The first book in the series felt a bit more genuine because Lady Blakeney was unaware of her husband's secFun. But not as fun as the original.
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The first book in the series felt a bit more genuine because Lady Blakeney was unaware of her husband's secret identity, so her fuckups were funny but she didn't come off as an idiot. This time around, she just came off as a dumbass for the sake of dumbassery.
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So, due to plot requirements, Marguerite St. Just (aka Lady Blakeney) rushes headfirst into danger and gets herself captured by the evil Chauvelin and his cronies. HEADS WILL ROLL! Get it? Get it...?
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The best part of this one is how sweet Marguerite and Percy are together in this one. Come for the adventure, stay for the romance, right?
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Ok, so the skinny gist is that Chauvelin manages to worm an invite into the Blakeney's home during a big party, and then challenges Sir Percy to a duel over the honor of a French actress who purposely stirred up a young guest of the Blakeneys by wearing her dead mother's jewels to the party. Duels are illegal in England, so when Percy accepts Chauvelin's challenge the only way to fulfill it is to travel to France. Where the mad revolutionists are waiting to grab him and lop off his head! Or something along those lines.
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This story, while cute, just didn't have the same spark for me. I'm not sure if I continue on with these books, but I'm not sorry I've read them, either....more
If you love the She-Devil then you'll more than likely enjoy Gail Simone's updated take on this character. There Simone's Red Sonja kicks ass.
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If you love the She-Devil then you'll more than likely enjoy Gail Simone's updated take on this character. There were a lot of fun nods to her original storyline that made me smile. The one that stood out the most was when she faced a swordsman who had never been beaten. When he admitted that he was still a virgin because he'd vowed to only sleep with someone who could best him, her reaction was horror at such a stupid oath. If you've read the old comics then you know that was exactly the same silly promise she had made.
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There was a lot to like here, but my favorite arc was the first one that ended with volume 1. It was intense and it was badass. The origin with her village being attacked, and then her meeting with the king who showed her kindness and freed her from the gladiator games that would have forced her to kill her best friend. I loved everything about that whole story. Especially the twist at the end.
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The rest of the issues had a little more fun to them. Not that I minded it, but you could just tell the stakes weren't that high. Lots of jokes about how stinky and randy she was, and not as much...something? Urgency? Idk. It was fine. I just preferred the beginning story. Her fight with the goddess of Death was cool, though.
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Overall, fans of this character will love Simone's take on her. She's not just an author, she's a superfan and it shows. Recommended....more
This book embodies the term swashbuckling. As in, Don Diego de la Vega swashes and buckles better than anyone who has ever held a sword and loved a womThis book embodies the term swashbuckling. As in, Don Diego de la Vega swashes and buckles better than anyone who has ever held a sword and loved a woman.
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I still can't make up my mind if it was great or awful but I enjoyed it either way. Zorro sings, winks at his friends, taunts his enemies, steals romantic kisses from his betrothed, and generally is just the best at everything right up to the last page. Is it at all realistic? No. But dammit, it's exactly what we want to see!
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The Further Adventures continues with a character we thought was dead at the end of the last book, the evil Caption Ramon, rising up from the grave to haunt Zorro and his soon-to-be bride, the lovely senorita Lolita. McCulley doesn't bother to explain why Ramon isn't still dead, he just flitters past it with a quick little - he recovered from getting run through with a sword and lying on the floor in a pool of his own blood for god knows how long before someone must have realized he was still alive and took him to the ER, where I'm sure they performed cutting edge surgery that saved his life, and now he's up and running about as though nothing happened - kind of explanation. In other words, Captain Ramon rises from the ashes like a phoenix because that first Zorro movie was a hit and now we're making a sequel.
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On the flip side, the somewhat morally ambiguous Sgt. Gonzales makes a complete turnaround and is now solidly on the side of angels. And Zorro's friends the bold caballeros, who honestly seem like a bunch of chivalrous frat boys, also play a bigger role in this book.
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Bill Homewood was perfect because he read this in an even more OTT way than anyone could have possibly asked him to do. I visualized the villain's twirling mustache, I saw Zorro skipping along the ship's rigging singing, and I felt faint as Senorita Lolita Pulido swooned. I should have been rolling my eyes but I was in love with his rendition of these characters.
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So prepare yourself, Random Goodreader. Pirates may make our hero walk the plank, but the power of friendship, shoddy rope-tying practices, and true love will eventually save the day! Recommended....more
Top to bottom, this was great. As an adventure story, this has it all - swordfights, near escapes, secret identities, romance, anSo. Much. Fun.
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Top to bottom, this was great. As an adventure story, this has it all - swordfights, near escapes, secret identities, romance, and deliciously colorful villains! Normally when I hear that something was serialized, I just assume it's going to be a bit too long and full of unnecessary filler that the author was using to pad out his word count. Not this time. McCulley wrote this in 5 easy installments, each one chock full of nothing but pulpy goodness.
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The story is seemingly set in the late 1700s to early 1800s when California was still under Spanish rule. Although, I'm not an expert and I believe some of the movies depict the time period as under Mexican rule. Point is, this was before California was a part of the United States and the West was still wild. Our hero, Don Diego Vega, is rich and handsome but pretends to be a lifeless dud so no one will suspect that he is actually the swashbuckling hero Zorro - righter of wrongs and defender of innocents!
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Fun Facts: In Spanish zorro means fox, so if you're wondering what all the references to the fox are about in this thing, there's your answer. Also, this was originally titled The Curse of Capistrano when it came out in 1919, but after the popularity of the silent film The Mark of Zorro, the book was re-released in 1924 with the same name.
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I wasn’t expecting to like it as much as The Scarlet Pimpernel, but I did. If I had to pick between the two of them it would be tough, and Orczy’s adventure tale has been my go-to for a classic that is actually fun to read for years. Highly Recommended!...more
Oh. I don't know what I thought the Jack Reacher books would be like, but I wasn't expecting what I got. This was written in 1997 and it shows. A lot ofOh. I don't know what I thought the Jack Reacher books would be like, but I wasn't expecting what I got. This was written in 1997 and it shows. A lot of macho man stuff. Like, an unreasonable amount of macho man stuff. I mean, I've known a couple of guys who used to work as MPs back in the day, and they weren't ninja assassins. At alllll. But according to Reacher, if you're military police then you have to track down scary military guys with all kinds of special training, so you have to be trained yourself. I'm not so sure about that. I would think if there's some kind of badass killer loose in the military, they will send another badass military killer after them, not a cop. Even a military cop. I could be wrong!
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And yet... At one point Reacher says he knows a lot of fighting tricks because he and his brother were always the new kids at school. Wait. School yard fights? That's your ace in the hole? Maybe in the next book, he teams up with a guy who used to play D&D and was in the chess club. I'll bet that dude got his ass kicked plenty in school, too. According to Killing Floor logic they could take on some rogue Navy Seals and win!
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Alright, I'm being a tad silly. But you will need to suspend disbelief and pull on your action movie panties for this one because there was just way more than one man's fair share of overbaked machismo wafting off of Mr. Reacher. He's a lone wolf. A drifter. A mighty warrior. He's like Lou Ferrigno's Hulk just wandering around from small town to small town, righting the wrongs. Except Jack is a panty melter, so he's going to get laid a bunch while he does it.
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I know this is an introductory book but it was quite a bit longer than I thought necessary for what actually happened plot-wise. So, buckle up. It's not some fast-paced thriller that will keep you on the edge of your seat. There's a lot of meandering around while Reacher and his new friends try to uncover...a sinister counterfeit money ring in the small town of Margrave, Georgia. Still. If you step carefully around the 90s plot holes, you might just have a good time.
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This is a certain kind of book for a certain kind of reader. And in the same way that I know not everyone enjoys a good bodice ripper, not everyone will enjoy Killing Floor. It has the same level of fantasy cheese that a trashy romance novel has, but in a Reacher novel, your audience is going to be mainly dudes. I don't see anything wrong with it. I hear there are about 700 books in this series, so there must be something that keeps fans coming back for more. Recommended for fans of The Expendables....more
A nice young man who is henpecked by his fiancee has the adventure of a lifetime. And it changes his outlook on the world.
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City clerk Edward RobA nice young man who is henpecked by his fiancee has the adventure of a lifetime. And it changes his outlook on the world.
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City clerk Edward Robinson is a dreamer who reads romance novels and wishes he could be like the heroes in those stories. His fiancee, Maud, is a level-headed girl who treats him like a child, scolding and prodding him to do the smart thing. Insisting that he take the expensive ring he bought her back and telling him that they must wait till his prospect improve before they get married.
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Unbeknownst to Maud, Edward won £500 in a newspaper competition and bought the small two-seat car that he had been longing for, instead of saving the money like he knows she would have made him do had he told her. In an effort to avoid facing the music, he lies to Maud about what he is doing on Christmas Eve and goes for a long ride in his new car. When he stops the car and gets out to admire a beautiful view, everything changes.
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Due to a mix-up, he ends up getting back into the wrong car and having an adventure with a beautiful young lady and her famous jet-setting crowd. Managing to pull off a wild night and an even wilder lie at the end of it, he realizes that maybe he really could be like those manly guys he reads about in books. A little bit of confidence goes a long way. I love this one!
Arr, me matey! I've finally downed the children's classic, Treasure Island. Sadly, these pirates weren't nearly as sexy as I was expecting. Where were aArr, me matey! I've finally downed the children's classic, Treasure Island. Sadly, these pirates weren't nearly as sexy as I was expecting. Where were all the sweaty pirate abs I've come to expect from the plethora of trashy romance novels I've gobbled down over the years? Not here, that's for damn sure.
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And mainly because of the overabundance of bodice rippers on my bookshelf, I felt like I maybe needed to expand my maritime horizons, and it seemed that going with a classic sailor story wouldn't be a bad way to accomplish that goal.
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Unsurprisingly, this is a pretty boring book by today's standards. And if this was what they gave kids to read back in the day, I'm no longer shocked that people found long walks and/or journaling about said long walks a valid form of entertainment.
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When I'm done churning this butter, should I whittle for a bit before we have a family sing-a-long around the fire?
Going to be totally honest, I don't understand the yearning for a simpler lifestyle, as this scenario sounds like my own personal version of Hell.
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Alright! Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson and why you should read it. It's short! <--not as much of a time suck as Count of Monte Cristo It's a classic! <-- therefore, you will sound classy It's got pirates! <--remember: dirty rum-bloated pirates, not shirtless Fabio pirates You can learn new drinking songs! <--Yo ho ho and a bottle of Zima, bitches
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That all sounds great. But what is Treasure Island about, Anne? The gist is that our young hero, Jim Hawkins, has the shittiest luck ever. His dad dies and leaves a tweenage Jim and his mother with a ramshackle inn to run, complete with a scary drunken sailor (Billy Bones) who's not too keen on paying his tab as a tenant. He's what the kids these days call a scallywag.
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Why does it matter that Bones is continually dodging rent? Well, after Billy Bob meets his maker with the help of a few of his old sailing pals, Jim and his mother have to rifle through his things to get payment. AND JIM FINDS A MAP. <--to a place called Treasure Island *choir vocalizes*
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Back in the day, if you found a map it was apparently adventure time. You and your neighbors would rent a ship, hire a sketchy crew, and set out for parts unknown full of high hopes that you'd be coming back with gold doubloons! The reality is that you'd be lucky to come back alive without scurvy or syphilis. And dark thoughts like that are why I would have made a terrible pirate-adventurer...
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The adults (of course) make some really bad decisions when it comes to securing an efficient crew. They have a competent captain, but instead of listening to him, they hire a fairly obvious villain as the cook and then proceed to take his advice over the captain's. This ensures they have quite a surly group of sailors to man the SS Mutiny. Who is this cook? Long John Silver. <--yes, exactly like the sub-par seafood restaurant! When your cook's name is synonymous with chewy shrimp poppers and diarrhea, you might want to rethink your hiring process.
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Luckily for all the grown-ups, Jim is a brave and hearty lad who manages to save the day! <--not really Ok, so this was written back when it was a big deal to keep your word. Like, if you promised your kidnappers that you wouldn't try to run for it, then you couldn't try to run for it because that would make you a liar. Which, for some unfathomable reason, was worth more than your life. SWEAR TO GOD, THESE OLD-TIMEY PEOPLE WERE RIDICULOUS.
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Naturally, there comes a point in the story where Jim needed to hop a fence and get the hell out of there, but wouldn't - because INTEGRITY. And I suppose we're meant to think he's a better person for it, but all I could think was that maybe Stevenson based his story around a child with special needs. Except, no. Because the doctor agreed with Jim, so apparently in the days of yore, the good guys couldn't just win, they had to win by a set of idiotic rules. Which is nuts! What are you teaching our kids, Robert!?
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Looking someone dead in the eyes whilst giving a firm handshake and lying through your teeth is a fucking lifeskill that every child needs to have perfected by adulthood in order to survive.
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But whatever. This is a fantasy, so it all works out for our heroes. They return home with their honor intact, a good bit of wealth, no STDs, and only a little bit of PTSD that kicks in whenever they hear a parrot squawk.
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Read it. As far as classics go, you could do a lot worse than this one.
Hands down the WORST book I've read all year. I mean, there's boring and then there's mind-numbing. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is definitely the lattHands down the WORST book I've read all year. I mean, there's boring and then there's mind-numbing. 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea is definitely the latter.
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I was actually looking forward to listening to this. It's supposed to be a classic action/adventure sci-fi book, right? And it's not an overly long book, which made me assume it was a pretty compact story. Plus, I usually have better luck when it comes to these older novels if I listen to the audiobook instead of trying to wade through all the crunchy dialogue with my eyeballs. So, between those factors, I thought this would be a complete winner. But ho-ly shit this was terrible. Terrible!
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Ok, how to describe this book? Alright. If a really tedious nature show fucked a 5th grade word problem and didn't use a condom - 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea would be their bastard child. The vast majority of this thing: Lattitude 54, Longitude 45. <--or whatever. On the {insert random date here} the crew of the Nautilus and my companions entered the {insert random body of water here} and observed {insert random sea life here}. Then Aronnax would go on to describe in excruciating detail every fucking thing about whatever chunk of seaweed, fish, oyster bed, sediment, etc. that they happened to be floating past. Now, sometimes my mind will wander for a second when I'm listening to an audiobook. Usually, it's one of those Did I remember to give my kid the check for that field trip? things that distract me. And then I'll just have to back the book up a few seconds to recoup whatever info I just lost. But with this one, I was spacing out constantly due to the fact that there was literally NOTHING happening. But I could lose half an hour and it wouldn't fucking matter because the professor would still be droning on about different types of pearls and how they were made, and what colors there were, and how much each kind sold for on the open market, and whether or not the oyster wept when they were gone. Or some other such nonsense.
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Where was the action I was promised?! Where was the adventure?! Not here, that's for goddamn sure. Still, I remembered hearing about the famous Scene With The Giant Squid and I figured it might make all of this other garbage worth wading through. Supposedly, it was this super awesome battle between man and cephalopod that left a lasting impression on people. <--I should have known better.
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Lamest. Battle. Ever. Let me save you some trouble. See, I thought that there was some menacing squid following them that decided to attack the sub and try to drag it to the bottom, or crush it with its massive tentacles, or break it open to slurp out the crew with a straw, or...something. Anything! But no. A group of big-ass squids was swimming by, a few got curious, one of the poor bastards got tangled around the fan or whatnot, and then when the crew when out to "fight" it off the Nautilus one of them got tossed off and killed. Oh, and Ned almost got eaten but Nemo hacked at the squid's beak and saved him. The End. Bah.
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There was a shining moment when I thought things were going to finally get cool as the Nautilus passed over Atlantis. Fucking Atlantis! <--Yes! These turds got out to explore every dull coral bed along the way, so surely they would stop and meander around this magically advanced civilization, right? Nope. They just floated on past it. Bye, Aquaman...
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And after that, I think I just lost the will to even try to muster up a few shits for the rest of it.
Nemo's quitting land because of {insert spoilery things here} was also ridiculous but I could have easily given it a pass if this were a remotely engaging story otherwise. Since it wasn't, that was just ONE MORE THING that I found annoying. I mean, really? Why the hell would anyone go to all that trouble of building this masterpiece of a submarine just for revenge? Just track the fuckers down and shoot them in the head. It would be waaaaay easier and ultimately less time-consuming. Oh, and their stupid secret language that they spoke on board? It was probably Pig Latin, because everything else they did seemed like something thought up by a 10 year old. Why keep Aronnax, Conseil, & Ned prisoner just because they had seen the Nautilus? <--made no sense! It's not as though anyone could track them down even if those guys spilled the beans! They were literally the ONLY submarine in the world at that point and the oceans are HUGE. Again, I would have overlooked that with pleasure if I weren't so pissed off with this boring time-suck.
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The only fun thing about this was Ned Land. <--harpooner extraordinaire Just the fact that he is the ONLY surly Canadian I've ever read about was almost worth the price of admission. Seriously. Name another volatile Canuck in literature. Kind of hard to do, eh? (view spoiler)[
The Count Of Monte Cristo is the story that teaches us an important moral lesson: REVENGE IS FUN!
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I've said it before and I'll say it again, audiThe Count Of Monte Cristo is the story that teaches us an important moral lesson: REVENGE IS FUN!
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I've said it before and I'll say it again, audiobooks are the only way to go if you're not the sort of reader who likes to read all the shitty filler and crunchy dialogue that normally comes with classic books. For those of you who think that classics are so much better than anything written in your own lifetime, please don't take offense. I'm only talking to the peasants out there (like me) who prefer action movies with big explosions to Oscar-winning stories about...well, whatever Oscar-winning stories are about.
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Ok, so I listened to the unabridged version by Blackstone Audiobooks. Narrator: John Lee <-- this guy did a FABULOUS job. Duration: 47:17:57 <--holy fuck!
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Another thing to keep in mind is that this book was serialized in a newspaper. This means, instead of getting the equivalent of a 2 hour movie, you're getting the equivalent of a tv show that ran for 9 seasons or something. Count of MC was the soap opera of its day. So yes. There's a hefty amount of shit in here that could have easily been chopped out.
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Also, if you've seen the 2002 movie The Count of Monte Cristo with Jim Caviezel, Guy Pearce, and young Superman? Well, then the actual story will come as quite a surprise to you. <--except for the names and general ideas, zero things are the same. Seriously. Both were good but I kind of prefer the movie ending if I'm being quite honest. Still, the book had soooo much more delicious scheming, backstabbing, and grifter-style revenge than the movie did. So. Yeah, I guess I'm torn...
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The gist is that this super nice guy, Edmond Dantès, starts off with everything going for him - true love, a wonderful father, and a job promotion. Everything is coming up roses for Dantès. But then! He gets set up by a few petty people who each want various things that are his. The poor dude gets well and truly fucked by random bad luck...and a dirty prosecutor.
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Anyway, in a truly over-the-top but fun way, Ed becomes an expert in everything to exact his vengeance on everyone who wronged him. Of course, he goes a bit too far and loses himself, then gets pulled back and finds himself again. But it's all the shit in between that's so much fun to see. In the end, it all gets wrapped up with a big bow by a beautiful 19 year old ex-princess.
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Like I mentioned, it's an incredibly unrealistic story that unfolds in the wackiest ways possible. I was hearing the theme music to Mission Impossible when he was snatching off disguises, doling out harmless advice about untraceable poisons, and shooting a revolver like he was a sniper with a red dot sight. <--I laughed so hard at the thought of him shooting the numbers on playing cards with such precision that he could turn one number into another. Get the fuck out of here with that nonsense, Dumas. And yet. It was still awesome. And so much fun to listen to!
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Yeah, there's stuff in here that's just a product of its time and doesn't make the transition to modern-day very well, but on the whole, it holds up so much better than a lot of the other classics you might be tempted to read. Toward the end, I was giving the universal wrap it up sign to Alexandre, but I'm pretty sure he didn't see me because he dragged the conclusion out a lot longer than needed.
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Even so, I'm giving it 5 stars for not boring the shit out of me. P.S. - I've heard tell there's an abridged version of this story out there. If audiobooks aren't your jam, then that could be a viable option if you are interested in reading this but don't have the patience to deal with all the crusty bits that don't need to be there....more
Very thorough world building and extremely thought-provoking story, but when it was over...?
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I just wasn't moved enough to grab the next book. I'Very thorough world building and extremely thought-provoking story, but when it was over...?
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I just wasn't moved enough to grab the next book. I'm pretty sure it's just me because this sucker has really high ratings and the vast majority of my friends LOVED it. I just couldn't connect with the main characters enough to truly care what happened to them by the end. At first, I thought I would love it, but by the last bit, I was just wanting it to be over so I could tick this one off my list...
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The book seems to be a mash-up of fantasy, alternate history, mystery, and spyish stuff. Which is pretty cool, to be honest. It just wasn't enough for me. It certainly wasn't a bad book. And I didn't struggle very much to get through it, but I'm not interested in continuing. However, there are a multitude of fabulous glowing reviews, so check them out before crossing this book off your list. ...more
Small time author, Sean McQueef, does it again! And by that, I mean he forced me to read another one of his books.
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In all quasi-seriousness, thiSmall time author, Sean McQueef, does it again! And by that, I mean he forced me to read another one of his books.
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In all quasi-seriousness, this was a funny fucking buddy adventure with a little bit of a Choose Your Own Adventure feel to it.
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Eh, don't get too excited. You pretty much had to be there when it came out in serial form to get a say in what happened. <-- Don't feel bad, I wasn't invited, either.
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Oh well. sighs Alright! So (like the title says) these are the Chronicles of Heloise. A self proclaimed gorgeous half elf, bard extraordinaire, mostly fearless adventurer for hire, and all-around badass chick.
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Oh. *cough* And Grimple. Heloise and Grimple. A giant, who (in an ill-thought-out card game) lost his magical club, and managed to get himself turned into a gnome (kinda). Then, in an even more ill-thought-out attempted kidnapping, managed to get himself turned into a gross gnome hybridish looking thing with huge hands and an annoying British accent. Yeah, ouch! Bad luck.
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But on the upside, the wizard they tried to abduct is interested enough in the magic it would take to return Grimple to normal, that he agrees to help them on their quest. Enter Kevil! <--does not rhyme with Evil And even without any prior adventuring experience, he has a few good ideas concerning how they should go about finding the mage that originally cursed Grimple.
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Plus, he's really kick-ass at creating illusions! And this will come in handy...
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Along the way, the trio will attempt to knock over a magical pawn shop, fight a group of religious zealots dressed as Scooby-Doo villains, and meet up with Heloise's longtime booty call...
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And much, much more! But, in actuality, not that much more. This isn't exactly a Lord of the Rings length novel, after all...
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In the interest of complete transparency, I'd like to state that I communicated with this author, using my personal email, and not a secured government server. And I've heard tell of that sort of thing getting people in trouble, so I just thought I'd mention it to be on the safe side. Loosely translated, that means that McQueef & I are friends. I know, right?
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Sadly, he did not pay me to give this a good review. (view spoiler)[Coulda been 5 stars, Sean! Just sayin'... (hide spoiler)] Ugh. shudder He has that poor person smell clinging to him, if you know what I mean?
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So. Yeah. This was fun! Highly recommended for all fantasy/D&D/WoW geeks out there!...more
So I was talking to my BFF last night, as I do on occasion, and she & I both agreed that those love scenes between Aelin & Rowan could have been axed So I was talking to my BFF last night, as I do on occasion, and she & I both agreed that those love scenes between Aelin & Rowan could have been axed without hurting our feelings one bit. All that lovey-doevy shit was a tad overpowering after a while.
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At some point it turned kinda...cringy? Not that I'm against lurve scenes, but something about the ones between those two just made me...
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WTF with the biting on each other?! <--is that a thing?! Is this something that I'm supposed to be doing to my husband? Because I haven't been! Has he been patiently waiting all these years for me to initiate chewing great hunks of skin off each other? I'm not sure I'm ready for that phase of our relationship, to be quite honest. I mean, realistically, I don't think I can pull it off! I have a horrible feeling that my attempt to be sexy would go horribly awry, and I would, in fact, end up looking a bit more like this...
Tonight, the role of Anne will be played by a feral duck.
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Now, having said that, I really thought this was a cool installation in the series! I'm not one who minded the switcheroo of love interests, and (besides the above complaint) I also didn't mind the more adult content in this book. S'cool, SJM. I can roll with the punches.
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My favorite characters are still Manon & Dorian. Together, separate...whatever. Those two steal every page that they're on. (view spoiler)[Oh, and their sex scene didn't skeeve me out. So, my earlier whining isn't because I don't think SJM can't write a love scene. (hide spoiler)] I can't get enough! I would honestly rather Aelin bite the dust than Dorian or Manon, and I mean that. I'm not saying I want her to, but if for some reason it came down to it...? Yeah. Sorry, but all good things must come to an end.
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Best part? No Chaol! Yep, his whiner ass was nowhere to be found between these pages!
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There were lots of POVs, so if you aren't a fan of Aelin anymore...never fear! There are enough characters to keep you interested. Lots of GOTCHA! moments, twists, and secrets finally revealed.
Was this perfect? Almost. I really think these books are getting better and better. And that shit that happened at the end? Buckle up! EMOTIONS!
Nope, not even the kind who've been resurrected for vengeance. Sorry, Eric.
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So if it's not Spoiler Alert! There are no CROWS in this story.
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Nope, not even the kind who've been resurrected for vengeance. Sorry, Eric.
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So if it's not about crows, then what's this book about? Well, it's a fantasy/heist story with a magical backdrop! However, I didn't think this was like Ocean's Eleven or The Palace Job, because it was a bit darker than either of those. Not that this story was bleak, but the characters just weren't as quirky, fun, and lovable. Quirky, yes. Fun and lovable...not so much. At least, not to me. What I'm trying to say is don't go into this expecting a lighthearted romp.
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But I still really enjoyed it, and I came to care for each of the flawed individuals in this story. I started the book off feeling one way about everyone and ended with a different impression of each of them. Maybe I didn't love them, but I felt like I understood them enough to like them. To root for them to rise above their problems, and maybe become better people. Even find happiness?
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The group is made up of thieves, gangsters, assassins, con-men, fanatics, and one wannabe demolition man. So what brings this band of derelicts together? Well, to steal an impossibly powerful weapon, and the man who created it, from an impenetrable fortress in order to save the world from war and destruction. Oh, and make a shitload of money in the process. Naturally, there are no surprises, no one double-crosses them, and everything goes according to plan! Or maybe not...
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Ok, when I picked this up, I had no idea it was set in the same world as Bardugo's Grisha series. I was under the impression that this was an entirely new thing. I was aware of her other books, but having heard mixed reviews on them, I'd put off checking them out. So when I started reading Six of Crows, and the term Grisha came up I had a freak-out moment. Oh my God! Why does it say Six of Crows #1 if it has these Grisha people in it?! I'm going to have to quickly read the first series if I'm going to understand what the hell is going on, aren't I?! Whhhhhhhy didn't I think to ask someone anyone tell me?! Waaaaaah!
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Thankfully, I have some long-suffering friends on Goodreads who managed to calm me down and set my mind at ease. So. Here's the skinny on it for those of you who are wondering: This is set in that same world, but you DON'T have to read the other books to enjoy this one. There's good world building and enough explanations for newbies to dive right on in, without spending time scratching their heads over obscure references. That was my experience, anyway.
I've also heard through the grapevine that this is actually better than the original series. So, whether you read the Grisha stuff and didn't care for it, or you haven't read the other books at all, I'd still recommend this one if you're looking for a good YA fantasy with lots of twists and turns.
Boy, this was just kinda bleak and depressing. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. I guess I was hoping for somet2.5 stars
Boy, this was just kinda bleak and depressing. I don't know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. I guess I was hoping for something different? To be honest, Peter Pan & his Co. are nowhere near my favorite characters. Even as a child, I thought he was obnoxious and stupid, and the Disney movie just depressed me. What was wrong with those people? Why the Hell did Wendy act like such an adult? Why wouldn't her parents let her stay with her brothers in the nursery? God! Those people were cruel! No wonder she wandered off with that creepy Pan kid. And then, why didn't he come back and live with her family at the end of the story? WHAT KIND OF CRAZY STORY IS THAT TO TELL LITTLE KIDS?
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*cough* The whole thing was just f-ed up. To me, anyway. Point is, I don't even like this story when it's not being retold in some horribly gloomy way from Hook's perspective. But if you are one of the millions of readers who adore anything Pan-related, you may have an entirely different experience than I did. Unfortunately, there was nothing about this one that I enjoyed. Sorry.
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Was Hook supposed to be a villain by the end? If so, I thought the author did a poor job convincing me that he had done anything wrong. And Pan? I wanted him dead. Tiger Lilly, too! Someone please run both those bitches through with a sword!
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Wendy? Shove that obnoxious little twat overboard, please. And her idiot brothers. And while you're at it, the rest of those spineless Lost Boys, as well. All of 'em. I wanna hear a big SPLASH!
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Well, Anne, if a book can make you feel this angry, then the author did a good job, right? Ok, maybe you have a point. If the author's point was to make me hate every single character in this story...job well done! Thing is, I was also bored during this book. Like, reallyreallyreally bored. The writing wasn't bad, but the story just sort of drug on and on and on and on without anything exciting going down. It was just one shitty thing after another happening to James Hook. And it felt like I was reading it in Real Time. Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.
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Admittedly, I'm not a fan of stories that don't give a reader hope. I don't enjoy reading defeatist stuff, and I don't enjoy watching someone self-destruct. Particularly when there was nothing they could have done to change the outcome. And I especially don't enjoy reading about it when there's no action. Hook and Pan fight. Hook could kill him...but because {insert inexplicable reason here} doesn't. Pan does something childishly evil. Wash, rinse, repeat. And then it ends.
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When I closed the book last night, I was ready to give this one star for wasting my time. But I honestly think the author is a good writer, so maybe it's just that it wasn't my cuppa.
Not a bad finish for this trilogy, but it was a bit too long for my taste. There just wasn't enough action to keep me interested in this 444 3.5 stars
Not a bad finish for this trilogy, but it was a bit too long for my taste. There just wasn't enough action to keep me interested in this 444 page book. By the 60% mark, I was checking in earnest to see how much longer till Mortal Heart wrapped up. It wasn't boring, per say, it just got kinda draggy.
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Also, I had already figured out the 3 Big Reveals, and I was sort of just waiting on the end of the book for confirmation. Pssst. I was right about all of them. And, you know, that's just a bummer. I hate it when nothing surprises me, because then I end up feeling sort of blah about the whole book. Not horrible, mind you, just meh.
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Ok, so this is Annith's story, but the ladies from the other 2 books make appearances, as well. I thought that their additions to the story were very well done. This being the last book, it tied up all the loose ends, so having the 3 of them meet up and finish everything off together was great.
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How was the romance? Well, it was alright. It didn't start off with insta-love on Annith's part, and it was nice to see a woman who wasn't fawning all over the first guy to pay her any attention.
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I mean, he was quite literally the first guy she had ever really had any real contact with. So, it would have been pretty easy for the author to make her go all doe-eyed & weak in the knees over him. But since she didn't get stupid over him in the beginning, I kinda enjoyed the lovey-dovey stuff. And by the end of the book, when they were going pretty hot an heavy, it felt more natural than I expected due to {spoilery reasons}. Also, it was all pretty fade to black, so while there was sex, you're not getting anything graphic.
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Final Book = Final Battle
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So, how was it? Well, considering how much the book seemed to drag on in parts, I thought the end was pretty good. There was enough of that OhMyGodWillEveryoneMakeIt!? kind of thing going on to keep my ass riveted to the seat. And once it was over, LaFevers tied up all of the loose plot threads quite nicely. Or, at least, I think she did. I haven't read the second book yet (still on hold at my library!), but it looked to me like everyone & everything got a tidy ending. And while I wasn't blown out of the water by this one, I'm still glad I read it, if for no other reason than (after I get my hands on book 2!) I can finally tick this trilogy off my list.
Is there anyone who doesn't secretly love stories about King Arthur and Camelot?
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So I've been curious about this story for a while, but I avoidIs there anyone who doesn't secretly love stories about King Arthur and Camelot?
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So I've been curious about this story for a while, but I avoided it because Sean is a good friend. I mean, he named his daughter after me, that's how close we are! Not really. Total coincidence. Roll with it, though, because I like to feel special. Anyway, when it popped up in my feed again the other day, I caved in and added it. So, of course, Sean (because he knows how cheap I am) offered to gift it to me. His only stipulation was that if I trashed his book, I had to make the review funny. About 4% into the book, I was trying to come up with Knock-Knock jokes.
Knock-knock. Who's there? Imma. Imma who? Imma pretty sure Sean's gonna de-friend me after this review. *rim shot*
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Here's the thing, I don't like books that are full of unnecessary description. And as the main character was being introduced, I started getting bogged down by descriptive prose.
The blowing wind made him grateful for the warm glow that emanated from the library's fireplace, an antique structure surrounded by a bronze relief that depicted a parade of ancient gods. In the evening, the fire would cast shadows across the wall, presenting a fierce struggle worthy of those same gods, one that raged until the blaze had burned itself out.
Ok, after reading that, some of you are looking at me like, What's wrong with you?! That's beautiful writing!
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But then some of you, my brothers and sisters in the Move-It-The-Hell-Along sect, are nodding your heads and grimacing.
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My version of those same sentences? Brrr. It's cold. Thank fuck I lit a fire. Boom! Done.
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For those of you who are like me, I want to point out that this is only an issue in the first chapter. After that, shit starts happening. I have a sneaking feeling that Sean's son stole his purple crayon back, and probably drew something Refrigerator-worthy with it. Thank you, Henry!
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Ok. The second problem I had when I started didn't have anything to do with the writing or story. I was actually just having a hard time taking anything Sean wrote seriously. See, he & I both belong to the same comic book club. Now, the other members & I like to think we're getting together to chat about graphic novels, but the reality is that most of what we talk about is simply depraved nonsense. Would you like an extra pat of butter on that blue waffle? And Sean is just as twisted as the rest of us, which makes him about as mature as a queef joke. How do you read a book written by a walking queef!? One of the characters would start to say something important, and my mind would send me off-path. Suddenly, I'm thinking about something ridiculous that Sean had said about creme filled donuts. Heh. Lady creme...
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Anyway. At first, it was hard to stay on track. But then something weird happened about 9% of the way into this sucker. I fucking forgot about Sean! He just sort of disappeared from my mind, and I totally got into the story.
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I should mention that this is set in the... Um? Well, whenever Victoria was queen of England. *cough* Whatever! It'll come to me, eventually.
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Alfred and Will are two middle-aged friends who've known each other for most of their lives. Alfred is a happily married noble, kind of an introvert, and (most importantly) he's one of the premier experts on the Arthurian legend. Will is a respected bookseller, confirmed bachelor, and all-around fun guy. Despite their differences, they're pretty much BFF's. Ok, Alfred's wife is dying, and he's heartbroken that he can't save her. So, when a shady dude claiming he's from a secret agency within the British government corners him at a party and tells him that they need his help to locate King Arthur's scabbard (which is reported to have healing properties), Al can't help but jump on board. Alfred confides his plans in Will and takes off to meet a mysterious figure named Nigel. Right off the bat, you know Nigel is not what he seems...
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In my head, I'm screaming for Alfred to get the hell away from this guy. He's nefarious! Noooo! Don't get bedazzled by his powers! Run, man! RUN! But, it turns out, Will is not entirely what he seems, either. I don't want to spoil anything, but he knows more than he lets on about stuff, and he begins working desperately behind the scenes to protect his friend.
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Now, I'm not an expert on Camelot, so I have no idea about whether the legends used were accurate, or whether Sean just made all that shit up, but it sounded legit when I was reading it. I gobbled it up, and that's all that really mattered.
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This was a surprisingly good story! I mean, just the fact that the main characters were old guys mature men and not 20somethings was a total bonus for me. I'm so sick and tired of everything revolving around youth like somehow you never do anything fun or adventurous after you turn 35. Horseshit! It rocks to get older!
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Alright. That ending. What. The. Fuck. Seriously, Sean? Seriously? That shit is not going to fly, pal. I mean, I get it. It was a total dude-ending. Bro-hug, keep a stiff upper lip, take a drink, and squint your eyes to find the tiny sliver of light at the end of the tunnel.
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No! No way. I want a sequel! I need these two to go on a few more adventures before they hang it up. Get on it!
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Anyway, this was just a great buddy-adventure with a pinch of magic thrown in for good measure. It had pretty much everything I look for in a book. I still can't believe it didn't suck. I mean, it's not some crappy indie turd that my friend banged out on his tablet! Color me shocked. Now, come here and pull my finger, Sean...
This was my very first audiobook! I'd never found a reason to listen to a book (rather than read it) because it just takes so much longer to finish. AlThis was my very first audiobook! I'd never found a reason to listen to a book (rather than read it) because it just takes so much longer to finish. Also, I noticed that most people who love audiobooks tend to have a commute, and I'm never in a car (without kids) long enough to listen to anything. So, no reason for audio books. But. I started exercising...because flab happens. And for a while, it was fun with Richard.
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Eventually, however, I moved on to an aerobic walking video. Because I'm cool like that. And also because it hurts my knees to even watch stuff like this:
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And as much as I benefit from the low impact exercise, the lady who does them is like Fran Drescher in yoga pants.
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Is your workout in a slump? Then come join us! We're sisters in SWEAT! {insert braying laugh} This is REAL sweat, ladies! *in fake Italian accent* I lika to sweat! {insert more braying laughter} I'm soooo silly! God help me, for 45 minutes a day, part of my workout consisted of not throwing my shoe at the television. Then one glorious morning at the library, I was introduced to a little something called Play-A-Way. Not by My Librarian, mind you. No, she was too busy collecting late fees (probably from orphans!) to bother showing off this technological wonder to an honored patron like myself. Not mad, Danielle, just disappointed... And now, with tiny things that the kids these days are calling earbuds, I can block the goat-like bleating of Walking Chick's voice, while still making my doctor happy with my daily dose of aerobics, AND I get to listen to a story while I do it!
So, was Uncommon Criminals any good, you ask? Well... I grabbed it because it was available that day at the library, and not because I'm a big fan of Ally Carter's series. I was just so friggin' happy not to be listening to those lame jokes & horsey laughter that I'm pretty sure I would have enjoyed anything.
Having said that, I think this was a cute story. Not fantastic, but cute. I had a hard time swallowing that these kids were good enough to fly all around the world and con professionals. But, then again, I'm waaay outside the age range for teeny-bopper heist stories. And this is definitely a teeny-bopper story. I do love YA, but this isn't a series that I would recommend to adult readers. But it is something that I would recommend to my daughter in a year or so, which says something.
2023 Ok, just finished the audiobook and it was great. It's been a long time since I read this one originally and (thanks to my terrible memory) I was 2023 Ok, just finished the audiobook and it was great. It's been a long time since I read this one originally and (thanks to my terrible memory) I was just as shocked this time around by the deaths as I was last time. Looking forward to finding out how this ends finally.
2015 Just finished Book 3 and it was AWESOME! How did I not know about this series before a month ago?! I'm guessing it was because my Pushy Librarian wasn't quite pushy enough. Anyway, this is a reallyreallyreally good mature young adult fantasy. If you're into that sort of thing, you should really give these books a shot.
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The main thing that I love about these books (as I've mentioned before) is that you never know who the hell is going to end up getting offed by the end of the book. Some of the characters that I thought would make it to the end of this one most certainly didn't.
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And to top it off, there were a few unexpected saves, as well! Only not by a mini-Godzilla...
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Magnus & Cleo are the heart of this story, but the other characters are all well fleshed out and just as important, in my opinion. However, I could probably stand to lose any of them. Whereas, Rhodes needs to keep in mind that I Will Not Tolerate anything happening to either of my favorites! Because I'm sure she cares what I think. Really.
Alright. So the mystical gateway Road-thingy is almost finished, the rebels are still getting slaughtered every time they turn around, Nic may have fallen for a treacherous prince, the evil Watcher chick has all of her nefarious plans in motion, Lysandra has her head (quite literally) on the chopping block, a hawk turns into a human and renounces his immortality, Jonas has been befriended by an assassin with a dark past, Cleo is playing a dangerous game inside the palace walls, Magnus has to decide whether or not he's going to stand by his father, and it looks like Lucia has totally trusted the wrong guy! Oh, yeah. It's getting goooood.
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I can't believe it took me this long to discover this series! The next book doesn't come out until December, but you can bet I'll be standing in line to get my hands on it.
This is my kind of fantasy. It's got that unputdownable thing going for it that just KILLS my ability to function as a normal person, with normal persoThis is my kind of fantasy. It's got that unputdownable thing going for it that just KILLS my ability to function as a normal person, with normal person things to do. I made deals with myself for a few days while I was reading this. Bad deals, but deals, nonetheless. Deals like: I will feed the kids nutritious (yet delicious!) meals once I finish Prophecy Con. Tonight, though, I can throw a frozen pizza in the oven for them, and we'll call pepperoni a vegetable! Because that's what books like this do to me. They force me to malnourish my children. Sorry, kids.
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This picks up not very long after the first book, The Palace Job leaves off. So, Loch gets to be a reputable law-abiding citizen for about 10 pages in this one, and then all hell just breaks loose. Somebody has set Loch up to take the blame for a political snafu...of sorts. Plan A was to kill her on the spot, and leave no witnesses. Alas, for them, no. Naturally, Loch and Kail escape, because they're AWESOME! Duh. And, also, if they died in the first ten pages this would have been a hard book to sell... Still, in order to avoid a war they need to find something that will appease the wronged party. Something that is preferably not Loch's head. Enter the elven poems...that no one can even read. What about the rest of the crazy-but-lovable crew, you ask? Well, the whole gang (eventually) gets back together to help clear Loch's name, and the race to find the ancient relic thing is on!
Like the last book, this has a hyper-twisty storyline, and there never seems to be enough of a break in the action to be able to comfortably put this down. *see starving children* It's one double cross after another, and then a few side cons just to keep things interesting. I thought I wouldn't get bamboozled by the Whodunnit this time around, but even after I found out who was responsible for everything, I still couldn't believe it. Damn! You're a sneaky man, Mr. Weekes!
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Cliffhanger? Why, yes. Yes, there is. And not just any old cliffhanger! One that's so freakin' big, I don't even have to ask if there's going to be a third book. Was I shocked? Um...yes. A bit.
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The less I say about the actual plot the better, but if you're a fan of fantasy, humor, & heist-like stories, then this a series to check out!
Important Edit, People! It turns out the reason I found the ending to be so shocking and cliffhangery, was because I read the Kindle version of this, and the Post-Script (epilogue) was after the Acknowledgements. If you have a Kindle, then you already know that Amazon likes to kick you out of the book when you finish, and into their How Would You Rate This...thing. It's annoying to say the least, because in order to rate it, you actually have to write a review. And, I personally write enough reviews as it is. So, no thank you. This time around it caused me to miss some pertinent information! *glares at Amazon* Anyway, if you buy the Kindle version, don't forget to look for the epilogue.
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