UnLearn Quotes

“You are in control of your actions but not always the result of those actions and there are far more factors at play than your own will that will decide what you get out of life.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“We are not meant to be happy all the time, at least in terms of constant bliss. Our brains cannot always be high on dopamine. If they were meant to be then narcotic drugs wouldn’t be so harmful.

A better and more realistic aspiration than constant happiness, is “reasonable peace”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Life often tricks you into believing that you can only be happy when you accomplish something. The problem is accomplishing some goals is not totally under your control and even if you accomplish them, sometimes they may not give you the happiness you think you will get.

For example, you may achieve what you were looking for, but in the obsession for finding happiness in the future, you may very well ruin everything good that you have today including health, relationships and peace of mind. How can you anyway enjoy any of your "success" without those three things?

So, stop believing that happiness lies at the end of the tunnel. Instead try to cultivate happiness in the process, regardless of the result. This way, whether you succeed or fail, everything will still be worth it.

Here's a hard truth. Almost no one really cares about you, so make sure you start caring for yourself!”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Some leaders keep repeating or mentioning that there was some study conducted in Harvard or Yale that only 3 percent of people had set goals and written down these goals and they made more money than 97 percent of people!

Well first of all, statements containing precise statistics, particularly ones with little empirical evidence, are often based on cooked up or questionable data.

And secondly, there was no such study at either Harvard or Yale. It has just been repeated from one inspirational dude to another until it become a part of folklore.

It has also been incorrectly repeated in another inspirational dude, Sir Anubhav Srivastava’s film Carve Your Destiny ten years ago. On a sidenote, I have no connections whatsoever with this gentleman. Who is he?!”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“If a group or an organization can work like a machine with access to plenty of resources and has no bias towards negative emotions, goal setting can STILL be useful.

As individuals though, our lives are highly unpredictable and we have a huge tendency towards being overly emotional about the result. The wrong result can put you into a deep depression, and the rare, “right result” inflate your ego far more than it is good for you, and eventually mess up your life anyway.

Let me explain even further. A machine or a crane can work for far more hours, with far more power at a far more efficient pace than any human without getting tired, getting hungry, getting restless or feeling frustrated. Can a human do it? NO! Because we are built differently! The same kind of outcome driven goal setting that may work for organizations is usually a terrible idea for individuals.

Here is what you should remember - If you are setting goals, especially goals where the results depend greatly on factors outside your control, the only ones you should set are the ones that focus on the ACTIONS you will take.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Goal Setting is propagated by modern society as some kind of panacea or solution for overcoming any life obstacle. The problem is most of the popular advice that modern society gives you is either wrong or consists of half-truths at best.

I reiterate, that as individuals, it is better NOT to set Goals that obsessively focus on the RESULTS you are going to achieve, especially in areas where the outcome is inherently unpredictable and out of your control. Those goals will only stress you out and do more harm than good in the long run.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“There is a fine line between sacrificing for the future and completely ruining your present.

Forcing yourself to work harder and harder, making yourself miserable and forgoing sleep, if your body doesn't allow it, won't make you luckier but only unhealthier, both physically and mentally.

And bad health brings no good luck.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Many people often try to make you feel guilty when you choose to relax. They say, you should suffer now and enjoy the rewards later. The truth is you can regret working too hard. In my life, ironically, I have no regret for the times I had fun and stayed away from "work.". I regret the years where I have worked so hard that I have completely missed out on making good memories.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Sleep is NOT the enemy of productivity, but rather the foundation of productivity.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“There was a man who was greatly motivated by Edison who used to believe that one should sleep only when they are dead. True to his philosophy, this motivated guy died as a result falling asleep at the steering wheel”- Sir Anubhav Srivastava (Mentor of Sir Thomas Edison)”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Instead of seeking out role models, we need to start seeking out role model qualities. This will allow us to see the negatives even in those we like and stop us from aping their negative qualities. At the same time, this will allow us to study the good qualities even in those we do not like, the application of which can take us to the next level.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“When you achieve the society’s definition of “success”, you will often find that the number of friends you have goes up. People who would generally ignore you suddenly want to be friends with you. People and relatives, you hardly ever knew suddenly turn up reminding of you of the “close bond” you once shared. But does the number of genuine friends go up, really? No. It remains unchanged.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Anything taken to the extreme is bad and being too nice is no different. It is only going to lead you to becoming a doormat who will be stomped upon as per the other person’s wishes. Decide to change ways and don’t be afraid of people’s opinions. People are always going to have an opinion anyway. Even when you would say yes to everything, they probably made fun of you behind your back for being gullible. Let them complain about your changed attitude if they want, at least this time you are leading life on your terms, not theirs.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“The more you are readily available for someone all the time, the cheaper your value becomes in their mind. Value has nothing to do with need, it has everything to do with availability. What do you think is the thing that we need the most in life to survive? It is oxygen. Oxygen is even more important than water because without it we can’t even survive for more than a few minutes and yet no one values it because it is so readily available.

But put their head underwater and they will realize the value of oxygen in less than a minute and be desperate for it. They will be gasping for breath and the only thing they will want at that time is some oxygen to breathe. From something they didn’t value at all, in a minute it becomes the only thing they ever need. Oxygen was always important for them but they didn’t value it because they didn’t notice its absence.

People who use you are no different. If you always make yourself available to ungrateful people, they will continue to use you and never value you even if you are someone absolutely crucial to their very survival.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Most “nice” people are terribly afraid of judgement. They are afraid of what people will say about them should they stop saying yes to everything or display a change of attitude. Well guess what, people are always going to form an opinion. Do you really think people respect you because you are a very nice person who never says no? Of course not, they most probably make fun of you and tell others how easy it is to manipulate someone like you. In their eyes, you have no respect. They are still forming opinions about you while you are miserable.

When you change, their opinions will change, but they will still have an opinion. They are probably not going to make fun of you and instead complain about how you have changed or become rude just because it is no longer so easy to manipulate you. The criticism will always be there.

If they don’t like your change in attitude, who cares? It’s not like you were treated with genuine respect and dignity earlier. They are going to still have an opinion, albeit a changed one, but at least this time you are actually happy instead of being miserable!”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Having self-respect and having an ego are two different things. An ego is all about trying to establish superiority over the other person, it’s about trying to show the other person that it is they that wield power and the other person should bow down to their whims.

Self-respect is different. It is about having a healthy self-image of yourself and being confident. It’s about thinking highly of yourself without thinking low of others. It’s about looking at yourself in the mirror and being proud of who you are, instead of being ashamed of what you are being forced to become”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“You can be the most loyal person on earth and some people will still have problems with what you didn't do instead of appreciating what all the great things you did!”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“The world is a huge place. Whether it is a romantic partner you are looking for or a business partner or a customer, remember it is better to spend your energy trying to woo someone who is already interested than annoying the hell out of someone who has already said no.

Devote your energy to someone who already sees your worth, not those who are blind to it!”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Great conversationalists strike a fine balance between getting to know the other person without appearing like an interrogator and sharing interesting details about themselves without appearing like a narcissist.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Success in life is not a debate competition. Don’t you assume that just because you prove yourself right in a conversation, it is always going to have a positive effect on you and your career.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Understand that every relationship in the world is a “give and take” relationship. Every single one. Unless you can prove you will provide value to people even if it's years down the line, or at least have a high “perceived value,” you can’t expect anything in return.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Understand that every relationship in the world is a “give and take” relationship. Every single one. Unless you can prove you will provide value to people even if its years down the line, or at least have a high “perceived value,” you can’t expect anything in return.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“I don’t go to a lot of networking events, especially not random ones because it seems everyone is only pushing themselves. And why not ? After all, isn’t the point of networking trying to find people who can become allies in helping you achieve your goals? Technically, yes.

But most people do it the wrong way, over promote themselves and become super annoying. Instead of trying to show how they can provide value to the other person, they are interested in how they can extract value out of the other person. Again, there is nothing wrong with pushing your own interests, but unless you are giving something of value to people in return, it’s not going to happen”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Everybody at some point needed the support of someone or the embrace of someone. Someone who would open the door for them when nobody else did. Someone who pushed them up the ladder while everybody else was trying to pull them down. Whether you realize this or not, whatever you will achieve out of life will never be out of your efforts alone.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“For an organization with ample resources that is dependent on multiple individuals, goal setting is incredibly powerful.
For individuals themselves though, long term goal setting is more of a recipe for frustration and burnout, especially if they are goals not within your direct control and your self-worth is tied to that goal.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“The next time someone annoys you about the miraculous benefits of practicing positive thinking or the Law of Attraction ALL THE TIME, ask them to jump off a plane and bet on the Law of Attraction saving them from the Law of Gravity.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Motivational Gurus often ask people their 5-year goals, 10-year goals or even 20-year goals. Those who can’t answer that are considered aimless. We are given the illusion that we can plan out our entire life with extreme precision. You couldn’t be more wrong. Life is not a game of chess where you can plan all your moves ahead or have a backup move for everything. There are countless forces influencing what happens to you.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“The reality is that businesses fail all the time and if you go into business thinking absolutely positive, selling your land or taking a huge loan and assuming everything will be rosy, you are going to fail, unless you are incredibly lucky.

You may be seen as an inspiration to naïve people, but you are still a bad role model, because your decision-making process will lead to failure for anyone following you.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Large scale goal setting works best at an organizational level but not an individual level.

It's because the more resources you have the more you can ensure that you take all the steps necessary to lead to a predictable outcome. Even if one or more resources fail, as long as you have the muscle power you still have higher chances of a predictable outcome.

This is the reason why the chances of a major Hollywood studio that hires famous stars and putting in loads of money striking box office gold and making hundreds of millions of dollars are much higher than an independent filmmaker’s chances, which could pretty much be one in a million no matter how well he/she plans.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life

“Goal setting works best when there is the will, the skill, the resources and a very strong risk management strategy.

Have any of these missing and the chances of your goals being successfully achieved goes down. Even with all of the four, the chances of success are not guaranteed because the uncertainty factor can be lowered with proper planning but can never be zero.

Conventional, long term goal setting is thus great for an organization that has the will, the skill, the resources, a methodical approach to goal setting and a solid risk management strategy.

But on an individual level, extremely long-term goal setting is largely a hit or miss game.”
― Anubhav Srivastava, UnLearn: A Practical Guide to Business and Life