rips on Trump and his followers will not go unnoticed), the numerous references to previous Sandman storylines, and the wonderful artwork by Bilquis Evely (and a team of other artists) are the reason for the success....more
More Saturday morning cartoon goodness in “The Batman & Scooby-Doo! Mysteries”, Volume 2. Writers Ivan Cohen and Sholly Fisch—-along with artists DariMore Saturday morning cartoon goodness in “The Batman & Scooby-Doo! Mysteries”, Volume 2. Writers Ivan Cohen and Sholly Fisch—-along with artists Dario Brizuela, Randy Elliott, and Scott Jeralds—capture the joy and silliness of a thirty-minute Hanna-Barbera cartoon with the perfect team-up. The kids (and Scoob) of Mystery Inc. and the Dynamic Duo solve mysteries in which Catwoman, the Joker, Harley Quinn, the Riddler, and Shaggy Man(?) are involved. Along the way are numerous cameos by Nightwing, Batgirl, The Question, and the Creeper. This is the perfect comic book to read when, like, you just need to zone out and have a Scooby snack. Zoinks! ...more
Let me preface this review by saying that I hate Batman. Which is not to say that I have always hated Batman. It’s a fairly recent thing. Probably wheLet me preface this review by saying that I hate Batman. Which is not to say that I have always hated Batman. It’s a fairly recent thing. Probably whenever Ben Affleck was hired on to play Batman, but, honestly, it was long before that. It was around the time that George Clooney played Batman in that god-awful piece of shit movie “Batman and Robin”. Clooney was awful, but Chris O’Donnell (the most boring actor in the world) was a pretty atrocious Robin, it must be noted. That film destroyed the franchise for me.
(To be fair, I liked the Christopher Nolan films, but I actually don’t like to consider them Batman movies. They are action/adventure crime thrillers that happen to feature Batman.)
The last Batman movie I loved was Tim Burton’s 1992 “Batman Returns”, partly because of Michelle Pfeiffer, who looked great in a leather skintight Catwoman suit. She and Michael Keaton also had way more sexy chemistry than he and Kim Basinger ever had in the first Burton film. Pfeiffer is, also, hands-down the best Catwoman to date. She got royally screwed out of a spin-off movie.
A third Burton Batman film was never meant to be, but in the wonderful world of “what-if?”, DC recently came out with a six-issue run entitled “Batman ’89”. Writer Sam Hamm (who wrote the original Burton films) was given the chance to write the third installment of the Burton series in the form of a comic book.
Returning as Batman, of course, is Michael Keaton. Also returning is Billy Dee Williams as Harvey Dent. Sadly, few people recall Williams’s (too brief) part in the first film, a storyline that was clearly meant to be concluded in another film.
Thankfully, Two-Face gets his origin story in this one.
Also returning is Catwoman, although artist Joe Quinones’s Michelle Pfeiffer isn’t all that Michelle Pfeiffer-ish. It’s close but no cigar. Minor quibble, though.
This is not only the first Batman comic book I’ve read in about 20 years, it’s the first I’ve wanted to read, and it’s one that I actually liked. A lot.
I still hate Batman, though. Unless Michael Keaton decides to come back as Batman in the next film. That would be awesome… ...more
James Robinson’s run as writer in Wonder Woman, Volume 7, “Amazons Attacked”, isn’t the best, but it isn’t the worst either. In this issue: WW saves aJames Robinson’s run as writer in Wonder Woman, Volume 7, “Amazons Attacked”, isn’t the best, but it isn’t the worst either. In this issue: WW saves a young girl who loses the ability to walk, but a new nanotechnology helps her, only to change her into a villain called Silver Swan; Jason parties a little too hard, decides to straighten up and then gets sucked into some blue cloud; Darkseid recruits a group of female supervillains called the Furies; Jason returns in a new super-suit and more hopped-up superpowers, but he doesn’t remember how it happened or where he’s been for months; WW goes up against Darkseid in an epic battle…
Just wasn’t feeling this one. It was okay, I guess....more
Surprisingly, the third volume of Grant Morrison's Wonder Woman Earth One series is much better than the first two volumes, which isn't saying much buSurprisingly, the third volume of Grant Morrison's Wonder Woman Earth One series is much better than the first two volumes, which isn't saying much but still says enough. Yanick Paquette still continues to draw the gorgeous panels. In this third volume, the story alternates between a world 1000 years in the future, in which a utopian matriarchy rules the world with kindness and love, and a present-day Earth in the throes of continuous war and plague and violence and hatred. The story builds to an exciting climax as the reader learns what happened to create the future utopia. Finally, Morrison manages to capture the essence of Wonder Woman. A satisfying end to a mediocre series....more
I used to love watching the old Scooby Doo Where Are You? series. It always came on around 3 p.m. after coming home from school. My favorites were theI used to love watching the old Scooby Doo Where Are You? series. It always came on around 3 p.m. after coming home from school. My favorites were the ones with guest stars like Jonathon Winters, Don Knotts, the Harlem Globetrotters, etc. Occasionally Batman and Robin would guest star. This comic book series, written by Ivan Cohen, reminded me of those fun afternoons, chilling on the couch with a bag of Ruffles and a Capri-Sun....more
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