"For all the Black kids drowning in the sunken place, desperately trying to claw their way out, this book is for you"
This b INFINITY STARS♾️
"For all the Black kids drowning in the sunken place, desperately trying to claw their way out, this book is for you"
This book was AMAZING. yes, yes, i know i say that about every book i read but im being so serious about this one. I want it engraved on my heart. It touched a deep part of my SOULLLL. I need the physical copy of this of this so bad so I could annotate it with so many tabs. (this was a library copy)
I really wanted this to be a good review that I literally wrote down page numbers of quotes I like so I can add them to this when I go over that topic and/or character. I don't know how to format this very well so just bear with me yall. I have a lot of thoughts and I will try to put them into coherent sentences.
First, let's talk plot and the storylines. I want this to be non-spoilery but i will also have some spoilers to talk about later on, but i will give a warning before that happens. So, this is a dark academia mystery thriller dealing with huge topics such as racism, homophobia, and classism. I won't give you the whole synopsis since this is me getting my thoughts out and not just talking about what the book was about!!! (Look up trigger warnings if you need to - I don't think there are a lot but just wanted to put that out there)
This story kept me HOOKED. I did take not long, but longer than I usually take while reading books, to finish this but it was definitely the type of book that I had to take my time reading. Some scenes scared me so much (i will say which ones later) but i left off on one right before going to sleep and i felt so uneasy LMFAOOOOO def not doing that again with a mystery/thriller book. I should've learned my lesson after girl on the train.
Anyways, when I first got into reading it, I was instantly getting "One of Us Is Next" and "Nothing More To Tell" vibes. KMM is one of my favorite mystery authors so ofc I compare everything to her books and look for tiny details that are alike. This was better than both of those novels though (in my personal opinion). Doesn't mean I hate KMM, this just had so many layers to it, it's hard for anything else to compare. I have never watched Gossip Girl (i know sue me), but I HAVE watched Get Out and see the comparisons to that movie. That movie scared me. This book scared me. (in a good way)
There were some (if not fucking all) racist ass BIGOTS in this novel and i got so riled up. I was so satisfied with the ending tbh. The fact that there are actual people like that in the world in 2024 is so fucked up to me, but like Tyrell says, "The world’s not ideal."
I want to wrap these characters up in a huge hug and never let them go. I won't lie to you, I hated Chiamaka at the beginning of this novel, but honestly, I get why she was the way she was. It's like she had this exterior and facade she put on but the reasons she did that were valid. Being one of two only Black kids in a private white school would put a LOT of pressure on me, I would probably crack. Being Black AND a woman? It's even more amplified.
"Even though I know I shouldn't care, it annoys me that when girls know what they want and how they're going to get it, they're seen as cocky. But guys who know what they want? They're confident or strong."
The double standards are wild. I hate it here. I'm so proud of her though. Her growth throughout this novel made me want to cry. The epilogue and overall ending were a big "fuck you" to everyone out to get her and i LOVED it.
I want to explore the relationships that she had with certain people from Niveus but I don't want to give everything away, like I said. For the people here for the non-spoilers, all I will say is that she deserved so much better. I will explore this more with spoilers later, but here's a quote I loved!
"They say love and hate are the same, just at different ends of the blade."
This pretty much sums up this book. I'm so paranoid, I trusted everyone when I should've trusted exactly nobody. I did have icky feelings about this person who turned out to be horrible, so I'm happy about that lmaoooooo. Chi's slight mommy and daddy issues? I am tearing up. The internal and external struggle she had with her identity (being mixed but looking more like her Nigerian mom than her white dad) was so real and something I think a lot of Black girls, whether biracial or fully Black, can relate to, especially in predominantly white environments. It made me sad that she felt like she had to straighten her hair and act "proper" in order to get to the top at Niveus. Again, I'm proud to see how far she came by the end, in lots of regards.
"In the reflection is a girl who looks like me, only different. Normal me has her hair whipped into straightness, a full face of makeup five days out of seven, and the look of eternal confidence. Now I stare at myself, like I always do, confused by this thing my hair can do. It can go into this style and change me completely. I'm no longer Chi, but Chiamaka, daughter of a Nigerian mother who loves the hair on my head more than I ever could."
I just want to shake her and tell her that it's everyone else who's the problem and not her. I want to tell her that she's beautiful with her natural hair, either braided in cornrows or just natural down. When I tell y'all that I love Chiamaka Adebayo, I LOVE CHIAMAKA ADEBAYO.
"No matter what I do, no matter how much I iron down the hair that springs from my scalp, or work as hard as I can, I'm always going to be other to them. Not good enough for this place I've tried to call home all my life."
I hate everyone who hates her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will talk about Belle later on, both alone and with her in regard to the main characters later, because I want to talk about her with spoilers and I can't say anything about her that won't be spoilery in my opinion.
Alright, this may be my last quote from Chi (possibly) and then I wanna talk about my child, Devon MF Richards because he was my favorite favorite. Afterwards, I'll talk spoilers!! YAY! :)
"I'm Chiamaka fucking Adebayo—I don't need some prick telling me who I am and who I should be."
MY GIRL 4EVER. Everyone bow down!!!!!!!!!!! ...more
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