Gabrielle's Reviews > Nom

I had been meaning to read a book by Constance Debré for a while: I was intrigued by her choice of topics and by the rather radical transformation she went through, so I was pleased to find a copy of “Nom” at my favorite used book store.

I understand that Debré is a controversial writer, who is often accused of being a terrible person and a hypocrite, because she writes about rejecting privilege and slumming it – as her family is quite illustrious. While I can see that point of view, reading this raw and angry book makes me think that her rejection of family name and influence, conventional marriage and lifestyle is actually genuine.

Now granted, I don’t know her or the particularities of her circumstances – I only know what I read in a book she wrote, in which she controlled the narrative. But her family stories, that she uses as an example to validate her stance to reject the patrimony that comes with a name and family ties makes sense to me. My experience was not as brutal as hers: both her parents were addicts, they had an abusive relationship, came from great wealth and privilege and often acted in despicable ways – to the point where she wants no association with the weight of their names, possibly in an attempt to shake off the trauma they saddled her with. But I do understand the feeling of complete disassociation from blood relatives when differences and rifts become impossible to bridge, I get linking a family name to pain (as opposed to the feeling of belonging a family name should, in theory, be bringing to a person). I understand her anger, her desire to want nothing to do with a clan she feels she has no common ground with at best, and rejected from, at worse. I am now curious to read her book “Love Me Tender”, about her relationship to motherhood – because I think that not all parent-child bonds are the special and sacred thing most people would like us to believe it is.

Of course, my views on her book are colored by my own negative experience with family, and I am well-aware that I will not be in the majority in that regards. But I found her writing quite compelling, I enjoy the muscular prose she uses and will look for her other works.

This might be the type of book that benefits from multiple readings… We’ll see!