Manny's Reviews > Le diable et le bon dieu

Hello Gœtz. Hello. Hello. Can you hear me? Hello... oh, there you are. Excellent. Excellent.

What do you mean, who am I? Who do you think I am? Well guess then. I'm sure you know really. Go on. Guess.

No, that was not a good guess. Not a good guess at all. I am frankly very insulted. No, I do not sound like the Devil. I have no idea where you got that idea from. None whatsoever.

Gœtz, if you insist on being this obtuse, I'm God. Yes, God in His own person. I am who I am. Of course I'm sure. Please drop this line of questioning at once, if you do not wish to discover what the business end of a thunderbolt feels like. Yes, I'm being entirely serious.

I'm sorry, Gœtz. I shouldn't have said that. You're right to remind me, I am the God of Love. It's just that, you know, given my rather complex history, it's easy to forget occasionally. I'm sure you understand. Well, I'm glad we cleared that up. Anyway, I wanted to talk about something else. I'm sorry we got sidetracked.

Now, listen carefully Gœtz. You may not like to hear what I'm going to say, but listen all the same. Good. That's the spirit. Okay Gœtz, my message today is very simple. Very simple indeed. You're ready? Well, here it is.

You're an asshole, Gœtz. A complete and utter asshole. I've made plenty of assholes in my time, but you may be my final and most perfect creation in this department. I shouldn't say it, but I feel rather proud of what I've achieved here. You were born an asshole, and you're going to stay an asshole. There's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

What? What else? That's it, Gœtz. That's my message to you. I want you to think carefully about what I said.

Catherine? Catherine who? Oh, that Catherine. Well Gœtz, this may come as a surprise, but she loves you with all her heart. Yes, I know you've raped and abused her. I am fully aware of the facts you mention. Indeed, indeed. Simone may say women are not like that, but she's wrong. It's very simple.

Excuse me? Did I hear you correctly? Gœtz, that is a very bad idea. A terrible idea. Quite the worst idea you've ever had. I'm telling you now, it won't work. You are not cut out for goodness and unselfish love. You're simply not designed that way.

No, this is not a trick.

Well, if you insist on doing the ridiculous thing you propose, you'll soon see what happens. We'll meet again a year from now, and you'll admit you were wrong. Completely and utterly wrong.

Of course I exist. We couldn't be having this conversation otherwise, could we? I refer you to my earlier remark about the business ends of thunderbolts. Goodbye, Gœtz. Until next year.

Asshole.