The POV changes are so frequent and unannounced, it gives you whip lash. It's super confusing trying to keep up. This woul SPOILERS, but only a little
The POV changes are so frequent and unannounced, it gives you whip lash. It's super confusing trying to keep up. This would have done better if it just followed two characters in sequential chapters, like typical MC romances.
Anyone else just unsettled by all the unnecessary violence? It almost seems unrealistic the way they beat/kill people without even thinking about it. Harley purposely kills a girl for kicking him in the junk after he grabbed and pinched her butt. Um excuse me? Like no remorse or reason at all makes most of the male characters unlikable to me. They are pretty much just assholes for no reason.
Speaking of characters, Ransom is introduced as a no nonsense, tough as nails, and kind of a jerk type of guy with a list of rules and some kind of code he lives by. Then this all goes out the window in a cliché moment when he meets Billy, which is totally expected. However, it is done is such a cringy way that is so completely out of character that ruins the scene for me.
Just a quick disclaimer: I am an audiobook proofreader and I read a ton of romances for work, so I know how these things go. This author missed a huge mark considering this is a romance. She spends a couple chapters building sexual tension with an intense make out scene, then appears to skip over their first time with this confusing line: "The things Ransom did to her when they were alone could hardly be considered friendly." Makes it look like we readers missed their first time. Nope: "She wasn’t loose by any means, but the anticipation of him finally getting into her pants was killing Billy." Just another bad writing twist. (The 2 quotes have about 4 pages of irrelevant nonsense between them).
Speaking of confusing "not sex" scenes, what is this: "Billy knew he was just as affected as she was. She could feel the evidence pressed against her abdomen, hard and heavy. It was also in Ransom’s feral eyes that watched her unravel for him nightly. He took fierce pride in the way Billy’s fists clutched his cut and her leg hooked around his as their mouths fused together. Long, thick fingers tangled in her hair, holding her in place, as Ransom destroyed her from the inside out with single-minded precision." But yup, not sex. Idk why this is necessary. Billy doesn't explain some kind of moral code about waiting. Just leaves me confused as to what is actually going on. There's other confusing sex scenes, but I'm only going to comment on that one.
I gave this 2 stars because I did find myself enjoying the story and wanting to read the next one, despite the awful writing.
Quotes that bothered me:
"It was a genuine, innocent laugh that sent her braids flying around her face as she succumbed to pure bliss." This is 2 braids ("...she wore her black hair in two braids that fell past her shoulders...") I have wicked long hair and this has never happened to me. Ever.
"The kiss was seductive and dominating, sending their erogenous zones into chaos." I'm sorry, this phrasing isn't sexy. There's phrases like this and weird logic all over too ("friction caused by her ministrations" "He wasn’t surprised to feel her dampness through the denim of his jeans and her shorts" "She seriously wanted to crawl into him and get lost." etc)...more
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