It doesn't really come as a surprise that President Barack Obama, he of the Donnie McClurkin campaign concert and Rick Warren inaugural invocation, isn't the fierce advocate he once promised to be for the LGBTQI community. But even though it's not a surprise, it's still a disappointment.
Although some might say that campaign promises are made to be broken, surely he knows that not all campaign promises are equal. Some cannot be made casually, like promises to end a war. A promise to be an ally, no less a fierce ally, to marginalised people who suffer institutional discrimination, whose inequality is codified into our very laws, who live at disproportionate risk for hate crimes because of the violent prejudice woven into our national fabric, is the kind of promise that cannot be made casually.
And yet, since he's come into office, Obama's delivered almost nothing on that promise. "Don't ask, don't tell" is little more than a can to be kicked down the road. The Defence of Marriage Act, which Obama described on the campaign trail as an "abhorrent" law, has suddenly become worthy of his administration's defence, in the most despicable terms.
Now he's thrown a sop to gay Americans by extending minimal benefits to partners of gay federal employees, in the form of an administrative memo that will expire when he leaves office, necessitating employees to publicly come out, not knowing if the subsequent administration will force them back into the closet – or out of a job.
Our president must do better.
I am well aware of the arguments against his truly leading on this important civil rights issue and pressing the Democratic majority in Congress to get things rolling. I know there are people who say it's politically risky. But so is sweeping healthcare reform. The only difference is that Obama is willing to take the stand that healthcare reform is both necessary and the right thing to do.
I also know that there are people who argue there are more important things to do right now, that acting on gay rights will be a distraction, that the Republican party will make a big fuss about the president's priorities. But surely this is not a serious argument to make against the man who has flaunted his ability to multitask in the face of those who asserted he had too many big issues to juggle at once.
And surely, contra the conventional wisdom, a lot on the proverbial plate makes for the perfect time to slip in a little gay activism, when the "more important things" frame can be turned around on any dissenters, on any opposition parties who get the terrible idea to, say, hold the economy hostage just because of a little equality. After all, it's when there's nothing else going on that the media obsesses over so-called gifts to special interests and parades out every bloviating homo-bigot from here to Timbuktu to turn people's lives and basic equality into a game of tetherball on the public playground.
This is the time. It's well beyond the point where a president can make statements passively saying he "would like to see" DOMA repealed or DADT overturned or any other bit of long overdue equality.
Barack Obama wanted to be the leader. Now it's time to lead.