The Wild Ones
By Nafiza Azad
3.5/5
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About this ebook
From William C. Morris Finalist Nafiza Azad comes a thrilling, feminist fantasy about a group of teenage girls endowed with special powers who must band together to save the life of the boy whose magic saved them all.
We are the Wild Ones, and we will not be silenced.
We are girls who have tasted the worst this world can offer. Our story begins with Paheli, who was once betrayed by her mother, sold to a man in exchange for a favor. When Paheli escaped, she ran headlong into Taraana—a boy with stars in his eyes, a boy as battered as she was. He tossed Paheli a box of stars before disappearing. With the stars, Paheli gained access to the Between, a place of pure magic and mystery. Now, Paheli collects girls like us, and we use our magic to travel the world, helping to save other girls from our pain, our scars.
When Taraana reappears, he asks for our help. Dangerous magical forces are chasing him, and they will destroy him to get his powers. We will do everything to save him—if we can. For if Taraana is no longer safe and free, neither are the Wild Ones. And that is a fate that we refuse to accept. Ever again.
Nafiza Azad
Nafiza Azad is a self-identified island girl. She has hurricanes in her blood and dreams of a time she can exist solely on mangoes and pineapple. Born in Lautoka, Fiji, she currently resides in British Columbia, Canada, where she reads too many books, watches too many K-dramas, and writes stories about girls taking over the world. Nafiza is the coeditor of the young adult anthology Writing in Color and author of The Candle and the Flame, which was nominated for the William C. Morris Award, The Wild Ones, and Road of the Lost. Learn more at NafizaAzad.com.
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The Wild Ones - Nafiza Azad
The Beginning, or How Paheli Became the First Wild One; With a Cameo by Taraana, the Boy Made of Stars.
I lived a life of spark and charm (false, of course) and (manufactured) wit and splendor. I lived my life on my toes, on a precipice, poised to fall. And fall I did.
But let me begin at the beginning.
My mother was a whore. Not a tawaif as she aspired to be, but a whore. Men visited my mother’s body as though it was a city they were supposed to conquer. I don’t know what circumstances led her to this profession, and she never volunteered the information.
She named me Paheli because she said I was a mystery. Whether I was a result of a yearning or a moment of weakness, she wouldn’t say, and over time I learned not to ask.
I know nothing of my father. No… that is not quite true. My eyes are the blue of Afghani skies like his must be. My skin is a deep brown like the earth after its first sip of rain. My mother’s skin is the color of day-old dough.
We lived in the City of Nawabs in India. Now Lucknow, back then it was known as Awadh. It wasn’t just the city of nawabs, however; it was also the city of tawaifs. What my mother wasn’t but what she wanted to be so desperately.
I remember the smells of the kotha. The first floor was rank with the smell of cheap perfume the first-floor whores applied liberally. The aroma of food emanating from the kitchens vied with the stench of the refuse that waited for attention right outside the back doors. Below all this was another scent, one that I now associate with despair.
The second, third, and fourth floors of the kotha were the domain of the tawaifs. The air in those rooms was infused with fragrances created exclusively for them.
What is a tawaif if not a whore? A tawaif, sisters, is a courtesan. She is well versed in the arts of conversation and seduction. She is schooled in music and dance, particularly the mujra. She sings ghazals and plays instruments. Her intellect is formidable and her beauty so divine that the moneyed nawabs paid fortunes to partake of it.
Not for her a dingy, dark room in a row of dingy, dark rooms on the first floor at the back of the kotha. She has a scented boudoir, decorated in silk and satin. Men seek pleasure from her; they do not simply satiate their lusts. Grace, elegance, and choice: a tawaif has them all.
I grew up learning to keep my eyes cast down lest I be the recipient of unsavory notice from my mother’s clients. I never left the kotha; I wasn’t allowed to. Girl children are tender morsels to those whose hunting grounds are the city’s pavements. There were other children in the kotha—some were even my friends—but our first loyalty was to our mothers, and our mothers were often embroiled in complicated feuds with each other. Though the kotha was always full of people, I sometimes went days without speaking to a single person.
My mother’s face had been disfigured by a childhood illness, which made her dream of being a tawaif precisely that: a dream. Still, the sisterhood in the kotha was not exclusive, and the women would have enfolded her within its arms had my mother been a nicer person. She wasn’t, though. She wasn’t nice at all. So, she was reviled around the kotha, and the only reason the Malkin, the owner of the kotha, tolerated my mother was because she liked me.
I grew up on scraps of attention thrown my way by the various whores on the first floor. The second, third, and fourth levels of the kotha were forbidden to us children unless we were sent on errands. My mother mostly kept me in that windowless room that served as home, apart from the time she worked. Those hours, from five in the afternoon to two in the morning, I was left to my own devices. When I was young, my mother paid a kitchen maid to take care of me, but after I turned five, I was deemed old enough to look after myself.
What do I tell you of the evenings at the kotha, sisters? I used to slip under a table set on the side in the central courtyard and peek out from behind the overhanging tablecloth at the spectacles that unfolded there every evening. The evening gatherings, the mehfils, were filled with color; each tawaif was dressed in bejeweled finery, and glowing with life and laughter. The sweetness of the ghazals they sang enraptured me. I was too young to appreciate the sly wit in the banter the tawaifs and the nawabs shared; too young, at first, to understand the incomprehensible whispering between two hearts that people fancifully called romance. The nawabs who frequented the kotha were peacocks; knowing that their money alone wasn’t enough to attract attention, they seduced as much as they were seduced.
I would fall asleep under the table and wake only when I could no longer hear the bells of the ghungroo the tawaifs wore to dance.
The city outside the walls of the kotha was unknown to me and would remain so until the year I turned sixteen. My mother had been trying to get the Malkin to take me on as a tawaif-in-training but to no avail. My skin wasn’t fair enough, the Malkin said. I was fiercely glad. My mother’s ambitions for me aside, I had no plans on whoring myself. I didn’t know what I planned to do with my life, but I knew with a certainty that my mother’s trade was not for me.
Not that my desires meant much to my mother. My blue eyes were a ticket she meant to use to elevate her status. So, she sent me, ostensibly on errands, to the tawaifs’ domain, hoping I would run into a nawab and gain his interest. But I subverted her commands at each point. If I couldn’t avoid being in the presence of the nawabs, I would wear my most mulish expression and keep my eyes cast down. Would you look at a dandelion in a field of orchids? They didn’t either.
I only let my guard down once and only for half a second. I thought I was safe; I thought that no one was around. I should have been safe.
It was early in the morning when the denizens of the kotha were all asleep. I had spent the night under a table again, though at sixteen I was a bit too large to properly fit under there. The courtyard was lit dimly by a few glass lamps scattered here and there. I walked, rubbing my eyes, not seeing where I was going, and kicked a ghungroo that had been lying on the floor. I picked it up and shook it, smiling at the sound it made.
When did I realize I wasn’t alone? A sense of danger ran a shiver down my spine, and I looked up at the stairs that led to the second floor. A man, still wearing the effects of the sleepless night on his face and his clothes, stood there. His eyes met mine and widened in surprise. He smiled. Startled, I dropped the ghungroo and ran. I should have known to be afraid.
Days passed and I made another unforgivable mistake. I forgot about the encounter in the dark; I forgot about the man. The Malkin told me about a tawaif who had retired and needed a girl to work in her home. I wanted to be that girl. I was full of dreams of escape. Perhaps my mother noticed.
That day, sisters, dawned red. Not that the day has any business with the work of the whores, but nevertheless, the day dawned red. My mother was uncharacteristically kind that day. She told me it was my birthday, and as I didn’t know any better, I believed her. She fed me halwa puri, combed my hair, and embraced me for the first time in a long while. Later, she made me dress in a gharara she had borrowed from an acquaintance. Then, when the first stars of the night were dotting the horizon, she took me to a party on the rich side of the city.
I should have questioned her then, but I didn’t. I should have known to be suspicious, but I was bedazzled by the attention she was giving me. So, I followed her to that party. She was my mother. I thought she would never do anything that would harm me.
He was there, that man who had been on the stairs that morning in the kotha. The man about whom I had forgotten. He was there.
You all have known a similar flavor of pain, sisters. Even if I don’t put it into words, you know what happens next. The same old tale of the lamb and the wolf. You have heard it before. You have lived it before.
I escaped too late, running out of the nawab’s haveli on bare feet. I was bleeding from the gash on my arm, from the scratches on my face, from between my legs. It hurt to run, but it would have destroyed me to stay.
The night was alive and the city streets blurred as I ran without direction, without thought, without reason. I ran and ran and ran and would have run farther still had I not turned a corner and bumped into that boy. We both fell from the impact. His lips were split, and he coughed up a mouthful of blood. He looked as shattered as I felt.
We stared at each other under the pale light of the half-moon. He had a five-pointed star in the pupil of each eye, and his skin glowed gold like he was made of stardust. My reality receded slightly when I looked at him glowing like a desert in the afternoon sun. The boy got to his feet and made to go. Then he stopped and turned back to me. Without warning he tossed me a box. I barely got my hands up in time to catch it. I blinked and he was gone. I was left with the night, left with the pain; left alone, scared, and shattered.
My reality reasserted itself. At that moment, the shadows provided an illusion of safety, but where would I go next? I couldn’t go back to the kotha. I definitely wouldn’t go back to that woman who no longer deserved the title of my mother.
I looked down at the box in my hands. It was plain brown wood. I opened it and took a deep breath. On a square piece of black silk was a collection of stars. The stars in the box were identical to the stars in the eyes of the boy I had bumped into. I picked one up and placed it on the palm of my hand.
The sound of voices coming from behind me made me tense, and I clenched my hands into fists without realizing. The star dug into my hand, and all of a sudden, a fire flamed in my veins. I squeezed my eyes shut, intensely aware of my ravaged body, the road underneath my bare feet, my torn clothes, and the pain. Always the pain. The skin on my palm stung, and when I looked at it, I saw that the star I had been holding was now embedded there, like a badge or a medal.
I looked up and the world was different. I managed to get to my feet, though my knees buckled once or twice. I put a hand, palm flat, against a wall for support. A door appeared in the wall I was touching. Golden light glimmered from underneath the door.
I didn’t question it, sisters. I pulled the door open, and stepped through.
An Introduction;
Hold On to Your Hats.
We are the Wild Ones. We are made of whimsy and lemon.
We have the temerity to be not just women, but women of color. Women with melanin in our skin and voices in our throats. Voices that will not be vanquished. Not now, not ever. We will not be silenced.
Just in case it needs to be said, all you need to be a girl, to be a woman, is to decide you are one. Your gender is your decision.
There have been many of us over time and between time. We write glimpses of our stories, of the lives we led before we became wild, in a Book of Memories. We share some of our stories, some of its pages, interspersed within Paheli’s story.
Our lingua franca? Why, darlings, we speak all dialects of pain.
Paheli’s story is our story. We will give it shape, allow it reason, fashion it wings, and watch it fly.
Now. Are you ready? Take a deep breath. Let’s be wild.
The Sweetness in the Sugarcane, or The Impractical Nature of Immortality
The air inside the Between smells very much like the air inside very posh hotels: expensive with hints of nature. Ligaya, with hair as dark as an evil witch’s heart, walks to a patch of wall and carefully pulls out a plump diamond embedded in it. She places it gently in a small sack that contains other Between diamonds, each one as exquisite as the other.
We don’t take many diamonds out of the Between. Just enough to keep us sparkly and satiated. The stars embedded in the palms of our right hands qualify us as the Wild Ones, and, as the Wild Ones, our needs are numerous.
At this moment, we are traipsing silently down the Between. It would be easiest if you thought of the Between as a corridor snaking throughout the world, invisible to human sensibilities and precious to magical ones. The walls of the Between are made of stone, like a medieval castle corridor flanked on either side by closed doors. If you turn the knob on a particular door, it will open to a city. Each door in the Between leads to a different city in the world. This corridor is always illuminated by a golden light, which, if you believe Paheli, is magic. We can feel this light soaking through our skin and filling us up.
It is never silent in the Between. You can always hear voices talking, laughing, screaming, or crying. There are murmured conversations between lovers, confrontations between enemies, mundane exchanges, and illicit whispers that tease your ears. The worst moment is when you hear a voice you think you recognize. The best is when you hear one you wish you did. So, we are silent in the Between because all of us have some voices we wish to hear and others we never want to hear again.
Once in a while, we pass a middle worlder. None of them stop to talk to us or pay us any attention apart from a furtive glance or two. You see, in the Between, we are invincible and middle worlders know it.
Paheli leads us, as she always does. Her steps are soundless, but the skirt of her dress susurrates as she walks. Widad is wearing belled anklets that chime sweetly with each step, and Daraja’s yellow bangles make their own music. We need no words to announce our presence.
We come to a stop in front of a pale orange door. Every door in the Between is a different color. Paheli’s eyes have a familiar caution in them. A caution that simmers in the depths of all our eyes. We know exactly what kind of monsters hide in dark places and the kind that walk, without fear, out in the open.
Paheli opens the door and steps through. We follow her. The heat greets us like a lover, enveloping us in a tight embrace. Talei beams, luxuriating in the familiar feel of what was once her home. Areum and Etsuko, though, groan their displeasure.
Thus, we arrive in Lautoka, Fiji. You may have heard of Fiji. People speak of it fondly as a holiday destination. Couples who want something more exotic than Hawaii often name it as the place they will honeymoon. Safe in a resort, where the locals are trotted out to perform so their culture becomes a spectacle for those who have money and are willing to part with it.
After all, everyone has to eat.
We are standing in a small alley beside a rather run-down apartment building on the outskirts of Lautoka City. The apartment on the second floor is ours; we bought it through an intermediary ten years ago. The apartment is dusty, and the mismatched furniture looks particularly forlorn. A withered hibiscus plant stands in a sunny corner. The stuffiness in the air tells tales of our neglect.
Areum turns on the air conditioner at the highest setting while Daraja gives her a look and turns it off. She opens the large windows instead, letting the air in.
There’s no breeze, Dara!
Areum whines, flopping down. Her long hair, currently an electric blue, sticks to her skin, and she picks up a lock, giving it a sinister look. I think it’s time for a haircut.
Kamboja, splendidly ignoring her, settles down on the tiled floor. Her hair is shorn short. I feel every minute of my seventy-five years today.
You’re actually seventy-six,
Valentina says, giving her a sweet smile. Kamboja’s glare amuses her, and she giggles merrily.
To be a Wild One means to exist partially in the human world and partially in the middle world while not belonging to either of them. Why? Because we belong wholly to the Between, which is not a world but a pathway.
Though the worlds we partially inhabit are anchored in time, we aren’t. Time moves forward for these worlds, but we remain stranded at the age we were when we accepted the stars we wear on the palms of our hands. In other words, our bodies do not age, though our minds do. If you want to call this immortality, you are welcome to.
Talei ignores everyone in the cramped living room and opens up all the windows Daraja hasn’t gotten to. The noon song of the city pours in, and for a minute, we sit quietly and listen.
Cities have souls, you know. They are alive and sometimes they die. They grow old either gracefully or shamefully. They shrink and they expand. They grieve and celebrate. We have been to many cities in the world. We have learned the languages they speak, and though we cannot speak these languages, we have learned to listen and understand.
Lautoka City, or as it is known among the locals, Sugar City, is full of verve. Not the verve you’ll find in, say, New York, but an island excitement. A molasses-slow excitement. The air is heavy with the smell of, yes, exhaust, but also sugar. The sugar mills are hard at work on one end of the city. The magic here is thin and patchy, though. Bigger cities, older cities, have stronger magic.
We breathe deep of the sweet air and let the excitement in it infect us. We are here for the festival after all.
Mangoes,
Paheli announces suddenly. I must have mangoes.
I’m sorry to break it to you
—though by the sharp grin on Talei’s face, she’s really not—it’s not mango season.
Well.
Paheli illustrates her disappointment by sitting down on the floor beside Kamboja.
Get up.
Valentina nudges her with her foot. We have to go get some money.
Oh. I suppose I can find ice cream along the way.
Paheli perks up and gets to her feet. Her cloud of light pink hair is tied up tightly in a bun. Who is coming with us?
Daraja and Talei elect to accompany her while the rest of us pick up the supplies from under the sink and give the apartment the cleaning it desperately needs.
We have been to Lautoka City enough times that her streets are, if not home, then familiar to us. It is late afternoon, and the city is gaining an emptiness that is normal for her. Soon, stores will start closing up, and the night will find the city ready to sleep. Of course, not all stores close. Some, especially those that serve food and offer other entertainment, remain open till late. The only bus station in the city is open for service until six p.m. You are on your own after that.
Not that we are going anywhere outside the city. We couldn’t even if we wanted to. We can travel between cities in the Between but not out in the world. Our footsteps can only go as far as the city boundaries. Beyond that is an invisible wall that separates the wild and the city. We can bang into the barrier, but we cannot get through it—not unless we take off our stars.
After ten minutes of walking, we reach a rather shabby store located between a clothing boutique called Makanjee’s and a place selling silver pots and pans. The windows of our intended destination are entirely opaque, as if the products inside are too precious to be viewed by the passing riffraff.
A bell rings when we push the door open and pile in; it is a sonorous sound that echoes in the dark interior of the store.
Large canisters full of colored sugar make up the entire inventory of the store. But see, this isn’t the sugar you will find in a grocery store frequented by humans. No, the sugar crystals offered by this store have rather esoteric qualities that customers would do well to be aware of. We have, on occasion, sampled some of the sugar from this place. It caused us to stumble into dreams where flowers bled crimson and the sun was a threat in the sky. Another time the sugar gave us wings, and for thirty minutes we flew. Yet another time, the sugar turned us all into stone, and we learned the true meaning of stillness. The effect wore off, but we have a newfound sympathy for statues.
We haven’t been to this store in years, but nothing seems to have changed in the time we were away. We wait at the counter, and a minute later the proprietor emerges from the back room with a wary look in his eyes and a weapon in his hands. We look at the staff he is holding with great interest.
Valentina gives Paheli a look, and Paheli looks wounded. I haven’t done anything to him. I swear!
The not-human man’s name is Josefa, and he has always been friendly to us, so the hostility we see on his face is unexpected.
The staff, made of some kind of wood, is hooked at the top and has a vaguely menacing aura. It is a magician’s staff; that much we know. We also know that it is used to direct magic to or at anyone the wielder desires. We are of the Between, however, and untouchable, at least by magic.
Josefa relaxes infinitesimally when he recognizes us, and his expression reorganizes itself into something friendlier. He lowers the staff and places it out of sight.
So, you are not going to try to kill us?
Paheli asks. Valentina pinches her. I’m just asking!
I’m sorry. There have been upheavals recently,
Josefa says shortly. He is a tall man with dark skin and amber eyes. His age is indeterminable. Middle worlders, not-human men and women, live longer lives than their human counterparts, but they, too, cannot evade death. Every city we have traveled to has a store run by a not-human person with whom we can exchange the Between diamonds for money that we use in the human world.
What kind of upheavals?
Paheli asks, the usual joviality absent from her face. What she means is, How will this affect us?
Josefa gives us a considering look. He knows that we are of the Between.
"Power has changed hands. That which was imprisoned was set free. The streets have, once again, become hunting grounds. Those without