Look Both Ways Quotes

“What I'm asserting is that we are looking at bisexuality the wrong way, making the identity entirely dependent on someone other that the bisexual person him- or herself. If I'm dating a man, I'm straight. If I'm dating a woman, I'm a lesbian. But sexuality is not who you sleep with, it's who you are. It doesn't change according to who is standing next to you.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“Freud's most radical legacy is the one that is the least actualized. After years of evolution on the topic, he came to the conclusion that any exclusive monosexual interest - regardless of whether it was hetero- or homosexual - was neurotic. In a sense Freud is saying what second-wave critic Kate Millet said a half-century late: "Homosexuality was invented by a straight world dealing with its own bisexuality." By the end of his writings, in 1937, Freud was downright blythe about bisexuality: "Every human being['s] . . . libido is distributed, either in a manifest or a latent fashion, over objects of both sexes.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“The term bisexual has ended up as the ugly stepchild of sexuality, in both name and meaning. Its fate is symptomatic of the bisexual's own lot in life: to be as common as can be, but unacknowledged.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“Bisexual people are the primary conduits for the cultural conversation that America is having about gay rights.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“Hey ladies - I got hands. They are exquisite and highly trained from years of fingering and fisting. My hands can kick your new boyfriend's hands' ass. All I'm saying is go for something a lesbian can't give you, like testicles or musk or unwanted pregnancy. Don't be bragging about how your man cries or listens to you. You can get that with us.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“If it's comfortable it's not feminist - unless of course we're talking about shoes.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“She's that bad boy you want, but in a girl who believes in recycling. Freud described the kinds of feelings I had for Amy as loving the same person twice, as a woman and as a man.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“[Adrienne Rich] was one of the only major intellectuals since Freud to assert that homosexuality was anything other than a problem. She is also notable for describing a continuum, like Kinesey's, of lesbian love - a continuum that begins with the intimacy of a mother nursing her daughter and ends with a nurturing, egalitarian love relationship between two women. While this theory eventually contributed to the stifling stereotype that lesbians only cuddle and nuzzle in bed, supporting each other and drinking chamomile tea, Rich was savvy to link same-sex love - so taboo, so unnatural - with a role for women seen as unassailable: being a mother.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“In the 70's, there was a profound fear of being gay, to be sure, but with the burgeoning understanding of sexism and misogyny, it became harder to understand why one would want to "sleep with the enemy," either. For some, lesbian love was a pragmatic route to fairness. (The sex and foot massages were just a bonus.)”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“Grizzled white men poured drinks and dispensed dubious wisdom. Young white women in tight clothes delivered the food and the smiles and said "sorry" all the time. Short brown men cooked it all and cleaned it all up, and still managed to rise above the racial oppression of the United states to make kissing sounds at us waitresses whenever we were in the kitchen.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“In spite of this love, sex, and equality with Steven, I didn't want to let go of Amy. More than that, I sensed that the good stuff I has now having with Steven had something to do with what she had brought out in me. Or more, to the point, my confidence and self-knowledge about what I wanted had something to do with having a woman in my romantic sphere. it wasn't long before I broke up with Steven and fell in love with Amy.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“Bethany Martin, another Hope College senior, put it like this: "If i could have equality and fulfillment with a woman, but I couldn't with a man - then why wouldn't I choose a woman?”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“Trust was the sexual clincher for Dolores Alexander, the once-married early NOW member from chapter 3. "Once I had had sex with a woman," says Alexander "it was mind-blowing, it was so much better than with men. [My sexuality] just never became a question, I just stayed there. The issue was trust. I felt I could trust women so much more than I could ever trust a man. You are dealing on a truly peer level with women and you are not with men - or at least I wasn't.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics

“Researchers have discovered that "stereotype threat," that is, the mere presence of a preferred group (white or male) diminishes the performance of an under preferred group.”
― Jennifer Baumgardner, Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics