Costco Is Selling Doomsday Food Buckets: Is The Apocalypse Near?

ACROSS AMERICA — It may have seemed rather apocalyptic at times lately — we’re talking about the weather, but what were you thinking?

Regardless of your read on it, Costco has you covered with apocalypse-ready food buckets with 150 servings of freeze-dried ready-to-eat meals — 80 servings of entrées and sides, 30 breakfasts and 40 drink servings. This food with a 25-year shelf life will last longer than your car or washing machine, but perhaps not as long as a fast-food french fry on the floor of your car.

“That’s more scary than the apocalypse,” someone said on Instagram of the food that’ll last a quarter of a century.

“So if the apocalypse doesn’t kill you, this bucket of chemicals will,” another person commented.

The Readywise Emergency Food Supply Bucket includes things like teriyaki rice, Alfredo pasta, chicken-flavored noodle soup and whey milk alternative. You’ve chapped your lips just licking them in anticipation, haven’t you?

Let’s picture these doomsday dinners in your pantry, and think about where your limited-shelf-life regular pasta and rice may be hiding. But then again, customers seriously interested in buying this probably already have a bunker with enough shelf space for 100 kits.

All of this brings begs the question. Does Costco know something about end times that we don’t?

Jeffrey Eisner, a cookbook author, wonders that, too. He posted a video on Instagram, saying: “They have buckets that they’re calling emergency food supply. … I guess this is for when the apocalypse hits, which could be any time now?”

“So you know when the world collapses and caves in, as long as you have your Readywise Emergency Food Supply, all is right in the world,” he added. “I really want to sample this. Why don’t they have this here for free samples?”

Oh and the 150-meal buckets cost $99.99.

Is that a coincidence? Costco doesn’t say, but probably. A $20 savings takes the price down to $79.99. That’s kind of a bummer for people looking for a sign. The number 9999 is considered by some to be a powerful and spiritual “angel number” that signals the end of a life cycle or phase and the beginning of a new one.

Here’s what the membership warehouse club did say:

“In a world where unpredictability has become a constant, our assortment takes on a vital role in emergency preparedness. Imagine the sudden onset of severe weather, the challenges of unexpected job transitions, or the unsettling thought of food shortages. These are the moments when having a reliable source of sustenance becomes a game-changer.”

Many people commenting on Instagram said the food buckets are a smart idea as storms become more frequent. The jokes weren’t as good, though.

“I like that someone thought to consider our desire for variety during the apocalypse,” someone commented on Eisner’s Instagram post.

“Ok, then what?” another person asked. “What happens after the bucket of food is gone?”

“Learn how to hunt and fish,” one person suggested.

“You hunt and eat your neighbors,” another retorted

Need more convincing end times are near?