Defensive Quotes

“If we feel incarcerated in the trenches of viral wars, let us not give way to a defensive ‘fear’ reflex or offensive ‘rage’ reflex but let us follow our orienting ‘adventure’ reflex and explore the numerous paths to a new reality. ("Corporeal prison")”
― Erik Pevernagie

“Playing nice" comes naturally when our neuroception detects safety and promotes physiological states that support social behavior. However, pro-social behavior will not occur when our neuroception misreads the environmental cues and triggers physiological states that support defensive strategies. After all, "playing nice" is not appropriate or adaptive behavior in dangerous or life-threatening situations. In these situations, humans - like other mammals - react with more primitive neurobiological defense systems. To create relationships, humans must subdue these defensive reactions to engage, attach, and form lasting social bonds. Humans have adaptive neurobehavioral systems for both pro-social and defensive behaviors.”
― Stephen W. Porges, The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation

“She wasn’t soft or pretty; she was hard-edged and cold, like one of those cold bronze statues surrounded by high fences and crowned in razor wire. Don’t touch me, such defenses said, but it wasn’t enough to halt a breach, no. She had thought people only picked the soft-petaled, sweet-smelling flowers, but some people took thorns as a challenge.”
― Nenia Campbell, Escape

“To switch effectively from defense to social engagement strategies, the nervous system must do two things: (1) assess risk, and (2) if the environment looks safe, inhibit the primitive defensive reactions to fight, flight or freeze.”
― Stephen W. Porges, The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation

“Personal growth commences with an ego death. Self-pride blunts personal growth because the ego resists change. The ego wants to maintain the status quo by holding onto false notions of the self. The ego desires me to see all of my failures as someone else’s fault.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

“I need to ask, are you afraid of spiders?"
Nicholas blinked, suddenly caught off guard, "Yes, I'm afraid of spiders."
"Were you always?"
"What are you, a psychiatrist?"
Pritam took a breath. He could feel Laine's eyes on him, appraising his line of questioning.
"Is it possible that the trauma of losing your best friend as a child and the trauma of losing your wife as an adult and the trauma of seeing Laine's husband take his life in front of you just recently..." Pritam shrugged and raised his palms, "You see where I'm going?"
Nicholas looked at Laine. She watched back. Her gray eyes missed nothing.
"Sure," agreed Nicholas, standing. "And my sister's nuts, too, and we both like imagining that little white dogs are big nasty spiders because our daddy died and we never got enough cuddles."
"Your father died?" asked Laine. "When?"
"Who cares?"
Pritam sighed. "You must see this from our point of - "
"I'd love to!" snapped Nicholas. "I'd love to see it from your point of view, because mine is not that much fun! It's insane! It's insane that I see dead people, Pritam! It's insane that this," he flicked out the sardonyx necklace,"stopped me from kidnapping a little girl!"
"That's what you believe," Pritam said carefully.
"That's what I fucking believe!" Nicholas stabbed his finger through the air at the dead bird talisman lying slack on the coffee table.”
― Stephen M. Irwin, The Dead Path

“Soon he essentially stopped talking. "I am retreating into silence as a defensive mode," he mentioned. Eventually, he was down to uttering just five words, and only to guards: yes; no; please; thank you. "I am surprised," he wrote, "by the amount of respect this garners me. That silence intimidates puzzles me. Silence is to me normal, comfortable." Later he added, "I will admit to feeling a little contempt for those who can't keep quiet.”
― Michael Finkel, The Stranger in the Woods: The Extraordinary Story of the Last True Hermit

“There is nothing like the moving solidarity of survivors to bring out seemingly boundless impulse to deflect, deny, and defend.”
― Jamie Arpin-Ricci

“People are only defensive when they have something to defend.”
― Melanie A. Smith, Bad Boys Don't Make Good Boyfriends

“A person whom fails to conquer oneself will always live in fear, and experiences life filled with conflict and emotional storms. Fearfulness prevents a person from perceiving reality and ever knowing oneself. Unable to cope with fear and uncertainty, a person resorts to denial, repression, compromise, and hides behind the mask of a false self.”
― Kilroy J. Oldster, Dead Toad Scrolls

“Never gonna understand why people get so defensive, hostile & offended over choices others make that have absolutely no effect on their life.”
― Nitya Prakash

“An incredulous scowl crossed his face as he saw a gathering of dockworkers, porters, and cabmen near his wife. A navvy called out to her- "Gi' me a smile, ye sweet tidbit! One little smile! What's yer name?"
Cassandra tried to ignore the catcalls, while the coast guard stood by, doing nothing to shield her.
"Now, now, Mr. Severin-" the old harbormaster said, following as Tom headed toward Cassandra with swift, ground-eating strides.
Tom reached his wife, blocked her from view, and sent a chilling glance at the navvy. "My wife doesn't feel like smiling. Is there something you'd like to say to me?"
The catcalls faded, and the navvy met his gaze, taking his measure... deciding to back down. "Only that you're the luckiest bastard alive," the navvy said cheekily. The crowd broke up with a mixture of chuckles and guffaws.
"On your way now, lads," the harbormaster said, briskly dispersing the gathering. "Time to go about your business."
As Tom turned to Cassandra, he was relieved to see that she didn't seem upset. "Are you all right?" he asked.
She nodded immediately. "No harm done."
The officer looked sheepish. "I thought they would tire of their sport if we ignored them long enough."
"Ignoring doesn't work," Tom said curtly. "It's the same as permission. Next time, pick the ringleader and go for him."
"He was twice my size," the officer protested.
Tom shot him an exasperated glance. "The world expects a man to have a backbone. Especially when a woman is being harassed.”
― Lisa Kleypas, Chasing Cassandra

“The architect of the walls around me is the fear within me. And if I have foolishly granted this architect full license to build whatever it pleases in whatever manner it pleases, I will find that I have confused safety with imprisonment.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

“a thought she'd once had about Lamb was that when they'd pulled the Wall down he'd built himself another, and had been living behind it ever since”
― Mick Herron, Real Tigers

“When you are constantly reacting to having been wronged (or perhaps to what you may regard as a wrong); when you are always giving in by practically living to defend, retaliating one time after another, again and again, you then spend double that time trying to prove the whole story: because to third parties, you will frequently appear to be on the attack, and therefore potentially receiving attacks once more - henceforth an unending pattern of misunderstood retaliations.”
― Criss Jami

“Defense mechanisms protect us. Fortresses isolate us. And far too often we begin with the former and end up constructing the latter.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

“Circumstances can manufacture the materials, but it’s my attitude that builds the wall.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

“When Jonas came to the phone I asked him if he remembered that we used to kiss. "I remember," he said tersely. "Is that why you called?”
― Helen Oyeyemi, Mr. Fox

“The next time that you're caught telling lies,
Don't get defensive-just apologize”
― Charmaine J Forde

“You're a pig.'

'Oh, most definitely. But look at you- you read that whole sentence, licked me out of your mind, and shielded. Excellent work.'

'Don't condescend to me.'

'I'm not. You're reading at a level much higher than I anticipated.'

The burning returned to my cheeks. 'But mostly illiterate.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“You can all relax. I do not need to see a therapist. I most certainly do not need to see some woo-woo yoga self-help life-coach guru person who manufactures incense in the middle of Palo Alto and travels around the world lecturing people about how to breathe."
The attention of the room shifted to him like a spotlight. Every brow rose. The silence was so intense he could hear himself breathing. Not in the correct way, no doubt, but who needed training on how to breathe? What kind of scam was that?
"I only know those things about her because I've heard Ashna mention them so many times." Actually, he knew because he'd read about India in the Daily Post last month. It was his job to read the local papers.
Ashna frowned at him. She had never mentioned India around him until now and her narrowed eyes told him exactly how well she knew this. But she kept her mouth shut. Which meant Yash was in more trouble than if she'd said something.
"Then you'll agree that I know what I'm talking about. It won't hurt to meet her once," Ashna said. Was that a threat in her eyes?”
― Sonali Dev, Incense and Sensibility

“You must be able to go from a defensive to an offensive mindset.”
― Darren Levine, Complete Krav Maga: The Ultimate Guide to Over 230 Self-Defense and Combative Techniques

“You're a pig.'

'Oh, most definitely. But look at you- you read that whole sentence, kicked me out of your mind, and shielded. Excellent work.'

'Don't condescend to me.'

'I'm not. You're reading at a level much higher than I anticipated.'

The burning returned to my cheeks. 'But mostly illiterate.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“Sometimes the evidence of everything that I wish were not evidence points me to all of the things that I’ve spent my life attempting to build evidence against.”
― Craig D. Lounsbrough

“When are you going to talk about how you wrote a letter to Tamlin, telling him you've left for good?'

The question hit me so viciously that I sniped, 'How about when you talk about how you tease and taunt Mor to hide whatever it is you feel for her?' Because I had no doubt that he was well aware of the role he played in their little tangled web.
...
Cassian let out a startled, rough laugh. 'Old news.'

'I have a feeling that's what she probably says about you.'
...
But the question he'd asked swarmed in my skull. You've left for good, you've left for good, you've left for good.

I had- I'd meant it. But without knowing what he thought, if he'd even care that much... No, I knew he'd care. He'd probably trashed the manor in his rage.

If my mere mention of him suffocating me had caused him to destroy his study, then this... I had been frightened by those fits of pure rage, cowed by them. And it had been love- I had loved him so deeply, so greatly, but...”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“I would have fired at him,' I breathed, 'if he had tried to hurt you.'

I hadn't even admitted that to myself.

His eyes flickered. 'I know.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Mist and Fury

“Harrison said, "If you see anything, notice anything, you should call us."
It was hard to maintain the innocent expression in the face of this blundering command. "You mean, Mr. Harrison, at this agency that doesn't yet exist?"
Harrison's mouth opened, but Woods spoke before his partner could. "I left a card on the table, with the number."
I snapped, "Long distance, no doubt.”
― Louisa Morgan, The Witch's Kind

“Do you understand what it means when you imply you don't trust us to help you? To respect your wishes if you want to do something alone? When you lie to us?'

'You want to talk about lying?' I didn't even know what came out of my mouth. I wished I'd killed Ianthe myself, if only to get rid of the rage that writhed along my bones. 'How about the fact that you lie to yourself and all of us every single day?'

She went still, but didn't loosen her hold on my arm. 'You don't know what you're talking about.'

'Why haven't you ever made a move for Azriel, Mor? Why did you invite Helion to your bed? You clearly found no pleasure in it- I saw the way you looked the next day. So before you accuse me of being a liar, I'd suggest you look long and hard at yourself-'

'That's enough.'

'Is it? Don't like someone pushing you about it? About your choices? Well, neither do I.'

Mor dropped my arm. 'Get out.'

'Fine.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Wings and Ruin

“Why so many questions tonight?'

'Because we're talking like normal people, and I want to know. About all of it.'

Nesta rose from the table, aiming for the door. 'What does it matter to you?'

'Let's not retread old territory, Nes.'

She threw over a shoulder, 'I hadn't realised we'd moved beyond it.'

'Bullshit.'

'Here's the part where you remind me everyone hates me, and I leave.'

Cassian shot from his seat, blocking her path to the door in three strides. She'd forgotten how fast he was, how graceful despite his size. He glowered down at her. 'It never mattered to me whether you took half the Cauldron's power or a drop. It still doesn't matter.'

'Why?' Nesta couldn't stop herself from asking. 'Why do you even bother?'

His features turned stark. 'Why did you stay at my side when we went up against the King of Hybern during that last battle?'

As if that were an answer. She couldn't bear it, this talk, the expression on his face. 'Because I was a stupid fool.' She shoved past him.

'What is it you're afraid of?' he asked, following her into the hall.

She drew up short. 'I'm not afraid of anything.'

'Liar.'

Nesta turned slowly. Let him see every bit of anger rippling through her.

Cassian's eyes gleamed in savage satisfaction.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A ​Court of Silver Flames

“What has put you in such a foul mood?' Castor asked. 'Were you watching Evangeline again?'

'I'm not here because of her,' Jacks snapped.

'Well, you're certainly snippy about her.'

Jacks glared. 'And you're in a disturbingly good mood for someone who just slaughtered an entire family.”
― Stephanie Garber, A Curse for True Love