Freddie Flintoff leaves fans in tears as he reveals he suffers 'nightmares' from his Top Gear crash

By Matthew Lodge and Eirian Jane Prosser 01:24 14 Aug 2024, updated 13:50 14 Aug 2024

• READ MORE: Freddie Flintoff reveals the haunting aftermath of Top Gear crash
• READ MORE: CHRISTOPHER STEVENS reviews Freddie Flintoff's Field of Dreams
• WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT

Freddie Flintoff left fans in tears last night by revealing how he suffers from 'nightmares and flashbacks' after his horror Top Gear crash.

Opening up on his struggles in a new series of Freddie Flintoff's Field of Dreams, the father-of-three said it had been 'so hard to cope' with crippling anxiety that left him unable to leave the house in the months following the incident in December 2022. 

The cricket legend admitted the after effects of the crash might follow him 'for the rest of my life' and said he believes he 'genuinely shouldn't be here' after he flipped a three-wheeled car at Dunsfold Park Aerodrome while filming for Top Gear.

In one heartrending scene the 46-year-old tells a group of teenagers he might need to leave to 'go cry in my room' if things become too overwhelming after his struggles to leave the house in the aftermath of the incident.

Flintoff also shared shocking images of his injuries from just a week-and-a-half after the crash, with viewers praising the 'inspirational' former cricket star for his candidness with many left 'crying their eyes out' at the programme.

The photos and video of his recovery were shown on the BBC programme last night, 20 months on from the crash in a £43,000 Morgan Super 3 that came close to claiming his life.

Flintoff, who reportedly reached a £9million settlement with the BBC over the crash which was paid for by the broadcaster's commercial arm, quit Top Gear in the aftermath and it has since been put on hiatus.

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The cricketer-turned-broadcaster has been rarely seen in public since the incident, after his devoted wife Rachael, 42, reportedly 'begged' him to stay off work and take time to recover.

However, the broadcaster, which apologised to him in March 2023 for his injuries, brought him back for the new series of Field of Dreams, which sees him take a group of youngsters on a cricket tour to India.

In the show Flintoff emotionally reveals the consequences of the incident will follow him 'for the rest of my life' and admits he has to deal with nightmares and flashbacks to the fateful day.

The England cricket legend's openness moved viewers of the programme to tears, with many praising him for discussing his struggles following the crash.

One wrote: 'Watching the new Freddie Flintoff's Field of Dreams and I could weep. Probably will. What a man. My absolutely hero since I was 13.'

Another said: 'Wow. I hope Freddie Flintoff realises how brave he is. He is an inspiration to so many people. Bravery and courage are the words that spring to mind. Anxiety may be there but with this attitude he will get through anything.'

A third added: 'Freddie Flintoff is so brave. To take these kids to India after a life-changing accident is so generous. And the joy of playing cricket in a Kolkata alley.'

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Others called him a 'true inspiration', 'an absolute legend' and 'a top bloke' as they watched the programme.

In one part of the programme, filmed seven months after the accident, it is revealed he has had a number of operations. But the programme explains that apart from hospital appointments Flintoff has rarely been leaving the house.

He tells the show: 'I thought I could just shake it off. I wanted to shake it off and say 'I'm alright' but it's not been a case of that. It's been a lot harder than I thought. As much as I wanted to go out and do things, I've just not been able to.'

In the programme the star tells his friend, former Lancashire teammate Kyle Hogg, that the thought of taking the youngsters on the cricket trip has kept him going during the tough times.

He tells him: 'I think about it all the time and I think about going and how good it would be.

'I rewind then, thinking: 'Well am I...?' I don't leave the house hardly. Got to get on a plane, going to be away for two and a half weeks.

'But some of them lads have had a tough life You've got to try and put into perspective. And I feel guilty I can't do that.

'I don't want to sit here and feel sorry for myself and I don't want sympathy. But it's going from being in here for seven months, really, and then going to India for two-and-a-half weeks.

'Everywhere I go at the minute, I've got a full face-mask and glasses on. I can't do that.'

Speaking about how to go on with life after the accident, Freddie admits: 'As much as I want to go out and do things... I've just not been able to.'

He added: 'I struggle with anxiety. I have nightmares and flashbacks, it's been so hard to cope.'

During the new series, in which he takes a group of youngsters on a cricket tour to India, he admits that while away he may need to 'take myself off' to 'go cry in my room'. 

When one of the young cricketers on the tour with him asks him if he is 100 per cent now, he replies: 'Not really. I'm not sure I ever will [ever feel better] again, to be honest. I'm better than I was.

He adds: 'I don't know what completely better is. I am what I am now. I'm different to what I was. It's something I will probably have to deal with for the rest of my life. So…better? No, different.'

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In another clip, taken less than two weeks after the crash, he shows the camera the shocking injuries to his face. 

He says: 'Week-and-a-half after my accident. Genuinely, should not be here with what happened.

'It's going to be a long road back and I've only just started and I am struggling already and I need help. I really am.'

He added: 'I'm not the best at asking for it. I need to stop crying every two minutes. I am looking forward to seeing the lads and being around them. I really am.'

Flintoff tells the programme: 'Got to look on the positive: I'm still here. I've got another chance and I've got a go at it. I am seeing that as how it is - a second go.'

But it is the teenage cricket team he created from his hometown of Preston who give him the motivation to get out into the world again.

In emotional scenes set to air on the show, one of the boys tells him: 'I missed you'.

Once the team is in Kolkata in India, Freddie says he is 'reaching out to cricket to help me'.

He says: 'Cricket is like a religion in India. It's just everywhere you go. And Kolkata is different to other places I've been to.

'To me, Kolkata is authentic India and the more time I spent there, the more I grew an affinity and a connection to the place because we all learnt so much and it's had such an impact on all of our lives.

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'I've been to some amazing places like Victoria Falls - and I see it and I think, 'That's all right. That'll do.' But Kolkata, the more time I spent there, the more I enjoyed it and it really grew on me and got under my skin.

'Viewers can expect everything! Seeing India, tears, joy, life lessons, hope, ambition, passion, wins, losses and a lot of heat. I think it will be unlike anything you've ever seen before, from start to finish. I really do.'

He adds: 'When I'm around cricket, I seem to forget everything, I lose myself in the game.

'I feel like I've been more vulnerable than I ever have in my life in the past 12 months.'

During a discussion about the programme, the cricketer reflected on how the eventual trip to India with the group of youngsters turned out to be a positive experience.

He told journalists: 'I suppose I found a confidence out there again, which had been lacking a little bit in recent times.'

Flintoff added: 'I always wanted to get back in it, I probably shouldn't say it in this room, but I fell into a TV trap and doing TV, this, that and the other.

'Now, moving forward, obviously I would love to do more coaching, I don't know in what entity or where. I am quite open-minded about it all and then a little bit of TV as well, carry on with this.'

Freddie Flintoff's Field of Dreams On Tour aired on BBC1 at 9pm on Tuesday and is available on iPlayer.