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Eating Disorders

The Road to Recovery: Saving Daughters from Eating Disorders

Your daughter with an eating disorder might feel like a stranger to you.

Key points

  • Eating disorders can disrupt normal adolescent pursuit of independence.
  • Daughters with eating disorders become disconnected from themselves and their families.
  • The onset of illness often leaves parents feeling like they lost the daughter they once knew.
  • Parents can seek multi-faceted, specialized treatment to help their daughters overcome eating disorders.
Alena Darmel/Pexels
Source: Alena Darmel/Pexels

Mothers undergo a poignant experience when confronted with the inevitable separation from their teenage daughters as their time for independence unfolds. Often close and marked by affection in earlier years, the relationship with adolescent daughters undergoes a transformative shift as they embark on the journey toward adult responsibilities. Hugs and kisses that were once welcomed are now received with embarrassment.

Teens break away from their parents and want independence. They often question authority, prefer friends over family, and wish for more freedom. While tensions with parents often rise, it’s a normal part of adolescent development.

What happens when an eating disorder disrupts the natural progression of adolescent development? The premature separation of a daughter from her family due to an eating disorder often has devastating effects on families. There is no smooth transition from childhood to self-reliance. Instead, at an average age of 12, just when other girls are undergoing healthy maturation and gradually separating from their parents, those with developing eating disorders are disconnecting from their parents.

Under normal circumstances, the emotional toll of witnessing daughters assert their independence and venture into the broader world is profound for mothers. The pain of separation mingles with pride in seeing their daughters blossom into capable, self-reliant individuals. In the scenario of adolescent eating disorders, parents watch their daughters enter into an anxiety-driven world characterized by a fear of weight gain and coordinated behaviors aimed at achieving weight loss. Mothers witness their daughters becoming entangled in an illness marked by body dissatisfaction and a relentless pursuit of thinness. Hopes of healthy maturation diminish.

SplitShire/Pixabay
Source: SplitShire/Pixabay

When a daughter is lost to an eating disorder, parents often find themselves in a state of desperation as they seek treatment to rescue their child from the clutches of this debilitating illness. The struggle with body image, anxiety, and the unyielding quest for thinness can indeed create a challenging and isolating experience for parents. They find it difficult to witness their child’s disconnection from themselves and their loved ones. It is the pain of disconnection that often motivates parents to seek treatment so they can “get back” the pre-illness child they remember.

Once the signs of an eating disorder are detected, families should seek professional help despite trends to not seek treatment. Recent research continues to show poor help-seeking rates (less than half) for adolescents with eating disorders. Reasons range from denial of the need for treatment and lack of interest in sharing problems with outsiders to waiting for eating disorder symptoms to create more serious and obvious dysfunction.

Once treatment is sought, the road to healing involves addressing not only the physical aspects of the illness but also the emotional and psychological aspects. Therefore, treatment usually involves a combination of medical, nutritional, and psychological support. The journey to recovery is complex, lengthy, and can be challenging. As many experts in the field have pointed out, it is akin to a marathon, not a sprint. However, the rewards for liberating a teen from the grip of an eating disorder make the journey worthwhile.

Monstera Production/Pexels
Source: Monstera Production/Pexels

References

Feltner, C., Peat, C., Reddy, S., Riley, S., Berkman, N., Middleton, J. C., ... & Jonas, D. E. (2022). Screening for eating disorders in adolescents and adults: evidence report and systematic review for the US Preventive Services Task Force. Jama, 327(11), 1068-1082.

Nicula, M., Pellegrini, D., Grennan, L., Bhatnagar, N., McVey, G., & Couturier, J. (2022). Help-seeking attitudes and behaviours among youth with eating disorders: a scoping review. Journal of Eating Disorders, 10(1), 21.

Tantillo, M., Sanftner, J., & Hauenstein, E. (2013). Restoring connection in the face of disconnection: An integrative approach to understanding and treating anorexia nervosa. Advances in Eating Disorders, 1(1), 21-38.

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