Teen's Mom: 'We Just Want To Make Sure Her Name Lives On’

PATCHOGUE, NY — Ellyana DeLaTorre was an empathetic person who soaked up others' emotions like a sponge, helping friends through some very difficult times and often carrying the burden of their troubles in silence, as she struggled with her own mental health, her mother recalled.

After her sudden death recently, the 18-year-old's family wanted her legacy of caring and compassion to continue, so they set out to raise funds for mental health awareness in her name because they believe it's a topic that so many people do not know enough about.

"Even though that she dealt with all of this, she was never ashamed of it," her mother, Eileen DeLaTorre, said choking back tears in a phone interview Wednesday. "I think she just didn't want to bring the attention to herself because she was always trying to help everybody else."

"We just want to make sure that her name lives on," she added.

Ellyana, who suffered from severe obsessive compulsive disorder, had good days, but on bad days, it could take her several hours to put on a pair of pants; on others, she could barely get out of bed, DeLaTorre recalled. But, Ellyana, was also an "amazing athlete" who participated in competitive cheer, and in the seventh grade, was the youngest cheerleader to ever make the varsity cheer squad at Patchogue-Medford High School.

In her later years, she was classified as high-functioning on the autism spectrum.

During her spare time, she volunteered at The Lighthouse Mission in North Bellport and also had after-school jobs at an organic cafe on Main Street in Patchogue, as well as at her family's gift shop, Ellie J + CO, which has since closed.

Ellyana graduated high school with a Regents diploma in June and had hoped to take a gap year off before she attended college to study for a degree in social work. After college, she planned to help the homeless.

Her dreams were cut short.

She died in her sleep after returning from a night out on Aug. 5 and the police investigation into her death is continuing, DeLaTorre said.

It was not until an impromptu memorial was set up by friends that her family realized how many lives she had touched, according to DeLaTorre.

"She was just such a bright light and she helped so many people," she said, explaining that they shared very personal stories at her memorial.

'"She had more friends than anyone I've ever known," DeLaTorre said, adding, that she wasn't judgmental and had friends from all groups. "Everyone was just drawn to her. She just had this charisma about her. And, you know, everyone said she would just walk into a room and you couldn't help to just have a smile on your face when you saw her."

Some friends confided in DeLaTorre that Ellyana had raised them out of the depths of despair at times when they were ready to give up, but she pulled them out from under those feelings.

"Not only was she dealing with her own struggles, but she would just carry the weight around from everybody else being such a caring, empathetic person," DeLaTorre said. "She never wanted anybody else to be upset or to be hurt; she would do anything that she could to lift them up."

Her aunt, Cassie Pahel of East Patchogue, set up a GoFundMe page in memory of her "beautiful niece," writing that "the compassion and warmth she shared during her life will always be our surrounding light that comforts us during this difficult time and always."

The purpose of the fundraiser is "to bring attention to mental health awareness and its continued education and research," she wrote.

"Please know, we only want you to donate what you may and know that Ellyana loved so many of you," she wrote. "We appreciate your kindness, as you share with us the same kindness Ellyana showed to everyone in her life."

“When we lose someone we love, we must learn to not live without them, but to live with the love they left behind," she added.

So far, the endeavor has exceeded its original goal of raising only $5,000, instead nearly doubling to over $9,800 with the help of about 100 donors.

Chamber of Commerce Executive Director David Kennedy called upon the business community to support the fundraiser for the family, who had their gift shop next door to his office on North Ocean Avenue. "The family are wonderful people," he said.

Kennedy has known DeLaTorre, who is a lifelong Patchogue resident, for years, he said.

“I didn't know [Ellyana] as well as I knew her mom,” he said, adding, that she sounded like she was a very bright, energetic, and caring person.

Ellyana is survived by not only her mother, Eileen, but also her father, Ozzy, and younger brother, Jevani, 13.

She told her family before she died that if anything ever happened to her, she would prefer for everyone not to be sad and did not want to be remembered at a funeral, but rather a celebration of her life, DeLaTorre recalled.

That's what they did.

"We had a big celebration at our house with all her family and friends," she added.

But looking forward to the future, they would like Ellyana to live on in peoples' memories as someone who helped others.

The memorial fundraiser is still in the initial stages of being set up, and the family is not sure what form it will take on, so they have not yet settled on any specific charities, DeLaTorre said, but there will likely be a donation to the OCD Foundation.

"She just kind of soaked up everyone's problems, so aside from what she was suffering from, she carried everyone else's as well, so she just ... she helped so many people in the community," she said.

GoFundMe is a Patch Media partner.