The Mane Attraction Quotes

“But Sissy had a way of bringing out the "fun" side of anybody if she'd a mind to. To quote Janie Mae, "Sissy came out of my womb with her middle finger raised.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Okay. Let's see what we've got." He lifted up her foot and said, "Well, what we've got here is a freakin' boat."

Really?" She slammed her heel against the side of his face, snapping his head to one side. "How big are they now, Mitch?"

Rubbing the abused side of his face, "Dainty little elf feet?"

"Exactly.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Are you going to tame our little Sissy, Mitchell?

Sissy rubbed her face, annoyed, and Mitch answered honestly, "I'm really too lazy to try and tame anybody. If I had my way, I'd spend all day sleeping under a tree, maybe rolling out occasionally to sun my belly, and then I expect someone to bring me food. I could live like that forever!”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Momentarily forgetting this wasn’t one of her She-wolves, Sissy automatically teased, “Good thing
my brother likes women with meat on their bones ’cause your ass is gonna be gettin’ wide.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she wished she could take them back.
But without missing a beat, Jessie shot back, “Cool. Now I can start wearing your jeans. I thought
that was only going to be possible during the late stages of the pregnancy.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Mitch stood. "How is this my fault? I'm not the one with the pussy that drains the life from a man!"

"And i'm not the one hung like an overendowed donkey”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“She glanced down at the ground and the inert form of her brother. “What happened to Travis?”

Mitch winced. “I hit him with the door after I tore it off. It was a total accident.”

“Marry me,” she spouted before she could stop herself.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Why don’t you admit I’ve been robbed of my musical career because society can’t handle my innate sexuality?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“It had taken him by surprise when the bride had asked him. Why would she
want him in her wedding? And that’s exactly what he’d asked her. She’d smiled up at him, those big, brown wild dog eyes of hers making him feel all protective of her, and then she’d told him, “Because, dude, you’re our karaoke king, and we worship at your altar.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Can you believe him? I think the boy has lost his goddamn mind. Who the fuck plays tug with a crocodile?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“They watched as the Shaw brothers played tug of war with a crocodile over what Travis would guess was a nine-point buck. The buck was still kicking, too, but that didn’t stop the brothers or the croc.

“I’m sensing the crazy gene, hoss,” Donnie mumbled.

“Ya think?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Brendon wasn’t exactly surprised to find Mitch sitting by the lake at three in the morning, staring out over the still water. Of course, he would have much preferred if he wasn’t sitting with a crocodile next to him. It was one thing to enjoy a predatory game of tug with him, but it was another to treat him like the family’s pet dog.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“I’m not talking about them. We told you before, Smith, we wouldn’t play if her”—he pointed at Sissy—“or her”—he pointed at Ronnie—“were playing.”

Mitch looked at her. “Uh…Sissy?”

Sissy rounded on the coach. “I can’t believe you are still holding that against us. It’s been years!”

“He was in traction for three months. A shifter! In traction!”

“He was in my way!”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“You can’t be hungry.”

“You keep saying that like you expect my answer to change.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“That’s why Ronnie was Sissy’s best friend. She hated all the right people.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“You took my Lotus!”

Sissy choked on her champagne, and Ronnie started looking for the exits or law enforcement with arrest warrants.

Lord, what is the statute of limitations again?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“She kissed Mitch on the forehead. “Hello, pretty kitty.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Mitch opened his eyes, closed them, and then opened them wide. “There are big breasts in my face,” he announced to anyone who would listen.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Sissy could walk home while you drive me and the groceries back.”

“Or,” Sissy countered, “I could gut you here and let your rotting corpse attract the hyenas while we go home and enjoy a nice, quiet meal at my parents’ house.”

Mitch thought about that a moment but finally shook his head. “That doesn’t really work for me.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Mitch, Mitch, Mitch. If I stay, you’ll only fall madly in love with me like so many men before you.”

“It’s you we have to worry about,” he sighed out. “You’ve already been trapped in my erotic web of lust. Might as well give it up to the daddy of all cats.”

Grinning, Sissy stretched out next to Mitch, her arm thrown over his waist. “You keep on dreamin’ that dream, kitty.”

“I will. I own ponies in that dream, too.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Mitch glanced at Ralph and back at Brendon. “I think he’s snoring.”

“Or those are hunger growls.”

“Bastard.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Really, Mitch Shaw had absolutely no shame. Sissy knew this when he walked into the Lewis Sisters’ Pie Shop and dropped to his knees in front of the cold case. His hands rested on the glass, and he looked at each pie like a small child would. “I…I can’t make up my mind,” he gasped. Like Mitch needed to make up his mind. He could finish everything in that case and still be hungry less than an hour from now.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“She pushes you because she wants you to be the best.”

“The best at what? Matricide?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Isn’t it enough you have poor Mitch here playing against bears?”

They all looked at “poor Mitch,” who seemed to be having the equivalent of an orgasm eating that slice of cherry pie.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Explain to me again how matricide is illegal in some states,” Sissy growled from behind him as he pulled her toward the enormous staircase.

“In all states. Plus, I think there are some moral restrictions around it, too.”

“That’s not fair. Clearly, these lawmakers haven’t met my mother.”

“I wouldn’t know. Besides, this is all so foreign to me,” he explained once they hit the top step.

“My mother loves me and would do anything for me, so I’ve never had a desire to kill her.” Light brown eyes abruptly narrowed.

“Throw that in my face again, and your sweet momma will be
nursing your mauled body back to health.”

“Sweet talker.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Now y’all, cut it out. Brothers and sisters shouldn’t act like this.”

Sissy stared at her brother’s mate. “Are you new to the neighborhood?”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“I swear, Bobby Ray, you don’t have the sense the Lord gave a rabbit.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“They stared at each other for several seconds. Finally, Mitch said, “Thanks for your high level of concern.”

“It doesn’t quite live up to your high level of whining.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Mitch grabbed hold of the car keys and held them over his head so Sissy couldn’t get them. She, in turn, grabbed his nuts and twisted until he gave her the damn keys.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“Either Mitch goes with me…or get used to finding your wife hiding in trees.”

“That’s just mean.”

“I’m a Smith. What did you expect?”

“Good point.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction

“To work, Sissy. To. Work. Not to start shit. Not to race. Not to gamble. And definitely not to get arrested or turn all of Japan against you. Remember, I’m not stationed right around the corner like before.”
― Shelly Laurenston, The Mane Attraction