emma's Reviews > The Familiar
The Familiar
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emma's review
bookshelves: fantasy, non-ya, historical, unpopular-opinion, reviewed, nope, 1-and-a-half-stars
Sep 18, 2023
bookshelves: fantasy, non-ya, historical, unpopular-opinion, reviewed, nope, 1-and-a-half-stars
leigh bardugo writes it, i read it.
for better or worse.
guess which one it is in this case.
welcome to THE FAMILIAR, the genre-bending, worst-of-both-worlds historical fantasy universe of luzia. luzia is a maid. she is also magic. she is also boring.
luzia is an orphan who works in some middle class evil lady's house cleaning stuff all day. she is obsessed with her aunt, who has a lot of money. you may be like "why doesn't she live with her aunt, then?" because she is a kept woman. you might then wonder why luzia's girlboss self is so bothered by this: she is not. she sleeps on a dusty floor instead of on, like, glamorous cushions with her dear family member because her (dead) dad thought her aunt's reputation was bad and that's the worst thing that can happen to a girl. the concept of being near a bad reputation. because of wanting to get married.
do not dwell on that too long, because we're going to ignore it for the rest of the plot.
we're hot in the middle of the SPANISH GOLDEN AGE, and it's evil to be a witch but it's very rad to be so christian it actually makes you magic. luzia sets off to participate in a god's love contest, along with her abusive employer (ignore that), her aunt's bad reputation (ignore that), a million year old creep (ignore that, he's supposed to suddenly become sexy), her aunt's boyfriend and his wife (ignore that), and a few ragtag others.
discerning readers may remember we mentioned a creepy ancient man we are supposed to find unbelievably hot about halfway through. this wannabe edward cullen makes up half of the world's most soulless romance.
somehow i'm reading about magical star-crossed lovers and their doomed soulmate status but i know couples from my high school whose stories i'm more interested in. which is maybe not a fair comparison because i love gossip, but still.
on top of being a boring romance, this is not a convincing historical fiction. that doesn't bother me really (i hate reading modern writers try to write old-timey), but the fact that it's also not a convincing teller of its own story does.
this book is not sure how our protagonist knows so much, or expects more for herself, or practices her magic. it kind of just inconsistently provides her with whatever is convenient for the scraps of plot we're navigating and hopes we don't have follow-up questions or memory of what we've already read.
the writing, too, is style-first: sentences sound good, but when you take away the drama, they don't really fit together. the sweeping gestures of characters and of wording...both of them rarely make sense.
also, for some reason our narrator is omnipotent.
yes. all of the side characters' internal thoughts and feelings pop up from time to time like an annoying bug, seeming like a shallow afterthought compared to the protagonist's, with none of it going beyond what you or the main character would assume. so why bother? who knows!
that's not the only perspective choice that left me shaking my damn head either. to have it be speaking from the future and casting opinions on the events of the story was even weirder. it's so annoying to be like "perhaps if luzia had gotten a haircut that day everything would be different." ok butterfly effect!
i can always tell i really didn't like a book if i have multiple paragraphs' worth of thoughts about a single writing element. but i force myself to digress.
in the most annoying and present sin of all, this is not a story of magic trials and sorcery.
it's about old-timey european politics.
the climax occurs when a former secretary loses his job.
unforgivable.
bottom line: this book is nothing that it said it was, and nothing that it wanted to be, and nothing when you dig into it at all.
for better or worse.
guess which one it is in this case.
welcome to THE FAMILIAR, the genre-bending, worst-of-both-worlds historical fantasy universe of luzia. luzia is a maid. she is also magic. she is also boring.
luzia is an orphan who works in some middle class evil lady's house cleaning stuff all day. she is obsessed with her aunt, who has a lot of money. you may be like "why doesn't she live with her aunt, then?" because she is a kept woman. you might then wonder why luzia's girlboss self is so bothered by this: she is not. she sleeps on a dusty floor instead of on, like, glamorous cushions with her dear family member because her (dead) dad thought her aunt's reputation was bad and that's the worst thing that can happen to a girl. the concept of being near a bad reputation. because of wanting to get married.
do not dwell on that too long, because we're going to ignore it for the rest of the plot.
we're hot in the middle of the SPANISH GOLDEN AGE, and it's evil to be a witch but it's very rad to be so christian it actually makes you magic. luzia sets off to participate in a god's love contest, along with her abusive employer (ignore that), her aunt's bad reputation (ignore that), a million year old creep (ignore that, he's supposed to suddenly become sexy), her aunt's boyfriend and his wife (ignore that), and a few ragtag others.
discerning readers may remember we mentioned a creepy ancient man we are supposed to find unbelievably hot about halfway through. this wannabe edward cullen makes up half of the world's most soulless romance.
somehow i'm reading about magical star-crossed lovers and their doomed soulmate status but i know couples from my high school whose stories i'm more interested in. which is maybe not a fair comparison because i love gossip, but still.
on top of being a boring romance, this is not a convincing historical fiction. that doesn't bother me really (i hate reading modern writers try to write old-timey), but the fact that it's also not a convincing teller of its own story does.
this book is not sure how our protagonist knows so much, or expects more for herself, or practices her magic. it kind of just inconsistently provides her with whatever is convenient for the scraps of plot we're navigating and hopes we don't have follow-up questions or memory of what we've already read.
the writing, too, is style-first: sentences sound good, but when you take away the drama, they don't really fit together. the sweeping gestures of characters and of wording...both of them rarely make sense.
also, for some reason our narrator is omnipotent.
yes. all of the side characters' internal thoughts and feelings pop up from time to time like an annoying bug, seeming like a shallow afterthought compared to the protagonist's, with none of it going beyond what you or the main character would assume. so why bother? who knows!
that's not the only perspective choice that left me shaking my damn head either. to have it be speaking from the future and casting opinions on the events of the story was even weirder. it's so annoying to be like "perhaps if luzia had gotten a haircut that day everything would be different." ok butterfly effect!
i can always tell i really didn't like a book if i have multiple paragraphs' worth of thoughts about a single writing element. but i force myself to digress.
in the most annoying and present sin of all, this is not a story of magic trials and sorcery.
it's about old-timey european politics.
the climax occurs when a former secretary loses his job.
unforgivable.
bottom line: this book is nothing that it said it was, and nothing that it wanted to be, and nothing when you dig into it at all.
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Reading Progress
September 18, 2023
– Shelved
June 3, 2024
–
Started Reading
June 8, 2024
–
Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-50 of 64 (64 new)
message 1:
by
Cassidi
(new)
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rated it 3 stars
Sep 18, 2023 10:57PM
![Cassidi Beck](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1694459347p1/63115645.jpg)
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![lily](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1626361613p1/33783255.jpg)
![Sam](https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_25x33-ccd24e68f4773d33a41ce08c3a34892e.png)
Instead of listening to valid criticism, she doubles down on what doesn't work. The poor pacing in Kos/RoW? Double it!
The complaint that after S&B she made her antagonists too one dimensional, mustache twirling flat villains? Do it again!
Moral righteousness? Put it in there.
Meandering plot point? Perfect add that in there!
![Marcy](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1420064904p1/25332707.jpg)
![Banks Parenteau](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1713422139p1/176863884.jpg)
![Catherine](https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_25x33-ccd24e68f4773d33a41ce08c3a34892e.png)
It's like she wanted to write another darklina but completely defanged, and boring like Malina. When writing a GOTHIC romance, she needed tp have let the love interest do something, anything at all to make him interesting but she can't because ever since 2018 she turned into a nun leading a crusade against anything fun or "toxic" as she calls it. The puriteen shame fest leigh has been on has hurt her writing ability.
![Catherine](https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_25x33-ccd24e68f4773d33a41ce08c3a34892e.png)
THIS WAS THE ENTIRE NIKOLAI DUOLOGY!!!!!!!!!!! What is consistency? What is balance? NOPE. Whatever is most convenient for the plot!!!
And the retcon in that duology yuck!
![Monica](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1622377222p1/59662720.jpg)
![Monica](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1713154412p1/68595026.jpg)
![Abby Trantina-Protopapas](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1389301703p1/27520088.jpg)
![emma](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1520568130p1/32879029.jpg)
reading it like homework is so real
![emma](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1520568130p1/32879029.jpg)
like WHAT is the priority ranking here!
![emma](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1520568130p1/32879029.jpg)
it is not worth finishing believe me
![emma](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1520568130p1/32879029.jpg)
It's like she wanted to write another dar..."
this is so true...we can't have an evil love interest if he isn't evil
![emma](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1520568130p1/32879029.jpg)
this made me laugh
![emma](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1520568130p1/32879029.jpg)
honestly i can't imagine a world in which you made the wrong choice
![emma](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1520568130p1/32879029.jpg)
i agree with every word of this thank you
![emma](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1520568130p1/32879029.jpg)
best synopsis
![emma](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1520568130p1/32879029.jpg)
this is too real