The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs Quotes

“You can't worry about what other people think you should do. The only way you'll ever be happy or make a real difference is by pursuing the things that motivate you and make you excited to be alive. Life is too short to waste years of it being miserable or asking 'What if?”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“If this is the start of a better day, I haven't bought nearly enough vodka.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Who hasn't made a few bad decisions under the spell of sugar and alcohol?”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Baking was my way of restoring order in a world driven by chaos.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Whenever a friend succeeds, something in me dies.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Baking and cooking bring me inner peace, like a tasty version of yoga, without all the awkward stretching and sweating. When my life spins out of control, when I can't make sense of what's going on in the world, I head straight to the kitchen and turn on my oven, and with the press of a button, I switch one part of my brain off and another on. The rules of the kitchen are straightforward, and when I'm there I don't have to think about my problems. I don't need to think about anything but cups and ounces, temperatures and cooking times.
When I was a freshman at Cornell, I heard a plane had flown into the World Trade Center while sitting in my Introduction to American History lecture. My friends and I ran back to our dorm rooms and spent the next few hours glued to the television. I kept my TV on all day, but after talking to my parents and watching three hours of the coverage, I headed straight to the communal kitchen and baked a triple batch of brownies, which I then distributed to everyone on my floor. Some of my friends thought I was crazy ("Who bakes brownies when the country is under attack?"), but it was the only thing I could do to keep from having a panic attack or bursting into tears. I couldn't control what was happening to our country, but I could control what was happening in that kitchen. Baking was my way of restoring order in a world driven by chaos, and it still is.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Once I've coated the parsnips in a honey-saffron glaze, Rachel helps me plate them alongside the brisket, stuffed cabbage, and sweet potato tzimmes, and we carry the plates out to the dining room together.
"Let me explain a little about tonight's dinner," I say, addressing the softly lit faces around the table, which is covered with flickering votives and tapered candles. I launch into a description of the Jewish New Year and the symbolism behind all of the food: how the honey represents the hope of a sweet new year, how the challah is round instead of braided to represent the circle of life, how my grandmother used to make stuffed cabbage on every possible occasion because it reminded her of her Hungarian mother. I tell them lots things- about food, about my bubbe, about me- and to my surprise, they actually pay attention. They hang on my every word and ask intelligent questions and make thought-provoking points of their own. And I realize, hey, these are people who get it, people who love to eat and talk about food and culture as much as I do. Most of them aren't Jewish, but that doesn't matter. Every family has its traditions. Every family has a story to share. That's the point of this dinner- to swap stories and histories and see how food can bring people together.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“When we first started dating, my talent in the kitchen was a turn-on. The prospect of me in the kitchen, wearing a skimpy apron and holding a whisk in my hand- he thought that was sexy. And, as someone with little insight into how to work her own sex appeal, I pounced on the opportunity to make him want and need me.
I spent four days preparing my first home-cooked meal for him, a dinner of wilted escarole salad with hot bacon dressing, osso bucco with risotto Milanese and gremolata, and a white-chocolate toasted-almond semifreddo for dessert. At the time, I lived with three other people in a Columbia Heights town house, so I told all of my housemates to make themselves scarce that Saturday night. When Adam showed up at my door, as the rich smell of braised veal shanks wafted through the house, I greeted him holding a platter of prosciutto-wrapped figs, wearing nothing but a slinky red apron. He grabbed me by the waist and pushed me into the kitchen, slowly untying the apron strings resting on my rounded hips, and moments later we were making love on the tiled kitchen floor. Admittedly, I worried the whole time about when I should start the risotto and whether he'd even want osso bucco once we were finished, but it was the first time I'd seduced someone like that, and it was lovely.
Adam raved about that meal- the rich osso bucco, the zesty gremolata, the sweet-and-salty semifreddo- and that's when I knew cooking was my love language, my way of expressing passion and desire and overcoming all of my insecurities. I learned that I may not be comfortable strutting through a room in a tight-fitting dress, but I can cook one hell of a brisket, and I can do it in the comfort of my own home, wearing an apron and nothing else.
Adam loved my food, and he loved watching me work in the kitchen even more, the way my cheeks would flush from the heat of the stove and my hair would twist into delicate red curls along my hairline. As the weeks went by, I continued to seduce him with pork ragu and roasted chicken, creamed spinach and carrot sformato, cannolis and brownies and chocolate-hazelnut cake.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Slushy spiked lemonade/beer
Boiled peanuts/homemade pickles/kettle corn
Mini corn dogs with chili ketchup, curried mustard,
and cheese sauce
Turkey leg confit
Deep-fried Brussels sprouts
Poker-chip potatoes
Ginger-pear sno-cones and cotton candy
Pumpkin funnel cake

"What the hell are poker-chip potatoes?"
"I'm going to slice the potatoes paper thin- like poker chips or carnival tokens- and line them up in a baking dish, accordion-style, with thyme, shallots, and garlic, and bake them until they're crispy around the edges but tender in the middle.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Growing up outside of Philadelphia, I never wanted for diner food, whether it was from Bob's Diner in Roxborough or the Trolley Car Diner in Mount Airy. The food wasn't anything special- eggs and toast, meat loaf and gravy, the omnipresent glass case of pies- but I always found the food comforting and satisfying, served as it was in those old-fashioned, prefabricated stainless steel trolley cars. Whenever we would visit my mom's parents in Canterbury, New Jersey, we'd stop at the Claremont Diner in East Windsor on the way home, and I'd order a fat, fluffy slice of coconut cream pie, which I'd nibble on the whole car ride back to Philly.
I'm not sure why I've always found diner food so comforting. Maybe it's the abundance of grease or the utter lack of pretense. Diner food is basic, stick-to-your-ribs fare- carbs, eggs, and meat, all cooked up in plenty of hot fat- served up in an environment dripping with kitsch and nostalgia. Where else are a jug of syrup and a bottomless cup of coffee de rigueur? The point of diner cuisine isn't to astound or impress; it's to fill you up cheaply with basic, down-home food.
My menu, however, should astound and impress, which is why I've decided to take up some of the diner foods I remember from my youth and put my own twist on them. So far, this is what I've come up with:

Sloe gin fizz cocktails/chocolate egg creams
Grilled cheese squares: grappa-soaked grapes and Taleggio/
Asian pears and smoked Gouda
"Eggs, Bacon, and Toast": crostini topped with wilted spinach,
pancetta, poached egg, and chive pesto
Smoky meat loaf with slow-roasted onions and prune
ketchup
Whipped celery root puree
Braised green beans with fire-roasted tomatoes
Mini root beer floats
Triple coconut cream pie”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“I tell them about Philadelphia's Italian neighborhoods and how they gave rise to the famous cheesesteak and lesser-known roast pork sandwich, and about the Pennsylvania Dutch and how they introduced the pretzel to North America. I talk about water ice and The Commissary, Tastykakes, and South Philly, the ongoing cheesesteak rivalry between Pat's and Geno's and my personal preference for Delassandro's Steaks over either one. One diner originally from Chicago jumps in with his own stories about Lou Malnati's pizza and Chicago-style hot dogs, and another from New Haven talks about white clam pizza at Pepe's and burgers at Louis' Lunch.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Mounds of toasted coconut cling to the side of the cake, held in place by the fluffy cream cheese frosting. Beneath the frosting lies a moist and fragrant cake bursting with carrots and cinnamon and golden raisins, stuffed with a gooey caramelized pecan filling. It is, in my eyes, a dessert approximating perfection.
"A thing of beauty," Rachel says, twirling the cake stand by its base.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“I first tried a cheesesteak spring roll ten years ago at my cousin's wedding at the Four Seasons in Philadelphia, and though I wasn't as unconvinced as Shauna, I had my doubts. That Philadelphians could bastardize a menu item didn't surprise me- this is, after all, the city that invented The Schmitter, a sandwich made of sliced beef, cheese, grilled salami, more cheese, tomatoes, fried onions, more cheese, and some sort of Thousand Island sauce- but the fact that the Four Seasons found it worthy of their fancy-pants menu intrigued me.
One bite and I knew I'd struck gold. The cheesy meat and onion filling oozed out of the crisp, fried wonton wrapper, enhancing the celebrated cheesesteak flavor with a sophisticated crunch. This weekend, I'm doing a similar riff, but instead of spring rolls, I'm using arancini, the Sicilian fried risotto balls that are usually stuffed with mozzarella and meat ragu. Instead, I will stuff mine with sautéed chopped beef, provolone, and fried onions and mushrooms. The crispy, saffron-scented rice balls will ooze with unctuous cheesesteak flavor, and I will secure my place among the culinary legends.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Red and white wine (TBD)
Victory Brewing Company Prima Pilsner
Soft pretzel bread/spicy mustard sauce
Cheesesteak arancini/homemade marinara sauce
Deconstructed pork sandwich: braised pork belly, sautéed broccoli rabe, provolone bread pudding
Lemon water ice
Commissary carrot cake


I'm particularly proud of my riff on the pork sandwich, one of Philadelphia's lesser-known specialties. Everyone presupposes the cheesesteak is Philadelphia's best sandwich, when, in fact, my favorite has always been the roast pork. Juicy, garlicky slices of pork are layered with broccoli rabe and sharp provolone on a fresh roll, the rich juices soaking into the soft bread while the crunchy crust acts like a torpedo shell, keeping everything inside. The flavors explode in your mouth in each bite: the bitter broccoli rabe, the assertive cheese, the combination of garlic and spices and tender pork.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Kramer's sits on Connecticut Avenue just north of Dupont Circle and is a Washington institution of sorts, functioning as a bookstore, restaurant, and bar all in one. The front always swarms with people perusing the book displays, which overflow with stacks of paperbacks and hardbacks, everything from political memoirs to the juiciest works of fiction.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Okay, first there are the angels on horseback and devils on horseback."
Blake shakes his head. "Remind me what those are?"
"An English thing. Angels on horseback are baked oysters wrapped in bacon. Devils are the same thing with dates instead of oysters."
Blake nods. "Got it. What else?"
"I'm going to slow-cook the barbecued ribs and serve them as 'skeleton ribs,' and I'll serve up the calamari tentacles as 'deep-fried spiders.' Then I'll roast the shrimp and arrange them in glasses of ice to look like claws or fingers, which people can dip into a 'Bloody Mary' cocktail sauce. And I'll scatter platters of deviled eggs around the living and dining rooms."
"Think that'll be enough food?"
"Definitely, I'll throw some cheese and crudités into the mix, too. Oh, and dessert- spiced devil's food cupcakes and blood orange sorbet.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Last night I baked the Jewish apple cakes, and each one came out moist and fragrant and dense, bursting with apples I caramelized with Calvados and a touch of rosemary and then folded into a vanilla-and-cinnamon-scented cake. We braised the brisket in a tomato sauce so rich and garlicky I can still smell it on my fingers, and the honey ice cream came out silky smooth and tastes like a spoonful of creamy honey, with crunchy chunks of honeycomb toffee.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Red and white wine/Manischewitz cocktails
Apple cider challah/homemade date honey
Potato and apple tart with horseradish cream
Old-Fashioned braised brisket with tomatoes and paprika
Tzimmes duo: Honeyed parsnips with currants and saffron,
sweet potatoes with dried pears and prunes
Stuffed cabbage
Mini Jewish apple cakes with honeycomb ice cream

"What's the difference between 'Jewish apple cake' and regular apple cake?" Rachel asks.
I shrug. "Not sure. Maybe the fact that it's made with oil instead of butter? I think it's a regional thing.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Hey!" she says. "Sorry I'm late."
I look at my watch. "It's nine-forty-five. We said nine."
Her cheeks turn pink. "I know. I'm sorry. I overslept."
"With the muscular Asian dude?"
The pink in her cheeks deepens to a dark red. "His name is Jackson."
"Ah, yes, another suitor you can pump and dump."
"Hey!" Her indignation yields to her usual feistiness. "Listen to you- 'pump and dump.' You do realize that's a stock-trading expression. It has nothing to do with dating."
"It does now.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“A few years back, the New York Times called Shauna's pork the "finest pork in America," and she has never let anyone forget it. Admittedly, her pork is fantastic- rich and flavorful, with the perfect amount of fat. Most of the charcuterie shops in town buy her meat and turn it into pâté and prosciutto and pancetta- all of which, Shauna will remind you, are so good because they start with the "finest pork in America.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Ambling through the market, I spot baskets of purple and orange cauliflower, bundles of Swiss chard and collard greens, and crates of Honeycrisp apples and Italian prune plums. The tables at the market always feel a little schizophrenic this time of year, as piles of fat summer tomatoes rub shoulders with apples and knobby winter squash. Just as the late-summer fruits and vegetables are celebrating their last hurrah, the autumn harvest makes its timid debut, competing for the attention of market-goers who may have tired of the surfeit of corn on the cob and tomato salad, but who may not be ready to commit to six months of gourds.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“My bubbe's holiday dinners were legendary, the tables overflowing with platters of brisket and tzimmes, stuffed cabbage and potato knishes, blintzes and kugel and fat loaves of challah. Ever since she died eight years ago, our holiday celebrations have splintered into quiet, nuclear affairs, and this year, with my parents in London, we aren't even getting together. But I miss her cooking, the way her tender brisket melted on the tongue, the way her stuffed cabbage hugged the fragrant beef filling tightly and always tasted both a little sweet and a little sour.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“I'm the same person you asked to move in with you. The same person you fell in love with. I'm your little firecracker, Adam."
"More like a bomb," he mutters.
"You want a bomb? I'll give you a bomb." I grab his water glass from across the counter and throw the water in his face. "Boom, motherfucker!”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“The chicken's great," says Grace on the TV screen as she gnaws on a chicken bone, much to Will's disgust. I've always felt a kinship with Grace Adler's character. Maybe it's the red hair or the fact that she's Jewish, or the way in one episode she pretended to be an alcoholic so that she could get free Krispy Kreme doughnuts and hot cocoa at AA meetings. I can relate to all of those things. There's very little I wouldn't do for a free Krispy Kreme doughnut.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“I look forward to Millie's party as much as I look forward to a Pap smear or tooth extraction. Which is to say, not at all.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“Two cakes? Are you trying to make us all obese?"
"Yes, Millie. That's why I bake for the office. To make you all obese."
Millie raises an eyebrow. "I don't see why you couldn't bring in something healthy every once in a while."
Adam once told me that when Millie was thirteen, her mom sent her to fat camp, and from what I can tell, she has lived in mortal fear of eggs and butter ever since. I am about to remind Millie that the carrot cake does contain vegetables, and therefore possess a modicum of nutrition one could rationalize into healthfulness,”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“When we first started dating, he introduced me to all his friends and colleagues as his little firecracker. That's what he started calling me after our third date, when he brought me to a Redskins party at his friend Eric's place. Eric had decided to make buffalo chili, but, in what became clear to both me and everyone else at the party, he had no idea what he was doing. Two hours into the party, after all of us had blown through the bags of tortilla chips and pretzels, Eric was still chopping red peppers. Determined not to let a room of fifteen people go hungry, I rolled up my sleeves, marched into the kitchen, and grabbed my knife. "Okay, Bobby Flay," I said as I wielded my knife. "Time to get this show on the road." I chopped and minced and crushed at rapid-fire speed, and in no time, dinner was served. "Get a load of this firecracker," Eric said as he watched me work my magic. After that, the name sort of stuck.
For a while, the nickname seemed like a good thing. Every time I would rail against fad diets or champion the importance of sustainable agriculture or lament the lack of food options in inner cities, Adam would laugh and say, "That's my little firecracker." He made me feel special, as if I were a vital part of his life. His parents were the only people from whom he seemed to hide me, and though it bothered me a little, I understood. I was the anti-Sandy. That's what made me attractive. But he hasn't called me his little firecracker in what feels like months now, and lately I feel as if he's hiding me from everyone. When did this little firecracker become a grenade?”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“During a lull in Adam's act, Juanita appears with my carrot cake, an eight-inch tower of spiced cake, caramelized pecan filling, cream cheese frosting, and toasted coconut. Miraculously, none of the frosting stuck to the foil- a small triumph. Juanita starts cutting into the cake, but I shoo her away and volunteer to serve the cake myself. If Adam wants to cut me out of the conversation, fine, but no one will cut me out of my culinary accolades.
I hand a fat slice to Sandy, whose eyes widen at the thick swirls of frosting and gobs of buttery pecan goo.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs

“I'd love to cook," she says, "but who has the time? I can't afford to spend two days baking a cake."
The implication, of course, is that only unimportant people have that kind of time. Unimportant people like me. I wait for Adam to jump in and save me, but instead he shoves a forkful of lamb into his mouth and feigns deep interest in the contents of his dinner plate. For someone with Adam's political ambitions and penchant for friendly debate, I'm always amazed at the lengths he goes to avoid confrontation with his parents.
"I have a full-time job," I say, offering Sandy a labored smile, "and somehow I manage."
Sandy delicately places her fork on the table and interlaces her fingers. "I beg your pardon?"
My cheeks flush, and all the champagne and wine rush to my head at once. "All I'm saying is... we make time for the things we actually want to do. That's all."
Sandy purses her lips and sweeps her hair away from her face with the back of her hand. "Hannah, dear, I am very busy. I am on the board of three charities and am hosting two galas this year. It's not a matter of wanting to cook. I simply have more important things to do."
For a woman so different from my own mother- the frosted, well-groomed socialite to my mother's mousy, rumpled academic- she and my mother share a remarkably similar view of the role of cooking in a modern woman's life. For them, cooking is an irrelevant hobby, an amusement for women who lack the brains for more high-powered pursuits or the money to pay someone to perform such a humdrum chore. Sandy Prescott and my mother would agree on very little, but as women who have been liberated from the perfunctory task of cooking a nightly dinner, they would see eye to eye on my intense interest in the culinary arts.
Were I a stronger person, someone more in control of her faculties who has not drunk multiple glasses of champagne, I would probably let Sandy's remark go without commenting any further. But I cannot be that person. At least not tonight. Not when Sandy is suggesting, as it seems everyone does, that cooking isn't a priority worthy of a serious person's time.
"You would make the time if you wanted to," I say. "But obviously you don't.”
― Dana Bate, The Girls' Guide to Love and Supper Clubs