Community Corner

ICYMI: How To Raise Kids Who Practice Gratitude

Do your children practice gratitude? Parents have a big role to play, and they have to do more than just tell their kids to be grateful.

Simply telling children they need to be grateful is "not helpful," Robin Gurwitch, a psychologist and professor at the Duke University School of Medicine​, told Patch. " They don’t know how to do that if they don’t see it."
Simply telling children they need to be grateful is "not helpful," Robin Gurwitch, a psychologist and professor at the Duke University School of Medicine​, told Patch. " They don’t know how to do that if they don’t see it." (Darrian Traynor/Getty Images)

ACROSS AMERICA — It starts the moment a toddler babbles their first word. As parents, we remind them: “Say please,” when they ask for something and “Say thank you” once they receive it.

Saying “thank you” is expressing gratitude in its simplest form. But as the holidays approach, we think of those gone by and wonder: Do our kids actually understand the meaning behind those words? Do they truly realize and appreciate the sources of the good things in their lives?

Living with gratitude is more than saying “thank you.” For some, it’s as simple as making a deliberate choice, "an affirmation of goodness" in the world, according to Robert Emmons, a University of California, Davis, psychology professor known as the "father of gratitude."

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Practicing gratitude isn't pretending bad things didn't happen, experts say, but rather savoring the goodness in our lives and understanding that being grateful begets more goodness.

Patch explores the intentionality of gratitude in “30 Days Of Gratitude.” Come back to Across America Patch every day through November and read more about gratitude.

But gratitude is not inherent. It must be taught. It goes beyond words and good manners — gratitude is an action, and it’s one that inarguably starts with parents.

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“If we simply tell our kids they need to be grateful, that’s not helpful. They don’t know how to do that if they don’t see it,” Robin Gurwitch, a psychologist and professor at the Duke University School of Medicine, told Patch. “If we want to raise grateful children, we need to show gratitude as well.”

» Read the full story.

(Editor’s note: This story was originally published on Nov. 12 as part of Patch’s “30 Days Of Gratitude” series.)


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