Shades of Grey Quotes

“Okay, this is the wisdom. First, time spent on reconnaissanse is never wasted. Second, almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon. And finally, there is no problem on Earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“The cucumber and the tomato are both fruit; the avocado is a nut. To assist with the dietary requirements of vegetarians, on the first Tuesday of the month a chicken is officially a vegetable.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“The safest course was actually the simplest-do nothing at all and hope everything turned out for the best. It wasn't a great plan, but it had the benefits of simplicity and a long tradition. ”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“The best lies to tell are the ones people want to believe.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“You see? I know where every single book used to be in the library.' She pointed to the shelf opposite. 'Over there was Catch-22, which was a hugely popular fishing book and one of a series, I believe.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“I didn't set out to discover a truth. I was actually sent to the Outer Fringes to conduct a chair census and learn some humility. But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“You many have noticed I have a temper ... but when I calmed down, I realized that this world, blighted and imperfect as it is, would be better with you in it.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“If you enjoyed laughing in the face of death, you might like to have a crack at High Saffron. One hundred merits, and all you have to do is take a look.'
'I understand there's a one hundred percent fatality rate?'
'True. But up until the moment of death there was a one hundred percent survival rate. Really, I shouldn't let anything as meaningless as statistics put you off.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“The youthful stationmaster wore a Blue Spot on his uniform and remonstrated with the driver that the train was a minute late, and that he would have to file a report.

The driver retorted that since there could be no material differene between a train that arrived at a station and a station that arrived at a train, it was equally the staionmaster's fault.

The stationmaster replied that he could not be blamed, because he had no control over the speed of the station; to which the engine driver replied that the stationmaster could control its placement, and that if it were only a thousand yards closer to Vermillion, the problem would be solved.

To this the stationmaster replied that if the driver didn't accept the lateness as his fault, he would move the station a thousand yards farther from Vermillion and make him not just late, but demeritably overdue.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“Defiance through compliance.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“Were you listening to a word I said?'
'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“I don't need you to agree with me," she said quietly." I'll go away happy with a little bit of doubt. Doubt is good. It's an emotion we can build on. Perhaps if we feed it with curiosity it will blossom into something useful, like suspicion - and action.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“A surfeit of information often hides an untruth,” he said, with annoying clarity.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“He set fire to some potatoes, then cooked some undelivered post in the embers." - Dad
"Did he now? What a strange fellow. I would have done it the other way around." - Stafford”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“Acceptable rules of conduct were suspended when it came to the spoon shortage. The deficit had gotten so bad that prices were all but unaffordable, and dynastic spoon succession had become a matter of considerable interest. Spoons were even postcode engraved and carried on one's person to eliminate theft, and good table manners, one of the eight pillars upon which the Collective was built, had been relaxed to allow tea to be stirred - shockingly - with the handle of a fork.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“I've managed to bring the backlog down to a mere sixty-eight years," she announced with some small sense of achievement. "I hope to be able to start marking the papers of pupils who are still alive by the end of the decade.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“2.3.06.02.087: Unnecessary sharpening of pencils constitutes a waste of public resources, and will be punished as appropriate.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“Love isn't sensible, Red. I think that's the point.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“2.5.03.02.005: Generally speaking, if you fiddle with something, it will break. Don't.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“Unless the hole is MEANT to be square,' I said with a sudden erudition that surprised me, 'in which case, all the round pegs are the ones that are wrong, and if the ROUND hole is one that is not meant to be square, then the square ones will, no, hang on--'
'Shame,' said the historian, 'and you were doing so well.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“Because there's someone else here in East Carmine. Someone hopelessly unsuitable. It's all a really bad idea and will lead to trouble of the worst sort. But no matter what, every minute in her presence makes my life a minute more complete.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“There is no problem on earth that can't be ameliorated by a hot bath and a cup of tea.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“Her areas of expertise are bar codes, book titles and maps - she has an original Parker Brothers map of the world.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“But the truth inevitably found me, as important truths often do, like a lost thought in need of a mind.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“1.1.19.02.006: Team sports are mandatory in order to build character. Character is there to give purpose to team sports.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“She had large, questioning eyes that seemed to draw me in and a sense of quiet outrage that simmered just beneath the surface. More than anything, within her features, there was a streak of wild quirkiness that made her dazzlingly attractive.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“Do you want some advice? Go home. You're far too inquisitive, and here in East Carmine curiosity only ends one way."
"Death?"
"Worse - enlightenment.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey

“After all, color in itself has no color — it's simply a construction of the mind: a sensation, like the Humming Chorus from Madame Butterfly and the smell of honeysuckle.”
― Jasper Fforde, Shades of Grey