Chlöe: My Community Means the World to Me

Chlöe is a singer-songwriter whose latest single, "Boy Bye," debuted in April. For PS's Radical Honesty issue, she discusses overcoming depression. Read more radically honest stories here.

My album "In Pieces" was written over the course of three years, and when I first started creating that body of work, I was really at a place where I was feeling quite low and I was using the music to pull me out of a dark place. So that's why I ended up calling it "In Pieces," because the music was created at a time when I was picking up the pieces and putting myself back together.

I was using music as my therapy. I wasn't too honest about my mental state and health at the time to a lot of people. Even when I started doing press for "In Pieces," I'd have close friends and family send me clips of interviews being like, "I had no idea." Usually, that is what happens: people see you smiling all the time and it seems as if everything's OK in the world — it isn't, but you're the best at hiding it. And I didn't want to use mental health as a selling point for the album; it wasn't about marketing. But I was like, if I'm being so honest in this music and lyrically, you'll be able to hear exactly what I'm going through. I might as well take it one little step further and connect the dots for people who would already be assuming what I was going through, based on the lyrics.

At that point, it was nothing from the outside or social media world that was affecting me. It was from people I know, who were in my life, who had the biggest influence on me. People who you think will be there for the rest of your life, people who you think have your back through and through — they have the knife. That's where the most painful stuff lies.

Not to sound too dark or to go back to that place, because I'm out of it now, but going through those experiences always feels so lonely and isolating. Without my godmother, I probably wouldn't be here right now. She definitely reminded me of my strength and my beauty as a human and what I can contribute to this world. That's why I stick to her like glue, because at a time when I was so scared to share how I was feeling and what I was going through, she saw it in me and cared enough to help me get out of it.

To have someone who saw what I was going through before I even saw it myself — that really helped pull me out of it. You have to get out of that stage of denial first. And when I started to realize I was feeling these things, I would write it through music. It took me 15 times before I could listen to "In Pieces" without crying, because it was so personal for me. There are a lot of things in the lyrics of that song that have deeper meaning than what people think on the surface.

Like everything, my mental health has its ebbs and flows. There are some days where I'm having the best day ever, some days are not so much. I am taking more time out for myself. I have fallen in love with the country of Saint Lucia, and anytime I need a break or things are feeling a little too crazy, I come here. I will just lay out in the sun, I'll swim. And knowing how small I feel here on this island, it puts into perspective that all the things I feel are problems and issues in my life — they're really not. They're not as grand as I have made them. It's all about changing your perspective.

It's so important to take it day by day. Don't try to think about next week or next month, just make sure you can make it through the day. And don't be afraid to use resources around you, whether it's therapy or a hobby. You don't have to hold the weight of the world on your own. Looking back at that time, I'm really, really proud of myself. I'm a Cancer and I'm really sensitive, but when I look back at things that I've pulled myself out of, I realize how strong of a human being that I am. I'm such a strong woman. One of my favorite phrases that my godmom says is, "Those stones that people throw at you, use them to build your bridge." So that's what I do.

Jump back to the Radically Honest issue.

Lena Felton is the senior director of features and special content at POPSUGAR, where she oversees feature stories, special projects, and our identity content. Previously, she was an editor at The Washington Post, where she led a team covering issues of gender and identity.