The gist of this one is that Billy Goat Gruff is a scary-as-hell monster that wants to wear your face.
[image]
The premise is weird but interesting. WeiThe gist of this one is that Billy Goat Gruff is a scary-as-hell monster that wants to wear your face.
[image]
The premise is weird but interesting. Weird because these kids seem too talented to be in high school, and interesting because it involves what happens to a family after a child goes missing. Ok. So, there's this teenage filmmaker, Brenda. And she's just oozing talent. Her little sister, Amanda, is also oozing talent as an actress who stars in her older sis' films. Both girls are well-liked and like each other. So when her little sister traipses out into the woods to sneak a few beers and never comes home, Brenda is devastated. More so when her parents blame her in a local television interview for not keeping a better eye on Amamda.
[image]
Fast forward a few years and Brenda is 18. She hasn't picked up a camera since Amanda disappeared, her parents are zombies, and she's now living on her own. She's been hearing local legends about some kind of a freaky supernatural bridge that appears in the same woods that swallowed her sister. The whole thing is connected to a creature called Opso that is spoken about only in whispers when a random hiker goes missing. She feels like whatever this thing is, it might be responsible for her sister's disappearance. But no one will believe her unless she gets some kind of evidence. So Brenda packs up her equipment and heads into the woods to get this thing on video.
[image]
That won't end well, will it? Hmmm. You might be surprised.
[image]
This wasn't my favorite but it was still a decent offering for the Creature Feature Collection. If you're looking for a short horror story, you could do a lot worse. Recommended....more
I kept seeing this all over the place, so I thought I'd give it a listen. I tried. I did. But it just seemed like some kind of a sad DNF...not far in.
I kept seeing this all over the place, so I thought I'd give it a listen. I tried. I did. But it just seemed like some kind of a sad swamp girl story and I lost interest pretty quickly. I decided to look up the plot synopsis to see if maybe it got interesting later on, and I'm glad I did. No offense to everyone who loved it, but this kind of thing just isn't my jam....more
Lesbian Werewolf Comic! I saw that description when I was digging around for images and it made me giggle.
[image]
And it is a lesbian werewolf comic. BuLesbian Werewolf Comic! I saw that description when I was digging around for images and it made me giggle.
[image]
And it is a lesbian werewolf comic. But not in the porn-y women in prison way, so don't get too excited.
[image]
The gist is that you have this woman who makes a deal with someone and uses the darker arts to become something that can avenge her lover's death and maybe save her soul in the process. And off she goes on a quest looking like a mean version of Lassie!
[image]
The whole comic has this pulpy feel to it that was just...fun. And the art was kind of perfect for this sort of story. I wasn't sure how much I would like this when I was reading the back, but it turned out to be one of the favorites from this HUGE pile of Halloween/Birthday comics I got from a friend this month. (view spoiler)[Thank you and Boo! [image] (hide spoiler)]
[image]
If you're looking for a spooky comic to set the mood for October, check this one out! Recommended....more
Alright, now I listened to the full-cast audiobook and thought that was lovely. However, that meant that I didn't get to look at any of the lovely drawAlright, now I listened to the full-cast audiobook and thought that was lovely. However, that meant that I didn't get to look at any of the lovely drawings that everyone else is talking about in their reviews. From what I can find online, they're worth eyeballing. Free Lesson of the Day: Life is a series of trade-offs, kids.
[image]
Okey-doke. Gaiman is very much hit or miss with me. I sometimes feel like he goes off on rambling tangents and I do not care to traipse along with him. But how much trouble can he get into with a short story? Not much, thankfully.
Spoilers Below!
[image]
I like that he made the queen a badass, but more than that, I liked that she was the one who kissed the sleeping princess without it turning into some sort of crappy, jerk-off lesbian fantasy material. However. There's just not a lot here. Faux Snow White (now a queen) takes off with a few dwarves to go check out some odd happenings a few days (weeks? not sure, but it was a damn sight close) before her marriage. She ends up unraveling a mystery and saving the kingdom of Pseudo Sleeping Beauty. <--the kiss, remember? Then she decides she wants to have adventures instead of marriage and tromps off into the sunset and away from her kingdom.
[image]
Except that was weird. Not her choosing adventure, just the way she did it. I mean, she was the boss when she left her kingdom. There didn't seem to be a valid reason to leave, you know? It didn't appear that she was being forced into marriage, even if she was only mildly fond of the prince and it was a political match. And if she leaves, what happens to all of her subjects? How are you going to guarantee that some tyrant isn't going to step in and take over? If you are the queen of a kingdom and you want to chuck it all and become a pirate, well...you do you. But common courtesy says that you should (as a responsible adult) at least make sure the kingdom doesn't end up getting turned over to someone who is twirling their mustache and cackling. I assume she thought it was all going to be ok, but I think you'd need a visual confirmation for something that big. Also, the prince deserved better than getting ghosted. There was nothing in the story that says he was anything other than a good guy. <--doesn't mean she needs to love him, but it does mean he should get more than a lifetime of wondering if his fiancee got eaten by a bear.
[image]
Bitching aside, it was a good short story that gave the Snow White & Sleeping Beauty fairytales a nice little kick in the ass....more
Evil twin! Yeah, it's been done to death, but it's still a fun trope.
[image]
Ok, so this was one of the many times when irony kicked me in my tits. JustEvil twin! Yeah, it's been done to death, but it's still a fun trope.
[image]
Ok, so this was one of the many times when irony kicked me in my tits. Just as soon as I gave up on the library ever finding their missing copy of this volume (it had been in book limbo for 3 or 4 months), and decided to go ahead and read volume 3...they told me they had it ready and waiting for me. Because of course they did. However! For whatever reason, vol 3 & vol 2 are actually pretty self-contained, and 3 didn't really seem to build much off of this. Which also means that the next volume didn't really give me any spoilers for this one. So, while my shitty luck did try to fuck me over, it didn't actually succeed. Ha! In your face, Murphy!
[image]
Anyway. If you like Redneck Southern Gothic style stuff with spooky-ass witchy women (<--this is also how my husband 'lovingly' describes me, by the way) in a comic setting, then this will probably be right up your alley. Emmy and her freaky twin go head-to-head in an all out battle for control of Harrow County's haints, and it turns out pretty much exactly like you would expect it to.
[image]
Recommended for people who love creepy country bumpkins....more
This was a funny book. Funny ha-ha or funny odd, you ask? Both, I say.
[image]
I read this book because karenmade asked me. Now, she normally doesn't askThis was a funny book. Funny ha-ha or funny odd, you ask? Both, I say.
[image]
I read this book because karenmade asked me. Now, she normally doesn't ask me to do anything for her. Well, there was that one time she had a few odd requests, but in her defense, she had been drinking heavily - as was evidenced by the fact that she kept calling me Handsome Sir while awkwardly petting my hair. Ahhh, boozy karen is a fun gal... Point is, she said this was a weird little story that would be right up my alley. I told her ok and the book came crashing through my kitchen window a few minutes later. True story.
[image]
Fine. It may or may not have happened that way. Regardless, I was left with a book that I would never have willingly picked up on my own. But I ended up enjoying it quite a bit, so I guess I should thank her for being pushy. I won't. But I should.
[image]
So what was this about? The gist is that this weird little offshoot group of the Vikings made it to North America and met up with a tribe of Native Americans who decided that their god wanted them to take care of these guys. In exchange for basically every need being met, these Viking pilgrims just had to not leave a 10 mile area. Which for about 100 years worked out really well for them. Other than the part where the vast majority became oafish and lazy. Good times...
[image]
And then a pregnant Empress-god has a vision that these pasty Mushroom Men (<--as they are known) will destroy the world. At which point, things get strange.
[image]
I have to say it was definitely the humor and nutty (or maybe not so nutty because who really knows how things went down back in the day) historical fantasyesque setting that sucked me in.
[image]
On a side note: I've been trying to get my son, who loves all things Norse and fantasy, to read this. His response to my prodding was, That book with the weird cover and stupid name?. Now, I'll admit the name You Die When You Die might be jarring or off-putting, and the guy on the cover kind of looks like a crackhead that got hold of a hatchet. BUT! What's inside it is really cool so please don't judge a book by its cover. Unless you think the cover is awesome. If so, judge away...
[image]
Anyway, the rest of the story revolves around this pack of weirdos and losers that have to trek across the continent to some mysterious place that a mentally challenged child-psychic saw in a vision. <--says his little sister All the while, a pack of supernaturally enhanced and totally hot warrior women (and the Empress' warlock!) try to catch them, kill them, and eat them. Sounds wacky but it makes sense. Promise.
[image]
If this genre sounds even remotely like something you might enjoy, pick it up. I mean, I had comic books I wanted to read and I picked this instead. You're not going to get much higher praise out of me....more
This is lovely...but not much happens. I kept hearing how this was so amazing and whatnot, but it was (looking back on it) slightly boring and could haThis is lovely...but not much happens. I kept hearing how this was so amazing and whatnot, but it was (looking back on it) slightly boring and could have been seriously condensed. By a lot of pages. BUT. <--that's just me. I don't dig lyrical shit all that much. Anyway, this was set in Russia, which got my attention right away. Very cool. So the (super-condensed) gist is that this girl, Vasya, is a bit magical and she does some helpful magical stuff to save all the ungrateful peasants.
[image]
Only it takes a long time to get to that part. In fact, it takes a long time to get to anything remotely action-y in this book. But, unbelievably, I'm still interested. There's something here that's just undefinably good, even though I'm not one for a lot of nonsense and meandering in my books. This one definitely rambles around the point and makes you sit still while it tells you everything about this girl's life. I say girl, but she becomes a young woman while you read. And you feel like you've earned her womanhood right alongside her by the time she gets around to having her first period.
[image]
I kid, I kid! But you honestly follow this chick from pre-birth to birth, through childhood into tweenhood, then into the early teens. <--because this is old-timey Russia and you're a woman at 12, so Vasya is fucking old as hell by the time she sets off to confront the one-eyed old man in the woods. However, you do really feel like you get to know these characters (all of them) inside and out. <--that was nice. And while I normally don't dig that slow style of storytelling, it worked better for me here than it has in other books. In a good way, it kind of reminded me of the dense fairytales in Uprooted or Spinning Silver, but I didn't quite enjoy this as much as either of those. Possibly because this is a trilogy and it's going to take longer to tell the complete story? Or possibly because I don't know much about Russian folklore?
[image]
I don't know. I think I might really have given this 4 stars except for the fact that weeks later I'm still debating on whether or not I want to read the second book. Just the idea of jumping into something this thick and crunchy again is filling me with a sense of waffle-y-ness about the entire endeavor. I'm not sure what to do. Did anyone else have this problem?...more
Cullen Bunn's Harrow County is actually more like what I wanted, but quite didn't get, from Scott Snyder's Wytches.
You Caint Never Kill Them Spooky DeCullen Bunn's Harrow County is actually more like what I wanted, but quite didn't get, from Scott Snyder's Wytches.
You Caint Never Kill Them Spooky Devil Women! [image] You've got a girl on the cusp of womanhood who may be in danger, townspeople harboring a secret past, and a mystery that gets more frightening the closer it gets to being solved. Stir it all up, and you've got a quite a scary mystery!
[image]
Alright, when I first got this one, I stuffed it on the bottom of my reading pile. Why? Well, initially I had the same problem with this cover as I did with Colder. I mean, this one is nowhere near as disgusting, but it was still very misleading. <--to me You see that boneless, bloody arm hanging out of a drawer, and what looks like the skin of a face inside it, right? And just like with Colder, my mind goes right to a serial killer who skins his victims and maybe keeps the remnants in a box as a trophy. I do not (personally) see a box full of skin and think: WITCHES!
[image]
But this is about a witch. And, apparently, that pile of dermis is called a Haint. Yeah, I don't really know what that is, either. Best guess? It's just the old-timey southern way to pronounce Haunt. *spits tobacco* But it runs around helping Emmy, so it can't be all bad, right? Eventually, they become friends, and she carries it around in her bag. I know you think I'm kidding, but I'm not...
[image]
Anyway. Emmy is about to turn 18, and there's all this foreshadow-y stuff about what might happen when she does. OMG! What's gonna happen to Emmy?!
[image]
But seriously, it's a good story. If you like this kind of thing, read it.
The only thing I was kind of iffy about was the art. I'm not sold on those round faces. Also, it looked like everyone had a perpetual cold, what with all the red noses and cheeks. Plus, Emmy looks like she's maybe 10 years old. I guess it could have been done on purpose to make her seem even more sympathetic, but...eh. I couldn't quite take her as seriously as I wanted to because (at times) she looked like a clunky, backward child.
[image]
Still, iffy art wasn't enough to dampen my enjoyment of this one. I thought it was great, and I'm really looking forward to seeing what happens in the next volume!
This was another fantastic comic that came out my Halloween goodie basket. Thanks again to my Scary Santa for the gifts!
I kind of surprised I liked this book at all, because: a) I read pathetically little non-fiction b) I've never read a travelogue AND c) I'm only a fan I kind of surprised I liked this book at all, because: a) I read pathetically little non-fiction b) I've never read a travelogue AND c) I'm only a fan of the Great Outdoors as long as I'm safely Indoors.
[image]
So, color me shocked that I not only finished this, but giggled my way through quite a bit of it! Bryson really is a pretty funny writer, and the way he captured his experience on the Appalachian Trail had me in tears a few times. His fears about getting mauled by a bear (among other things) before he started off were especially hysterical, and maybe that's because I could see a lot of myself in his initial terror of spending so much time surrounded by...NATURE!
[image]
Now, there was a decent-sized chunk towards the middle of the book that I just had to grit my teeth and push on through. Bryson's friend Katz wasn't with him during this portion, and the difference in the tone of the writing is really noticeable. Lots and lots and lots of mind-numbing details about the Trail, and very little of his experiences. And while all of that sort of info is relevant to the book, it's also the main reason that I don't actively seek out non-fictionortravelogues.
[image]
Eventually, Katz comes back to finish out the hike, and the story vastly improves, but it never managed to recapture the humor or spirit that it had in the beginning.
[image]
But that's only MY opinion. And I really did enjoy the last bits of the book a lot. Especially the moments between Katz & Bryson there towards the end. Overall, I'd say this was a winner. And even if the whole thing wasn't to my liking, the first half was an easy 5 star read for me. In fact, it made me want to call up my BFF to see if she wanted to take the kids camping this summer so we could poop near a waterfall!
[image]
You know, instead of meeting at a hotel on the beach and drinking ourselves silly while the kids play in the surf. And then I thought about that sentence. Bwahahahahahahaha! No. Just...no. See you in Florida, Jill! I'll bring the blender!
To be honest, I saw the flannel shirt on the front, thought it was another of Lemire's slice of life stories, and ran away. And I remember looking it To be honest, I saw the flannel shirt on the front, thought it was another of Lemire's slice of life stories, and ran away. And I remember looking it up and seeing these black and white drawings, which just kind of solidified the idea that it was another Essex County.
[image]
Also, I really don't like Lemire as an artist. I've yet to see anything remotely pleasing to the eye that he's drawn. Sweet Tooth is no exception. But it's not bad enough to make me want to stop reading the story, so there's that.
[image]
Alright. A lot of my friends have been saying this is a great story. And I just saw the trailer for the Netflix show, and that shit looked really interesting, so I went ahead and picked this first volume up. Well, after one of my good friends (The Chad) informed me that I was an idiot and this wasn't a black and white comic. Grammarly keeps trying to tell me that The Chad is incorrect with a big angry red line. Grammarly is wrong. Chad is a wizard. If wizards knew everything about comics, that is. Anyway. I finally read this.
[image]
Ehhhh. Gotta say I'm not all that impressed. This hillbilly deer-boy who has never been out of the woods goes on an adventure after his father dies. And he narrates it in his 9 year old hillbilly voice. What the fuck, Dad? You found the time to teach him how to read the Bible and grow food, but you couldn't be bothered to teach him how to speak? Then again, maybe pappa was a mountain man? But if I find out that his dad was a doctor or something later on down the line, I'm going to be pissed.
[image]
Ok. I'm guessing this gets better as it goes on, so I'm going to plow ahead....more
I don't know about you, but when I think of Tarzan, I see that classic image of him swinging through the trees and hear that crazy yodel-scream thing I don't know about you, but when I think of Tarzan, I see that classic image of him swinging through the trees and hear that crazy yodel-scream thing he did. I've seen multiple movies but I've never read the real stories, so I thought it was high time to remedy that.
[image]
Truthfully, Burroughs' classic didn't age particularly well, but it was still an interesting read. The idea of Tarzan is just so cool!
[image]
You just have to be prepared to cringe because there's a lot of just insultingly weird portrayals of anyone who isn't white. It's...bad. And then you have to try not to laugh too hard at the batshit reasons Burroughs gives to explain how Tarzan survived this wildman experience, without becoming either instantly dead or completely feral.
[image]
And not only survived but thrived! He becomes the alpha predator of the jungle, easily killing lions and apes with his superman muscles and aristocratic reasoning. Why? Because aristocrats make the smartest babies. In fact, he has so much of that amazing bloodline running through his veins that he teaches himself to read and write with the leftover books he found in his parents' treehouse.
[image]
Annnnnd to top it all off, he's the most handsome guy on the planet -not some scarred-up bitch with cracked teeth and lice.
[image]
It was cute that he fell in love with Jane instantaneously. But a tad unrealistic that once he saw her, he simultaneously felt something stirring for the first time within him. And I know this is so wrong but my immediate thought was that there was no way he hadn't fucked a monkey before he met her. I mean, all things considered? Yeah. Probably not a virgin. Ewww.
[image]
Oh, and did you know that Tarzan has something like 24 books in his series? I didn't! I thought it was one book with a couple of spin-off tales.
[image]
Turns out, there were a lot of things I didn't know about this story. 1) Tarzan doesn't actually like to hang out with the apes. From the different media representations I'd seen, I was under the impression he was chummy with his jungle pals well into adulthood. Not so. He's bored with their shit and wants to find some white dudes to hang out with. So they're not friends, he was just the badass who killed the last leader of the apes and earned their respect.
[image]
2) He doesn't kill predators with his hands alone. He relies on a rope to choke those bitches out, a knife he found so he can stab them, and poison arrows that he steals from a village. I don't know why, but I always thought he just wrestled them to death. <--completely stupid on my part, but I know I can't be the only one!
[image]
3) Clayton isn't a bad guy. He is, unbeknownst to both of them, Tarzan's cousin and rival for Jane's affections, and he does say a few shitty things one time when he gets jealous. BUT. Overall, he's a decent fellow.
[image]
4) He doesn't get the girl! Not right away and not in this book. Turns out, once Jane thinks about it she's not entirely convinced that the long-term ramifications of marrying a guy who eats raw meat with his hands will be bliss. Ah, some days I wish I'd had her foresight...
[image]
5) Jane doesn't teach Tarzan to speak, either. That's some French army dude that I had no idea even existed, but these two become the best of friends and travel around together for a chunk of the book. French is, therefore, Zan's first (human) language.
[image]
6) Jane's father isn't as nice as I thought. He was neglectful, and also pretty much selling Jane off to this asshole guy he owed money to after his treasure hunt went tits up. <--yes, that's why they were in the jungle to start with - pirate treasure! Oh, Disney, how you lied to me!
[image]
This whole book shocked me, to be quite honest. But even with all the problems, I regret nothing. The pacing was great for an older book and even if not one bit of the story was remotely plausible, it was a wacky ride in the best way possible. I can definitely see why these were such beloved books.
I couldn't find the edition that I listened to, but it was produced by Dreamscape Media, LLC and read by Jeff Harding. I thought he did a good job....more
Loading...
