Support for Indie Authors discussion

I thought this might be a fun topic. Let's all try to think of at least one thing readers will think of us based on our stories that is absolutely not true.

I suspect that many readers will think I'm a drug addict, as often as I mention drugs in my stories. I have never done an illegal drug in my life (no, not even pot - although it is tempting). I also rarely drink anymore, but I seem to write about people drinking a lot.

That I have an amputation fetish. Seriously, I didn't plan to hack limbs off of all of my main characters, it just kind of happened.

I gave a character an addiction to frotteurism once but took it out because I was embarrassed it might be seen as auto-biographical. Not. Happy to make them murderers mind. Funny how the mind works.

That I'm a conspiracy theorist addict. I love a good conspiracy -- doesn't mean I believe them to be true.

People might think I'm a sadist and that I like when people suffer while on the contrary, I can't stand it. When I watch TV shows and movies with the hubby, I disappear during those scenes. Dishes, coffee time, bathroom break among other things are all good reasons not to watch it. In theaters, I close my eyes and if I catch part of it, I cry, so go figure.

G.G. wrote: "People might think I'm a sadist and that I like when people suffer while on the contrary, I can't stand it."

Ha ha! Good one. We have to be sadists, or at least act like one, in order to put out a good story. This novel I'm working on - yow. What I've put this one little kid through so far, and it's only going to get worse. Not big on happy endings, but I think I am going to have to ensure this kid has a happy ending.

I get one question repeatedly about my novel, In Spirit & Truth, (told in first person).

"How much of this is true?"

I tell them, "Everything but the central story line."

Actually, I'm pleased when they can't find the line between fact and fiction. My own very astute sister once questioned my protagonist's description of his sister. I finally had to say, "You do realize that she isn't you, right?"

Spoiler Alert for anyone who took advantage of today's free offer of The Protest!

I suspect people will judge me for having an affair with a minister - and then having twins as a result.

My story is a fictional memoir (a legitimate genre that Hemingway's True at First Light belongs to), so you can see why they might think my story is true. The first quarter of the book is completely fictional (to keep me out of court), because it was necessary to construct a fictional parallel to the real story so the antagonist had a way to legally get his hands on the kids. Oh, and my two daughters were born two years apart, unlike the twins in my story.

Dianne wrote: "Oh, and my two daughters were born two years apart, unlike the twins in my story."

So in real life you had two affairs with a minister?
;)
I kid, I kid!

Lets see. Misogynist, weirdo, creep, sadist, sick, transgender, homosexual, pervert, nihilist, disturbed, mentally deficient, and cruel.

I expect to be called all of that and more at some point or another. And some of them may or may not be true. :D

Christina wrote: "That I have an amputation fetish. Seriously, I didn't plan to hack limbs off of all of my main characters, it just kind of happened."


I LOLed at this. Intrigued...but kinda grossed out.

It's not as bad as it sounds, I swear! I mean, George Lucas hacks off more arms in the Star Wars movies than I care to count and those are loved by children. :)

Gee that's a hot stump you got there mister...

I used to work in an adult book store, and I have a really weird inappropriate story about that.

My stepmother called me 'Satan's daughter' years ago because of my story...and that was when it was still rated PG-13.

Um...but seriously...Stockholm Syndrome will be mentioned, I'm sure.

Charles wrote: "Gee that's a hot stump you got there mister...

I used to work in an adult book store, and I have a really weird inappropriate story about that."

You can't tease us like that.

But I'm soooooo good at it. :D

Ann wrote: "That I'm a conspiracy theorist addict. I love a good conspiracy -- doesn't mean I believe them to be true."

Hence the appeal of the X-Files. I had a weird thought today about a conspiracy. I'm going to toy with it a while and see if a story comes from it.

Christina wrote: "That I have an amputation fetish. Seriously, I didn't plan to hack limbs off of all of my main characters, it just kind of happened."

Ok, now you're scaring me. I've read two of your books and I don't recall amputations. (Not that what they got was better but still. :P ) Does that mean I have a 100% chance that the protagonist will lose a limb in my next read? Talk about a huge spoiler! ;)

Christina wrote: "Dianne wrote: "Oh, and my two daughters were born two years apart, unlike the twins in my story."

So in real life you had two affairs with a minister?
;)
I kid, I kid!"

Ha ha ha ha! That's why we're writers - such great imaginations!

Christina wrote: "That I have an amputation fetish."

That's part of what people might think about me if they read "Pretty Eyes".

That's why I'm waiting until the 2nd book to cut someone's arm off.

Dwayne wrote: "Ha ha! Good one. We have to be sadists, or at least act like one, in order to put out a good story. This novel I'm working on - yow. What I've put this one little kid through so far, and it's only going to get worse. Not big on happy endings, but I think I am going to have to ensure this kid has a happy ending..."

True, if we wouldn't be at least a little, the stories would all be the same. :P

Poor kid! I hope you're not as mean as Terry Goodkind. I'll never forget the part where he has his antagonist pour melted iron into the mouth of a kid.
Please please please, give that kid, if not a happy ending for him, at least a not happy ending for the meanies who are doing this to him. And by meanies I don't mean you! :P

That leads me that question again: What Readers Think Vs. The Truth. I always think that Terry Goodkind is a sadistic SOB for what his characters go through sometimes, but I'm pretty sure he's not in real life (or is he?).

G.G. wrote: "Ok, now you're scaring me."

You read one of them. It was in the first book you reviewed. ;)

Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing -- gotta get out of here. I'm starting to get squeamish.

Christina wrote: "G.G. wrote: "Ok, now you're scaring me."

You read one of them. It was in the first book you reviewed. ;)"

Oh! Then it's really not as bad as it sounds. Or maybe I'm really a sadist since I loved that book. lol

Don't read spoilers if you haven't read "Kind of like life" by Christina.

(view spoiler)[ I remember the kid couldn't walk. He didn't feel his limbs, but I don't recall any of them losing one. Yet, I also remember being anxious towards the end. I was worried it wouldn't end too well. I kept saying, "No!No!No! Christina, don't do this to me!" Maybe I missed something there? It wouldn't surprise me, honestly. Since reading Goodkind, I tend to blackout things when they are too disturbing. :/ (hide spoiler)]

That I'm a cynical, callous sociopath with very little regard for other people.

....Wait. Well, they've at least got the cynical part right ;)

Joke: The masochist pleaded,'hit me, please.'

'No,' said the sadist as he laughed with glee and rolled on the floor, unable to contain his joy.

Sorry to the group. I just couldn't help but add a bit of humor to dark conversation. k

Because I write murder mysteties i get asked if im planning on killing anyone or if i know exactly how i would kill someone. i will be honest i dont think about killing anyone but my already dead characters lol.

People will probably think that I enjoy breaking people's hands. It's not my fault that it's happened to my main characters in two different stories, is it? They just shouldn't have been so stupid as to put themselves in those situations.

I write romance so my readers kind of assume I am speaking from experience in my sex scenes. Um, no. I have not ever nor will ever be an exhibitionist. And also, I don't know a human on this planet that can fly and my understanding is that zero-g sex is rather difficult.

That I have an unhealthy obsession with unicorns. Seriously, there's one in every book so far. Secretly I think they're the least majestic of the majestic creatures.... I was going to create my own creature for the Rainbow Island in Breath Of The Titans, but my wife made me change it to a unicorn.

G.G. wrote: "Poor kid! I hope you're not as mean as Terry Goodkind. I'll never forget the part where he has his antagonist pour melted iron into the mouth of a kid.
Please please please, give that kid, if not a happy ending for him, at least a not happy ending for the meanies who are doing this to him. And by meanies I don't mean you! :P"

No, nothing quite that bad. I have to keep him alive and healthy enough to keep working the fields. Someone tried drowning him is all. But, I found out today I tortured him worse than that. There's one scene in which he's chowing down on Twinkie after Twinkie. I'm guessing he had about twenty. It got me hungry for Twinkies, so I bought some today. Two was enough sweet to last me a day. I can't imagine how horrible twenty would be! I think I'd rather nearly drown.

Twenty Twinkies? Oh my! One would be enough to kill me. I'm not a fan of marshmallow, sticky, too-sweet imitation of icing. :P

No but seriously...I don't think that him eating around twenty made you hungry for some. I'd say you were secretly hungry for some and that's why your poor protagonist ended up eating so many. It's a good thing you satisfied your cravings for those 'things' or else the poor boy might still be eating them. ;)

Jen wrote: "I write romance so my readers kind of assume I am speaking from experience in my sex scenes. Um, no. I have not ever nor will ever be an exhibitionist. And also, I don't know a human on this planet..."

That's always the risk with romance and sex scenes. Truth be told, I'm always wondering about E.L. James. :P

Wait a minute...do you mean...your characters are doing it in zero-gravity environment? You're making me curious now. ;)

Riley wrote: "That I have an unhealthy obsession with unicorns. Seriously, there's one in every book so far. Secretly I think they're the least majestic of the majestic creatures.... I was going to create my own..."

What's unhealthy about unicorns? I loved them! Them and the Pegasus. I love those too! What can I say, I have an insane love for everything horses. :)

When I use some of the same words in a different context to add flavor to the work and they think I'm being atrociously repetitive or lack experience in word usage. Or think it's my first time at writing, (which its not 24 years experience). Or when I'm talking about real blood, they think it's metaphorical blood I'm talking about, because I use metaphors. Or when I'm being metaphorical they think I'm being literal. Or they think I'm writing fiction instead of nonfiction. One reader actually put my nonfiction book as fiction, when in the blurb it clearly states it's nonfiction. Or they think all I write is nonfiction. Not. But, there is more than one kind of metaphor I use. Geez, I guess people have never heard of a literal metaphor. Look it up, it exists. Or they think all I write is poetry and they give pitiful comments in the reviews on my book, as if I'll never have a chance as an author or in the writing/publish world because all I write is poetry. News flash people, I write all genres, sub genres and mixed genres. Give me a chance to finish my next work, before assuming, (which is a novel by the way).

Alex wrote: "People will probably think that I enjoy breaking people's hands. It's not my fault that it's happened to my main characters in two different stories, is it? They just shouldn't have been so stupid ..."

Have you ever broken your hand? There's so many bones in these. Ok, it's not technically the hands, but my hubby got his fingers squashed. I didn't know him at the time but he said when they slowly regained their form, it hurt like hell and he walked with his hand up in the air for over three months. (The hand higher than the heart slows the blood circulation a bit and help minimize the pain).

So all that to say, you're mean to your characters! :p

Readers will likely assume I have a crippling phobia of mannequins and old-fashioned toys as well as a deep love of competitive sports.

Fun topic :)

G.G. wrote: "Riley wrote: "That I have an unhealthy obsession with unicorns. Seriously, there's one in every book so far. Secretly I think they're the least majestic of the majestic creatures.... I was going to..."

Nothing wrong with it, but if people pay attention and read all my stories, they'll see the unicorns in all of them and think, "Hmm....he must love unicorns." When in fact, I think of them as the twisted devil spawn of a horse and a narwhal. Still, it is an interesting image! Oh, and I'll just leave this right here .

Riley wrote: "G.G. wrote: "Riley wrote: "That I have an unhealthy obsession with unicorns. Seriously, there's one in every book so far. Secretly I think they're the least majestic of the majestic creatures.... I..."

ROFL! yeah, now i'll be stuck with that image in my head. But hey, that means you DON'T like unicorns. You're mean! And I thought you were a nice guy! :>

G.G. wrote: "Riley wrote: "G.G. wrote: "Riley wrote: "That I have an unhealthy obsession with unicorns. Seriously, there's one in every book so far. Secretly I think they're the least majestic of the majestic c..."

I am a nice guy...but I grew up in the 80's and my sister used to watch Rainbow Brite. I'm telling you, after a few years of watching that show ANYONE would feel that unicorns were devil spawn.

but mlp fim :( :( :(

Charles wrote: "but mlp fim :( :( :("

This also proves my point. When a show full of child like ponies is more popular with adult men than with it's intended audience....there's something wrong.

Because 'murica.

Oh my, you went there, didn't you?

I have a dog who is very old and makes a weird clucking noise that my husband and I call 'clopping.' I was informed that word has an utterly different meaning in the bronie world and if you don't know what it means, for goodness sake, DO NOT LOOK IT UP!!!

G.G. wrote: "Alex wrote: "People will probably think that I enjoy breaking people's hands. It's not my fault that it's happened to my main characters in two different stories, is it? They just shouldn't have be..."

I actually only ever dropped a heavy sofa on my foot while taking it down the stairs in an attempt to move house on my own. I've actually never broken a bone in my life, very fortunate. I don't think I'd be able to handle the pain, judging from the way I carry on when I stub a toe or jam my fingernail in a door.

But I'm nice to some of my characters. Or at least, not all that mean.

Christina wrote: "Oh my, you went there, didn't you?

I have a dog who is very old and makes a weird clucking noise that my husband and I call 'clopping.' I was informed that word has an utterly different meaning i..."

Classy.

Christina wrote: "I was informed that word has an utterly different meaning in the bronie world and if you don't know what it means, for goodness sake, DO NOT LOOK IT UP!!! "

I looked it up. I was feeling lost by this conversation. I looked up "bronie", "clopping", "'Murica"... I want to go back to being lost.

V.M. wrote: "Oh Dwayne... he was a good soul. A kind and fortunate man.

Then, like the original Adam, he sought knowledge and paid the ultimate price with his... googling.

Let us pray his wits return. Let us..."

Don't listen to him Dwayne, don't leave the Darkside, we have cookies and pie!

That I enjoy the pain and suffering of others. Which, of course, I don't. I'm a sucker for characters comforting other characters after a major ordeal, which means having to put those characters through much pain and suffering.

I also sometimes worry, and I mean legitimately worry, that people will assume that I had terrible parents because I often have characters who were, or are, being abused in some way. My life was awesome, I swear! Blame Charles Dickens, he was a bad influence on me.