guest host with the Most

Martin Short Rips Into Trump’s “Tiny Hands” on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

As a guest host for Kimmel, Short has taken shots at Trump, his potential VP picks, and the state of the former president’s marriage.
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Disney/Randy Holmes.

It’s only Martin Short (and friends) in the building this week at the El Capitan Entertainment Center, since Jimmy Kimmel enlisted the Only Murders in the Building star to serve as guest host of Jimmy Kimmel Live! while he’s away on summer vacation. Short began his run with a bang, taking several shots at Donald Trump.

On Monday, the veteran comedian turned his attention to Donald Trump and the question on the minds of many Americans: Who’s going to be his VP? “Donald Trump says he is close to finding his running mate and has narrowed it down to three people. It was four, but then O.J. died,” said Short. “What a choice Trump has in his tiny little hands!” Short then joked that one contender, North Dakota governor Doug Burgum, sounds like “the name of your most annoying coworker,” while Ohio senator J.D. Vance once said that he thought Trump “was either a cynical asshole like Nixon or America’s Hitler.”

“When have you ever said something like that about somebody and then changed your mind?” asked Short.

He then turned his attention to the presidential debate this coming Thursday between Trump and President Joe Biden. Trump, Short said, is attempting to “manage expectations” by claiming that Biden “will be on drugs,” then played a clip of Trump saying he wanted both candidates to submit a drug test before the debate. “Do you have any idea how long it takes to get a urine sample from men who are close to 80?” Short said. “I’m 74, and the only time I don’t have to pee is when I’m peeing.”

On Tuesday, Short went back to ridiculing Trump. “The producers are saying it’s time for my contractually obligated Jimmy Kimmel Live! Trump jokes,” Short said. “It’s apparently a must around here.” This time, he focused his sights on Trump’s estranged wife Melania, who, according to an Axios report, may not return to the White House should Trump win a second term.

"I actually have a little empathy for Melania,” Short said. “I mean, [when] she entered into this marriage, she had a certain expectation. And that expectation was that the average life expectancy for an American male is 76.3 years old.” It really is Only Murders in the Building when Martin Short is cracking jokes.