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325 pages, Kindle Edition
First published July 30, 2023
“You’ll know you’re in love when being around them never feels long enough. Everything you learn about them will be beautiful pockets of information, no matter how flawed. Your hands will be clammy, and you’ll trip over your words when you’re around them. But if they love you back, they’ll only think that it makes you lovelier.”
“Don’t worry if the flowers pass, I’ll be right there to plant you more and when the soil grows old, I’ll comfort it in the chaos of the storm.”
“She lives in between the pinks and yellows of the world where a beautiful color is unknown to others and when she speaks, I become a bee enthralled in a field of daisies.”
“I want an all-consuming love. Not one that suffocates, but one that makes me so thankful that my chest feels physically overwhelmed with emotion. To have this silent, unspoken communication with a person through touch and gazes. I want to be noticed in a crowded room. I want to be the only person in a crowded room. I want to be wanted, truly wanted, and desired. I want to laugh and to sing and to dance with someone and not feel self-conscious over it because I love them and I’m confident that they love me. I want to be touched and kissed and held because I’ve forgotten what it feels like…and yet, I think I deserve it.”
“The whole book,” he breathed. “Every poem in there is about you. Everything I wrote came back to you.”
“My favorite flowers were always daisies.”
“I’m saying that if I knew four years ago that you loved me, I would’ve never let you go.”
“I think they’re watching,” I whispered.
“Let them watch,” he whispered back.
“The lover and the archer, they’d call it. The girl who kept falling in love, and the boy who could receive love from whomever he aimed his heart at.”
“You intoxicate me, Daisy. The scent of flowers lingers on you
everywhere you go, and I always want to follow.”
“Because when you find out the person you’ve been in love with for your entire life loves you back, you’ll spend the rest of your life making up for lost time.”
“Everywhere we go, people are infatuated by you, looking at you and yearning to talk to you. I,” he paused for a long moment. “I am infatuated by you.”
“I’m so grateful for everything I have in life, I am. But when I see you, all I can think about is how much better life would be if you were mine. I’m so infatuated with everything you do, from the color of your lips to the way you slide your hips back and forth when you dance to the way you twist your earrings when you’re upset or how you blush when I touch you and how you breathe when I say Daisy.”
“I wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful because you are. I knew I wouldn’t miss you when you walked in tonight because you’re you. You’re so physically enthralling, let alone when you speak. And when you speak, all of the light in the room comes from you. You’re absolute sunshine and spring.”
“The Hepburn films don’t work anymore?” he asked casually, but it felt anything but casual. How did he remember that I used to rewatch Audrey Hepburn films when I needed inspiration? This was the same person who forgot his locker combination every day, and it never changed, but he somehow remembered this.”
“Two flowers intertwined because they had grown alongside each other for so long.”
“Every few months, I opened the dating apps back up. It was how my dating cycle started. Only choosing to date every few months gave me (1) time to build up my love for romance before I met someone cute for a date, and then (2) be disappointed by how the date went, and finally (3) grow worried that I’ll never find love. I then entered into my romantic-comedy and love-storyland hibernation, where I tried to remind myself that if love existed in films and books, then those stories must’ve been inspired by real love stories too. Right?”
“I tried to stop loving you, but along the way, you found your way into the sound of my laugh, the style of my writing, and the threads of my clothes.”
“How often do you think of him?” He didn’t look at me when he answered. He stared ahead at the father like he was replaying a tragic dream. “Every single day. I see him in every room I walk into, like he’ll be there waiting for me on the other side of the door. Sometimes, I swear I hear his voice in the morning calling me downstairs. And there are instances when I run down and don’t realize it until I’m halfway down the stairs.” He shook his head and made a sound similar to a laugh but resonated it with defeat. “I don't even live in the same house that he raised me in either.”
“I’d rather live through romance movies and be single than have a bunch of average dates.”
“It was as if the moon followed him everywhere he went simply because he was more beautiful than the sun.”
“You’re more radiant than flowers and the sun and no one can take that away from you.”
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "for the hopeless, and hopeful, romantics who don't know they're noticed in a crowded room." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "the lover and the archer, they'd call it. the girl who kept falling in love, and the boy who could receive love from whomever he aimed his heart at." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "the happiness that flooded my chest was enough for me to ignore the lingering crack in my heart. but it wasn't enough for me to ignore how he held onto the pieces that were missing." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "i then entered my romantic-comedy and love-storyland hibernation, where i tried to remind myself that if love stories existed in films and books, then those stories must've been inspired by real loves stories too. right?" ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "could i live like that forever? waiting for my heart to catch up to reality?" ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "i was always nervous that if i shared the unkind words people threw at me, then that's all they'd associate me with." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "it was as if the moon followed him everywhere he went simply because he was more beautiful than the sun." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "i knew how much he loved the way words strung together into a sentence could sound like a song without the music." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "they're my entire life. if they need me, i want them to know that i'll always be there for them. i don't want them to ever feel like they have less of a family because they don't have a dad." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "you intoxicate me, daisy. the scent of flowers lingers on you everywhere you go, and i always want to follow." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "i'd get on my knees and worship her if i could have this every day. her hips my altar and her lips my religion." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "i love you. i love the sound of your voice when you're worried. and i love the way your hair always looks so stupidly perfect, even when it's messy. and i love the way you make me feel; like my heart is about to take off down a runway before catching air. i love it all." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "in truth, levi was the king of my heart." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "the whole book, every poem in there is about you. everything i wrote came back to you." ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "do you hear that? that's my heart knocking against my chest at the sight of you / i've never heard anything more terrifying / how could you provide me air and suffocate me at the same time?" ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "don't worry if the flowers pass, i'll be right there to plant you more / and when the soil grows old, i'll comfort it in the chaos of the storm" ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "burden me with your secrets / so i can carry the weight you're so fearful of letting go" ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "i tried to stop loving you, but along the way, you found your way into the sound of my laugh, the style of my writing, and the threads of my clothes / i would've gone down on my knees just to hear you say yes" ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "she lives in between the pinks and yellows of the world / where a beautiful color is unknown to others / and when she speaks, i become a bee enthralled in a field of daisies" ₊⊹
┆.𖥔 ݁ ˖ "ready to go home?"
"with you, always."₊⊹
꒰ ⊹ ࣪˖ “to be close to you was to be haunted by what i couldn’t have and to be reminded of how much i truly wanted you.”
★ "the lover and the archer, they'd call it. the girl who kept falling in love, and the boy who could receive love from whomever he aimed his heart at."
For the hopeless, and hopeful, romantics who don’t know they’re noticed in a crowded room.
“You’re spring, baby. You’re more radiant than flowers and the sun and no one can take that away from you.”
“You intoxicate me, Daisy. The scent of flowers lingers on you everywhere you go, and I always want to follow.”
“The whole book,” he breathed. “Every poem in there is about you. Everything I wrote came back to you.”
“This is about me?”
“Every. Single. Word.” He breathed those words like they had been prepared for months.
He had this smile on his face that could’ve powered the sun. The corners of his eyes crinkled with laughter; the way dough of croissants creased in the oven. His brown curls bounced with the balls of his feet, and I stared in awe.
“I needed an excuse to see you again.” The surprise was blatant on my face.
“Why?”
He laughed quietly. “I could write a book on why.”
“I’m so grateful for everything I have in life, I am. But when I see you, all I can think about is how much better life would be if you were mine. I’m so infatuated with everything you do, from the color of your lips to the way you slide your hips back and forth when you dance to the way you twist your earrings when you’re upset or how you blush when I touch you and how you breathe when I say Daisy.”
“Daisy,” I moaned. My Daisy.
I’d get on my knees and worship her if I could have this every day. Her hips my altar and her lips my religion.
“You intoxicate me, Daisy. The scent of flowers lingers on you everywhere you go, and I always want to follow.” She felt tense under my hand. Jesus, why couldn’t I say something normal? I’ve been in love with her since I was sixteen, daydreaming about kissing her, and now I was fucking it up.
“If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”
“Love,” I exhaled; that answer had been as easy as drinking water. It existed in all of my daydreams. “I want an all-consuming love. Not one that suffocates, but one that makes me so thankful that my chest feels physically overwhelmed with emotion. To have this silent, unspoken communication with a person through touch and gazes. I want to be noticed in a crowded room. I want to be the only person in a crowded room. I want to be wanted, truly wanted, and desired. I want to laugh and to sing and to dance with someone and not feel self-conscious over it because I love them and I’m confident that they love me. I want to be touched and kissed and held because I’ve forgotten what it feels like…and yet, I think I deserve it.”
By the time I had finished, my face had flushed, and Levi was watching me. Lips parted, eyes curious, and neck taut. His head was only inches away from mine in the dark living room. I so badly wanted to lean forward and show him how I wanted to be kissed. But it wouldn’t have even mattered because he already knew. He knew exactly how to kiss me.
The lover and the archer, they’d call it. The girl who kept falling in love, and the boy who could receive love from whomever he aimed his heart at.
“You love me?” I whispered.
His shoulders relaxed and his eyes went weak with desire. “I love you more than my heart can physically handle.”
She lives in between the pinks and yellows of the world, where a beautiful color is unknown to others
“I wanted to tell you that you looked beautiful because you are. I knew I wouldn’t miss you when you walked in tonight because you’re you. You’re so physically enthralling, let alone when you speak. And when you speak, all of the light in the room comes from you. You’re absolute sunshine and spring.
Romantic playlists burned into CDs. Hearts embroidered into scarves. Soft kisses on foreheads. Dark theaters on rainy Friday nights. Dainty gold jewelry against soft skin. French poems written while drunk. Protective hands against your hips guiding you through crowds. I felt all of it at once.
“Everywhere we go, people are infatuated by you, looking at you and yearning to talk to you. I,” he paused for a long moment. “I am infatuated by you.”
“You’ll know you’re in love when being around them never feels long enough. Everything you learn about them will be beautiful pockets of information, no matter how flawed. Your hands will be clammy, and you’ll trip over your words when you’re around them. But if they love you back, they’ll only think that it makes you lovelier.”
Glances, gazes, eyes following places they shouldn’t have seen / intimacy was to be seen by you; free falling was to be touched by you / there was no such thing as a crowded room where you stood
Do you hear that? That’s my heart knocking against my chest at the sight of you / I’ve never heard anything more terrifying / how could you provide me air and suffocate me at the same time?
“Because when you find out the person you’ve been in love with for your entire life loves you back, you’ll spend the rest of your life making up for lost time.”